Calling all Feb. Homebirthers - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-01-2007, 01:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone planning a homebirth or repeat homebirth?

Planning our 2nd home water birth. Can't imagine ever going back after that last glorious experience. It was amazing. My DH and I caught and brought the baby up out of the water. My best friend took an amazing picture of the whole thing. Which totally off the sub. Anyone in the North Tx area should check her out. She is an amazing, reasonably priced Birth and NB photographer. Check out her site, www.flickr.com/photos/theoneandonlylynsey/
check out page 6 under the caption The home waterbirth of Krisalyn Elise Rose

Just trying to find a new midwife. I've contacted a few. my new insurance isn't so great with HB coverage but I refuse to go to the Hospital. I'll work out the cost later. It's so worth it.

Laurie, wife to James, mom to 3 girls: 8,5 & 4 and 1 handsome boy,2: planning May 2010
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Old 06-01-2007, 02:01 AM
 
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I'm planning my fourth homebirth and my first UC. I can't even imagine having a hospital birth.

I'm a bit nervous about the logistics of the UC because I'm a single mama but I do have an adult daughter so I'm sure we'll figure something out. She was at her brother's birth when she was 2 years and 9 months old and she was wonderful then.
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Old 06-01-2007, 03:36 AM
 
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Yep. There is little short of blood or prematurity that would get me to birth in a hospital. All of mine (including my 24-week stillbirth) were born at home. I'm now living on the other side of the country and they aren't so hot on homebirths, so I may be having a deliberate "whoops, that was fast." I have great hopes for my new midwife though- haven't met her yet, but we spoke on the phone after I lost the twins and she sounded more gutted that I was I get the impression that she really likes doing homebirths.
I'm going to the doctors today to get the ball rolling on antenatal care, so we'll see how that goes.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-01-2007, 10:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I will be praying for you flapjack. All of my losses have been really early, and were very hard emotionaly. I can't imagine getting to 12 weeks, having heard or seen the heartbeat and then have such a devastating blow.

Lots of Sticky vibes for you!

Laurie, wife to James, mom to 3 girls: 8,5 & 4 and 1 handsome boy,2: planning May 2010
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Old 06-01-2007, 10:29 AM
 
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I fully plan on having a homebirth after having 2 hospital births. Weirdly the first one had the most interventions and was the most empowering while the second had less and I was most traumatized. But the staff the second time were a bit brutal with me....Anyway...I just found out that I qualify for state assistance healthcare that would pay for a homebirth, whereas my supposed great insurance from my dh's work won't. So I am actually going to be able to afford it, yay!
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Old 06-01-2007, 11:03 AM
 
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Maybe. I need to do some thinking on it.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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Old 06-01-2007, 11:37 AM
 
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Laurie, we don't normally do first trimester scans over here- just one at 12 weeks and one at 20. The first I knew of the twins was when I started labouring again 24 hours after Brighid was born...
The good news is that I have a referral to a community midwife, my blood pressure is down on my last pregnancy, and as long as I'm still pregnant in two weeks time, my GP will refer me to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a scan. The bad news is that I forgot to lie about my dates, gave her my actual LMP (the NHS doesn't believe in newfangled ideas like fertility awareness) and so I now have a January due date Let's hope that the sonographer manages to be inaccurate in the right direction. Right now I feel very nurtured though.
Oh, and all of this is covered by the NHS, btw. We don't get nice details like beta tests and scans at every appointment, but my midwives have always been fantastic and the support post-birth is pretty great as well.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-01-2007, 04:37 PM
 
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I am so excited to be having this baby at home. Our first was a hospital birth. It was supposed to be with a MW but I was booted at 35 weeks so it was her back up OB. We were there a total of 1'15" before the birth, no interventions at all other than the monitoring, but it just wasn't what I want for myself. I'm a doula and have only attended hospital births, each one gets harder and harder to watch, I just want to scream "Give her her baby!" and "She said stop!" and "Be patient!" So we are having a HB so I don't have to worry about screaming all those things at my own birth. I meet our MW in a week. There is one here that takes insurance as an in network provider. The others are out of network. We just don't have the money for that right now so I really hope I like this one!

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Old 06-01-2007, 05:46 PM
 
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Hey, so talk me into it, y'all!

This kid will definitely be a midwife-attended birth, but I haven't decided on birth center, homebirth, or even possible hospital midwife birth.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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Old 06-01-2007, 05:53 PM
 
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What talking do you want? Do you want to be painted a rosy picture of that first night tucked up in bed just you, dh, blah and bean? Skye's story- aka how NOT to do a homebirth

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-01-2007, 06:27 PM
 
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This sweetpea is my first and I plan on homebirthing him or her. Just praying that there's not a blizzard. Talking to my midwife next Friday, hopefully we can work out a game plan, so I can stop fretting about it

me, my man, and our boys (1/08 and 3/11)
 

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Old 06-01-2007, 06:32 PM
 
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We are having another homebirth! Ds was attempted but we transported to the hospital. I am thrilled with the chance to do it again and actually make it this time. I am looking for a new midwife right now, just have to get my interview questions in order.

It is SO nice to be able to putter around your own home in labor. Suddenly need a drink of the grape-cherry juice you bought last week? It's in the fridge! Need to change into that soft T-shirt you love? It's in the drawer! T-shirt pissing you off and you want to switch to a sports bra? Your in luck, it's in your dresser. Tired of the bed and want to try leaning on the couch or laying on the floor or sitting on the stairs--everything you need is right there and you can do whatever you want.

I spent a lot of time kneeling on the floor with my head on the couch and some time laying on the kitchen floor as well. Not sure how the nurses would have felt about that action had I been in the hospital. I couldn't imagine staying in a bed during labor, I don't think I could have made it. Even walking the hospital halls trailing an IV seems too constricting.

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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Old 06-01-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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I'm considering another attempt at a homebirth. My first was pretty scary--the baby was descending crooked, and so wasn't putting pressure on all of my cervix, so one side didn't efface entirely and I was stuck at (I think) 7 cm, then my water broke and it was heavy meconium show, and I had my mom and sisters there, who, for all their splendid points just were not the bravest faces in such trying circumstances--so I ended up a hospital transfer.

I'm taking my time making the decision, making sure that I can learn how to prevent some of the things that didn't go as smoothly as I'd have liked, recognizing the role my own fear and stress level may have played in the outcome, all the while trying not to be hard on myself and to stay open to what the universe has in store.

But the idea of birthing my baby in my own sacred space, holding him or her close right away, showering in my own hot shower, snuggling in my own warm blanket, hearing the dogs snore at my feet, the whole family being able to fall asleep in bed together that night, ... that is a beautiful and compelling thought!
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Old 06-01-2007, 06:52 PM
 
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JUST found out I'm pregnant with my fist TODAY! But I have been planning on having a homebirth for the last year before even TTC.

Now that I have a positive test result, my mother, step mother, and friend are all trying to tell me how dangerous it is to have a baby at home. They are sooo worried about that small chance that something may go wrong that the MW can't handle, which might be avoided if you were in the hospital....

My friend dates a gyno, and he says ladies get transfered to hospital all the time for the pain and thinking that they are dying...

I'm a little scared about the intensity of the pain... I read the stories where ladies say they were not ready for that kind of pain... but they did get through it. I like the stories where woman feel relief from pushing, and kind of like the "ring of fire" in a weird sort of "i'm making progress" kind of way.
I REALLY don't want a hospital transfer due to pain.

I'm trying to stay postive and not let the doubt creep in. I KNOW things can go wrong at home... but that doesn't make the hospital safe.
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Old 06-01-2007, 06:59 PM
 
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Ok, so my first post was full of doubt and fear.

I know that I can do this. Women have been giving birth since the begining of time. I will trust my body and my MW. I will ask my family and friends to keep their doubt to themselves.

I will have my baby at home with my husband, all nice and cozy and right where we should be.
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Old 06-01-2007, 07:26 PM
 
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Diana, I'm not fooling myself into thinking I remember the pain, because we don't; nature makes it that way on purpose; I remember little dribs and drabs of it, like being in labour with ds and realizing that I had forgotten what the pain was like with my dds even though the births weren't that far apart.

Buit I do remember that with my first birth, there was no way I was going to transfer because it was easier to deal with the pain of birthing than it would have been to deal with the pain of getting into a car and bump-bump-bumping down the road to a hospital.

I also remember that at some point during my second labor I realized that dealing with the pain of labor and birth was a necessary part of becoming a mother and would prepare me for other challenges further down the road. The phrase "If you could just buy them at the K-mart..." went through my mind and I embraced the pain as a good thing.

I've had to go hungry for dd and give up a lot of things that I loved and be stronger for her than I ever thought was possible, and I think there would have been less joy and more resentment if I had been going through those challenges with an adoptee or a C section baby or a medicated birth.

Are you familiar with Ina May Gaskin? She completely reframes the whole paradigm by refering to contractions as "rushes" instead of "pains". It may be a bit "hippy-dippy" for your tastes to compare birth with orgasm or LSD, but I can definitely see the parallels.

Do you have other experiences in your life with "good" pain, such as riding a bicycle in a marathon, working out hard at the gym and feeling it the next day, climbing a mountain, finally getting a chance to go horseback riding and knowing you're going to be sore in the morning but also knowing that it's worth it? If so, that's what the pain of birth is like.

Both my mother (an early pioneer of natural childbirth, although she did birth in hospitals) and myself wanted to do it again after our most recent births.

I never expected ds to be my last, but I do expect that little dd will be, so hopefully I can enjoy every step of this experience.
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Old 06-01-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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I don't know if I'm pregnant yet, but I'm pretty sure! I can't help but jump in.

I am planning (if I am pg) to have my first homebirth. My other 3 were hospital born. My insurance does not cover midwives so we are going to have to figure that out, but I'm really excited about the prospect of a homebirth. We shall see!!

Kim, Wife to Michael, Homeschooling Mom to Hannah (13), Aidan (12), Brighton (8), and Oliver (5) and Ephraim (2) goorganic.jpgsaynovax.giffly-by-nursing1.giffemalesling.GIF 
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Old 06-01-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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My hesitations about homebirth:

1) Afraid I'll need to transfer and be attended by some OB I don't know (I transferred from a birth center with DD, but my MW delivered)

2) Afraid of paying twice because of a transfer (also happened with DD)

3) Afraid of the teeny-tiny risks (this is the least of my worries, actually)

4) Afraid of other people hassling me

I just noticed how pain isn't on the list! Hey! And I had a horrendously painful back labor. Actually, although I did end up with an epi, that was only because the midwife talked me into it (in retrospect, I think she was worried about my exhaustion +posterior babe = the hospital demanding a section)

So, NOW talk me into it.

grateful mother to DD, 1/04, and DS, 2/08

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Old 06-02-2007, 12:38 AM
 
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Definetely planning a homebirth I had a crappy hospital birth experience first time around and am choosing a care provider I mesh better with this time Just want a nice low key drama free relationship with a midwife so I can concentrate on my real job at hand!
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Old 06-02-2007, 04:30 AM
 
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Diana, the most common reason for first-time homebirthing mums over here to transfer to hospital is because of the pain: 60%, in fact. Now what this actually tells you is that only 40% need to go because of a potential red flag about baby's health, like Theresa and Amanda's little boys (or mothers health.) Pain is such a subjective thing- your body will produce the endorphins to help you through this.
Besides, there's two kinds of pain: there is "my muscles are working harder than they've ever done before" pain, which will get the baby out. Then, there's "AAAOOOOOOOWWWWW" pain, like a total placental abruption in labour which, with total seriousness, feels like a limb in your stomach has just been amputated. (I'm good friends with someone who had a partial abruption.) That kind of pain will save your life, by making sure you know you need help now.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-02-2007, 04:51 AM
 
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We'll be having our 2nd homebirth with the same midwife who helped with ds2. I can't wait!
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Old 06-02-2007, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Laurie, we don't normally do first trimester scans over here- just one at 12 weeks and one at 20. The first I knew of the twins was when I started labouring again 24 hours after Brighid was born...
The good news is that I have a referral to a community midwife, my blood pressure is down on my last pregnancy, and as long as I'm still pregnant in two weeks time, my GP will refer me to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a scan. The bad news is that I forgot to lie about my dates, gave her my actual LMP (the NHS doesn't believe in newfangled ideas like fertility awareness) and so I now have a January due date Let's hope that the sonographer manages to be inaccurate in the right direction. Right now I feel very nurtured though.
Oh, and all of this is covered by the NHS, btw. We don't get nice details like beta tests and scans at every appointment, but my midwives have always been fantastic and the support post-birth is pretty great as well.
My midwives wont be doing the scans or betas either. I am in the care of a doctor at a fertility clinic that i was referred to by my midwife after 3 consecutive early miscarriages in the last year. She knew i needed some answers and that she didn't have the resources to give me any answers. DH and I have no problems concieving on our own, it's just keeping the baby. I am a pretty hands off, low to no medical person. So this has been a trip for me. But so glad i did it. Cause now i know it was just my body not producing enough progesterone. I will be on the supplement until 9 or 12 weeks. After that, I will transfer my care to my midwives. The sono at 6 weeks is standard at the fert. office.

As far as homebirth for this one, it's a hands down easy choice. DH was not so supportive the first two pregnancies but I just prayed hard and God revealed his will to my hubby. So #3 was an amazing birth with only 4 short hours of labour. Dh and I both caught the baby. Even more amazing to him. He is so excited about having #4 at home. He just can't see going back to the hospital ever again. I am so relieved.

Laurie, wife to James, mom to 3 girls: 8,5 & 4 and 1 handsome boy,2: planning May 2010
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Old 06-02-2007, 11:04 AM
 
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Hi noordinaryspider!

Thank you for your post. I'm hoping that "going to the hospital" does not even enter my mind as an option; and like you that I'd rather just get through it, than get in the car and go for a ride to see some dr. I don't know, and do the same thing I would have done at home anyhow...

Even though I have not experienced it, I think I know what you mean about the "if you could just buy them at the store" comment. This morning my husband was saying that he wishes that I did not have to feel the pain... And the Idea of a totally pain-free birth seemed so weird, and not as ful-filling... and I told him if that's what I wanted, I could just get the epi. And I explained to him how empowering birth can be for so many woman.

I have two experiences in life to sort of compare it to... One was hiking on the AT going up a mountian, I felt like I would be walking up a steep hill in the cold and rain for ever... We still had such a long way to go and I started crying, but I kept going and I did reach our goal, and I felt good, but also sad that I had not totally believed in myself that I could make it.

The other experience was getting a tattoo... lame, I know. But you get that rush of endorphins and you're in pain, but I like the "Be HERE, NOW" kind of feeling it brings on, that I have heard people talking about having during labor. That with the pain, you are living totally in the present.

Loraxc: I'm also worried about people hasseling me! I'm going to have to tell them all to keep it to themselves.

Flapjack: 60% hospital transfers due to pain is not very inspiring. I hope I can avoid a transfer due to pain. And thanks for the reminder that there is the pain of giving birth, and then theres the "you need help now" kind of pain, where you know something is wrong. I think women get scared and think thats the kind of pain they are feeling - and maybe thats why they asked to get a transfer. I have been reading so much to combat any fear and doubt.

Well, Sorry for the long post!
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Old 06-02-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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No- of the first-time mums who choose to transfer (and bearing in mind the fact that in the UK, we have a higher transfer rate than you do) 60% of those people chose to do so because they wanted access to more pain relief than they could have at home. That's including things like prolonged labour and back labour and awkward foetal positioning where no other indicator has presented yet. (UK midwives rarely use the "failure to progress" tag, though doctors sometimes do.)
It's not an inspiring statistic, but fear of pain is something you can prepare for and deal with. You can practice relaxation breathing, explore hypnotherapy (why has nobody talked about hypnobabies yet?) and use sheer bloodymindedness- it really IS like your analogy of climbing the mountain. Like mountainclimbing, it's one step, one contraction at a time. The view from the top is absolutely overwhelming- and yes, there's the option of taking the cablecar (epidural) But you don't have to if you don't want to.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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Old 06-03-2007, 01:55 PM
 
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I really want to have my baby at home. I think it would be wonderful! My DH is against it because he's so scared something will go wrong. I have awhile to work on him though. I'm not giving up on it yet!!

DD1 6 1/2 DD2 9/20/14 (18 weeks)
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Old 06-03-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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And I had a horrendously painful back labor. Actually, although I did end up with an epi, that was only because the midwife talked me into it (in retrospect, I think she was worried about my exhaustion +posterior babe = the hospital demanding a section)

So, NOW talk me into it.
Um ~ I had the same situation! I was at the hospital, in labour and he was posterior and I had intense back labour/pain and my midwife suggested an epi ~ I didn't have it b/c I dialated before the doctor could get to the hospital to give it to me, and I can tell you that although it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced, the second I pulled ds onto my chest I bawled, looked at dp and said "I wanna do it all again". Pure Bliss

I'm not a religious person, but the 'mantra' I repeated to myself during the labour was that God wouldn't give me more pain than I could handle. Simply wouldn't happen.

The other midwife who was attending the birth told Kay (our MW) that she didn't think the baby would be born vaginally (I found this out the next week).

He ended up comming out with his fist balled up and placed on his cheek. I tore ....ahem, *both ways*

I figure, if I can handle that kind of pain and come out if it glowing, I can do it all again in the comfort of my own home.

~ side note, but when I got the the hospital we arrived before our MW and the nurse 'checked me' and I swear she thought I was a cow. It was aweful. violating. The main reason I'm not going back to the hospital.

Also, you might want to look into hypnobirthing, great way to focus during labour.
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Old 06-03-2007, 10:58 PM
 
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It'll have to be a pretty catastrophic situation to get me into a hospital again for a birth. My first two boys were born in hospital, and I can tell stories that will make your hair curl. In both cases I was forced into unwanted and unnecessary procedures, and ended up with c/s.

My third was born UC in my bathtub. It was an unusually long and difficult birth, but compared to the hospital births it was pure heaven. The recovery was amazing, so much easier. I was able to focus on my children right away.

This time I think I'll hire a MW if I can get one who will let me stay pregnant as long as necessary, and let me birth alone if I need too. I think I have one who will work this way. The UC was great, but this time we are military, and he's going to be in Iraq. Something tells me I'm going to want someone around, if she's hands off enough.

Kiley
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Old 06-03-2007, 11:03 PM
 
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Sheer bloodymindedness worked for me. My home labor was very long, 36 intense hours, all backlabor, first vag birth after two c/s, just hard all around. I kept telling myself that women all over the world have been doing this without c/s for millenia, and if they can do it so can I. I didn't want to be shown up, I think. It worked. He came out!

Kiley
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Old 06-04-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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I'll definitely be having a homebirth - possibly a UC, depending on how I feel at the time. For prenatal care I will be under the care of wonderful midwives and actually can't wait for my first appointment "outing" - they're about an hour away, and just about 5 minutes from the beach, so I usually make a day of it!

I've had a horrible, medicated hospital birth; a wonderful natural hospital birth; and amazing midwife-attended birth center waterbirth and the most natural, normal, pain-free, estatic, serene homebirth ...of my biggest babe at 10 lbs 14oz. Now I can't imagine birthing anywhere other than in the comfort of my own home!
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Old 06-05-2007, 12:14 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama_nym View Post
I've had a horrible, medicated hospital birth; a wonderful natural hospital birth; and amazing midwife-attended birth center waterbirth and the most natural, normal, pain-free, estatic, serene homebirth ...of my biggest babe at 10 lbs 14oz. Now I can't imagine birthing anywhere other than in the comfort of my own home!
That's like a sampler platter of birth!

Grin,

Kiley
mom3b1? is offline  
 
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