Older child wants to wear diaper? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 11:13 AM - Thread Starter
 
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In the course of getting things ready for the new baby, there were some larger diapers left out. My dd just turned 3 and has been pilfering the newborn diapers for her dolls for several months, but she found one that was big enough for her to get on and has been wearing it at home for the last few days. She also found a stray pull-up at day care last week and had that on when I went to pick her up. She still uses the potty, and wears her panties over the diaper, so she's not actually "using" the diaper. We're not too crazy about this, and dh especially wanted to make her take it off last night. I was inclined to agree with him at first, but then wondered if it would be better to just ride it out. We did set some limitations-we ask her to take it off at bed time and she can't wear it out of the house. I'm sure it's somehow related to the new baby coming. My concern is mainly not wanting her to regress to having a lot of accidents or actually using the diaper at this point (she's been diaperless since right before her 2nd birthday). My other thought being that if this helps her deal with the transition, or not be jealous of the new baby, what difference does it make? Could this be meeting some need she has right now? I'd be glad to hear others thoughts, or what you would do? Or has anybody else had this happen? Thanks!
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#2 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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My oldest dd was just over 2-years-old when her twin sisters were born. She too went through a phase of wanting to do everything they did. Like sit in the swing, get in the cosleeper, etc. At the hospital she asked to nurse. She had just weaned the month before so I kind of expected it so I let her a couple of times and she stopped asking.

If she had been 4, I would have probably humored her with the diaper thing for a while and then gotten worried that she would regress just like you are now. Have you talked to her about how it has been fun to wear for a while but now that she's a big girl she gets to be special and wear big girl panties instead of diapers? You may be able to reason with her to get her to ditch the diaper on her own. I wish I had better words of wisdom for you.

Karen - Mama to Haven (9/00) , Lillie & Faith (MZ - 12/02) and my first homebirthed baby, Willa (3/08)
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#3 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 03:12 PM
 
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I can't tell you anything from experience, but I did read about this kind of behavior. The book said that when young children are facing new and scary experiences they sometimes regress to some behaviors from before part of the way (as in asking to nurse or asking to wear a diaper even if not using it) as a way of ensuring their own comfort levels and knowing that you are supportive of them, not replacing them. That make sense? So if I were in this situation, as long as she doesn't start using the diaper I would just wait it out and stress to her that she is important to me and that I love her no matter what. I think once she gets comfortable with the idea of the new baby, she'll stop. But again, this is all from what I read so take it with as much salt as you like *smiles*.
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#4 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 04:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks-that helps! She's really excited about the baby, so it kind of makes it hard remember or notice (especially when I'm tired all the time) signs that she might also need comfort, extra attention, etc. right now. Or she might not be showing any signs, but still need comfort-you know? She's also really gotten into dress up (her outfit of choice the last couple of days has been the diaper, her favorite velour pants, and a satiny princess shirt she got for Christmas) so part of it could just simply be "dress-up" like a baby (a pop star-esque princess baby?). At any rate, I'm thinking we'll just relax about it, continue to talk about the baby, and also stress how much we love her, etc. My guess is that I've probably spent more time worrying about this then it will take her to move onto something else that interests her.
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#5 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 04:58 PM
 
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We had a similiar experience with dd about a month ago, she's three too. When going through her old baby clothes to get ready for our new lo she saw a baby outfit that she loved and wanted to put on. It was 3 - 6 months. Now granted, dd is tiny but this didn't fit her! She wore it just on her arms hanging down her back for several days in a row. At first I was annoyed but then I just let her play in it. When getting out the carseat, swing and bouncy seat, she has also wanted to play in them. This lasted for a couple of weeks where she was pretending to be a baby. We let her ride it out. Over these past couple of weeks she's now over it. We have been stressing how proud we are of our big girl and all of the big girl things that she can do. She's now gone from playing baby to playing mommy. I think it's very natural for children to react this way when a new sibling is arriving. I wouldn't be surprised if dd starts acting like a baby again when our newest one arrives but we will just try to encourage her and support her. I would just let your dd play with the diapers and not make a big deal of it, especially since she's not actually using them. If she's anything like my dd, she'll probably be over it soon and move onto another thing.

HTH! Good luck!
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#6 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milky_mama View Post
When going through her old baby clothes to get ready for our new lo she saw a baby outfit that she loved and wanted to put on. It was 3 - 6 months. Now granted, dd is tiny but this didn't fit her! She wore it just on her arms hanging down her back for several days in a row.
:

My dd did the same thing, only it was with a new outfit. I found her in the living room with the pants about halfway up her legs.
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#7 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by delaneymom View Post
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My dd did the same thing, only it was with a new outfit. I found her in the living room with the pants about halfway up her legs.
Glad my dd isn't the only one who's three and wearing infant clothes!!
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#8 of 8 Old 01-16-2008, 07:34 PM
 
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Maybe you can distract her with some pink cowboy boots, a baseball hat, and a lovely tutu.
My youngest is 2 and we're trying to transition her out of diapers. My problem is that she's always insisting on underwear. And then she pees in them.
But she does love to put on clothes, take off clothes, find something new to wear, put it on. She doesn't care who it belongs to, so she could be wearing big brother's pants over her dress, big sister's hat, and another big sister's shoes. Or, the other day, I think it was underwear, a bathrobe, and a ski hat. Wacko!
Dressing up and playing pretend is a charming part of this age; my guess is your dd would probably love getting a little "Baby TLC", where she pretends to be the baby and you snuggle her like she's teeny tiny. Then she will probably want to get back to doing big girl stuff. Regression and needing attention are normal; getting some extra snuggles and not making the regression an issue is usually a pretty good treatment.
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