People probably think I'm cranky too, but it's not my fault. The world is a harsh place that isn't safe to be born into. I want to protect my baby, but I'm not strong enough. I feel so horribly selfish for causing her this endless suffering we call "life", but I know that if s/he wasn't here, there wouldn't be a point to anything and I couoldn't have survived myself knowing that I had failed my older kids and lost everything I ever cared about and yet some stupid, selfish rich person was still buying $10,000 diamond studded collars for her pampered poochie while kids starve to death in Ethiopia.
I hate my job and I hate stupid people who think I'm stupid because I don't give a flying fark who won the stupid football game last night.
I'm not allowed to say it or even think it because I am a single mama by choice, and unlike most SMCs, I knew darned well what I was getting into since I've already raised one kid to adulthood by myself so I'm not even allowed to admit that I feel so incredibly and overhwelmingly alone and I am all too aware that this desparetely wanted little one who I tried so hard to conceive for fifteen months against all odds has the distinction, among all five of them, of being the baby absolutely nobody wants except me.
So yea, I guess other people look at me and see cranky, bitchy, and hormonal.