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#1 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 12:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Unwillingly I am leaving you. I miscarried on Friday at 12w 4d. I saw my baby's hearbeat and saw him waving his arms at my 10w 1d appt but he must have died shortly thereafter (I don't know for sure if it was a boy but I have a strong feeling). This is my fourth m/c and I'm 45 years old so it looks like this is the end of TTC for us. My DH doesn't want to go through this anymore and I don't know if I can either although I feel like if I give up I'm really going to lose it more than I am already. The good thing is we have a wonderful DD (almost 6 yo). We feel so fortunate to have her. We just wanted so badly to give her a sibling and to double the joy we've experienced with her. I guess it's not going to happen.

I hope the best for all of you. I will be lurking here from time to time. Be sure to appreciate the wonderful gift you have been given!

Stacey
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#2 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 12:25 AM
 
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I am so so sorry Stacey.

treehugger.gifAutistic pagan mama with five kiddos on the spectrum, learning through living life. autismribbon.gif  computergeek2.gif

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#3 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 12:54 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for not only this loss, but also for your previous losses. Please know that I'll be thinking of you and your dh.

A happy woman
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#4 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss...I am thinking of you.
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#5 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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Thinking of you.

Mom to:

Three big girls  twins.gif (10) + joy.gif (almost 9!); 

One little boy ROTFLMAO.gif(6) and a full on toddler diaper.gif  (8/12) born with TAPVR heartbeat.gif (repaired at 6 days old).

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#6 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 02:47 AM
 
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and please don't even try to decide whether you are going to try again right now; the emotions are just way too raw.
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#7 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 08:04 AM
 
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So sorry, Stacey. I wish you all the healing in the world right now.
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#8 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 08:34 AM
 
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I am so sorry Stacey!
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#9 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 09:02 AM
 
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#10 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 09:09 AM
 
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I am so so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself mama.
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#11 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 10:36 AM
 
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I'm so sorry Stacey

Jen read.gif Mama of 2 precious boys blowkiss.gif (9)  flowersforyou.gif (6)  and still in heartbeat.gif with my Matt hat.gif after 12 years together. 

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 homebirth.jpg bf.jpg nocirc.gif ribbonjigsaw.gif 

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#12 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 10:41 AM
 
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#13 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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I am so, so sorry.

Mara, mama to two boys born 05/2009 and 04/2011, after four miscarriages. 

Also: chicken3.gif  dog2.gif

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#14 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 11:55 AM
 
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Oh lord, I am so so sorry. Take good care of yourself. Our thoughts will be with you.

signature currently in transition
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#15 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 02:29 PM
 
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homebirth.jpg<>< Mama to DS, DD, and a new baby girl 4/1! homeschool.gifmdcblog5.gif

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#16 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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So so sorry for your loss.

Linda - Mom who will never be afraid to use an Epi-Pen again! Epi-Pens save lives!
Charlie 4 yrs old, Harry 2 yrs old & someone new March 8, 2010!
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#17 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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I'm so, so sorry. My prayers are with you. *hugs*
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#18 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 05:40 PM
 
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mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#19 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 08:17 PM
 
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#20 of 26 Old 08-16-2007, 08:26 PM
 
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Dammit! I'm so sad to see you go!

Lauren (33), writer, recovering academic, WOHM to a highly sensitive child (Robin, Feb '08) and mellow little Holly (Jan '10). Newly diagnosed Bipolar I. rolleyes.gif
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#21 of 26 Old 08-17-2007, 01:18 PM
 
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Sorry mamma.... Take care of yourself!

M,partner to D,mama to Sofia (6/01), Madeline(11/04), and Quin(2/08)  Hoping for a tubal reversal baby SOON after the proceduremakebabe.gif

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#22 of 26 Old 08-17-2007, 02:54 PM
 
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I am so sorry, Stacey.
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#23 of 26 Old 08-17-2007, 03:16 PM
 
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oh I'm so sorry

-sarah-
mom to three, 4 and under.
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#24 of 26 Old 08-20-2007, 12:32 PM
 
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I'm so so sorry.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#25 of 26 Old 08-20-2007, 02:47 PM
 
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Wishing healing and peaceful vibes for you and your family.

Living DAIRY AND GLUTEN FREE for my SPD and Aspergers Little Man.
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#26 of 26 Old 08-20-2007, 06:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your support. Each day I cry a little less but I'm still feeling numb/confused/angry/sad/overwhelmed/etc. and it changes from moment to moment. Sometimes I wonder if it was all just a dream since I'm the only one who saw my little one waving his arms but I have his pictures hanging up to remind me of how blessed I was at least for a little while to have had him. And now I'm trying to live in the here and now instead of the past or the future. I owe it to my wonderful, wonderful DD to be here for her instead of consumed in my grief. I am so blessed to have her. I homeschool her so a new school year is starting and it's good for us to be in a busy routine. We are also beginning plans to finally decorate her room - I have been in limbo for the past few years because I was waiting to see if we would finally have a baby to share her room but I need to move on. I've decided not to make a firm decision on TTC yet but at the same time I've decided to live my life one day at a time and not obsess about the future and what may or may not happen. Anyways I didn't mean to write a novel - just wanted to express my gratitude for your support and remind you all to appreciate all the blessings in your lives especially the new life you are carrying. Thank you, Stacey
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