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#1 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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For me, I think you shouldnt drink AT ALL and drive, dh thinks a few beers is ok.

Am I totally weird? What is your rule?
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#2 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:51 AM
 
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For me, I think you shouldnt drink AT ALL and drive, dh thinks a few beers is ok.

Am I totally weird? What is your rule?
*I* don't drink and drive AT ALL because one beer can make me buzz (especially because I haven't been drinking much in the last few years with pregnancies and nursings).

But, my husband can have a couple of beers, especially with food and feel no effects. So, I am comfortable with him have a couple and still driving. BUT I also trust him that he would never drink when buzzed.
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#3 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:52 AM
 
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Well my DH use to think that to. Until he got a DUI with a .08 limit.

He's learned more than he would have ever imagined going through the court system. They dropped the charge, but he had to take classes, a victim impact panel and pay heavy fines.

You can lose your job, house, family- and the very worst, you can hurt or kill innocent people.

With a mere .08.

I have zero tolerance for it. My husband now agrees.
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#4 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:53 AM
 
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I think one beer is okay, consumed with a meal, if it's not a high alcohol content beer. More than that is too much. I personally do not drink at all if I am going to drive.
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#5 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:54 AM
 
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Everyone processes alcohol differently based on their own metabolism, weight and how fast they drink. Each person has to know their own limits.

Our rule is that we know when we shouldn't drive, and therefore someone else does in that case. That hasn't happened since dd was born, though. At most dh has 2 glasses of wine and usually, I have only 1 over the course of a long dinner. This amount wouldn't stop either of us from driving.

I guess the rule is that if you are feeling high, you're too high to drive.
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#6 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:59 AM
 
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Hmm. I think we need more context to better answer the question you are posing. Can you give a better picture of what exactly you mean by a few beers, and the time frame in which they were consumed?

If the situation is one where the driver had one or two glasses of wine/beer over say a 2 to 4 hour period (and he hadn't consumed any alcohol for an hour or so prior to driving,) then I would conclude that driving was likely just fine. However, if we are talking about someone drinking those couple of beers in a very short time frame and then driving a car I would think that was very dangerous and say it shouldn't be done.

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#7 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 12:05 PM
 
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I am probably extremely biased right now on this since we almost lost someone very close to our family yesterday morning from drunk driving.

Honestly, I have had it with anyone and everyone who drinks and drives. Even just a little bit. I couldn't care less if they lock people up and throw away the key for a first time offense now. I think they should even. The deaths that are happening all around us from this are way too many. In the last six months a girl was run down and killed two and a half miles from our house. Two people were put in intensive care after rolling their car across the road from the house. Someone swerved into the ditch and ripped the whole tire off their car in the front yard. Someone else destroyed their car after hitting a tree, which was the only thing keeping them from smashing into our neighbor's living room, and then stole their car! This last one is a guess that they were drunk, but it seems like they were. We were almost hit head on two houses away from home last night when someone driving at a high rate of speed completely blew a stop sign while making a 90 degree right hand turn right at us. All of that is just stuff that has happened right by our house and doesn't even begin to touch on all the rest of the stuff that has happened just outside of that. It's out of freaking control here.

It's a good thing I am not in a position to make decisions because I would say that no one could drive at all even if they just had one drink. I think the line between "I am okay" and "Maybe I shouldn't drive" is becoming invisible to way too many people.
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#8 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 12:06 PM
 
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Anyone who is driving with me or m DD should have not had a drop of alchol in the past 12 hours. Better sae then sorry.
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#9 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 12:45 PM
 
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If my kids or any other kids are in the car I don't care who you are, you don't drink or smoke or be under the influence of any drugs.
If it's just hubby & I and he's had one drink, I let it go but only if it has been like 4 hours since he drank. He's good about it because he's a reservist in the military and if he gets busted drinking & driving his military career is over after 14 years.
For myself if it is just me going with someone else I won't if they've had more than one drink. I've been known to take the bus or walk somewhere or take a cab. I won't lower my standards for that. I have kids that need me.
I wish they woudl get stricter on drinking & driving. There is literally ZERO need for it. Drinking alcohol is not a necessity so it's not necessary to drink & drive. JMO
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#10 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 12:52 PM
 
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I also want to clarify that just becasue someone thinks they aren't drunk or aren't buzzed.

I found this site and thought it was pretty informative.

http://howto.dcrdetox.com/how-long-d...in-your-system
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#11 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 02:44 PM
 
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We have an Alcohawk in the glove compartment. I tried it (when DH was driving and I wasn't) after having a glass of wine with dinner. I'd had it near the beginning of the meal. I blew a .04, and based on how I felt, I would have been comfortable driving, but would have given preference to another driver who had not had a drink.

DH won't drink at all if he's driving, unless he knows it's going to be several hours (like 4 or more) until he leaves.

There's lots of factors: your own metabolism/how you feel, where you are with respect to the legal limit, how good a driver you are when sober ;-), how long until you have to drive, whether you've eaten, how fast you drink. You have to know a *lot* about your body and chemistry to safely imbibe alcohol before driving, so the safest is to not do it if you're not sure.

BTW, the reason they can't do "zero tolerance" is because many medicines and foods have alcohol in them. They could lower the limit a lot, I suppose, but you wouldn't want to charge people with drunk driving because they had tiramisu for dessert or took some cough syrup.
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#12 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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Anyone who is driving with me or m DD should have not had a drop of alchol in the past 12 hours. Better sae then sorry.
That's more extreme than I follow.

It generally takes about one hour for a person to metabolize the alcohol in one alcoholic beverage. I don't see a problem getting in the car with somebody who had 1 drink an 2 hours ago, or 2 drinks 3 hours ago, etc. So, wait a bit longer than should be needed to metabolize all the alcohol.

Say, for example, the driver has one glass of wine with the meal, and the meal lingers 1.5-2 hours. I would have no problem getting into that car. However, if the person has a mixed drink at dessert and then wants to drive home 10 minutes after finishing it, I wouldn't get in the car with that person- no matter how little he or she had drunk earlier in the day. A mixed drink at dessert, then we schmooze for another couple of hours and drink coffee or soda, and getting in the car is fine.

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#13 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 06:38 PM
 
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Any alcohol can impare your abilities - and particularly at night when you're already impared from lack of light - if you're planning to drive, you shouldn't drink.

My aunt was killed by a drunk driver, left behind two children (and no father). Hit & run, as she was jogging with her dog (who was also killed), with a light vest, and one on her dog too.

I have been rear ended with my two children in the car by a drunk driver. Just plowed into the back of us, as we had been stopped at a light (which had been red, and us already stopped for a good minute), she was going 40 - 50 miles per hour - our car was completely totalled - undrivable - not even MOVABLE from the scene of the accident. If I had not been driving the car I had been driving, and my kids not in the seats they were in... I'd HATE to even THINK of what could have happened. She attempted to flee the scene, but passed out before she could get far enough away (she had hit her windsheild).

There's just never a reason to drink & drive. If you're going to drink, either stay in, or have an alternate way to get home. It's that simple.

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#14 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 10:34 PM
 
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I also want to clarify that just becasue someone thinks they aren't drunk or aren't buzzed.
I wanted to clarify when my husband does drink when out, it is with food over time. He is a big guy.

I think that absolutely no drinking before driving is extreme. But, one should definitely be responsible.
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#15 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:06 PM
 
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My husband is a big guy and it takes a LOT for him to "feel" drunk. He had one beer over the course of a 2 hour happy hour and then got pulled over in a routine police checkpoint. He blew a .04! Legally that was fine (the limit is .08 here) but I was really surprised and it was a lesson to us not to drink and drive!
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#16 of 50 Old 03-15-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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I think 1 drink with dinner is ok, driving 1-2 hours after that drink is consumed. Yeah, in a perfect world no one would touch any alcohol before driving. But practically speaking, I feel fine with dh driving after 1 drink. For us, it never really comes up (we so rarely go out).

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#17 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 12:03 AM
 
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If, for example, we've gone to someone's house for dinner, I'll have a pre-dinner alcoholic drink, stick to non-alcoholic drinks for the remainder of the 3-4 hrs we are there, and would feel comfortable driving home. But any more than that, and I would be catching a taxi.

Our legal limit is a fair bit lower here in Oz (0.05) and it's easy to end up over the limit, even if you're following the 'guidelines' (over here - for women - one standard drink each hour). A friend of mine was our designated driver one night (pre-kids) ... followed the guidelines and was pulled over for a random breath test. She lost her licence for 3 months for being over the limit. My husband, NOT our designated driver, who'd had about 6 beers in 2 hrs, blew 0.00. Metabolism has a lot to do with it.

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#18 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 02:28 AM
 
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One beer with food.
He doesn't drive until after at least a couple of hours after he's consumed the beer.
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#19 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 02:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sunflowergirll;13368382
But, my husband can have a couple of beers, especially with food [B
and feel no effects [/B]. So, I am comfortable with him have a couple and still driving. BUT I also trust him that he would never drink when buzzed.
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Originally Posted by velochic View Post
Everyone processes alcohol differently based on their own metabolism, weight and how fast they drink. Each person has to know their own limits.

Our rule is that we know when we shouldn't drive, and therefore someone else does in that case. That hasn't happened since dd was born, though. At most dh has 2 glasses of wine and usually, I have only 1 over the course of a long dinner. This amount wouldn't stop either of us from driving.

I guess the rule is that if you are feeling high, you're too high to drive.
The trouble with the attitude I see expressed in these statements is that it fails to account for the fact that the first thing alcohol impairs is our judgment. Which means that lots of people (maybe everyone) will think they are fine to drive when in fact they are not.

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Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama View Post
I am probably extremely biased right now on this since we almost lost someone very close to our family yesterday morning from drunk driving.

Honestly, I have had it with anyone and everyone who drinks and drives. Even just a little bit.
:

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Originally Posted by tayndrewsmama View Post
It's a good thing I am not in a position to make decisions because I would say that no one could drive at all even if they just had one drink. I think the line between "I am okay" and "Maybe I shouldn't drive" is becoming invisible to way too many people.
It is not just that the line is becoming invisible to people, it is that we believe that we can judge when we are safe to drive or not, and since alcohol impairs judgment, this is not possible.


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Originally Posted by prettymatty View Post
If my kids or any other kids are in the car I don't care who you are, you don't drink or smoke or be under the influence of any drugs.
If it's just hubby & I and he's had one drink, I let it go but only if it has been like 4 hours since he drank. He's good about it because he's a reservist in the military and if he gets busted drinking & driving his military career is over after 14 years.
For myself if it is just me going with someone else I won't if they've had more than one drink.
Since there are sure to be kids in other cars you pass on the road, it seems crazy to me to have different standards based on whether there are kids in your vehicle or not.

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Originally Posted by prettymatty View Post
I wish they woudl get stricter on drinking & driving. There is literally ZERO need for it. Drinking alcohol is not a necessity so it's not necessary to drink & drive. JMO
: : :

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There's lots of factors: your own metabolism/how you feel, where you are with respect to the legal limit, how good a driver you are when sober ;-), how long until you have to drive, whether you've eaten, how fast you drink. You have to know a *lot* about your body and chemistry to safely imbibe alcohol before driving, so the safest is to not do it if you're not sure.
There are so many factors that it will be different every time, and again, because of alcohol's effect on the part of the brain that controls judgment, the safest is to not do it at all, because even if you are "sure" you could easily be wrong, and the potential consequences are way too high.

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Originally Posted by Ks Mama View Post
Any alcohol can impare your abilities - and particularly at night when you're already impared from lack of light - if you're planning to drive, you shouldn't drink.
There's just never a reason to drink & drive. If you're going to drink, either stay in, or have an alternate way to get home. It's that simple.
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I think 1 drink with dinner is ok, driving 1-2 hours after that drink is consumed. Yeah, in a perfect world no one would touch any alcohol before driving. But practically speaking, I feel fine with dh driving after 1 drink. For us, it never really comes up (we so rarely go out).
Shouldn't we all do our best to act the way we thinks things would be in a perfect world? Obviously that is not always possible, and sometimes the "practically speaking" part takes precedence. But, on a safety related issue, where it is absolutely within our control to live the higher standard, I see no excuse for making a choice that can endanger other people.
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#20 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 04:21 AM
 
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Your dh is wrong. A few beers can impair someone enough to kill someone else's child, someone else's mother, father, grandparent, sister, brother, and so on. Your dh is completely wrong and out of line and I hope you set him straight. I also hope you refuse to get in the car with him behind the wheel if he has been drinking and refuse to allow your children to go. Also, I take it an extra step. If I know someone has been drinking and is getting behind the wheel, I call the police immediately and give them the location of the car, a description, the license plate number, and the direction headed if known.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k4CZ...om=PL&index=21

The guy "just had a few beers." Apparently, he felt his party was more important than these children's lives.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uynkcggf_Nk

I could go on and on. But if your dh can watch these videos and feel no emotion or change his ways, then there are some serious issues there.

Good luck.

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#21 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 01:46 PM
 
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My husband is also a big guy - 6' 4" and 220lbs and it doesn't take alot for him to get buzzed. He has 3 beer and he's totally feeling it. It takes him longer to feel the effects of hard alcohol but they are still there. Your size really doesn't matter when it comes to drinking. I can have 6 strawberry margaritas before I start to feel buzzed so is it safe for me to be driving after I have had 4? I'm 5'9" and about 130lbs.

When I said if my kids or other kids are in my car the driver won't be drinking, I know that there are other people on the road who have are drinking and driving with no kids in the car. There should be no double standard. In this day & age there is no reason for drinking & driving. There are cabs, transit buses, if you live 10 minutes from restaurant you can walk, etc. I just said that in MY case, no one drinks & drives in a car where my kids are. If someone else chooses to do it thinking they are "OK" to drive, then there is really not much else I can do but I am responsible for my own kids.
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#22 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 05:13 PM
 
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Well my DH use to think that to. Until he got a DUI with a .08 limit.

With a mere .08.
"mere .08"? That's been the blood alcohol limit for years and years. And a lot more goes into reaching that limit than the quantity of alcohol consumed.

Even before the baby, I wasn't much of a drinker, but there's no way in *hell* I'd take a cab or walk because I'd had some alcohol--like a swallow of wine, for instance. I did drive when dh had a beer at dinner, but to say "any alcohol don't drive" is just stupid. If you're going that route, do you also take the bus to work whenever you got less than 6 hours of sleep? Or walk to the grocery store when you've had an asprin?
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#23 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 05:25 PM
 
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A few beers is too many, if you're talking about like during the course of one dinner. The general rule is one serving of alcohol (which is smaller than most people are aware) per hour. I have no problem with that. And I've lost someone to a drunk driver too, but that drunk driver had way more than one serving of alcohol per hour. I don't think it's fair to compare a very drunk driver to someone who has one beer or one glass of wine with dinner.
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#24 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 06:20 PM
 
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I don't think it's fair to compare a very drunk driver to someone who has one beer or one glass of wine with dinner.
Maybe not a fair comparison, but since everyone metabolizes alcohol differently, and it effects everyone differently... there really is no way to compare how one person w/one drink vs really one person w/lots of drinks actually compares. Honestly, as I don't drink, I'm sure one drink in an hour would make me drunk. It certainly would put me beyond the point of feeling comfortable driving - either with my children in the car or without. So just not driving if you're going to be drinking, and not drinking if you're going to be driving is really the only fair rule.

Honestly, if you want to talk unfairness, its taking away a child's mother due to utter selfishness & irresponsibility & laziness.

Or, putting a family through months of financial difficulty & paperwork & anxiety & fear of driving simply because in the name of fun/enjoyment/entertainment or a misdirected sense of entitlement a person can get behind the wheel of an automobile with any amount of alcoholic imparement .

That is unfair. I'm really not concerned about being fair in comparing a little drunk to a lot drunk. ANY amount of drunk = don't drive.

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#25 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 08:18 PM
 
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That is unfair. I'm really not concerned about being fair in comparing a little drunk to a lot drunk. ANY amount of drunk = don't drive.

Having one drink over an hour isn't going to make anyone drunk. Alcohol is metabolized quickly. So that person isn't drunk, and isn't going to cause anyone to lose a family member.

Quote:
So just not driving if you're going to be drinking, and not drinking if you're going to be driving is really the only fair rule.
I think that's ridiculous, and no it isn't fair. And, again, people who died because people who actually were drunk were driving is irrelevant as far as people who aren't drunk are involved. And, again, I have lost a loved one to a drunk driver. Someone who actually was drunk. Someone else having one glass of wine with dinner is a completely unrelated issue.
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#26 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 08:28 PM
 
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I think it's a grand idea to keep a Breathalyzer in the glove compartment. Once am no longer pg, I think I will get one. It sort of settles the issue of impaired judgment, eh?

Drinking and driving basically never comes up for us unless I go to a Mom's Night Out. Dh is not much of a drinker. But it seems silly to me not to have a drink at Mom's Night Out when I'm out doing my errands the night after an infant has woken me up 5 times!
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#27 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 11:12 PM
 
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Even before the baby, I wasn't much of a drinker, but there's no way in *hell* I'd take a cab or walk because I'd had some alcohol--like a swallow of wine, for instance. I did drive when dh had a beer at dinner, but to say "any alcohol don't drive" is just stupid. If you're going that route, do you also take the bus to work whenever you got less than 6 hours of sleep? Or walk to the grocery store when you've had an asprin?
i don't drink if i've had any alcohol. that is my rule for myself, and it isn't "stupid."

i am careful about driving depending on how much sleep i've had, but they've proven that sleep depravation can be as impairing as being drunk.

i don't take asprin, but if i did i think i'd be ok to drive after that
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#28 of 50 Old 03-16-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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If I'm drinking, I'm not driving. Same for DH. If we go out knowing we're going to have wine with dinner (which is a rarity), then we'll order 1 glass and split it, and linger over dessert and coffee. Since Dh will have drunk the lion's share (and I've just tasted), I'll usually drive home. Usually though, if he wants a beer he'll drink a beer and hand me the keys, even though legally he'd be fine. He is very strict about that. I am not a drinker, really, particularly since we've been TTC for so many years, so it's not really an issue for me. We never go out and both drink... if we want to drink, we have a stocked bar at home.

The only time we really drink more than a glass is when we go to Vegas, and there's no driving involved. Even then we're talking about splitting a bottle of wine over dinner, not tossing back shooters all night.

I guess we're a bit of teetotalers.

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#29 of 50 Old 03-17-2009, 12:21 AM
 
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DH or I will have a drink with a meal and drive. We are very, very concious of driving impaired. HOWEVER, the legal limit is there for a reason, it's not just a random number. Studies have shown that drivers under .08 are not impaired. I have ZERO tolerance for driving while impaired. DH and I enjoy good wine and beer, and usually do so when we are staying for a LONG while (like all day at my dads, a couple drinks) or when we are home. On the rare occaisions we go out without kids, we also enjoy a glass of wine or a beer, one, A, drink, with dinner over 2 or 3 hours. I totally respect those of you who don't drink at all, or don't drink at all and drive, but I do think that it is unfair to say that those of us who are careful and concious, who limit ourselves to one drink in a two hour dinner, or two in a 6 hour afternoon, are putting ourselves or others at unreasonable risk.

There are many other forms of dangerous driving, including talking on cell phones, texting, putting on makeup, eating, etc. I lost a friend in high school who was just changing a CD and drifted over the center line, hit head on, died on impact. I lost a friend from drinking and driving (driver of the other car was still drunk the next morning on the way to work). I nearly lost my mom and sister in the broad day light, unimpaired, because the other driver was distracted looking at a map. I have several other stories that lead me to be a CPST Instructor now. Driving can be deadly. Period.

My bottom line is that driving is a responsibility and one you need to take seriously everytime you get behind a wheel. We all need to be aware of our actions when we drive. But it is unfair to say that those of us who will have one drink with dinner and drive are endangering those around us.

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#30 of 50 Old 03-17-2009, 12:24 AM
 
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My stepmother was killed by a drunk driver, so in our family, we have a zero tolerance. If one of us drinks, we don't drive.

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