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#1 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i haven't visited this site: http://www.theshapeofamother.com/ in a long time, but i've been surfing it this morning for a healthy dose of perspective.

the shape of my own body is on my mind a lot lately. i'm torn between loving it for the amazing things it's done and does (nak, for instance, ALWAYS nak), and wanting to push it into something else.

i'm close to my pre-preg weight (which was chubby to begin w/), but everything is distributed into different places. my hips are definitely the hips of a mother. i have stretch marks on my tummy that i've never had before, and they didn't turn up until just a few weeks ago. are they mine for good? they don't bother me, but i'm curious.

how's everyone feeling about their post partum bod?
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#2 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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i can be sort of excited the whole pregnancy about not having gained as much weight as i did with ds#1, but then right in the last month i gained 20 pounds. so now i'm a little disappointed that i have so much weight to loose. i also didn't loose as much with my delivery as i did with ds#1. i lost 30 pounds just giving birth to ds#1. i'm assuming most of it was just water. this time i only lost 15 or 20. so now i'm looking at having to loose 40 pounds to get back to where i want to be. i'd settle for 30 though. i also didn't expect to get more stretch marks this time. i had just come to terms with my old ones and now i have twice as many even though i didn't get quite as big as i did last time. my whole stomach is riddled with them...and no i don't guess they ever go away. i'll just have to get used to these too.

i know exactly how you feel though. i want to be very proud of my body and all of its accomplishments and i'm ashamed of myself for not appreciating it more and i'm mad that i live in a culture that makes me feel like i should starve myself and get a tummy tuck. i want to celebrate my body.
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#3 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 03:40 PM
 
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[QUOTE=kehliouise;10579570

i know exactly how you feel though. i want to be very proud of my body and all of its accomplishments and i'm ashamed of myself for not appreciating it more and i'm mad that i live in a culture that makes me feel like i should starve myself and get a tummy tuck. i want to celebrate my body.[/QUOTE]


yes!

i have to lose my 30 lbs, but i am so proud of my body and all my baby marks

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#4 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 03:56 PM
 
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I don't even feel like I have the right to worry about how I look or getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight so long as I'm BFing. Anyone else feel that way?

Have you seen the updated user agreement yet?
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#5 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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Honestly the only thing I am worried about is my c-section scar. and how bad that will be. I don't worry about the weight because I am breastfeeding although I know that I am losing alot of weight becauseof it and I didn't really gain any wieght in the first place.
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#6 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 09:41 PM
 
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I don't even feel like I have the right to worry about how I look or getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight so long as I'm BFing. Anyone else feel that way?
Yeah, I do feel that way right now. It is not even an issue really, I am just eating good vegetarian food, and yesterday I started exercising again...but not to lose weight, not even worried about it. My body is what it is and I am really not bothered by it at all, it is so functional right now. Bf is much more important to me than my extra weight. I was just telling dh yesterday that as long as I am bf an infant, losing a bunch of weight is not a priority at all, not my focus. but for some women it is important.

I bf dd for 3 years, weaned when I got pregnant with ds, so somewhere along the road I will want to try to lose some weight. I never got back to my prepregnacy weight after dd, and I am okay with that. I may or may not ever get back there, but I am a mother now, a bf mother at that, and things do indeed change. Dh loves me at any weight, that I know. I prefer to focus on health, rather than weight. I have become much more accepting of my body as it is after becoming a mother.

Note to self: I need a more supportive exercise bra! ouch!

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#7 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I do feel that way right now. It is not even an issue really, I am just eating good vegetarian food, and yesterday I started exercising again...but not to lose weight, not even worried about it. My body is what it is and I am really not bothered by it at all, it is so functional right now. Bf is much more important to me than my extra weight. I was just telling dh yesterday that as long as I am bf an infant, losing a bunch of weight is not a priority at all, not my focus. but for some women it is important.

I bf dd for 3 years, weaned when I got pregnant with ds, so somewhere along the road I will want to try to lose some weight. I never got back to my prepregnacy weight after dd, and I am okay with that. I may or may not ever get back there, but I am a mother now, a bf mother at that, and things do indeed change. Dh loves me at any weight, that I know. I prefer to focus on health, rather than weight. I have become much more accepting of my body as it is after becoming a mother.

Note to self: I need a more supportive exercise bra! ouch!

yeah, i think focusing on healthy habits is key. i don't think anyone, esp a nursing mother, should be unecessarily restricting their diet. the babes need our calories! i burn lots of calories with breastfeeding, but i've seen here that's not true for everyone. breastfeding also gives me an insatiable sweet tooth. i let it run rampant w/ my first, but this time i feel that eliminating sugar from my diet is the only way to beat this thrush.

personally, what i'm really concerned about are my breasts. they were d cups long before i started procreating, and now...........yikes. i lovelovelove that they nourish my baby. i don't care so much for how they look, and i really don't like how they feel (back pain, breast pain w/ exercising, etc). i need to find a way to make peace w/ them.
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#8 of 25 Old 02-19-2008, 10:34 PM
 
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I.can't.stand.my.body postpartum.

I know, from experience that the weight will come off but I hate the saggy skin and that everything is all re-distributed and that my clothes don't fit right. It's depressing because I can't even find time to work out to tone my body not to mention that there are simply no bras out there for a woman with breasts my size--much less nursing bras. I'm just flab, flab, and more flab.

I mourn for my pre-baby body. It was really nice and I didn't appreciate it enough. I'm happy to have my babies, so blessed. The price to have them meant losing my figure. Not too high a price to pay and I'd do it all over again.

Stay-at-home mom to 2 beautiful.busy.boisterous boys b. 08.17.05 & 12.29.08
Nirvana is . . . the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. --Gandhi
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#9 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 12:06 AM
 
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The price to have them meant losing my figure. Not too high a price to pay and I'd do it all over again.
:

I look back at photos from the years before I had dd, when I was in great shape. I look at the photo in my kitchen of me finishing my 1st (and only, so far ) marathon.

And I think, "Wow, I had a great body, I was is such amazing shape" And I am not in amazing shape anymore. I don't have the time to be in amazing shape like I was before I had kids. That is not where I am mentally anymore.

I'd give that body up in a heartbeat all over again for my kids...

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#10 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kehliouise View Post
i know exactly how you feel though. i want to be very proud of my body and all of its accomplishments and i'm ashamed of myself for not appreciating it more and i'm mad that i live in a culture that makes me feel like i should starve myself and get a tummy tuck. i want to celebrate my body.


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yeah, i think focusing on healthy habits is key. i don't think anyone, esp a nursing mother, should be unecessarily restricting their diet. the babes need our calories! i burn lots of calories with breastfeeding, but i've seen here that's not true for everyone. [...]personally, what i'm really concerned about are my breasts. they were d cups long before i started procreating, and now...........yikes. i lovelovelove that they nourish my baby. i don't care so much for how they look, and i really don't like how they feel (back pain, breast pain w/ exercising, etc). i need to find a way to make peace w/ them.
I tend to keep weight on or even gain while lactating. And my boobs went from perky to big & floppy. After weaning pumping for dd1 they looked like deflated milkbags. I love them when lactating but when it's over...:

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I'm just flab, flab, and more flab. I mourn for my pre-baby body. It was really nice and I didn't appreciate it enough. I'm happy to have my babies, so blessed. The price to have them meant losing my figure. Not too high a price to pay and I'd do it all over again.


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I look back at photos from the years before I had dd, when I was in great shape. I look at the photo in my kitchen of me finishing my 1st (and only, so far ) marathon. And I think, "Wow, I had a great body, I was is such amazing shape" And I am not in amazing shape anymore. I don't have the time to be in amazing shape like I was before I had kids. That is not where I am mentally anymore. I'd give that body up in a heartbeat all over again for my kids...
I danced for 25 years before having kids & KWYM. Though I wish I could have my strong body back but THERE'S NO TIME. Priorities change.

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#11 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 12:13 PM
 
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i love curves, but not the one on my belly that makes me look 6 months pregnant. i started back on weigfht watchers yesterday. i'm hoping to start back at the ymca next week. most of my weight is around the middle, which i know is the most unsafe place to carry weight, heath-wise.

my mom was overweight when i was growing up & had a gastric bypass a few years ago. i'm just scared of it getting that bad ... even though i'm only 20-25 pounds from my ideal weight right now, i need to be watchful.

another thing that sort of bugs me is stretchc marks! i didn't get any with my first two, but ended up wwith a bunch the last couple weeks this time.

they're of the red streaky variety - will they lighten up a bit? i'm not a bikini mama anyway, but they're pretty ugly. i know some people like them, but i'm not one of them, lol.

Jenn, wife to John
Mama to Kayleigh (6), Ethan (4), Norah (1), & Charlotte coming 11.09
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#12 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 12:54 PM
 
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they're of the red streaky variety - will they lighten up a bit? i'm not a bikini mama anyway, but they're pretty ugly. i know some people like them, but i'm not one of them, lol.
Yep! They'll turn pale, like scars. Well, I guess they are scars, technically. If you have pale skin, they usually blend right in. I know this from puberty stretch marks. Boy, those were fun.

I hear Weight Watchers has a program for nursing moms. Anyone know anything about that? I'm interested.

Have you seen the updated user agreement yet?
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#13 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 01:00 PM
 
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I don't know if I should even post here... :

I was within 5 lbs of my prepregnancy weight at 2 weeks pp..and somewhat fitting into my prepregnancy jeans (just a roll of fat/skin hanging over the waist that wasn't there before. But I got some ugly stretch marks on my breasts and they feel saggier. My mom blessed me with some wonderful genetics, so overall I'm not unhappy with my new body...just...irritated.

Andrea...wife, SAHM to 3.5 yo DS and 1 yo DD.

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#14 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 05:11 PM
 
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i went to weight watchers after ds#1 and that is how i got back to my prepregnancy weight. i didn't start going until he was about six or more months old though. the program for nursing mothers is basically just like the regular program you just get 10 more points per day to eat. i was basically eating a ton. i remember being at the end of the day and not having eaten all my points so stuffing my face before i went to bed. i like weight watchers...i went in college when i gained 50 pounds my sophmore year and i lost all that weight then quit going when i was pregnant with ds#1...after his birth i weighed 170 lbs after weight watchers i weighed 128...i did gain some of that back though before i got pregnant again. i think that it worked for me because it made me conscious of what i was eating and helped me make good decisions nutrition wise. it also encouraged me to excersise. most people there though eat a lot of food that is lower in calories or fat and lots of that food has artificial sweetners and other chemicals and stuff that i don't like to ingest. i also think that fat in food isn't a bad thing as long as it is good fat. so i have to remember this when i'm doing weight watchers and think how easy it would be to just eat a microwave meal.
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#15 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 07:31 PM
 
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i love curves, but not the one on my belly that makes me look 6 months pregnant.
:::

I hear you on that one. I am still wearing maternity clothes and they fit fine. Hardly cute.

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Nirvana is . . . the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. --Gandhi
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#16 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 07:38 PM
 
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I'm 2 months pp and I haven't lost any weight since 2 weeks pp. I have about 20-30lbs left to lose. And I'm tandem- nursing. This weight should be falling off like crazy...
BUT NOOOO :
I liked my body pre=baby (both times) and I liked my body while pregnant, postpartum, that sucks.
It gets better though. My breasts will never be the same, but at least I know my tummy will get flatter one day.

I love that website, it does help me feel better about my body. Its coming aqlong slowly

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#17 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 09:31 PM
 
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4 weeks PP here . . . interesting topic! I am within 10 pounds of my PP weight and other than the poochy stomach, look back to my skinny self. However, I notice that my arms are suffering from a lack of working out during the last 7 months of pregnancy! For me, my baby is my badge of honor, not my stomach. I feel better when I'm in shape and toned, so I'm excited to get back to working out. I'm not "happy" with my body right now but I'm not upset with it either, if that makes sense. I know it just IS right now and won't always be so soft because I'll work on it.

I guess the most frustration right now is what to wear . . . I can wear one pair of PP jeans but not the others. How long will it take me to get back into them . . . is it worth it to buy new jeans? I guess that's where I am right now.

Wife to my Denali-climbing DH
Mom to DD born Jan. 08 and DS born Oct. 09, and "baby sister" due Oct 2013!
House mom to ten boys, ages 8-11 at a group home! Yes, I must be nuts!
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#18 of 25 Old 02-20-2008, 11:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rootzdawta View Post
I.can't.stand.my.body postpartum.

I know, from experience that the weight will come off but I hate the saggy skin and that everything is all re-distributed and that my clothes don't fit right. It's depressing because I can't even find time to work out to tone my body not to mention that there are simply no bras out there for a woman with breasts my size--much less nursing bras. I'm just flab, flab, and more flab.

I mourn for my pre-baby body. It was really nice and I didn't appreciate it enough. I'm happy to have my babies, so blessed. The price to have them meant losing my figure. Not too high a price to pay and I'd do it all over again.
couldn't have said it better myself. I am thoroughly disgusted with how I look. I hate not having time to exercise or the money to join the gym to exercise in with childcare. I hate not having clothing that fits or feeling like I look good. I hate looking at my size 6 jeans and crying when I can't pull them up. I love my daughters and I dont' want them growing up hating their bodies too. I just can't seem to find the will to love this body.

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#19 of 25 Old 02-21-2008, 10:26 AM
 
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I love my daughters and I dont' want them growing up hating their bodies too. I just can't seem to find the will to love this body.
Yes . . . I'm almost grateful that I don't have any little girls I have to set an example for.

It's very frustrating. I wish there were some kind of blueprint for finding love for your body.

Stay-at-home mom to 2 beautiful.busy.boisterous boys b. 08.17.05 & 12.29.08
Nirvana is . . . the living happiness of a soul which is conscious of itself and conscious of having found its own abode in the heart of the Eternal. --Gandhi
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#20 of 25 Old 02-24-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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I hear Weight Watchers has a program for nursing moms. Anyone know anything about that? I'm interested.
WW is a great program for nursing moms. I have used it to lose weight after my other two babies were born. I lost weight slowly and never had a decrease in my milk supply. The trick is to lose the weight slowly, eat lots of nutrient dense foods and be patient.

Frugal, food growing mama to my four loves

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#21 of 25 Old 02-27-2008, 03:21 PM
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I often remind myself that my body made 2 amazing, healthy, people so give it a little slack.
I will never have a skiny teenager's body again, and it's actually rather freeing to realize that you don't have to keep trying to look like someone else.

Plus, the sling hides it all, and nobody is looking at my body behind my cute baby.
g.

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#22 of 25 Old 02-27-2008, 06:30 PM
 
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I often remind myself that my body made 2 amazing, healthy, people so give it a little slack.
I will never have a skiny teenager's body again, and it's actually rather freeing to realize that you don't have to keep trying to look like someone else.

Plus, the sling hides it all, and nobody is looking at my body behind my cute baby.
g.

I actually have people telling me I look like I lost alot of weight when I'm wearing my sling

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#23 of 25 Old 02-27-2008, 07:59 PM
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I actually have people telling me I look like I lost alot of weight when I'm wearing my sling
Maybe they mean a lot of weight compared to 2 or 3 months ago!
Slings have their perks!
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#24 of 25 Old 02-28-2008, 06:35 PM
 
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i like to think of my stretch marks, which are many, as my road map to motherhood. i had a wonderful massage therapist once say, "beautiful tiger stripes," and really mean it.
but as much as i'd love to love them, i don't. i try. but i don't. i'm more okay with the stretch marks than i am with the saggy pooch, though. there's no going back for the pooch, which is frustrating.
i truly wish our society found the mother afterbelly, not just the maiden belly, super sexy!
i am in a book that will soon be published that is entitled, ode to the afterbelly. it is a photographer's gift to his wife, in appreciation of the afterbelly. she was distraught over her new "look" so he decided to photograph tons of mamabellies in a beautiful and artistic way. the weblink made me think of it. initially i was photographed after my first m/c, then again after laurel was born. i haven't seen the pics, but somehow the idea of looking at the photos of my belly in a book surrounded by other mamabellies that honors the afterbelly is much more appealing than looking in the mirror. which sucks.

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#25 of 25 Old 02-28-2008, 09:34 PM
 
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I often remind myself that my body made 2 amazing, healthy, people so give it a little slack. I will never have a skiny teenager's body again, and it's actually rather freeing to realize that you don't have to keep trying to look like someone else.


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i like to think of my stretch marks, which are many, as my road map to motherhood. i had a wonderful massage therapist once say, "beautiful tiger stripes," and really mean it.
[...] i truly wish our society found the mother afterbelly, not just the maiden belly, super sexy!
i am in a book that will soon be published that is entitled, ode to the afterbelly. it is a photographer's gift to his wife, in appreciation of the afterbelly.
Tiger stripes? Book of afterbellies? So freakin' cool!!! I would love to see that book. Title...?

Thank goodness there are mature men out there who appreciate a Mother's body -- the way it looks when you DON'T have personal trainers and cooks like the celebrities. Real men loving real bodies. Let me tell you, my mother is as wide as a barn door and the milk bags are south, past the equator but my father still chases after her DAILY!!!

wash.gif  Me  + bikenew.gif Dh =  broc1.gif  Dd1(9 yrs) + hearts.gif  Dd2(6 yrs) and blowkiss.gif Ds(3.5 yrs)
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