why are some ppl so eager to ff??? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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seriously....

my dd is 28 is mos and i HAD to ff her a few months back cuz our older marathon from '07 was 33lb rf max. i wanted to cry. dh was so glad, not sure why, she was perfectly happy rf, slept well, etc (plus he hardly ever took her anywhere). she seems so exposed to me. does anyone feel the same way i do??

we live in MA but im not originally from here and seriously, i feel like the whole "bad MA driver" myth is so true. there are some days where im driving on 495 with all the crazy ppl and have this overwhelming desire to pull over to the side of the road and change her seat back to rfing. i have had nightmares about getting in accidents and things hitting her in the face.

maybe im insane

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#2 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:19 PM
 
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I know people I talk to say it seems easier, handing them toys, snacks, ect. I also think some people are uneducated. My 11 month old dd has her feet touching the seat and a friend said 'oh, looks like you have to ff her soon since her feet are touching,' I took it as an opportunity to educate her. Although, she is still planning on FF her almost 1 year old dd as soon as she can (20 lbs).

I want to RF as long as possible. Scares me so much.

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#3 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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I think alot of parents are so excited to see their babies grow and get to the next stage of everything in life, ya know? I think its why alot of people feed solids so soon too.. just my opinion

Personally I was SO THANKFUL when i HAD to turn DS FF at 18 mo, He was 33lbs and gaining, he stalled at 35 (by 19mo) and is STILL 35 now at 3 y/o! He was a baby who SCREAMED in the car EVERY.SINGLE.CAR.TRIP! It was horrible for all of us.. It got so much better after he was FF.. But if he was not at the weight limit I would not have turned him, I really wanted him RF as long as possible..

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#4 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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My oldest was a car screamer until we turned him. That's why I was eager!
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#5 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:40 PM
 
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no eagerness here. DS is 32 months 31.5 lbs and his car seat RF to 35lbs. I will be sad when it is time to FF DS but I am hoping that True Fit's seat that is sopouse to come out is RF to 40 lbs like the MY65.

A girl I know has her 8 month old FF already because it is hot. I told her how dangerous it is but she didnt seem to care so sad
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#6 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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I don't know why either. My 27 pound 3 year old is happily rearfacing, although I get annoyed comments ALL THE TIME from friends and family about "don't you think its time to switch her around yet?" And these are people who I sent the info WITH the crash test videos too. I just don't get it.

Then there is my step sister who just turned her baby FF at 10 months. Sigh.

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#7 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:44 PM
 
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I think for most people they don't know not to be eager. It's like people who start solids at 2 mos. We turned AJ at 11 mos b/c I was going on an 8hr trip w/ just him, I didn't know any better. I learned better and he went rfing again at 27 mos and stayed till 34 mos. Evan rf till 47.5 mos and Ilana is still rfing at 30 mos. Then there are some people who just don't care and live so far in denial that they think nothing bad could ever possibly happen to them.

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#8 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:51 PM
 
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I'm not eager due to the safety aspects, but I find that installing most seats ffing is easier and they take up a lot less room (due to the front to back thing) which makes car seat configuration a bit more versatile. It's also easier for me to get my kids in and out when they are ffing, because they usually can get themselves in and seated and I just buckle.

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#9 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 08:58 PM
 
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I wasn't exactly eager, but we did it before we "had" to in our seat (when the Boychick was about 18m/25ishlb) because driving was really, really hard on him, and therefore us. Car trips got a lot more happy after we switched him, even if they also got less safe (I would argue that while his risk in the case of an accident went up, the overall likelihood of an accident went down, because a lot less of the driver's time was taken up trying to distract a really, really unhappy child).

Also, the front seat passenger got a lot more leg room, which for us (5'10" and 6'1" in a small sedan) is no small matter.
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#10 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 09:15 PM
 
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I'm not looking forward to it at ALL. I'm really thankful Aldria is small (23lbs at 19 months) so she can stay RF for a long while. She still likes to nurse in the car and I can buckle myself in the middle and nurse her so long as she's RF...once she turns FF that will end.

Another reason we didn't turn DS until he weaned.

DH wants me to turn Aldria at 2yrs too (we did with DS, he was 31lbs...his carseat goes to 33 but DH was pushing it heavy...) but she's so much smaller than DS and she is happy RF, we'll see.

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#11 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 09:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
My oldest was a car screamer until we turned him. That's why I was eager!
What about subsequent kids??

We turned my son at, I don't know, 13-14 months? He seemed happier, facing forward. MUCH happier.

Now with my girls they are still RF, at 14 months, and I have no desire to switch them. They are happy and I think maybe they are safer. BUT - they have each other, and DS, for entertainment. I mean, maybe they are just happier babies in the car, but I do wonder - foes rear facing work better if you are not alone back there?

The weird thing is I have had so many people ask, when are you going to switch them?

And I'm just like, I dont' know, they're small, they're happy, I don't know when. I don't feel any need to switch them. Nothing to do with revised guidelines, just no need to switch them. (And it's not just laziness... I just did a whole minivan clean out including washing car seats, and put them back in rear facing)

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#12 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 10:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by RunnerDuck View Post
What about subsequent kids??
My other two were happy rearfacing. DD stayed that way until she was 18 months or so and hit 30 lbs (which was the rearfacing limit of the seat we had at the time). DS2 could technically still be rearfacing at 3 years 8 months, but we turned him a couple months back as he edge towards 33 lbs (he's actually lost a little weight and is at about 31-32 lbs now, but that's close enough to the limit of his seat that I'm not going to turn him back.) I also didn't know as much about RF safety when my oldest was a little one. I might have tried harder to keep him RF longer, but he really was such a distraction while driving that I actually did have a minor fender bender while trying to drive and comfort simultaneously.
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#13 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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Like all parenting issues, this is just something people don't see as a priority and/or they aren't fully educated. It doesn't help when pediatricians tell parents they can turn them, or that the "rear face to the max" message is not really widely heard. There are many myths too, and people see each step (RF to FF to Booster to Belt) as a graduation. I turned DS in his 33lbs RF Marathon this weekend. At 2 1/2 he made it a good long way, but I was sad to see the end of that era. And then he freakin' stayed awake the whole drive this afternoon, dropping toys and fighting with his sister, which reminded my why rear facing is easier!

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#14 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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We held off FF DS till he was 14 month-ish when in desperation we flipped him around before a 4 hour car trip in the hopes, prayers of him NOT screaming the *ENTIRE* time (and no, me riding in the back, singing, nothing helped him calm down and *not* scream.. in fact, me riding in the back only accomplished *ME* wanting to scream and cry from having my hair yanked on while he screamed in my ear). If he'd been happy RF, he'd have stayed that way. If he'd even been bareble in the car RF he'd have stayed that way. But he wasn't. And my & DH's nerves being on edge for every car trip the *ENTIRE* time just wasn't safe period. So we flipped him. And you know what? He stopped screaming. Sure he still cries in the car occasionally. But its not the ENTIRE time he's in the car, every single time, without fail.
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#15 of 62 Old 05-31-2009, 11:41 PM
 
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My oldest was a car screamer until we turned him. That's why I was eager!
ditto! my first two SCREAMED while rf...i don't mean once in a while, I mean every trip, the entire trip....we were very eager to turn them..and when we did they were happy riders. Now baby #3 has her two older sibs entertaining her from the third row; she's perfectly happy rf and we have no plans to turn her any time soon.
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#16 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 07:17 AM
 
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with my first two i wasn't eager - i was desperate to get them forward facing. but they both got carsick every time we drove anywhere and i was constantly cleaning up vomit, listening to them scream because they felt nauseous... it was absolutely the most miserable thing ever. luckily at the time we lived in a city and didn't ahve to take the car much - i don't know what the heck we would've done if we lived where we live now back then, we have to drive everywhere. with DS i literally turned him the day he turned 1 (he was 28 lbs), and the vomiting almost completely stopped (i think he got sick in the car 2x after i turned him- compared with pretty much every time we got in the car rf'ing).

it was torture having them rf'ing - for them and for me, who could not concentrate on the road when i knew my baby was suffering just behind me.

i am so, so thankful that i finally have a baby who doesn't get carsick and doesn't seem to mind rf'ing at all! so she'll stay that way to the limit on her Radian, which had been my intention with the other two, but their comfort and my sanity won out over ideal safety.
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#17 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 09:12 AM
 
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I'm in MA too and just turned my 26-month old FF. DH is happy cause in his car she can now watch the DVD player (though she wants to know where my "car TV" is now...). I wanted to RF her longer (she's only 25 pounds), but she was getting car sick way too often. Last time it was right when I pulled into the Babies R Us parking lot... couldn't bring her home in a pukey seat so I wiped it up, tossed it in the trunk, and bought a Nautilus (which was the plan eventually, but not till her little sister outgrew the Safeseat).
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#18 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 09:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ilovemyavery View Post
Like all parenting issues, this is just something people don't see as a priority and/or they aren't fully educated. It doesn't help when pediatricians tell parents they can turn them, or that the "rear face to the max" message is not really widely heard.
:
As someone who doesn't yet have children, all I ever hear about rear-facing is "One and Twenty". Billboards, PSA's, etc. Before I found MDC, it didn't occur to me that you could keep your kid rear-facing longer. I think I, subconsciously, thought that if you got pulled over while driving, that the police could actually write you a ticket for having your 13 month old rear-facing.
DH and I are friends with a couple who have a 21 month old. When their DD grew out of her bucket at about 9 months, I remember her mother complaining about having to buy a convertible seat, instead of a forward facing only seat, that was only good for three months. I'm not sure what the rear-facing limits are on their seat, but I don't think their DD has reached the weight limits yet. And if she has, barely.
Of the people we know, this seems to be the overwhelming view. People treat the numbers like their some kind of magic gateway, and not just a bare minimum.

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#19 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 10:03 AM
 
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DD is still RF at almost 4 now. I think she is around 28 lb. I will probably turn her sometime this fall/winter as she will be close to the 33 lb limit of her seat, and I think I will have to in order to fit 3 across the back of our Jeep Grand Cherokee when our new little one comes. But yeah, I am constantly getting the comments (from friends, even her preschool teacher -- she is the ONLY kid still RF at preschool!) saying she is getting big for that, and isn't it time to turn her? I use that as my oppurtunity to educate people on the safety of staying rear facing longer. Normally I mind my own business, but if they ask, well, they get to hear the lecture on why it is safer. And who knows, maybe I will influence someone to at least consider it and keep their child safer.

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#20 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 04:17 PM
 
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Yep, a combo of everything mentioned. but mostly, they just don't know. Most parents dont equate FFing with..letting your kid play with a rattlesnake in the middle of a freeway surrounded by knives..which is about how dangerous it is. I know that *I* didn't know. which is why dd FFed at 8 months old when she outgrew her carseat rearfacing. Now that i do know, it's just a given. Ds won't be FFing until he is 35 (or more!) pounds or has exceeded the height limit on the tallest seats.

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#21 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 04:29 PM
 
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i want to move ds ff so I can move my passenger seat back... for now i just have everyone taller than me drive or sit in the back..
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#22 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 04:48 PM
 
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We switched DS to FF at 13 months. DH was so excited and kept pestering me about when we could do it. At the time, he was convinced DS would enjoy himself more and interact with us if he was FF.

Neither of us had a clue, which is surprises me because I was totally out of control when it came to safety and danger issues. Somehow, the information on NOTff as soon as the owner's manuals say it is ok completely passed me by.

It wasn't until I came over to MDC that I realized not everyone turned their children around as soon as possible.

Now, I definately would have kept him RF longer than I did.

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#23 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 05:57 PM
 
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My DD was a pretty good car seat screamer as well, but we worked with her on it. Turns out, it was just a phase, and she outgrew it by around 18 months. Once she started being able to entertain herself, she did a lot better.

Now we take long trips a few times a year, and she just sits back there and plays the whole time.

She is 3 years and 2.5 months, and is perfectly happy RF. I do hate installing her car seat RF, though. If she keeps on her current growth curve, she wont hit 35lbs until 4.5-5 years. That's cool. The longer the better.
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#24 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 06:37 PM
 
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I think a big part of it is that they are told to turn them, or rather... Informed they can turn them, and information that they don't have to/shouldn't is not forthcoming. One of those things society stresses as a big milestone and something you want to happen OMG NOW! (DH is still having trouble with this. He knows safety is better rear facing, but still says he can't wait to turn her and be able to see her and talk to her, etc. I told him he is not supposed to see her, he is supposed to see the road And if he wants to see her, I'll get my licence and drive and he can sit in the back. To which I got a big ol' No ) You know kids can't grow up fast enough in North America (they have to, so we can complain about how fast it went by and why they don't stay little longer )

Example: DD had her 1 year well visit at 13 months, and they started to tell me I could turn her forward and then stopped and said "Well, not yet, she's still only 19 lbs, but soon right? " and I said "Uh... No, she still fits in her bucket-" to which I was interrupted with "She does? What kind? (Keyfit 30) Oh well, she'll be out of that in 2 weeks surely!" to which I finished with "If you think so, but she'll be going into a true fit and rear facing to 35 lbs." to which I received a look that made me think I had 2 heads
And for the record, we got another 5 weeks out of it
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#25 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 06:45 PM
 
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eager to FF...

The puking, the screaming, the crying, the kicking, again, the puking!
Did I say puking?
I didn't turn him until he was at the weight limit for his seat, though.
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#26 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 07:05 PM
 
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Yep, a combo of everything mentioned. but mostly, they just don't know. Most parents dont equate FFing with..letting your kid play with a rattlesnake in the middle of a freeway surrounded by knives..which is about how dangerous it is. I know that *I* didn't know. which is why dd FFed at 8 months old when she outgrew her carseat rearfacing. Now that i do know, it's just a given. Ds won't be FFing until he is 35 (or more!) pounds or has exceeded the height limit on the tallest seats.
No, trying to drive with a screaming carsick child is a little more dangerous, IMO, than forward facing and neither is anywhere near what you described...but it was a nice visual.LOL

I'm eager to ff because I hate when they scream. There are studies showing that rear-facing is dangerous in rear-end collisions, so you can find a study pretty much supporting anything you want when it comes to safety.....except maybe you can't find one supporting putting your baby in the middle of the hwy, with knives and rattlesnakes....maybe. Pretty soon, we'll be putting helmets on our kids while in the car.

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#27 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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love hearing everyones stories even tho dd wasnt even 2.5 when she maxed out her marathon rf limit, she is a good 3' tall and honestly could pass for a 4 yr old......i got similar comments about her rfing. i dont mind them, as most everyone here i use it as an opportunity to educate. i am astounded at the ppl who really dont seem to care. im the type of person that loves to learn about new research, different techniques, etc to make all aspects of my family's life safer and more efficient. i just dont get some ppl...

i actually hadnt heard about this new seat that rfs to 40lbs and if i hadnt just spent $300 on a new frontier (to replace our backup scenera that she is about 5 lbs from outgrowing), i might have considered it i thought the frontier would be our safest bet given how fast dd seems to be growing!!

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#28 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 07:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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oh and i do sympathize with those whose kiddies have motion sickness

Mama to Amelia - age 6

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#29 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 07:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by katie9143 View Post

i actually hadnt heard about this new seat that rfs to 40lbs and if i hadnt just spent $300 on a new frontier (to replace our backup scenera that she is about 5 lbs from outgrowing), i might have considered it i thought the frontier would be our safest bet given how fast dd seems to be growing!!
If your daughter is tall, she wouldn't fit in the MyRide anyway, it has a short shell
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#30 of 62 Old 06-01-2009, 09:10 PM
 
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No, trying to drive with a screaming carsick child is a little more dangerous, IMO, than forward facing and neither is anywhere near what you described...but it was a nice visual.LOL

I'm eager to ff because I hate when they scream. There are studies showing that rear-facing is dangerous in rear-end collisions, so you can find a study pretty much supporting anything you want when it comes to safety.....except maybe you can't find one supporting putting your baby in the middle of the hwy, with knives and rattlesnakes....maybe. Pretty soon, we'll be putting helmets on our kids while in the car.
Rear and rear-offset crashes only account for 4% of accidents. I'd rather my child be 500% safer in 96% of accidents


I sympathize with the pukers and the screamers--and I MIGHT consider turning after 2 years old, if no other alternative therapies worked before then. But even with a puker/screamer, 2 would still be my limit.

Both my 2.5yo and my 11mo are still rear-facing, and will be until the limits (or age 4) (unless I import a TWE ).

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