Are you planning for more children? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Or is this January baby your last?
We are planning for two more, tentatively. Always subject to change, I guess, but we know that we aren't finished. Luckily, DH and I have the same feelings about wanting a large family.

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#2 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:01 PM
 
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We sure are!

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#3 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:04 PM
 
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This is my third and likely last I'd love to have a fourth but was lucky to even convince dh to be open to a third! He's an amazing daddy but tends to worry about the kids to a point that he can't imagine worrying about a 4th! We'll see what the future brings... God's been the one to plan our family, not us!
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#4 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been noticing IRL that people often think 3 is the normal 'max' number of children. Ppl assume that you're done after 3 and are often surprised when I say "No, we're not finished."
I don't get it..

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#5 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mama2babybeans View Post
I've been noticing IRL that people often think 3 is the normal 'max' number of children. Ppl assume that you're done after 3 and are often surprised when I say "No, we're not finished."
I don't get it..
Or sometimes two. People soooo often assume since we have a boy and a girl that we're finished.

My favorite quote: If children are worth a million bucks, wouldn't you want more too?
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#6 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:43 PM
 
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We're done. We have two boys and this is a girl. We weren't trying for a girl (weren't "trying" at all though ) but I just feel like I'm done. In a perfect world I'd love to have one or two more, but logically this is it for us.

Mama to two boys and a girl.
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#7 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by ShannaW View Post
Or sometimes two. People soooo often assume since we have a boy and a girl that we're finished.

My favorite quote: If children are worth a million bucks, wouldn't you want more too?
Oh, that's true. We had a boy and then a girl and I got so many of the "perfect family" comments from people who thought now we had a complete family.
Strange concept, I suppose. It's so subjective.

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#8 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:47 PM
 
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We are undecided. I'd like 1 more, and DH wants to be done, but wouldn't refuse me something so important. BUT, this pregnancy has taken so much out of me. I don't know if my body could handle another one. So we're not making any decisions until this baby is 3. I wouldn't want another one before then anyway. (But would probably be giddy if it just "happened" to us! )

DD is not an incredibly healthy girl, though she's having fantastic results with homeopathy. If this next child also suffers from health issues, then we definitely won't try for another one, out of consideration to that non-existant child. It would appear that my body just isn't healthy enough to produce healthy children if this happens again. Isn't it weird that we consider the "feelings" of children that don't even exist?

BUT, it *is* a little sad to think that this one might be our last baby. I think the blow is softened quite a bit since there is the possibility of a third in our future.
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#9 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 08:58 PM
 
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We're done. We have two boys and this is a girl. We weren't trying for a girl (weren't "trying" at all though ) but I just feel like I'm done. In a perfect world I'd love to have one or two more, but logically this is it for us.
yes. that. exactly.

Mama to four ('03, '05, '08 & '11) chicken3.gif
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#10 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 09:26 PM
 
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I am feeling done. We have a 3y old dd and this baby will make #2 and I am OK with that.

Happy Mommy to one amazing girl (6y) and one sweet boy (2y), and wife to DH since 7/03 : :
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#11 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 09:29 PM
 
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well since im going to get like 20 IUD's after baby is born its probably our last for a good long while. she wasn't really planned (at all.at all)..neither was my sweet dd (well, kinda.. i wanted her SO BAD!)..or her lovely brother (pregnant our first time..ahem..). we are just so GOOD at making babies so yeah..3 under 5 is good and im happy and in love with each of them but i think i need a good long break from being either pregnant or nursing after this.. plus, i want to go back to school (homeopathy and acupuncture) and its going to take some major $$ and time.. so yeah.

 

 

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#12 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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My partner and I talk about this a lot. We're very concerned about environmental impacts (and other variables, although that's the big one we talk about most), so he'd prefer a max of two.

I originally thought I wanted three, but who knows how that will change. My first babe isn't even Earth-side yet, and I'm open to feeling differently.

I didn't really dig being an only child that much, so I'd like to at least have two.

Have you seen the updated user agreement yet?
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#13 of 35 Old 12-30-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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This is our last. I had to convince DH to let me have a third and three was what I always wanted anyway.
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#14 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 01:09 AM
 
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This is our third baby and the last one that I will birth. My dh has a vasectomy scheduled for Thursday. However, we do plan to adopt a girl in a few years.
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#15 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 01:18 AM
 
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This is our 3rd, and I'm not sure if we're done. I always thought 4 would be a nice number, but I'm reserving judgement for a while. I would like to be done having children by 35, though (I'm 32 now).

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#16 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 01:22 AM
 
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We are done for sure. DH will be scheduling his vastectomy soon.
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#17 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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We are done as well. Unless someone wants to drop a babe off that is. Dh is getting fixed soon.

Alicia mama to 3 boys 6 and under.
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#18 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 02:15 AM
 
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We are undecided. I like the dynamic of having three children, but we feel the pull to stop at two for various reasons (limited energy, time, financial resources, our own health issues that flare up from time to time, a desire to return some time and energy to our own creative interests). I think we should just take it one baby at a time, though I am aware that this may be it for us. Sniff.

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#19 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 03:12 AM
 
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We are done. DH only wanted 1, then when 1 turned 1, he wanted 1 more.. when she was born, 1 more was all he wanted. We had him and then it was 1 more in a few years. He turned 1 and it was okay, maybe not in a few years lol...

I on the other hand wanted 7 to begin with but after #3, I said I think 1 more is all I want. This is 1 more and I feel at peace with our family size. I think 4 is right for us and it just feels complete. I know that in 10 years if I change my mind, we can always adopt.

DH is getting snipped when we get our income tax return lol. but I worry he thinks we arent done lol. He says we are done but he says that after every child and hes been "joking" about wanting another after this baby lol.. but Im sooo done lol
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#20 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 03:21 AM
 
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were 'tentatively' done. DH only wanted 2, I want a 3rd, possibly a 4th. Our girls will be 14 months apart and were a little exhausted so we know that if we consider another it'll be years away. We've agreed to do no permanent birth control (vasectomy, tubals, etc) in the meantime. I guess were waiting to see where our lives take us.
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#21 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 03:51 AM
 
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This is our first, but not our last. DH has 2 DS from a previous marriage, so he could be done, but he would REALLY love a daughter. We will probably only have one more after this. The most I would likely go is 3, and if they are all boys, oh well...we're not going to keep going just to get a girl.
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#22 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 05:00 AM
 
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I hope and pray that this little one is not our last.....we both are so thankful for the two we have with us.....we have lost four. I have always wanted a big family, always! I can't imagine ever not having the baby bug
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#23 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 12:17 PM
 
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This is our third and may be our last. Not sure. We'll wait and see how life as a family of 5 works for us.

Frugal, food growing mama to my four loves

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#24 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 02:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by my kidlets and me View Post
This is our 3rd, and I'm not sure if we're done. I always thought 4 would be a nice number, but I'm reserving judgement for a while. I would like to be done having children by 35, though (I'm 32 now).

That was my/our original plan too, but seeing that I'll be turning 34 a few weeks after this baby, either the plan will have to go out the window or more children will. I definately don't want them much closer then 2 yrs.

I'm lucky to have a husband who has a major baby bug and would LOVE to have more children, but he always qualifies it seeing that it's totally up to me as I'm the one to carry and care for him/her.

Although I must have been a pretty good B*^#H this pregnancy b/c there have been more then a few times he's told me he didn't think he could handle me through another pregnancy
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#25 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 02:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ollineeba View Post
I've been noticing IRL that people often think 3 is the normal 'max' number of children. Ppl assume that you're done after 3 and are often surprised when I say "No, we're not finished."
I don't get it..
We get this a lot too! We actually like our kids and want more!!

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#26 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 03:07 PM
 
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I'd love to have more; at least two more. But, for various reasons, I think this one, #2, is it for us.

Financially, we're not really stable. We can't afford a bigger house, nor can we afford to renovate our existing home, and we really just can't fit any more people in it. Also, I'm 31, now, and if we were going to have any more children, it wouldn't be for another few years (3-4 at least), which would put me much closer to that magical 35, where you're not "allowed" to birth at home....not that we can afford another homebirth anway We can barely afford the two we've had.

So, for mostly financial reasons (which totally suck), I think we're done.

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#27 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 04:29 PM
 
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i think we'll just have two. there are lots of reasons to keep it at two that we could work around: time, money, exhaustion... but those all pass. we're also concerned about our environmental impact, and that's harder to negotiate.

the plan has been for dp to get a vasectomy soon, but we just found out our insurance doesn't cover vasectomies. in a year or two we can switch providers, and just do natural family planning until then. we've had lots of jokes lately about having more than two, i think there is a small part of both of us that is open to having more children, but we both work with kids, usually kids who are very needy and require a lot of our time and attention, so we'll have many, many chances to nurture young people throughout our future.
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#28 of 35 Old 12-31-2007, 05:00 PM
 
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We are probably done, with this one (#4), but nothing definite. DH would really like a son. If we could guarantee to have a boy, he would defiantly agree to another, but with our luck we will end up with 10 girls

So we will have to see.

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#29 of 35 Old 01-01-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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I would have 100 more if I could (not kidding!) but DH, on the other hand, would be happy with the four we are about to have. My guess, though, is we'll have at least a couple more.
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#30 of 35 Old 01-01-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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I would have 100 more if I could (not kidding!) ....
Really??? I wish I could have the CONFIDENCE and ENERGY to be a mother to a gaggle. Did you grow up in a large family?

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