Too Much Worrying - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm a lifelong worrier about my own health. Now I'm worrying waaaay too much about DS.

It doesn't help that we've had some things happen that would cause even a non-worrier to worry. He had a slow weight gain at two weeks (followed by rock star growth at 3 weeks, so my worries were unfounded). He had jaundice lasting longer than normal (2 1/2 weeks). I have thrush and we're really struggling with sore nipples. Now he's got a bluish cast around his mouth, which the doctor's office says is pretty normal, but we're going in on Wednesday just to be safe (because it can be an indication of real serious problems).

Anyhow, regardless of whether or not the worries are about anything real, they're hard to deal with. I think part of the reason for the worry is that he's so precious and sweet and I love him so much. I have no idea what I'd do if anything happened to him. But the worry isn't helping anyone. Is anyone else having problems with worry? Or have any suggestions for me?
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#2 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 04:43 AM
 
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Thinking of the right words- I'll be back.

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#3 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 09:48 AM
 
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Well, after my first was born I went through such worry/anxiety that I'm sure it was a form of ppd. Having said that, I am also a worrier - always have been - so it's not really a surprise that I would deal with this after having a baby. The thing is that I love her so much and I had no idea what I was doing so I constantly doubted myself, and on top of all of that I felt that I alone was responsible for keeping her ALIVE! I felt so much pressure to not do anything wrong - it all felt really life or death to me. I used to say that if Jesus himself walked through the door and offered to watch her for me while I took a nap, I wouldn't trust him to do the job right. Just a little humor, no offense meant. Anyway, now that my third is around 6 weeks old, it doesn't feel as dire. I trust God, the universe, whatever, that I'm doing the best I can to take care of her and that all of the colds, and flus and minor illnesses will work themselves out. And they are inevitable, so I might as well just do the best I can (oh, yeah, and allow dh and family to help out too). So, this turned into a really long post, sorry about that. I just couldn't read and not post because becoming a mother was big transition for me, and it always helped when other moms shared their own stories. Just keep loving your lo and doing the best you can - it'll be okay!

Tara
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#4 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 10:56 AM
 
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I'm not much of a worrier, but I often have horrible visions of something terrible happening to my kids- especially the baby. I was putting away a cast iron skillet the other day while Twyla was sleeping on the kitchen floor in the moses basket, and I suddenly envisioned myself dropping it on her head! I wasn't even close to her, but the thought made me feel like I was going to vomit! I think some of that, and the worry that you experience are built in ways to make sure we take care of our babies. It still sucks, though.
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#5 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 11:27 AM
 
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I don't have any words of wisdom really because I started feeling extreme worry when I became a mom, too. Every single thing I did with ds, I would have flashes in my mind of the worst case scenario. Walking down the basement stairs with him in my arms and a picture of me tumbling down onto the concrete would cross my mind. Things like that. I have to say that it hasn't really gone away, because I still worry about all these weird scenarios and I still think about all the things that could happen to him and now dd, too. But I think that time has kind of just made all the worry easier to deal with because I am used to it now. And I think that it has made it almost easier to relax in some ways because I know that 2.5 years of worry has made me hyper aware of all the dangers surrounding my kids so protecting them--whether it is grabbing his arm as he bolts toward the street, or unconsciously closing a baby gate as I walk past it--is like a reflex instead of something I have to consciously think about all the time.

HTH

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#6 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 12:31 PM
 
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Hi Mama,

Just sending love and hugs and support. This is my first and I'm in the same worry boat with you. I worry about who will care for her when I go back to work in 6 weeks- I know no one can care for our little ones better then their own mamas.

You are doing a great job.
Trust and love,

Mj
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#7 of 9 Old 03-26-2008, 04:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all of your good wishes! I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. It sure makes me feel like less of a basket case.

I wish I could say things were better, though. We had our check-up with the dr. today about the blue around Ellis' mouth and, although she thinks it's probably nothing, she recommended we see a Pediatric Cardiologist. How can I not freak out about that???
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#8 of 9 Old 03-27-2008, 06:26 PM
 
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How can you not freak out about the pediatric cardiologist??? Well, you can't, but you can trust the doctors and know that almost whatever it is can be fixed or managed. DH has had heart probs his whole life; he has a titanium aortic valve now. I used to worry like mad about him, but I realized that all my worry did nothing for him and made me a wreck. Such common words, I know, but I had to embrace each day for what it brought me and ease up on the worrying. Anyway, I'm sure your little one is just fine; worrying about it will not help the outcome and will compromise your ability to care for your baby. I know that all of my worry for dh (or my kids) only exhausts me an takes away my ability to be a wife/mother worth anything. Good luck and keep us posted. s

Perdita, wife to J, mom to Bridget (6), Ivy (4) Trace (2) and Fiona, my 3rd vbac baby, born 12/2/09!
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#9 of 9 Old 03-27-2008, 07:26 PM
 
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Not in your DDC but noticed your post and read your thrush issues. Have you tried acidophilus supplements and Grapefruit seed extract pills (the tincture is disgusting). Might help. Good luck with your little guy!

AP crunchy homeschooling mama to Henning (1/4/03), Connor (7/1/05) and Elijah (9/21/08) Forever holding my 3 lost little ones in my heart.
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