Ok..I reread the first two chapters...
Holly initially felt uncomfortable walking to her car. Why do you think she declined the ride from another mom?
She felt embarassed and that she would be making a big deal out of nothing. She ignored her fear signals by telling herself she was being silly.
DeBecker says that fear took over when Holly and the man got to her car. How did fear help her in this situation?
At that point there was no more reason for excuse making. The man was there and her worst fear had come true, that he wanted to hurt her, and worse, her daughter so her fear helped her fight with all she had to protect her child. Her wild brain took over because she was doing things without even realizing it like honking her horn and gouging his eyes.
On page 16, he offers some startling facts about sexual abuse(when talking about denial). Are these a surprise to you? Do they change anything you had thought about sexual abuse and children?
No, because I knew that sexual abuse happens more often with people kids know then with strangers, however, the strong denial of obvious signals was surprising.
What are ways that intuition communicates with us? Can you share an example of a time your intuition told you something about protecting your children?
When my soon-to-be-ex husband threatened to kill his child and my mother and me I took it seriously. His family acted as if it were all talk and I should let it go but he had been acting weird before that and I wasn't taking the chance so I got a pfa. Also, about a year ago I was considering taking him back as he hadn't done or said anything violent in 5 years. We agreed he would move back in soon but half the night I couldn't sleep even though nothing scary had happened...I just had a nagging feeling that I couldn't ignore. I told him I wasn't ready yet and we at least need to see a therapist first. His rage over my decision proved my intuition was correct.
On p.29, Jane asks "Your sitter is a good driver, right?" Do you think that anyone would have said, "No, she isn't?" What do you think of the ways she used denial to soothe her feelings about the babysitter's driving?
I think she knew her friend was going to say yes she is because otherwise she wouldn't be letting her drive her kids around, she was denying by asking her friend...she also probably didn't want to offend her friend by questioning her judgment of the sitter so she told herself many excuses, even that she herself speeds at times.
At the bottom of p.39, he asks a very interesting question: which is sillier: waiting a moment for the next elevator, or placing her child and herself into a soundproof steel chamber with someone she is afraid of? Are you able to look at situations like he does?
I am trying to be better at this. I am naturally a shy person who also tries very hard to be polite..so I have to trust my intuition more. My daughter is also extremely polite so I am trying to teach her to honor her intuition at a young age and I am very pleased when she asks about funny feelings and all that.
How do we deal with wanting to be polite to people, while honoring our intuition when we feel uncomfortable?
Oops, I was starting to say that with the last question..sorry...well, I think, as I said, it is hard because I feel so many people are rude and I don't want to live my life distrusting people and teaching my daughter to be like that. I guess it is a matter of your gut...we have to learn to trust it..God gave us these instincts for a reason..and I know later in the book he gives specific things someone will do so I would go by that..like if a man wont accept my firm no then too bad, I am protecting my child.
Off to re-read chapter 3...