Uncertain future. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 07-08-2007, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well. I don't know what to say. I hope I have not secumb to the all too well known insane due to pregnancy craze, but I think with all of the troubles I have had in this so called marriage it is coming to a time when I should cut my losses.

Two months ago starting over would have scared the sh*t out of me but for some reason now I know I am ready mentally and within the next year and a half I will be ready financially.

DH (dumb husband) is not the person I would like to have to raise my children with. I feel he has nothing to offer that could better my life or theirs.

I feel I am starting a new chapter in my life. And for once I feel it is a chapter worth starting. I am only 25 so I still have my share of dumb things to do but things just seem so clear at this point. It's not about society or inlaws or anything else that has influenced me in the past few years. All I have are me and my babies. And we are going to be happy.

Life seems so good these days.
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#2 of 10 Old 07-08-2007, 02:33 PM
 
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Good luck with whatever decisions you make. Keep us updated.

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#3 of 10 Old 07-08-2007, 02:57 PM
 
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Sometimes our children give us the courage to do things we would not be brave enough to do for ourselvs.
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#4 of 10 Old 07-08-2007, 03:24 PM
 
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Good Luck. It's amazing what we moms can do for the sake of our children.

Hugs,

Kiley
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#5 of 10 Old 07-08-2007, 05:28 PM
 
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[QUOTE Sometimes our children give us the courage to do things we would not be brave enough to do for ourselvs.[/QUOTE]

So true! Good luck with your decision.
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#6 of 10 Old 07-08-2007, 11:35 PM
 
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Hang in there!
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#7 of 10 Old 07-09-2007, 12:40 AM
 
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Exactly what is going on? Did you already leave? Plan on in 1 1/2 years?

Just trying to make sense of your post and it's so empowering, isn't it? I wish that I left my first husband while still pregnant then I wouldn't have had the struggles i endured.
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#8 of 10 Old 07-09-2007, 10:20 AM
 
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Good luck

You know you can do this- you've done it before, and whilst single parenting is hard work it's a heck of a lot more rewarding than being married to someone who is dragging you down. In some ways, whilst I love Steve, I do miss the days when it was me and my guys and the three of us were going to take over the world.
We're here if you need us- you know that, right?

(and what are you going to change your username to?)

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#9 of 10 Old 07-09-2007, 10:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by naturallia View Post
Exactly what is going on? Did you already leave? Plan on in 1 1/2 years?

Just trying to make sense of your post and it's so empowering, isn't it? I wish that I left my first husband while still pregnant then I wouldn't have had the struggles i endured.
No I am not leaving right now. He is getting ready to go overseas again for a year and a half. In that time I am going to save a nice little nest egg for me to leave as well as finish up my degree so I will be able to support the little ones. No point in leaving now when he will be leaving in september anyways.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack View Post
Good luck

You know you can do this- you've done it before, and whilst single parenting is hard work it's a heck of a lot more rewarding than being married to someone who is dragging you down. In some ways, whilst I love Steve, I do miss the days when it was me and my guys and the three of us were going to take over the world.
We're here if you need us- you know that, right?

(and what are you going to change your username to?)
I know I can do it and I feel really good about it. I don't hate him or anything like that. More like I am just really disappointed in the way he turned out to be. Or maybe he is not really all that bad I am just not letting go of things he did to me while we were dating. Either way, I feel there is deffinantly a more productive way to live my life. Although I dearly love him with all my heart I just can tell he isn't the man I should grow old with. My point of view is, why waist my time? Never thought I would turn out to be one of those man hateing kind of women, but really, what are men for? I know my life will be on the right track and very happy and fulfilling if it were just me and my rugrats. Maybe after they are grown and gone to college I will settle down with a man. Right now I just don't have time for it. Nobody is more deserving of my love than my babies and I really just don't feel like sharing it with anyone but them.
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#10 of 10 Old 07-09-2007, 01:51 PM
 
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You go, girl!

Nicole, isn't it, or do I have you confused with someone else?

I'm a single mom by choice with this pregnancy and am having to face up to some bad choices I made earlier in life (I'm 42 and have an eighteen year old daughter by the ex from hell) and choose to focus on the future (my kids) instead of that past.

It doesn't sound like you're turning into a cliche of a "man-hating hairy-legged Dworkin-quoting feminist" or jumping on the "I'm crazy because I'm pregnant" bandwagon to me; it sounds like you and your baby have both done a lot of growing lately.

I would advise that you speak to a paralegal or an attorney about the custody agreement and have it in writing ASAP after the birth. There is also an excellent Single Parenting forum here that is quite lurkable.
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