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#31 of 45 Old 04-08-2009, 11:48 PM
 
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Well, by "the fear of death", I really mean do mean fear. A couple of the suggestions here to gently explain the dangers aren't really what I'm talking about. I don't think they'll "get" a gentle explanation of the dangers as much as they'll get your reaction to them being in danger.

Ironically, DD did this very thing this morning. Today is the first time in her life (she's 3) that she's attempted to walk out the front door without me. This is exactly how I reacted, to which her little eyes welled up with tears, and she ran up to me and threw her arms around my waist and said "I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry mommy, I won't go without you". She was really scared because I was scared. She thought she was in danger. And realistically, she was. If I hadn't have caught her going out, I shudder to think what could have happened (we live on a busy street, both neighbors have big loose dogs, etc).

I know fear isn't a popular motivator around here, but when it comes to safety I'm all about it. Especially in that age bracket where explaining potential dangers is going way over their head.

All day long every time I went outside or opened the front door, my daughter warned me to watch out for the dogs or be careful of cars. She saw my fear of the potential dangers. She experienced it. She sort of gets it now. I don't think she would have got it had I just tried to gently explain it, you know?

As she gets older she'll grow into the conversations based on reasoning, but for now, she's sees the fear associated with the dangers, and that's Ok with me if it keeps her safe.

ETA: I put a spare gate across the door for today incase she tried to attempt it again. One more obsticle to climb over before I catch her. Tomorrow we'll put some sort of a chain or latch up high. We'll see what Home Depot has that will work on our door.

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#32 of 45 Old 04-08-2009, 11:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know fear isn't a popular motivator around here, but when it comes to safety I'm all about it. Especially in that age bracket where explaining potential dangers is going way over their head. .
What did you do to make her fear it? Unfortunately for me, Sophia is a Leo through and through and excitement and even yelling entertain her love of drama. i don't think I could scare her if I wanted to.

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#33 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ETA: I put a spare gate across the door for today incase she tried to attempt it again. One more obsticle to climb over before I catch her. Tomorrow we'll put some sort of a chain or latch up high. We'll see what Home Depot has that will work on our door.
hehe, they dismantled the baby gates before they could walk, which for both of them, was at the age of 10 months, so before 10 months old, they had climbed over, broken, taken apart, moved, played with the 4 different types of gates that I'd used up to that point including the metal, extra tall, double locking top and bottom with only vertical bars gate my mom bought for her house.

Mechanically inclined super houdinis is an under statement for my problem solvers. And it only takes them seconds. Not minutes, seconds, to figure these things out.

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#34 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 12:28 AM
 
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What did you do to make her fear it? Unfortunately for me, Sophia is a Leo through and through and excitement and even yelling entertain her love of drama. i don't think I could scare her if I wanted to.
Just my reaction, I guess. The same thing happened when she found a snake in the backyard. And being in South Florida, and at the time across the street from a canal (home of the deadly water moccasin) I FLIPPED OUT. A healthy fear of deadly snakes and wandering out into traffic is A-OK with me.

Have you ever had a knee jerk reaction to someone walking into something, or stepping on something, or touching something hot, or anything like that? Your voice is usually raised, and it's usually a loud warning with lots of alarming body language? Well, do that. Times a million.

I remember one time while camping a friend was being silly and I thought he was going to topple over backward into the fire. I was in the process of putting a marshmallow onto a stick and I literally dropped all of it, jumped out my seat, put my arms out, and shouted "WATCH OUT" as I pushed him. He swears to this day he wasn't about to fall, but that my reaction scared the crap out of him more than the fire. We both sat there for a minute in shock - me because I thought he almost fell into the fire, and him because I moved so quick and shoved him, he says, "like 15 feet into the air" ( .. dork LOL) with a crazy look on my face.

Even as adults he'd tease me by walking up to the fire pit holding his hands up going "it's Ok, I SEE the fire, don't tackle me".

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#35 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 01:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We both sat there for a minute in shock - me because I thought he almost fell into the fire, and him because I moved so quick and shoved him, he says, "like 15 feet into the air" ( .. dork LOL) with a crazy look on my face.

Even as adults he'd tease me by walking up to the fire pit holding his hands up going "it's Ok, I SEE the fire, don't tackle me".
: dork

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#36 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 01:16 AM
 
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We LOVE Jonh Walsh's Safe Side dvd and cd! There is a song called "dont open the door" Check it out. Maybe they will feel empowered- like big kids who can do the right thing...the dvd is great for this, not scary but teaching kids to "stay on the safe side" https://www.thesafeside.com/Store/Default.asp Make sure you get the dvd AND cd- very catchy songs about staying safe. hth
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#37 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 01:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We LOVE Jonh Walsh's Safe Side dvd and cd! There is a song called "dont open the door" Check it out. Maybe they will feel empowered- like big kids who can do the right thing...the dvd is great for this, not scary but teaching kids to "stay on the safe side" https://www.thesafeside.com/Store/Default.asp Make sure you get the dvd AND cd- very catchy songs about staying safe. hth

The website says it's for kids 5-8 so I wonder if it's not interesting for my 2.5 year old. She does love songs, though. I do like the idea of incorporating it into a song for her.

Hmm, I listened to the example of the songs and I can't hardly understand the lyrics, so i doubt Sophia would. Maybe I'll make up a song for her myself.

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#38 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 01:35 PM
 
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From the time my little brother was 3 until 10 (not needed at 10, there was just some inertia) the way you opened the front door on the inside was to stick a spoon handle in the hole where the door knob was removed.
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#39 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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i was like that as a child leo when i was 2 and beyond. id drag the high chair and climb up the fridge to get the cookies. id go outside, pass the gates, and jump in the pool and swim out even though i wasnt taught to swim. my parents could fool me on absolutely nothing. i was probably 3 years old when theyd put me in the car at night to drive me around so id fall asleep - theyd tell me we are going to an aunt's house; id recognize and say "this isnt the way to her house".

i think theres just nothing you can do with us leos. that's why i wanted to make sure i didnt have a leo myself! :sheepish:

good luck!

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#40 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 04:11 PM
 
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I'd never thought of having to do this until DD1 was one yo and playing in the living room while I was in the bedroom putting clothes away. I heard her crying and came to find her standing on the front porch (it was summer and the wood was hot on her feet). If that hadn't been the case--the wood hot enough to stop her in her tracks--I don't know what would've happened.

I have found that (in our house) if the big wooden front door is closed (instead of just the glass storm door) my girl won't try to leave. Amazing. If I'm in a different part of the house or putting the baby down, though, I lock it (she doesn't know how to unlock). Better safe than sorry.
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#41 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 05:55 PM
 
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Some of the songs are a litlle "rocky", but don't open the door is clear I think the ages mentioned are because thats the age when kids are taught to stay on the safe side, have 3 safeside adults etc as shown in the video. My 3 year old nephew loves it!
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#42 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 06:04 PM
 
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We did the lock at the top of the door and take the child to the bathroom with me and the child in the tub (without water, not for a bath). I started the tub thing because ds2 likes to peer into the toilet between my butt and the seat while I go and it drives me crazy. I think the harness idea is great or a baby gate at the bathroom door and take her with you so she cannot get out of the room while you go. You didn't want privacy did you?

ETA the tub thing doesn't really confine him, it just slows him down a bit buying me time.

You don’t owe them an explanation, just a response.
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#43 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 07:03 PM
 
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ds2 likes to peer into the toilet between my butt and the seat while I go and it drives me crazy.
OMG, I just snorted tea. : My daughter does this too, especially since we made the final leap of potty learning (which is to poop in the toilet, too).

Not only does she like to watch, but she likes to play 20 questions. "Are you peeping or pooping?".. and my all time favorite "is it coming out?". The thought of my 3 year old asking me if ANYTHING is coming out of my body creeps me the heck out. lol

Glad I'm not the only one.

Frankenstein never scared me. Marsupials do. Because they're FAST.
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#44 of 45 Old 04-09-2009, 07:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think the harness idea is great or a baby gate at the bathroom door and take her with you so she cannot get out of the room while you go. You didn't want privacy did you?
Gates haven't worked since they were 10 months old.
I still can't find that darn harness!
I don't have any need for privacy. They normally come with me everywhere I go. Lately, Sophia is becoming more independent, and with it, more opportunistic. I need to find that harness!

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#45 of 45 Old 04-11-2009, 01:32 PM
 
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I am with everyone else on this one, put a lock at the top of the door.

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