DH refuses to keep OTC and prescription drugs out of DS reach - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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They are sitting on the bathroom counter where DS can easily reach. The other night DS picked up the blood pressure pills and opened it. Yes, he knows how to open the caps where you have to push down and turn at the same time. I did not teach him to do that. I do not know how to get through to H. I asked him to put where DS cannot reach and he said ‘that is not acceptable’. I replied ‘it’s not acceptable if he swallows a pill’ but he does not care. Help!

(an aside but related - his mother stays with us sometimes over a weekend and takes about 20 perscription pills a day. He was obviously upset when we keep finding her dropped pills all over and claimed he was going to do something about it, but never did)

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#2 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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Keep the bathroom door closed? Put the medicine in a little caddy? Get different bottles?

BTW The so-called-childproof caps always open up in my purse just from jiggling around, so I don't know how child proof the can be.
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#3 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:51 PM
 
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I asked him to put where DS cannot reach and he said ‘that is not acceptable’.
Huh? Is he for real? One small act of responsibility to put something away when you're done with it is too much for him? His son's life and safety is worth less than just getting to live the fraternity mess life? I can't even wrap my brain around that.

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#4 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:53 PM
 
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Seriously? He said it is not acceptable?
Then you will have to take responsibility for keeping your son safe. I'd put all meds in a lock box and dole the pills out like a med pass at a nursing home. But I'm b!tchy like that when it comes to my kid dying because of other people's stupidity.
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#5 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I doubt he would do any of those 3 things. If we got a caddy, it would have to have a lockable cover and there's no way he's going to lock and unlock the thing all the time.
thanks, if you think of anything else pls let me know.
I'll keep thinking if anyone else has ideas too let me know.

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One small act of responsibility to put something away when you're done with it is too much for him?
I dont' get it either and it's extremely upsetting. He was right in the bedroom too, when it happened and I showed him right away (it was still in DS's hands with the open cap). I think one time he did say that he leaves them on the counter so he remembers to take them, but what is wrong with a post-it note on the mirror?

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He said it is not acceptable?
Exact words, I kid you not. This was just this past weekend on Sat. or Sunday. he saw it too, as he was right in the bedroom when DS took it and took the cap off, I called him into the bathroom and DS had it in his hands.

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#6 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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Why is that unacceptable to him? I just don't think you can even start to reach him on a sane level until he explains himself on that one.
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#7 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 01:59 PM
 
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Honestly, what I would do is lock up all medication in a lockbox and keep the key. When dh needed medication I would open the box, give him some, and lock it right back up when he was done. If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO! But if I were in that situation I would do it right away because I would never forgive myself if I knew there was a dangerous situation and I didn't intervene to correct it and ds was injured or killed--no matter whose "fault" it was.

If and when dh changed his mind and decided to be a responsible adult about the medication, then we would find a mutually agreeable location for it.

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#8 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:00 PM
 
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If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO!
I like you

I was seriously too flabbergasted to help come up with a solution but she said it perfectly.

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#9 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:00 PM
 
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Why is that unacceptable to him? I just don't think you can even start to reach him on a sane level until he explains himself on that one.
I agree. I wonder if there is something on the internet- a video or article- about children dying from accidental overdose of their parents medications.
Good luck! That is an issue that needs to be fixed right away!

Trying to balance a preschooler and peace....
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#10 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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Seriously? He said it is not acceptable?
Then you will have to take responsibility for keeping your son safe. I'd put all meds in a lock box and dole the pills out like a med pass at a nursing home. But I'm b!tchy like that when it comes to my kid dying because of other people's stupidity.
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Honestly, what I would do is lock up all medication in a lockbox and keep the key. When dh needed medication I would open the box, give him some, and lock it right back up when he was done. If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO! But if I were in that situation I would do it right away because I would never forgive myself if I knew there was a dangerous situation and I didn't intervene to correct it and ds was injured or killed--no matter whose "fault" it was.

If and when dh changed his mind and decided to be a responsible adult about the medication, then we would find a mutually agreeable location for it.
You really are going to have to stand firm on doing something like the above. It is absolutely ridiculous that a grown man and father finds it unacceptable to put medication out of the reach of his child. I swear!
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#11 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:04 PM
 
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I doubt he would do any of those 3 things. If we got a caddy, it would have to have a lockable cover and there's no way he's going to lock and unlock the thing all the time.
thanks, if you think of anything else pls let me know.
His problem is remembering to take them, right? What if you got him one of those weekly pill boxes where you put each day's meds in a little compartment? You could offer to fill them up for him each week and then store it on a high shelf where DS couldn't reach.

Or he could put his pills with something else he does every day. Does he make coffee each morning? Put them in that cupboard up high. He'll still see them every day that way.

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#12 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:06 PM
 
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Even a half of a blood pressure pill could kill a child.....

stand firm...there is no other option than to put them up. Please google the ramifications of a toddler swallowing a BP pill...show that to your H.

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#13 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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Something like this if he needs them to be on the bathroom counter in reach might work. Is part of the problem that he needs (in order to remember to take his meds) them visible & easy to get? What about a really high shelf in the bathroom just for the meds, or put a suction cup pocket on the wall really high?

I'd be pushing him to answer why it wasn't acceptable right away to come up with a safe solution asap. We have high shelves in our bathroom closet and keep other meds of dh in the kitchen where kids cannot yet reach. Might be worth it to get some Mr.Yuck/poison stickers and teach your son a little about them too in tandem with getting your dh in tune with reality. . . and med safety.
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#14 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I found this I can send him but I do not know how much it will help...

http://www.mnpoison.org/index.asp?pageID=103

mumkimum, thanks that is great and cheap. I've also been contemplating mr. yuck stickers but you can't count on those 100% to stop ingestion so they still need to be removed from his reach.

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Is part of the problem that he needs (in order to remember to take his meds) them visible & easy to get? What about a really high shelf in the bathroom just for the meds, or put a suction cup pocket on the wall really high?
Yes, I think so. We do have a small cabinet in the bathroom that DS cannot reach the highest shelf, but he wont' put the medication there. I would be concerned about a suction cup pocket falling.

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#15 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by StrawberryFields View Post
Honestly, what I would do is lock up all medication in a lockbox and keep the key. When dh needed medication I would open the box, give him some, and lock it right back up when he was done. If he pitched a holy fit about it I would say "Too bad, so sad!" Act like a child, get treated like a child, IMO!
yep, this is a non-negotiable. this is a major safety hazard and you need to correct it ASAP.

and it doesn't matter what he thinks. he's being ridiculous. don't lecture him; just do something, and if he doesn't like it, explain why it is necessary. let him brainstorm a better solution if he wants.

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#16 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:08 PM
 
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Also...if something were to happen, his refusal to make things safe would allow the police to charge him as well as CPS to get involved.

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#17 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:09 PM
 
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I want to say that I understand why you H wants the meds on the counter. My DH does the same thing. He won't even put things in a drawer and he even keeps empty blister packs scattered about. The mess drives me crazy. It helps him to follow his very complicated and critical med schedule. He absolutely must stay on schedule or his life is in serious danger.

Still, DH knows that his counter time is limited. Once our little girl is mobile things will have to change. I'm not sure what we will do. Simply putting the drugs away can only be part one of the plan since we need a system to help him remember. Alarms don't work because some drugs are taken in relation to a meal so the exact times vary daily.

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#18 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:12 PM
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Buy a lockable container and put all the meds. in it, give DH one of the keys. Tell DH that having our DS die or having to get his stomach pumped is completely unacceptable. Get a separate one for your MIL and have her take her meds only in one specific room so you can keep checking the floor. Here are a few links http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml06/06115.html , http://www.nsc.org/resources/issues/...en_poison.aspx , and http://www.aapcc.org/DNN/ . The last one is poison control, also the number is usually in the front of phone books.
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#19 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:13 PM
 
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wth? He doesnt care that his child can open medications? If he cant put them up and away I'd throw them away honestly. Insurance wont cover a refill for a few more weeks? Oh well! Too bad.
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#20 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:18 PM
 
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Wow, I can't believe he said it's not acceptable. I mean how in the world do you reason with a person who says that? It's not acceptable that he leaves dangerous things like that out, I mean what planet does he live on??

With a response like that I'd be pretty harsh with my reaction. Well if my DH did what yours does I'd be sorely tempted to chuck the meds out in the trash everytime I saw them laying out.

If I were you, everytime he left them out I'd take possesion of them and put it somewhere safe where DH couldn't find them. I wouldn't put it in the cabinet where he'd just put it out again, it'd force him to go looking for it and to see if he even remembered.

If he remembered to look for them, then he should be able to remember to take them and shouldn't have to leave them out.
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#21 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:21 PM
 
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OK, still outraged but thinking more about solutions. Not too long ago I was taking nearly 30 pills a day with two toddlers in the house. I ended up shifting some dishes around and storing them in the above-counter cabinets next to the cereal bowls and sandwich plates. With a baby gate across the kitchen entryway and the kids needing to take out a folding ladder and climb onto the counter just to get to that cabinet, I felt pretty secure knowing they couldn't get into the pills, but I saw them every time I opened the cabinet for a snack or meal. It was pretty hard to forget a dose unless we were out of the house.
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#22 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:29 PM
 
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He might as well leave a loaded gun on the counter top. That is terrible that he refused to childproof his meds.
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#23 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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OK, still outraged but thinking more about solutions. Not too long ago I was taking nearly 30 pills a day with two toddlers in the house. I ended up shifting some dishes around and storing them in the above-counter cabinets next to the cereal bowls and sandwich plates. With a baby gate across the kitchen entryway and the kids needing to take out a folding ladder and climb onto the counter just to get to that cabinet, I felt pretty secure knowing they couldn't get into the pills, but I saw them every time I opened the cabinet for a snack or meal. It was pretty hard to forget a dose unless we were out of the house.

This is what we do for DH who is on several meds per day. It works for now as dd is 7 and knows not to touch them, ad ds is 9 months old and not eally mobile yet. When ds is old enough to climb, they will be in a LOCKED cupboard, but dh is still adjusting to taking meds daily, and this is the compromise we reached.

Quite frankly, in the OPs position I would have locked the meds up myself, and if he argued about that I would have said he was welcome to leave them out wherever he wanted in his new place, because someone that irresponsible would NOT be living with my kids.
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#24 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:38 PM
 
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I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.

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#25 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:47 PM
 
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I'd throw them out and tell him I would rather he die then an innocent child. That is inexcusable. My FIL used to leave his vitamins and meds on the coffee table. I flat out told him that if I ever found them out again he would not be allowed to stay here anymore and that if any of the kids ever got sick or killed by them he would never see any of them ever again. He got the message.
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#26 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jeliphish View Post
Also...if something were to happen, his refusal to make things safe would allow the police to charge him as well as CPS to get involved.
they take that stuff seriously.

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Quite frankly, in the OPs position I would have locked the meds up myself, and if he argued about that I would have said he was welcome to leave them out wherever he wanted in his new place, because someone that irresponsible would NOT be living with my kids.
when Dh started taking meds, we had a similiar convo. he wanted them down low and i said no, they need to be up high. i won, b/c i said the exact same thing.

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I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.
maybe it would scare him to think that his DS ate them? prob, but i wouldnt lie. i would tell him i threw them away, and he is welcom to go buy new ones for his new house.

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#27 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 02:55 PM
 
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Would he leave guns, knives etc out? Does he not make the connection or is he mentally unstable?

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#28 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would he leave guns, knives etc out? Does he not make the connection or is he mentally unstable?
No... and sometimes I do wonder. It just seems such a common sense thing.
I do have a small, very heavy lockable fireproof safe. I will empty the contents tonight and put it in the bathroom then tell him where the key is and that it's a temp solution until we find a permanent one.

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#29 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 03:13 PM
 
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My DH used to be a butt about meds, not out of meanness, just out of spacey ness. I finally emptied out an ice cream tub (those gallon things) and said, your meds go in here, no where but in here. If I find them lying around I'm throwing them away, quite frankly if I have to choose between YOU dying and my CHILD dying I'm going to pick you every single time.

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#30 of 67 Old 04-14-2009, 03:33 PM
 
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I am pretty sure anything that looks like ice cream is the last place I want to hide something from my ice-cream loving daughter At least I know it would get my ice-cream loving husband's attention.
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