i think i may have been abandoned over in ch 4 thread...so here i am, i found you!!!
i'm having an issue right now w/ UPing my dd. i feel to nip her behavior in the bud i am needing to resort to more of a dr. sears approach from their book "the discipline book". i don't agree w/ everything and am more of a TI mama than a TO mama... but i have to admit, i put the reward board back up and my dd's goals now are to mind me and my mom, to be nice, no teasing.
dd is having huge 'acting out' issues at school (not to mention here at home and w/ her friends' on playdates...). i feel like we keep going round and round. or maybe its just cuz i go to extremes...either i'm very calm, loving and patient and am a UPing mama..actually i think i don't have that down yet cuz i think i'm more permissive than UPing when it comes to my dd's nasty attitude or mean-ness towards her friends...i don't know how to UP her on out of that...she won't budge.
.or the other extreme is that i get fed up and angry and wind up way too authoritative and downright frightening. i frighten myself when i'm like that.
so. i don't know how else to end this nasty cycle but to do the reward board and have goal rewards and then have consequences that result in something taken away... it is working so far. i've been calm for the most part and she responds to this very well. so i'm somewhere in the middle of where i was. i'm following thru for sure. i don't know how to do it in an alfie way........my dd was awful to her friends at school yesterday and i got desperate.
i'm embarassed to admit this on here but for now, that's the way i'm going to parent dd... until this all stops for more than a week and then i'll probably go back to UP. sigh.
this is all my fault, i know...for not being consistent in my parenting UP. i feel just awful. but you know, i was raised extremely inconsistently so i can see why i am too now that my dd is older...when she was younger it was so much easier for me to UP. now that i'm a single mom again and she is 6.5yo............enough said. lol i'll still hang on here though and learn...