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-   January 2008 (http://www.mothering.com/forum/407-january-2008/)
-   -   Postpartum mood (http://www.mothering.com/forum/407-january-2008/849249-postpartum-mood.html)

Surfacing 02-17-2008 03:38 AM

Hi Mamas,

I'm coming online right now as a way to coast through these waves between anxiety/panic. For some reason I have a mega large anxiety or panic attack lapping at my heels. I think the lack of sleep is catching up with me. Dh has been sick with bronchitis, and I am sick with a sore throat and ear. Dd1 was also sick. This is so strange, I haven't had a mega attack like this in a looong time. I guess I have been feeling stressed with so much housework piled up, sick family members, babies who need me, pressure to do chores and other things to help dh who has been down....

Must go, dh wants to talk. How are others doing with postpartum mood? I have otherwise been doing great thanks to my SSRI. I think I'll call my pdoc on Monday.

Peacemamalove 02-17-2008 12:11 PM

Hope your feeling better soon. Have you tried some Rescue Remedy for the panic attacks ?? Works well for me..

Things will get better just take a deep breath and only focus on right now this very moments and not everything you "HAVE" to do ...

Sometimes some relaxing music helps to calm things down too.

Take care mama!!

kehliouise 02-17-2008 09:33 PM

I'm sorry that you guys are sick...i don't know what i would do if everyone around here was sick. This morning I woke up feeling like I might be getting sick, so I'm uping the vitamin C. Hopefully that will help.

About a week ago i was definitly feeling anxiety. Dh even said he noticed that i was a little depressed. I think it was from lack of sleep and hormones still adjusting. I went home to visit my mother for a week though and i'm back home now and feeling a lot better. I'm not nearly as melancoly. And i feel like the anxiety is at bay. I just constantly worry about the baby. I cried all day the other day after watching Charlotte's Web. I can't really explain what that has to do with worrying about the baby, but it made sense to me at the time. I also worry about ds#1 not ever liking his little brother. I worry that they will never be close and that it will never be the perfect little family I had in my head. I worry ds#2 isn't sleeping enough or that he is sleeping to much. You get the idea. I'm have all these constant worries and it makes me on the verge of break down constantly.

I hope that you find a break soon, or something that helps you. I know panic attacks can be terrible. I'll be thinking of you.

Surfacing 02-18-2008 01:44 AM

Zahirakids - yes, focusing on the moment, where you are now, and what's happening is a good way to get oriented, realize you are safe, etc. I actually did some self-talk and talked with dh going over the exercises (from memory ) from my panic attack workbook. I named the three most distressing physical sensations I was having, went through a relaxation script (again from memory ) to remind myself that just because I feel alarmed doesn't mean anything terrible is happening. It's just a panic attack, it'll pass. I talked with dh about the things that have been stressing me and realized I felt like I had to "do it all".

I feel better today after having had some more rest. Dh is starting to feel better from his bronchitis and this morning we did some housecleaning together. That made me feel better. I also reflected and said to myself, I don't have to take it ALL on.

My dreams for several nights have been overwhelmed and like I feel overly responsible for things. Gotta do some self care and RELAX. I'm going to get a massage tomorrow.

Part of it is all this clutter from so much kid stuff in our little space, plus dishes, chores, etc. Since we've been sick it's all been piling up. I can only do so much with a newborn and bfing etc. Poor dh has been sick on and off for 3 wks, working his butt off, helping tons with the older dd, and then there's the grieving. My mom offered to have my dd1 sleep over so we could get a chance to heal and rest. Bless her! We took her up on it last night.

In terms of the housework, today we were starting to chip away at it. I think I'm going to have to get a black garbage bag and start culling dd1's toy stash, and donate some stuff to charity. Either that or put some away, to be taken out later to rotate the toys. Something needs to be done. I am also overwhelmed by the thought of keeping up with the house cleaning. We had a cleaning lady once a week or two ago. If it was something we could afford $ more often, I'd do it. Must sit down and see if it fits into the budget.

That's another thing - finances. There's a bit of a delay before my maternity leave benefits start so we're really really really really tight on cash right now. Take a deep breath girl........and relax.......... Things are looking up.

As for the rescue remedy, I use it sometimes, but this panic attack was like a 9/10 on the richter scale. It really startled me because it was SO intense...well it was the beginnings of it anyway.

kehliouise - It's good to hear that you felt a bit better after visiting your mother. I think many of us here can relate to worrying about their kids fitting well together, getting along, etc. Sounds like you are worried all the time. I felt that way for the first two years of dd1's life! It's exhausting to second guess yourself all the time and feel a lack of self confidence. Does your dh know how you feel? Does your mom support you? Have you ever gone for counselling for anxiety?

kehliouise 02-18-2008 02:23 AM

It sounds like you have had a lot to do and you probably have been doing it all! I feel that way during the week, well actually every day but Sunday. Dh leaves for work before we get up and comes home around seven. So I mostly feel like I do everything except for the little bit dh helps with during the three hours he is there at night.

I think that is why I felt much better after going to my mother's. I was not as isolated, and therefore I had more help. I was visited a lot by friends and family that wanted to see the baby so I had lots of company and help. I'm worried that being back at home this week alone with the boys all the time and with no help will put me back to where I was before. I should get out more but it is such a chore to get them loaded in the car and take them somewher by myself.

I think you definitely should hire a cleaning person if you can fit it in your budget. I really want to do this too, but like you we are needing to save money right now. I'm hoping we will have extra money soon.

Dh does know how I have been feeling but he isn't the best at talking about feelings. He is getting better though. I talked to my mother about it but she just said not to worry that it was normal and that evetthing was just my hormones. I agree that to some degree this is normal but I feel that extra support would help. I have never been to counseling. I asked to as a teenager but my parents brushed the whole thing off. My mother is a cronic worrier so she sees it as normal.

ollineeba 02-18-2008 12:00 PM


I've been dealing with some ppd. DH keeps asking what he can do for me, but he doesn't realize it's not that simple..
emese'smom- hope your anxiety subsides

riverundine 02-18-2008 05:33 PM

sending you love and strength and balance and peace :

Surfacing 02-19-2008 06:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollineeba View Post

I've been dealing with some ppd. DH keeps asking what he can do for me, but he doesn't realize it's not that simple..
emese'smom- hope your anxiety subsides
Thanks! Do you have any support for the PPD?

Kehliouise -

You too Riverundine

Tonight I've had a flare up of some panicy feelings again. So weird! Oh well, off to do some self-care stuff.

pinkshamrocks 02-19-2008 08:06 AM

(((hugs))) to all of our Mamas struggling with ppd feelings.

ollineeba 02-19-2008 01:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emese'sMom View Post
Thanks! Do you have any support for the PPD?
My mom and my DH are trying to help out as much as possible.
I'm not taking anything for it right now. My mw offered Zoloft, which I may take her up on at some point, since she says it's compatible with bfing. I don't know.

I was about to say just take it one day at a time, but I think it's more like one hour at a time, huh?
I hope you're getting plenty of rest.

Surfacing 02-21-2008 02:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ollineeba View Post
My mom and my DH are trying to help out as much as possible. I'm not taking anything for it right now. My mw offered Zoloft, which I may take her up on at some point, since she says it's compatible with bfing. I don't know. I was about to say just take it one day at a time, but I think it's more like one hour at a time, huh? I hope you're getting plenty of rest.
I hope things improve for you soon. Yep, sometimes it's take it one hour at a time.

Things seem to be improving some over here. I am using this time (when my mom keeps taking dd1 everyday so I am home alone with dd2) to start to declutter some. I am hoping that it will make it easier to keep things clean (like keep up with dusting - bleh!) and help my mental space to see things more orderly and in control. Just need to make rest more of a priority - I get rest and then I feel good, so then I overdo it.

This time has given me some insight on how my anxiety prob limits me or, I guess more clearly I should say shows me where my limits are. Yes, I like putting it that way better.


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