Anyone else feeling unprepared for L&D? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 12-14-2007, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't be the only one. I feel so unprepared! I desperately want a natural childbirth experience. I was at the hosp way too early with dd, had an IV, epidural and pit (UGH!) and hated it. Hated it!!!!

So, I have the motivation. I have the books. I have the time, but I can not for the life of me get into it. Dh has been super busy and his schedule frees up next week and we have set aside time to read together, talk, make a few CDs, visit the hosp, discuss major issues (circumcision, vax, etc.). But I feel sort of a mess about it all. Just tonight I started reading and it got me pretty worked up. I really really just want to focus on trusting myself, my body and the whole process.

Thankfully my Mom is part of my support team. She was there for dd's birth as well. She is a nurse and totally into a non-medical birth so I am confident about her support. She has been reading like a nut and talking with me about different things, inspirational thoughts and ways to reconceptualize the process.

I guess I'm just feeling done being pregnant, but not quite prepared for birth.....and being the person I am, being unprepared is stressful. Perhaps that is my issue and I should focus on the fact that by virtue of being fertile, I possess the ability to birth this child despite what society says.

OK, no more reading tonight

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#2 of 9 Old 12-14-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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Good luck. I decided to not go to the hospital after doing tons of reading! I just can't do it anymore. I have to trust myself and that is all you have to do no matter where you decide to have the baby.

Married to a Navy man of 12 yrs.

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#3 of 9 Old 12-14-2007, 02:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by leafwood View Post
I guess I'm just feeling done being pregnant, but not quite prepared for birth.....
Ya, that.

honestly, I don't know that I'll ever be "ready" for labor. I was just thinking this --- if you KNEW you had to go be tortured by terrorists for, eh, let's say 12 hours, could you ever really be "prepared" for it? No, of course not.

Basically, I know it's gonna happen, and I fully expect it to suck hard ass.
I'm open to the possibility that it will be one of these easy, less-painful births I read about...but since I have absolutely no personal frame of reference for that type of experience, I simply can't imagine it.

don't get me wrong, I'm not at all worried about the actual giving birth part...I fully expect the baby to come out with no intervention or complications, I fully believe that part is possible, that happened the first time.....
what I can't imagine is the experience being anything other than "please, dear god, please kill me now and end this torture" painful.

And I just don't know how to prepare for that??.. So what I have done is just accept it'll happen the way it happens, I'll get through it even if it is horrible, and then I'll have a baby.

CPST
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#4 of 9 Old 12-14-2007, 06:42 PM
 
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I had a similar first birth experience and desperately wanted a better, natural birth the second time around. I highly recommend Birthing From Within and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth as far as reading material.

Aside from that though, really with me I was sort of all over the place because I did not know what expect....it was the fear of the unknown that I let drive me a little batty. What worked in my favor though was my stubbornness. I just made up my mind that I was going to trust my body and trust in knowing that I am a strong woman who can and will birth this baby the way I choose to birth not the way another tries to choose for me. I had to remind myself of this several times a day some days but it worked.

I also waited a long time to go to the hospital...as in transition in the car, long time. Not that I would recommend transition in the car but I would wait as long as possible before actually entering the hospital doors if you feel like you don't have the proper support from your med. team as far as honoring your wishes.

When you only have a bad experience to base your thoughts on its perfectly normal and expected to feel apprehensive. But know that this time around, no matter what, will be a different birth. How it will be different is still to be determined but it will be different. You will not relive that first birth again.

Alicia mama to 3 boys 6 and under.
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#5 of 9 Old 12-14-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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I'm birthing at a hospital, but it's not a hospital experience. We don't have birth centers! So I found a midwife. Basically, she just has her clients deliver in the hospital without actually having to follow hospital policies. I get the birth I want... So I was lucky to find her!

Anyways, I'm a first timer and I'm not scared about having the baby. I'm not scared about anything really except the fact that I might have a weak moment when I want meds. I desperately want a natural birth. It means a whole lot to me, so when I think that I might give in I just remind myself of how important this actually is to me. I have a doula, I think her support is really going to be awesome, too... I am just excited

WANTED TO ADD--- Read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth!!!! IT IS SO INSPIRATIONAL!!

~*Have more than you show, speak less than you know*~

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#6 of 9 Old 12-14-2007, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by happymomma View Post
I highly recommend Birthing From Within and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth as far as reading material.
Thanks for the encouragement! These are the books I have, along with "thinking woman's guide" by Ina May. I guess it's normal to feel unprepared for such an experience and that's going to have to be OK

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#7 of 9 Old 12-15-2007, 01:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by leafwood View Post
Thanks for the encouragement! These are the books I have, along with "thinking woman's guide" by Ina May. )
Actually, that one's by Henci Goer, isn't it?

I like that one a lot.

CPST
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#8 of 9 Old 12-15-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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I'm having a homebirth, but I'm 38 weeks tomorrow, and haven't even begun assembling my birthkit. With my last HB, I read a new natural birth book every week. I'm hoping to squeeze in a quick re-reading of something Ina May, probably her Guide to Childbirth, between Christmas and "labor day."

I don't know why, but I do feel like I've procrastinated getting my mind ready for this labor...
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#9 of 9 Old 12-15-2007, 10:59 PM
 
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i felt prepared for my last birth..i mean not really prepared but confident...but this time i haven't really done that much to prepare, and the midwife just keeps saying, "you've done it before, your body knows what to do." but im starting to feel that i should have done something to prepare for this one too.
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