39+5...due on Thursday...allegedly. This is baby #4, so i guess i took it to heart when everyone said that i would go "early"
But my mw's pointed out that my baby doesn't know she is the fourth! She needs just as much time to grow to be healthy as my last three (first two at 42 weeks on the dot, one induced at 39 weeks--and she had some catching up to do in my opinion. Should have waited for her to be done cooking!)
And the other thing (and this is only a personal philosophy...so i am sorry if this rubs on anyones religious sensitivities the wrong way) is that we really believe that the baby's soul comes from somewhere...it might be in limbo, just waiting, it might be in training somewhere learning how to teach my dh and i all the lessons we need to learn...or it could still be in the body of someone who is already loved by a family. It would be selfish of me to wish loss and mourning on another family just to relieve my backache and swollen ankles...no matter how much i want to hold my new little one and sniff her soft head.
That being said, doesn't mean that i am zen-like or peaceful every moment i have to wait. I had a good cry-fest the other night...just sobbed on my dh...convinced that it will never happen, that if it does, she will be too big to birth, that my body will be too shot and fatigued to go through labor...that i am already too sore, too tired, too swollen, too immobilized by pregnancy to actually DO labor successfully. He just let me bawl and rubbed my back (i think he was looking for the "off" switch)...but it relieved tension and i got a good nights sleep.
So, 2 days away from my 'due date" and still here! I'll have ctx for 4 or 5 hours sometimes, mostly about 2-3 minutes apart...and then they peter out and stop. So i am quite convinced that my body has ambition, but no follow-through. We'll see...my mw's assure me that no one has ever been pregnant forever!
Justine--Wife to Sir Hubby, HBAC Momma to 5 kiddos including Lazlo born 1/6/10 gently at home!