here is me being paranoid again... - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-06-2007, 06:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well i tend to be a worried, but other people make me paranoid. or more paranoid. my mother makes me paranoid because she reminds me that i am a worrier. my sister says that she hopes i have a kid that has something like chronic ear infections or collic so that i will miss out on sleep like she did with her son. my midwife tells me this story about a baby she delivered that was born with all sorts of birth defects and didn't live, but had no genetic disorder, so it was a freak thing. (i believe it was supposed to be an interesting story about how there aren't always discernable reasons for things, but who tells a pregnant woman that?) i am constantly hearing about how everything cause birth defects. my house has been overrun by fleas and spiders and we had to treat the yard and house, and so i haven't been there in months because we have to keep treating it because they wont go away. i have been staying either with my mother or in mississippi where my husband works. that gives me more reasons for concern because in mississippi we live near a power plant (i figure that is dangerous) the city sprays for bugs outside our apartment all the time. when i was at the beach the other day they flew over and dropped out spray for deer flys or something. i guess you guys are getting the point that everything freaks me out. i would just like to have an ultrasound and see that the baby has two arms and legs and a head or whatever so i could quit worrying that it didn't. my midwife doesn't do ultrasounds until 28-32 weeks, and i sort of tried to let her know that i was worried but she didn't seem to get what i was saying and i didn't know how to be more forceful. So i guess that i have to keep waiting and trying to come up with ways not to worry. i know ultrasounds could give me more stuff to worry about, but i just worry about everything now i would rather have something more specific to worry about. i really just need to calm down. just wanted to vent...thanks.
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Old 08-06-2007, 07:16 PM
 
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I think the healthiest change you could make in this pregnancy is develop healthy friendships (LLL perhaps?) and limit the time you spend with your mother and sister. They sound pretty toxic to me.

~BV
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Old 08-06-2007, 07:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kehliouise View Post
my sister says that she hopes i have a kid that has something like chronic ear infections or collic so that i will miss out on sleep like she did with her son. my midwife tells me this story about a baby she delivered that was born with all sorts of birth defects and didn't live, but had no genetic disorder, so it was a freak thing.
:

As the mother of a child who had colic, I cannot believe your sister would say something like that to you...your sister needs to shut her cakehole. If she's resentful that she had a baby with colic, SHE needs to get herself some counseling to deal with HER issues, not take it out on you.

As a labor and delivery nurse, I cannot BELIEVE your midwife is telling you that crap. It's my RULE that I NEVER EVER EVER talk "shop" to my pregnant girlfriends or family members. EVER. I vent about things that happen at work to my 3 best girlfriends, 2 of whom happen to be nurses. I STILL don't talk about work to them at all when they are pregnant. I don't even tell them about good days, should some small thing upset them that I say. Your midwife needs to shut her cakehole.

If you're really really really worried, just flat out tell your midwife, "look, I'm having massive anxiety over this, your stories aren't helping, and I want you to do an ultrasound right now just to ease my mind a bit." Don't sort of try to let her know, come right out and say it. Write it down on a piece of paper word for word, and read from that piece of paper like a script if you have to.

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Old 08-06-2007, 07:59 PM
 
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Finch could I borrow you to come in to my life and tell a few people to shut their cakehole?

In all seriousness, I agree that letting people know their stories are not helpful right now is a good idea.

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Old 08-06-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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Finch could I borrow you to come in to my life and tell a few people to shut their cakehole?
Suuuuuuuuure. I can do that for ya. I'm evil like that.
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:38 PM
 
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I totally agree w/ Finch! I can't believe someone would wish rough baby issues upon a pregnant Mom, even jokingly!! And the midwife story is just over the top. Besides, I don't think it's entirely ethical to be discussing someone elses birth/childbirth/childbirth defect situations with other people. That would make me so sad if I were the Mother of the baby discussed, kwim??

When I get a little over-anxious I always remind myself of all the babies in BAD BAD situations that are still born healthy. I'm certain you are giving your baby the nutrition and avoiding the dangers that (unfortunately) thousands of pregnant Mothers are not giving their children.
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:54 PM
 
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Yah, Finch rocks. All cakeholes should cease talking, effective immediately.

Seriously, find your happy bubble. Put the walls up around yourself and don't let these people in. Pregnant women must give off some crazy pheremone that turns people into jabbering fools. Just tune em all out.


And I am so sorry your sister would say something like that to you. That was crappy.

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Old 08-06-2007, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yes my family tends to yap the cakehole too much but i'm used to that it just irritates me. i told me mother what my sister said and she called me sister to tell my sister that it hurt my feelings. which it didn't actually hurt my feelings as much as irritate me...now my sister says that she didn't say it and she is mad at both me and my mother for taking her out of context. i would love to tell them all to shut up and find a happy place without them, but i would miss out on too much that i need from them and as most people with nuerotic family members know it is never that easy as to just tell people how you feel and hope they respect it. i don't think i could get away from them if i wanted to. i just have found that telling them about my issues makes things worse that is why i get on here to vent because i love the support that all of you provide without actually being a part of my situation. thanks so much. i really appreciate it.
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:14 AM
 
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Wow, I can't believe how stupid and/or inconsiderate some people are. :

How about getting one of these? Or this one? Or, if you want to keep it simple, this one?

Mama with babyboy.gif (2005), babyboy.gif (2008) & babygirl.gif (2010)

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Old 08-07-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KittyTheCat View Post
How about getting one of these? Or this one? Or, if you want to keep it simple, this one?
Love 'em!!!!
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Old 08-07-2007, 12:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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those are great
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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I have to agree with all of the above posters. Even if you cant avoid family all together then maybe limiting your exposure and censoring what you tell them might help. Cakehole comments got me giggling!! Alot of people need to shut theirs!

Im sorry your family is adding stress and I agree about the happy bubble. Its really too bad that we are exposed to so many toxins with out consent in our society and I have to just let the stress go since there really isnt anything i can do about it. Easier said than done though. I am sending you peaceful vibes!
Angela
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Old 08-09-2007, 05:29 AM
 
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I am shocked that she would wish that upon you...that is awful...

i agree with op that you should get people around you that are more supportive and that can help you overcome what your going thru and not make it worse.

take care and hope you find that supportive crowd!

Momma to GG (dd - 14 yrs old), Active (ds - 10 yrs old), Toon (dd - 8 years old), Olive (ds - 5 years old), Princess (dd - 4 years old) and babyboy.gif Keemo (ds - 24 days old)

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