the stupid things people say to pregnant women.... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 55 Old 01-11-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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It hasn't happened for a while now that I am further along but in the beginning I got it a few times :/

Ally
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#32 of 55 Old 01-11-2008, 05:57 PM
 
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Mostly these kill me - people can be so insensitive, and also just plain stupid, and it's funny with a bit of distance...

...and I was one of those people not that long ago (although I hope I limited myself to the more innocuous "wow, how huge" type comments, I hope, than the more intrusive/offensive ones, i really do hope). I thought it complimentary, reflective of awe, but I now realize how sensitive we all are, naturally, with our bodies ballooning out of our control.

We should compile these for some kind of humorous waiting room book...
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#33 of 55 Old 01-11-2008, 09:22 PM
 
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I have gotten ZERO comments from strangers. At first, I was kinda confused, but then I realized that I in live in Minnesota, where people would rather have root canals than be nosy
:

.........Must ask DH to apply to work at Minnesota Universities......



I've only gotten mad once so far. My sister and I were at a massive artisan fair looking at things. Out of the blue this really icky-vibe guy looks down at me and says "when are you due?" No "hi, how are you, Merry Christmas," etc.

I managed to say "none of your business" and we moved away from the area. It was the weirdest thing, he just gave off the weirdest vibes.
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#34 of 55 Old 01-11-2008, 10:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ameliabedelia View Post
...I get that except not the twins part (since I'm not having twins)..but I do get "you don't look big enough to be that far along. Or, you're not very big for being that far along. Or "is the baby growing well, you don't look any bigger than the last time I saw you" I hate, hate, hate that. Totally makes me feel like something is wrong.
Me too.

I had someone just yesterday tell me that I'm not nearly as big as I was with DD and I couldn't possibly be as far along as I am. Which is funny because I am bigger than before and have the pictures to prove it.


Most of the comments I've been getting have had to do with the fact that I already have a DD and this one is a boy. Just in the last two days, I've gotten these comments:

"So your first is a girl right, and this is a boy? Wow, instant family!"

This comment, btw, left me a little dumb-founded because regardless of gender, there was nothing instant about it (my kids will be 3 years apart).

"Now your family will be complete. Looks like you're all done!"

When I said that we are thinking of having a third, I got the deer-in-the-headlights look. It was pretty funny

"Now you'll have a picture-perfect family! One of each."

I don't even know what to say about this comment.

"I bet you're glad to finally have that boy!"

WTF? "Finally"? Um, it's only my second child. Besides, I actually adore by girl and would have been thrilled with another.

Mama to Boy (2) and Girl (5)
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#35 of 55 Old 01-12-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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"Have you considered adoption/abortion?"

Yes, I am serious about this...I am assuming I am being asked this because I'm single and not wealthy...but still.

Ally
If it makes you feel any better my dh & I had recently went through a seperation & had only began cohabitating together the weekend I found out I was pregnant (obviously at one point we did however share some bedroom time). Anyway I got several REALLY REALLY RUDE comments during my pg with her & shortly after she was born such as
"you know a baby won't make it better"
or this one was said to me when she was 3 weeks old at church " so is DH the daddy?"
I tell you what things must be drastically different in Minnesota than Louisiana because down here in the south in a town with a population of 2200 people LIVE to gossip ( I'm guilty myself at times)

wife to an amazing man and mom to my 5 amazing children sd (16), sd (13), d (5), son (2), & caboose d born 11/15/09 and two goats but they don't have anything for that
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#36 of 55 Old 01-12-2008, 01:35 PM
 
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I get asked a lot if I'm having twins. It's a nice way to say "OMFG YOU'RE HUGE!!!!!!!!!!!" I guess.

My granny told me to tie my tubes and acted annoyed when I said "UH NO."

Oh, and my husband's friend's girlfriend sent me a text message accusing me of intentionally stealing her dead baby's name just to hurt her. Because apparently when she had a first trimester miscarriage 5 or 6 years ago I was supposed to know that it was 1. A girl (which she obviously has no clue what it was) 2. That she had named it and what the name was and 3. That the name we chose for our little girl is the short form of that name (which it is NOT; it's Rory, which she thinks is short for Lorelai because of the Gilmore Girls, even though it's not)

So there. I steal dead baby's names.
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#37 of 55 Old 01-12-2008, 04:57 PM
 
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I walked into the lab on Thursday to get my blood drawn there was only 2 other people waiting so as I was signing in, and older lady sitting in the corner said:

"Welllll we know what you have been up to!"

I just told her, "Yeah when we can.....all our other kids are in the car with my husband"
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#38 of 55 Old 01-13-2008, 01:51 AM
 
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What inconsiderate people!!!

I've got the "So it's for pretty soon, huh?" (uh ok if you call 10 weeks from now soon...) and the "oh you're so small for x months" (Thanks! Now are you thinking to yourself the baby is poorly nourished or something?) and at the bakery when I got a cake for 4 people they made a joke I was just going to go home and eat it with my husband because I'm "eating for two" (gross, what, do I look like a total pig?)

People call me ma'am instead of miss now... and I'm starting to get lots of stares and people giving up their seats for me... so I guess I'm really showing!
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#39 of 55 Old 01-13-2008, 06:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by PixieAlly View Post
"Have you considered adoption/abortion?"

Yes, I am serious about this...I am assuming I am being asked this because I'm single and not wealthy...but still.

Ally
I feel you.

I was single and pregnant and in my final days working as a bartender I heard:
do you know who the father is?
um, yes, because unlike you, I can remember who I've slept with.

I don't know why you tell people you're pregnant, you don't even know if you're gonna have the baby or not. You could miscarry.
You are a

Are you lactating?
WTF? Are you 12?
Seriously, a grown man, who I believe was married and had children.

From a 'friend'
You should put it up for adoption so it can have 2 parents.
'It' is my baby, and he's going to have a parent who loves him.
Like the worst thing in the world is to only have one parent? : Or the possibility of NO parents is better?

From bio-dad
You're going to ruin your life!
No, you're afraid you've ruined yours. Nice.
This degenerated into an argument that ended with me telling him to get the f out of my car, which he did, before it had completely stopped moving. My dh finds this story incredibly amusing for some reason. I kinda do, too.

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#40 of 55 Old 01-13-2008, 06:15 AM
 
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Originally Posted by CherryBomb View Post
3. That the name we chose for our little girl is the short form of that name (which it is NOT; it's Rory, which she thinks is short for Lorelai because of the Gilmore Girls, even though it's not)

So there. I steal dead baby's names.
:

How the hell did they get Rory from Lorelai? I guess that makes even less sense than Meg for Margaret.

that would make a funny ddddc if only people wouldn't misinterpret it.

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#41 of 55 Old 01-13-2008, 12:51 PM
 
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Up until yesterday at my baby shower, the only comment that had gotten to me was "You don't look big enough to be xxx months along." At first, it made me feel bad/scared, like I wasn't eating enough protein for my baby. But then, at every prenatal appt, I found out I'm measuring right on schedule. So I've started responding to that with "My midwife says I'm measuring perfectly for xxx months." Pretty much shuts people up.

But at my baby shower yesterday, I got the most bizarre comment yet. A co-worker was saying good-bye at the end of the shower, and we were talking about when I'm due.

She scrunched up her shoulders and got a really nervous/anxious look on her face and said "I hope everything goes okay..."

All I could say in response was "Yeah, me too!"

What a weird thing to say. This woman is pretty weird in general, so I shouldn't be surprised. I can only guess that she meant I don't die in labor or something horrible like that? Jeez.

Expecting #2 in May 2013!

0***4***8***12***16***20***baby.gif***28***32***36***40

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#42 of 55 Old 01-13-2008, 02:22 PM
 
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I used to think it was the hormones that made pregnant women cranky.

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#43 of 55 Old 01-13-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bigeyes View Post
:

How the hell did they get Rory from Lorelai? I guess that makes even less sense than Meg for Margaret.

that would make a funny ddddc if only people wouldn't misinterpret it.


Yeah, according to her Rory is short for Lorelai. She claims that's "common knowledge" so even if I'm not a fan of Gilmore Girls, I should know. I couldn't find any name etymology websites that have Rory as the shortened from of Loreali. Someone I know who's a huge GG fan said that even in the show they don't claim it is- the girl's name is Lorelai, like her mom, but as a toddler she couldn't say it and it came out sounding like Rory, so she ended up with that as a nickname.

So yeah. SHE doesn't even know what she's talking about, but I'm supposed to!

Of course, same "friend" also gossips about me behind my back all the time and is very anti-Catholic and anti-homeschooling (and thinks we're irresponsible with our money and about to lose our house, neither of which is even remotely true) so it's not much of a loss, honestly. She's pretty two-faced. :
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#44 of 55 Old 01-14-2008, 04:01 AM
 
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I dont go out much so I dont hear anything too often, but the "wow you look huge" doesnt bother me a bit, i think because i havent gained any weight...

The one thing i do get, is people often ask me "How much have you gained?" like, would you ask a NON pregnant person that? lol! Then they get a SHOCKED look on their face when i say 4 pounds, and since my grandfather is usually around at the point (family gatherings) he will pipe in with "Yeah and she eats like a HORSE! Big Macs and fries every day" well yeah, i did when you were buying me lunch, but i dont now that i dont have a JOB, lol!

but i think it doesnt bother me because i havent gained anything that i know all my hugeness is baby, lol.

Artie, mom to Riley 3/22/08 and a surprise due Oct 2011!
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#45 of 55 Old 01-14-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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I got one today for the first time from DH. It was "Boy that dress makes you look huge from the side". Well anything makes me look huge from the side.
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#46 of 55 Old 01-14-2008, 04:17 PM
 
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She scrunched up her shoulders and got a really nervous/anxious look on her face and said "I hope everything goes okay..."

All I could say in response was "Yeah, me too!"

What a weird thing to say. This woman is pretty weird in general, so I shouldn't be surprised. I can only guess that she meant I don't die in labor or something horrible like that? Jeez.

I got a comment like this from a coworker too. This coworker's wife had a c/s for a failed induction and it was probably scary for both of them. I just assume it is part of the birth is dangerous mindset.
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#47 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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"Wow, you're really huge!"
Gee, thanks, I've gained all of 20 lbs...how huge did you think I was before I got pregnant??

"Are you sure you aren't having twins?"
Ya know, it is possible that we just completely missed one on the ultrasound...but I don't think so...

"I don't care what your doctor said, you're definitely having that baby any day now!"

...that last comment is my personal favorite, because at the time I still had 10 weeks left to go. And I happen to BE a doctor, and it was a patient who was insisting that my dates were off. Um, no - not that it's any of your business, lady, but we practice FAM and I know the day I ovulated and the day of implantation. So I'm actually extremely confident of my dates...but why on earth would you assume that YOUR OWN DOCTOR is too stupid to figure out when her baby is due?? :

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#48 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 01:29 PM
 
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So I'm actually extremely confident of my dates...but why on earth would you assume that YOUR OWN DOCTOR is too stupid to figure out when her baby is due?? :
My doc kept insisting my baby was due several weeks later than he was. I knew the instant I got pregnant, and I delivered exactly 40 weeks from that night. I had a second OB who made the same mistake, because they don't believe you could possibly have a clue yourself. Most doctors don't listen to their patients all that well in my experience.

I don't think anyone should assume that anyone else has no clue about when they are due, yk?

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#49 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 01:32 PM
 
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Oh! Doctormom! I misread your post. I thought you said you didn't understand why anyone would think your doctor wouldn't know when you were due!

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#50 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 03:34 PM
 
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My doc kept insisting my baby was due several weeks later than he was. I knew the instant I got pregnant, and I delivered exactly 40 weeks from that night. I had a second OB who made the same mistake, because they don't believe you could possibly have a clue yourself. Most doctors don't listen to their patients all that well in my experience.

I don't think anyone should assume that anyone else has no clue about when they are due, yk?
I've had that too...kind've...I know exactly when we conceived this baby, cause we don't DTD all that frequently, we were TTC, so I was taking OPTs daily...I know the exact date and time, to the minute, when this baby was conceived. I also know my cycle length for the 3 prior cycles, and it wasn't 28 days.

I've still had to argue with my doctors at EVERY APPOINTMENT about my dates, even though I'm measuring DEAD on for *MY* date, and *big* for THEIR dates.

The first time this happened, actually, I had just gotten through saying that I knew TO THE MINUTE when this baby was conceived, and the doctor told me I needed to schedule an ultrasound to get an accurate due date. Because, you know, I wasn't THERE when I got pregnant!!!!
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#51 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 03:46 PM
 
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I've had that too...kind've...I know exactly when we conceived this baby, cause we don't DTD all that frequently, we were TTC, so I was taking OPTs daily...I know the exact date and time, to the minute, when this baby was conceived. I also know my cycle length for the 3 prior cycles, and it wasn't 28 days.

I've still had to argue with my doctors at EVERY APPOINTMENT about my dates, even though I'm measuring DEAD on for *MY* date, and *big* for THEIR dates.

The first time this happened, actually, I had just gotten through saying that I knew TO THE MINUTE when this baby was conceived, and the doctor told me I needed to schedule an ultrasound to get an accurate due date. Because, you know, I wasn't THERE when I got pregnant!!!!


exactly. nobody ever believes anything you say when it comes to sex, I've found. In my case, I had just broken up with a live in bf, and had literally not had sex for months when I got pregnant. The second time I dtd with bio-dad I got a psychic flash that said I just got pregnant, and exactly 30 days later the doc hooked up the sonogram without a pregnancy test, yet at the next appointment he estimated me several weeks further along than I could possibly be. :

Yeah, cuz I was gettin' it so often I forgot.

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#52 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 04:08 PM
 
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I used to think it was the hormones that made pregnant women cranky.


My sister (who I totally jive with) asked me at dinner, in front of my husband and her boyfriend: "How much weight have you gained?" I laughed at her and said she shouldn't ever, ever ask another pregnant woman that question, especially in the company we were in. Silly.

Trin.
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#53 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 04:42 PM
 
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exactly. nobody ever believes anything you say when it comes to sex, I've found. In my case, I had just broken up with a live in bf, and had literally not had sex for months when I got pregnant. The second time I dtd with bio-dad I got a psychic flash that said I just got pregnant, and exactly 30 days later the doc hooked up the sonogram without a pregnancy test, yet at the next appointment he estimated me several weeks further along than I could possibly be. :

Yeah, cuz I was gettin' it so often I forgot.
The same with me! My doctor just WOULD NOT believe I could possibly know my dates. I knew the moment I conceived. I had had an ovarian pregnancy, so while I was being treated, I didn't have sex even once for three months. Then, I went in for one last ultrasound to make sure everything was out of my womb. It was empty. Two days later I TTC and that was the ONLY time I had sex those months. One week later, got a negative preg test. Two weeks later and still no more sex, I got a positive. Ten weeks later I was trying to convince my doctor I was exactly 12 weeks pregnant. He didn't believe me and even accused me of lying because I wouldn't let him give me an ultrasound! :

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#54 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 05:12 PM
 
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#55 of 55 Old 01-16-2008, 05:17 PM
 
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The same with me! My doctor just WOULD NOT believe I could possibly know my dates. I knew the moment I conceived. I had had an ovarian pregnancy, so while I was being treated, I didn't have sex even once for three months. Then, I went in for one last ultrasound to make sure everything was out of my womb. It was empty. Two days later I TTC and that was the ONLY time I had sex those months. One week later, got a negative preg test. Two weeks later and still no more sex, I got a positive. Ten weeks later I was trying to convince my doctor I was exactly 12 weeks pregnant. He didn't believe me and even accused me of lying because I wouldn't let him give me an ultrasound! :
And people, if they do believe you, will think you are a loon. I had been told I was sterile something like 14 years previous, so I freaked. Bio-dad had no clue why I was acting so weird until years later when I told him about it. I couldn't wait to call my clairvoyant friend to ask if I was imagining things. It wasn't quite like this: Go home, I have to make an important call!

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