Ladies, how much weight have you gained? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 12:36 PM
 
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I have gained 0 lbs so far. This pg seems to be following the same pattern as my others. So it should be another month or so and I will start gaining. I guess that's the thing about starting out with some extra.

This thread is about weight gain and has taken a wrong turn along the way. I do think the pre-e conversation is worth having and do wonder why some are becoming so defensive over a harmless statement that was noted as a "claim." Perhaps this would be a great conversation for the Birth Professionals board where more could weigh in.

One more thing I wanted to add....JustJamie I do find it highly offensive that you would insinuate that women who are more informed and taking responsibility for their pregnancies and birth, are negligent and responsible for their own and their babies deaths. I find it ironic that you would make a woman feel like that after something so devastating as the loss of a child, but take offense to someone's suggestion that improving diet "may" improve outcomes. I would suggest that you read about more loss on these boards because the women here are knowledgable and compassionate and women feel safe to share. Additionally, I believe that many women who frequent MDC seek answers and don't fall into the category of women who believe "my dr always knows best" so they seek out other sources of info, also found on these boards.

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#62 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 01:33 PM
 
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JustJamie I do find it highly offensive that you would insinuate that women who are more informed and taking responsibility for their pregnancies and birth, are negligent and responsible for their own and their babies deaths. I find it ironic that you would make a woman feel like that after something so devastating as the loss of a child, but take offense to someone's suggestion that improving diet "may" improve outcomes. I would suggest that you read about more loss on these boards because the women here are knowledgable and compassionate and women feel safe to share. Additionally, I believe that many women who frequent MDC seek answers and don't fall into the category of women who believe "my dr always knows best" so they seek out other sources of info, also found on these boards.
No where did I insinuate any such thing. I commented on a trend I have noticed, and only suggest that perhaps the "natural family living" community instigates a fear of medical services when those medical services have been known to save lives.

I am the first to admit that trusting your doctor at all costs is a stupid and reckless thing to do - but so is saying something so...unfounded...as a simple diet change can prevent something as serious as pre-e. It can't. Period. Nothing at this point in time can. You either get it, or you don't, and amazingly, we don't know why.

In a normal, healthy pregnancy, by all means, avoid medical care - you're not sick, why should you see a doctor? BUT when you start to notice intense swelling in your fingers...don't just try to eat more protein. When you notice that your gums are starting to bleed, don't be so foolish as to assume that it's the chemicals in your organic toothpaste. If you start seeing little black spots in your eyes, or tracers of your blood vessels - don't think that just eating more raw veggies will solve the problem. It won't, and by taking such a complacent attitude towards the situation, you are putting yourself and your baby at serious risk.

Never mind...I can see that I'm getting nowhere here. I'll go ahead and say a quick prayer tonight that everyone on this board has healthy, normal pregnancies, so everyone can keep burying their heads in the sand and wishing we were back in the Middle Ages where women were "allowed" to give birth at home with no interventions, and keep pretending that the maternal/infant mortality rates back then had nothing to do with lack of proper medical care.
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#63 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 02:47 PM
 
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I still don't get why someone would be so defensive about a mere diet change suggestion. Anyone I have ever known to develop pre-e or pre-e symptoms was willing to try anything to keep it from progressing or reoccurring in subsequent pregnancies. Just like it's nobodies fault when you do everything right and a true emergency occurs that requires true intervention, nobody is saying it is your fault you developed pre-e. However, regardless of how things turn out in my pregnancies, I would like to think that I did everything right so that if an outcome were to be less than optimal, I would KNOW that I had done everything I could and would not have to walk into any future pregnancies with regrets about "how I wish I had known" from previous ones.

And I really don't appreciate your sarcasm and suggestion that myself and others are simply "burying our heads in the sand." I suggest that many, many women on these boards have devoted countless hours to helping others and researching pregnancy, birth and parenting issues.

Perhaps a change in lifestyle did not help in your personal circumstances, but I would be more than happy to put you in touch with at least one person, that I know personally that it did. I have had a client who had 3 babies, all induced due to pre-e and no amount of diet change in the world helped her, but she still tried it in hopes of improving things for her and her baby. Then there is the client who was induced at 31 weeks due to severe pre-e, changed her diet, added some supplements and her pre-e symptoms during her 2nd pg leveled out and she was able to deliver her term baby. But I guess she and I were burying our heads in the sand when she went to the hospital at 30-something weeks because of her symptoms.

Doing everything you can to prevent an outcome is not the same as doing all that you can and then ignoring signs that there is a problem....that would be really ignorant. And you are right - you certainly aren't going to get anywhere by being rude and suggesting that women are killing their babies all for the sake of their birth experience. The dead baby card has sorta lost it's effect on most of this crowd.

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#64 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 03:25 PM
 
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Sigh. You really are not hearing me.

I am not being sarcastic. I am being as sincere as I possibly can.

And no, when you went to the hospital, you were not burying your head in the sand. Staying home would have been burying your head in the sand, and denying that there was anything wrong.

I will try to redress this with less emotion. I am still very raw from my experience 2 years ago. I am still very shaken by the woman who died not three weeks after my DD was born...there but for the grace of God went I. Thank god someone finally caught my symptoms, thank god for the doctors who monitored me weekly and kept me alive and pregnant long enough to deliver a full term baby with no health issues. The doctor who interfered with my induction and caused my c-section can kiss my deriere, but the rest of the practice...thank god for them.

Pre-e is a very scary thing for me, because I lived it. I did everything right, and I still got sick...my pregnancy, the very thing that makes me a woman, nearly killed me...but I was doing everything right. I was exercising, I was eating well, I was making sure I slept enough, I drank lots of water, I listened to every piece of advice from every angle that was thrown at me - and I still nearly died. It didn't hit me just how serious it was until a woman who was due a month after me had a seizure that left her brain dead...her husband kept her alive long enough for the baby to be delivered by emergency c-section, and then had her taken off life support. That could have been me. It could have been me.

To imply that a change of diet could have prevented that...means that I was eating wrong, that I was doing something wrong, that caused it. I wasn't. I've been on a "diet" specially formulated by a nutritionist since I was 17. I did absolutely everything I could to ensure a healthy pregnancy - and I still got sick. Very sick. The kind of sick where I didn't think I ever wanted another baby because if that's what pregnancy was like - well, I was amazed the human race didn't die out millions of years ago.

This time around is so incredibly different, it underscores just how very sick I was with my daughter. This time, I have zero symptoms, and would not even believe I was pregnant if not for the positive pregnancy tests and having seen my baby on an ultrasound this past Monday. And you know what? I'm not nearly as healthy as I was 2 years ago. I don't do the daily exercises...I just chase my toddler. I don't make sure to eat 3 meals a day + 3 snacks, with perfectly measured portions of perfectly balanced nutrients...I feed my toddler, and snack when I get hungry. Today, I've eaten 7 strawberries, a hot dog, 3 carrots, and a couple Wint O Green lifesavers. So if diet is all there is to it - explain why I was so sick last time, and so healthy this time.
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#65 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 08:43 PM
 
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Sigh. You really are not hearing me.

I am not being sarcastic. I am being as sincere as I possibly can.
...

So if diet is all there is to it - explain why I was so sick last time, and so healthy this time.

I think you are not really hearing what others are saying, either. NO ONE has suggested that "diet is all there is to it". NO ONE has said that you did ANYTHING wrong when you developed pre e. I am so sorry for your horrible experience in your previous pregnancy, and grateful and happy that things ultimately turned out well for you. But I think your traumatic experience has made it extremely difficult to hear other people's thoughts/suggestions about pre e. Again, NO ONE here has said that diet is a magic-bullet, be-all-end-all cure for pre e; no one has even implied that (at least, not in this forum).

But it doesn't make sense to simply ignore the evidence that, in some cases (obviously NOT yours), a diet that is high in protein and/or calcium can make a difference in some women. The evidence isn't conclusive, but it is out there. I am not claiming that we completely understand pre e, or all it's causes. Not even remotely close. But why not be open to some alternatives that may help? No one is suggesting that women should ignore dangerous warning signs. But in your defensiveness, you have implied that the women on this board are being irresponsible. That is not productive.

It definitely sounds like you were doing everything right with your earlier pregnancy, and still developed pre e. Thank God you and your doctors had the ability to recognize and treat the problem before it turned tragic. The exact same thing happened to my sister. Neither of you are to blame for the situation you were in. I'm just sorry that you felt attacked here, and felt the need to attack back. Congratulations on what sounds like a much safer and more comfortable pregnancy this time around!

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#66 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 09:08 PM
 
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Sigh. You really are not hearing me.

I am not being sarcastic. I am being as sincere as I possibly can.
Jaime,

I really understand where you are coming from. I was unable to breastfeed my son, despite everything I tried. Up to that point, I loved MDC. But then I realized how smug this place can be and also how judgemental. Not being able to breastfeed made me so depressed. I still have pain about it today, three years later. When I hear people talking about women who "claim" they tried to breastfeed but could not, I see red. So I can really understand the pain in your words.

I think pre-eclampsia is a similar. Lots of women take credit for their healthy pregnancies and natural births in a way that makes others feel that they didn't try hard enough. In my birthing class, one mom delivered at 30 weeks due to pre-eclampsia. At the reunion, other moms talked about how their diet gave them a successful labor. I wish I could have spoken up and told them how their words sounded. But I was still so raw about my own experience.

Sorry to derail this thread, but I had to chime in!
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#67 of 111 Old 09-08-2007, 10:14 PM
 
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JustJamie-

(((HUGS))) for all you have been through. Mama guilt really sucks doesn't it- I never realized before how easy it was to feel responsible and guilty for everything involving another being, and how defensive it could make me. I can only imagine the feeling you get when you see a thread saying a mom has some swelling and higher blood pressure and someone says to eat more protein like it's a simple solution. Like if you had eaten more protein you wouldn't have had the horrible, scary issues you had. It must be like hearing someone say they're having chest pains, so maybe they'll have fish for lunch instead of McDs. Like they're totally ignoring the seriousness of their condition. And you just want to scream at them to get to the doctor, because their LIFE is at stake, and you don't want what happened to you to happen to them too. That must be SOOO hard.

In general, it's amazing the difference what we take into our bodies can make. I can't imagine the guilt mamas who had kids with neural tube defects must have felt when the research first said that eating more folic acid could prevent that. A small diet change could have meant the difference between death or lifelong disability and a normally developed spinal column. But at the same time, THEY did NOTHING wrong. And neither did you. Even if the research ends up confirming that eating 100-120 g of protein a day (which is a LOT of protein, I eat healthy and am having major issues getting that much) can reduce the risk of pre-e, YOU still did NOTHING wrong. All of us do the best we can with what we have. You were eating a diet created by a nutritionist, how much healthier could you have gotten? You were taking care of yourself and your baby to the very best of your ability. And something awful still happened. Folic Acid does not completely prevent neural tube defects, there are still cases where other factors come into play and it happens anyway. But for the majority of people folic acid does wonders. Perhaps you were a case where a stellar diet just wasn't enough, but for others it would be. Perhaps there was just "something in the water" where you were before that tipped you over the edge, and now that you are in a different place it isn't an issue. (And I don't say that totally jokingly- when ds was born we lived on a Navy base, and 2 other babies on our street on base were born close to the same time- and they all had eczema and food allergies. Coincidence? Perhaps, but I think the jet fuel in the water had something to do with it. Evidently the Navy thought it was okay to dump spent fuel out in the desert, never thinking it would, I don't know, seep into the ground water or something. : )

So please, for your own sanity, try to let go of any thought that somehow you did something wrong (and I'm guessing from your defensiveness that it's lurking somewhere, but I could be wrong). Sucky things happen. Sometimes they're preventable, sometimes they're not. And just because things are preventable doesn't mean the people that they happened to did something wrong, or brought it upon themselves. You can't know all the research everywhere, and there is no way you can be aware of everything having an effect on your body and your baby. You just have to have faith that you're doing the best you can and hopefully that will be good enough. And if it''s not good enough, and something still happens, then you can be secure in the fact that you did everything you knew to do. That's all we can ever hope for.
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#68 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 12:26 AM
 
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Didn't realize there were so many pages to this thread before posting--only saw the first one. So I'm getting rid of my original post as I want to makes sure my response actually makes sense in the context of this conversation. Sorry!!
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#69 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 01:50 PM
 
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14 weeks yesterday, and I'm 1 pound under my pre-pregnancy weight - I'm eating well, and constantly, but in small amounts.

ETA: I'm sorry, I didn't realize there were more pages.
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#70 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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Hi, had time to check in on a long lunch at work.

14 weeks, belly getting bigger but 0 lbs (morning sickness just ended last week)
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#71 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 02:14 PM
 
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Hi, had time to check in on a long lunch at work.

14 weeks, belly getting bigger but 0 lbs (morning sickness just ended last week)
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#72 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 02:58 PM
 
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I'm 13 weeks and am a little overweight but I've lost about 10 pounds..mainly because I am sick all the time and have no appetite...I have plenty of reserves though so I am not worried yet

Ally
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#73 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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Thank goodness....after reading that first page I thought, I'm going to shock them all with my whopping 9lb gain!!! YIKES~ Thankfully, there are several of us!! 15 weeks today! I gained 50+ with my last, but am really hoping not to follow the same trend~ Not sure I'll have luck with that one!!

Happy Weight Gaining!!

Alisa
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#74 of 111 Old 09-10-2007, 07:04 PM
 
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At my last appt I had gained 4 lbs and I was 8w6d. Lately I haven't been feeling to good so not sure if I have gained anymore. I should get a scale for home to check more often.

Stefanie- Wife to the love of my life Scott. Mom to Skyler (7), Scott Jr (6) and Sienna: (2).
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#75 of 111 Old 09-11-2007, 03:13 AM
 
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JustJamie, you're right. Overall nutrition is important to a healthy pregnancy but there are some things - pre e being one of them - that nothing can prevent. (((Hugs)))

Pumpkingirl, as for MDC bring a harsh and judgemental place...you are so right!

I've gained 8 pounds so far (14w5d) and started back on WW today.

Jenn
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#76 of 111 Old 09-11-2007, 02:30 PM
 
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JustJamie, I'm very sorry you seem to have taken my posts the wrong way. I wrote a very long response addressing each point in your response to me, but I've decided not to post it because I don't think it would be helpful.

I think it may suprise you, but we actually agree on the basic points, that seeking medical care when necessary is important and absolutely the right thing to do; that medical care when necessary is essential and saves lives; and that you cannot perfectly control pregnancy and sometimes things will go wrong, regardless of the pregnant woman "doing everything right."

I do still feel it is important to emphasize a healthy diet, because it is known and proven that a healthy diet during pregnancy increases your chances for a healthy pregnancy and baby. That does not mean that every woman who does everything to maximize her chances of a healthy pregnancy and baby will get one.

I don't want to defend myself because I don't think it's necessary - I think my words speak for themselves. I'm sorry you had such a difficult pregnancy and are still so upset about it. I had a very difficult first birth and I harbored a lot of hostility, some towards the natural birth community, for very similar reasons. I've been able to let go of that and realize that I was taking things personally that actually were not "for" me at all, and that the best way to deal with the situation was to post about my own, somewhat unusual birth experience every time the relevant questions come up. It allows me to show that sometimes things don't happen the way they will for most people, and to keep your eyes and ears and heart open for the unexpected - but at the same time, acknowledging that that is not the experience of the majority and most likely the OP or person posing the question will not end up in my shoes. Maybe that would be a helpful way for you to address these questions, too.

ETA: Sorry not to respond sooner, but I just haven't checked in to this thread for a little while.
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#77 of 111 Old 09-11-2007, 08:25 PM
 
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about 5 lbs. My midwife will give me hell about it, not looking forward to the next visit!
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#78 of 111 Old 09-11-2007, 08:41 PM
 
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I think I've gained around 8 pounds But I have no morning sickness and had to cut out exercising at the beginning because of miscarriage scares. So hopefully it will slow down.
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#79 of 111 Old 09-11-2007, 11:23 PM
 
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14 weeks now, down 8lbs. But at the same time, breasts and belly are growing so I imagine that I have 'lost' more weight than that and the breasts and belly are a gain on top of that greater loss. Does that make sense? So I've lost, say, 20lb off my original weight, but gained 12 lb of belly and breasts (numbers chosen for simplicity). But I feel good and like I said, am expanding, the numbers on the scale just aren't reflecting that, but whatever.
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#80 of 111 Old 09-11-2007, 11:38 PM
 
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I'm now 13w4d and back to -8lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. If I hadn't heard the baby's heartbeat I wouldn't think I'm pregnant...I've lost size in my abs and hips so I have no idea WHAT is going on. The next time I get measured and weighed at the gym is on the 20th so I'll see what's happening by then when I'm 15 weeks.

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#81 of 111 Old 09-12-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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13 weeks and down 15#. like others, more to spare, so not too concerned... just waiting to actually want to eat again. At least there isn't as much actual vomitting, but it's the wanting to eat that I miss...
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#82 of 111 Old 09-12-2007, 07:40 PM
 
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I'm curious....

Of those of you who are LOSING weight, were you overweight before you were pregnant?

I'm just getting nervous because I'm gaining while everyone else was losing on this thread... well, almost everyone.

But, if I had lost 15 pounds of pre-pregnancy weight I would be really sickly and probably couldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

Trin.
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#83 of 111 Old 09-12-2007, 07:45 PM
 
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I'm curious....

Of those of you who are LOSING weight, were you overweight before you were pregnant?

For me, yes, very overweight.

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
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#84 of 111 Old 09-12-2007, 10:31 PM
 
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I'm curious....

Of those of you who are LOSING weight, were you overweight before you were pregnant?

I'm just getting nervous because I'm gaining while everyone else was losing on this thread... well, almost everyone.

But, if I had lost 15 pounds of pre-pregnancy weight I would be really sickly and probably couldn't have gotten pregnant in the first place.

Trin.
No, I'm not overweight. I've lost 10ish pounds and I do look sickly. I barely look healthy at my normal weight. I hate being -10. It does NOTHING for me.
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#85 of 111 Old 09-13-2007, 12:23 AM
 
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According to BMI charts and all that, my pre-pregnancy weight is about 70lbs over the recommended amount, and about 40lbs more than my personally most comfortable weight. So I had plenty of room to lose, and that coupled with my sickness/queasiness is why I have lost weight. And like I said, I am still getting a belly, but am losing weight. If you're starting to look sickly then clearly that's a concern. But my doc told me I'm only supposed to gain 15-20lb for the duration of the pregnancy so you really can't compare your gain to that of others.
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#86 of 111 Old 09-13-2007, 12:31 AM
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about 5 lbs. My midwife will give me hell about it, not looking forward to the next visit!
I had an OB with my last pregnancy and I left crying after almost ever visit because of what they would say about my weight gain. I swear that I will quit any and all pregnancy care if it happens again. I don't think it will because my mw asked why I wouldn't go back to the OB and told her all they did was threaten to cut me open and make me feel bad about my weight.

Talk to your mw and tell her how you feel. If she continues to give you hell, tell her where to stick it.

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#87 of 111 Old 09-13-2007, 09:06 AM
 
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I had an OB with my last pregnancy and I left crying after almost ever visit because of what they would say about my weight gain
That is awful!! I am so sorry you had to go through that. People, and doctors especially can be so mean sometimes. I hope it doesn't happen again for you, or happen to anyone else for that matter!
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#88 of 111 Old 09-13-2007, 01:04 PM
 
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yes, I weigh more than I should. I lost 20# during the 1st tri with DS. No reason for concern at this time, and I am still growing my belly... definitely in maternity clothes already, which is weird, because my regular clothes from pre-preg don't fit, they are all loose, but I can definitely see the bump. Luckily, I am now at my pre-preg weight from DS, so my old maternity clothes fit. weird.
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#89 of 111 Old 09-13-2007, 04:18 PM
 
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I am 14w and have already gained 8 pounds! Last pregnancy, I gained most of my weight during the first trimester too. I am hoping it levels out. I eat really well, but have slowed down on the excercise front.
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#90 of 111 Old 09-13-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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13.5 weeks and I have gained 8 pounds. I have gained between 60-70 pounds each pregnancy and have lost it from breastfeeding each time. I am just a gainer. I had to gain five pounds to get pregnant this time, nursing really takes it off of me.

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mom to dd-99, dd-01, dd-born still@40w 7/04, ds-05, dd-08, dd-10, dd-13

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