Don't go to other people's hospital births - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-02-2007, 04:23 PM - Thread Starter
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I know there is a thread on how you shouldn't watch baby shows on tv. i just want to say on a similar note that you also shouldn't go to the birth of babies to friends who aren't into the "natural" thing. my two sister in laws have both recently had babies and both times i made the mistake of going to see them in the hospital. i was just horrified the entire time. when my neice was born she just cried and cried because the nurses never brought her formula (my sister in law doesn't nurse-she thinks it is grose). the baby with like 45 minutes old before they were like what kind of formula should we bring? the nurses took the baby to be bathed...i can't imagine not giving the baby its first bath or even seeing it..and aren't they not supposed to get a bath for like a week or something. sil was shaking so hard from all the drugs and stuff she couldn't hold the baby. sil#2 kept baby in the nursery for almost 24 hours after it was born and the staff encouraged it. over all i fault the parenting styles of my sil's but i hate how they staff at both institutions sort of encouraged their choices. neither of them breatfeed and it just felt like the babies were alone and crying the whole time they were at the hospital. i hate to say that that is poor parenting since they are family, but really i think that for many average people this is what happens. just makes me sad for all the babies.
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#2 of 6 Old 08-02-2007, 04:38 PM
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Not all hospital births are unnatural intervention filled nightmares. My mother had four natural hospital births, I've had two and the last birth I was at was my sister's which was an incredible thing to witness. I can't imagine not being there to support people I am close to and meet a new member of my family even if they chose to birth in a way I disagree with or that I find upsetting. My SIL is due two months before me and she's not at all into natural birth though I'm doing my best to sneakily reprogram her ( ) before The Big Day. But even if she choses to be induced, have an epi, or ends up with a c-section I'll most definitely be there to support her and my brother and meet my new niece!
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#3 of 6 Old 08-02-2007, 05:08 PM
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I'm planning a natural birth with midwives and a doula at a birthing center (which is attached to a hospital, but they're very pro-natural birth and anti-intervention), and I've attended a friend's natural birth at a hospital. It was a pretty positive experience.

That said, a few years ago I attended a different friend's birth at a large urban medical center (#2 hospital in the country, I might add), and it scared the CRAP out of me. She had unsupportive nurses and a terrible bossy OB that railroaded her into an epidural and pitocin when she was having back labor and "wasn't progressing." Of course, no mention of changing position or anything because she was hooked up to so many tubes and monitors. After 18 hrs. they did a c-section and whisked the baby off to god-knows-where for what seemed like an eternity. Frankly, I think that experience is my primary source of anxiety about giving birth.

So personally, yeah, I think I'd avoid any more situations like that. It's been four years and every awful detail is still blazed into my brain.

wife to DH since 10/03, mama to DS (12/07)
also mom to small zoo: 3 snakes, 4 and one very lovable pit bull
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#4 of 6 Old 08-02-2007, 09:44 PM
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I think some of this is cultural I'm lucky enough to live in NZ where women bring a lead maternity carer to the hospital with them. The vast majority of births are midwife only and are very low tech. My partner had a lovely hospital birth with Emmett, we arrived when she was 7 cm, she never got on the bed, had a lovely very strong shower for analgesia, pushed him out squatting, went home 2 hours later. We held him, dressed him, he even got to nurse from me (I was still feeding his big brother) with only positive comments from the midwives.

Although I dream of a solo UC on the bathroom floor, I'm planning a hospital birth due to my history of HELLP and c-section at 28 weeks. I have the same midwife as Leah had and I know she'll support me to have a natural birth if at all humanly possible.

I am a family doctor and also attend births in that role, I have never done an episiotomy except for fetal distress (twice in four years), hardly ever need to suture anyone, babies are always put straight to the mothers chest, all women are encouraged to breastfeed in the first hour (pretty well all do), I examine babies on their mothers unless they are not breathing or are very ill.

NZ has mostly developed a culture of excellence in childbirth without unnecessary interventions. I still see unnecessary cascades of intervention in some instances in the big hospitals but we are lucky to have more options to avoid this than most American women.

Anna, partner to Leah, mum to Bede 7 and Emmett 3, having another in Jan 2008
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#5 of 6 Old 08-04-2007, 11:26 PM
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I've been at several of my friends' hospital births, and if anything (besides breaking my heart), it serves as powerful reinforcement for the natural birthing choices I've made. It really is sad to think about what the state of mainstream birthing in America is. Makes me want to start a PSA campaign!

(FWIW, I get the shakes terribly after each birth, even though it was drug-free and at home. It can be hormones and/or blood loss that cause them, not just meds.)
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#6 of 6 Old 08-05-2007, 08:26 AM
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Originally Posted by allnaturalmama View Post
...(FWIW, I get the shakes terribly after each birth, even though it was drug-free and at home. It can be hormones and/or blood loss that cause them, not just meds.)
Traditional Chinese Medicine says pregnancy is a very yang state and labor/birth is about as yin as one can get. This massive pendulum swings so often leaves women out of balance that they prophylactically apply heated blankets to women immediately post-partum. It really does prevent the shakes and seems to bring them back... so they're clear and completely present.

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