UPDATE: post #154 I'm at a loss, really, I just cant' believe a parent can have so little regard for a child's safety - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 160 Old 06-04-2009, 11:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
Love_My_Bubba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Not where I want to be living.....
Posts: 1,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And these are my best friends I'm talking about. My neighbors and good friends have a dd the same age as my DS. To say that they are lax on carseat safety is an understatement but the stunt they pulled today just takes the cake.

I drove them to the airport today for a trip to Disney. I asked if they needed my carseat bag (we use CARES on the plane & check the seat.) They said they weren't taking a car seat so I assumed they were staying on property and just doing the tram thing the whole time. Nope, they're renting a car. I haven't been to Disney so I have no idea about driving times but I have to imagine that it's not a quick trip around the corner from the airport to the hotel.

Wow, just wow. The final and definitive proof that I am right to NEVER let them drive my DS unless I install the car seat and buckle him in. How can any person who cares even remotely for a child think this is ok??????

Julie, proud graduate of the AOW 3 year program in the study of boobology . Me : + DH : = Super Bubba !
Love_My_Bubba is offline  
#2 of 160 Old 06-04-2009, 11:55 PM
 
~Katie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: NC
Posts: 6,652
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Depending on the car rental company, you can rent carseats to use with the car. Car rental companies also have a policy of not renting cars to people unless they have a proper carseat for their child, but that is more than likely up to the discretion of whoever is working that day I'm sure.

ribbonyellow.gif Army wife ribbonyellow.gif - Mama to Liam waterbirth.jpg (9/07), Laine uc.jpg (5/09), and Eliza h20homebirth.gif (7/11)

~Katie~ is offline  
#3 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:04 AM
 
mamadelbosque's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 6,946
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'll bet their just renting a carseat. Maybe not the safest thing to do on the planet, but its what a LOT of people do when they travel... and tbh, probably what we'd do if we were flying across the country. I just can't imagine lugging a carseat around with us.
mamadelbosque is offline  
#4 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:10 AM
 
snoopy5386's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my friends just visited from Seattle and rented a seat, I offered them our back up seat but they felt it was easier to rent instead. Had to go back and get a different seat because the original one they gave them had no buckle! Seat was an evenflo chase that expired in a year, not good shape but they were ok with it. Also came with no instruction manual and they had it installed wrong (need to flip a part of the bottom depending on FFing or RFing).

Mom to Morgan 4-3-06 and announcing Baby Kelsey 4-11-10
snoopy5386 is offline  
#5 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:12 AM
 
mama_y_sol's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 896
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can only imagine as pp have that they are renting a carseat from the car rental company. I sure hope so anyway.

mama tocoolshine.gif  andbikenew.gif3rdtri.gifdue in November

 

mama_y_sol is offline  
#6 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:52 AM
 
phrogger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know not long ago when I flew to Texas I had to prove that my kids were old enough to not need a carseat when i told them I had 3 kids with me. So I would assume it would be the same thing and the rental car company would provide a rental seat.
phrogger is offline  
#7 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 09:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
Love_My_Bubba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Not where I want to be living.....
Posts: 1,123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nope, I SO wish you all were right. They have no intention of voluntarily renting a seat. They are prepared to do so should the rental company make them but haven't reserved one and were just "waiting to see what happens." :

What really sucks is that these are good people, really good. Like when my hot water heater flooded our basement and we were broke 3 weeks from the refinance that would lower our mortgage payments by $400/month they let us put it on their Lowe's card and then pay it off.

I would never hesitate to trust them with my son, just not in a car.

Julie, proud graduate of the AOW 3 year program in the study of boobology . Me : + DH : = Super Bubba !
Love_My_Bubba is offline  
#8 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 11:15 AM
 
THBVsMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: South Texas
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's horrible. My son is the same age and the thought of him riding without a carseat makes me want to hyperventilate

brandi
Wife to Thomas (03/05) Mama to Tommy (04/06) & Emma (01/10)
THBVsMommy is offline  
#9 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 11:26 AM
 
gwen's mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is my SIL-a special ed teacher, no less. I really had high hopes for her as a parent until she actually became one. Her kids have car seats but they are never buckled in them. She was actually in an accident in white out conditions a year or so ago with her oldest (about 2 at the time) not buckled. I thought maybe that would make a difference but it didn't.
gwen's mom is offline  
#10 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 11:51 AM
 
Kim Allen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: mo us
Posts: 572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know of a CPS worker (which her MIL is also the head of the CPS office) who does not strap her kid in the seat. I see her almost everyday driving through town ( she always is exceeding the speed limit) and does not think twice about it. thats lets you know how cps is around here also. She also would drop him off at daycare (which my mother worked at) at 10:00am and he had not had a diaper change since the night before and was always filthy!!! but thats another story!

Kim: Wife To Colby. Mommy To DS1 Christopher and DS2 Bradly. :
Kim Allen is offline  
#11 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:48 PM
 
sunnymw's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SWGA
Posts: 2,367
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No surprise here. If it's Disney in FL then I doubt anything will be done/said since IIRC FL has really horrible car seat laws.

My kiddo that age is still RFing. I don't understand the "magic bubble" philosophy of "Oh, I have a seat somewhere IN my car! So my kids are safe!"

I hope they get a ticket.

Sunny coolshine.gif: gun toting, retired breastfeeding, car seat loving, guitar playing, home birthing and schooling mama to Jakob (10.06), Mikah (07.08) and Korah (07.11). uc.jpg 

sunnymw is offline  
#12 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:54 PM
 
fruitfulmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Between the Rockies and a Flat Place
Posts: 4,232
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
When I was in high school, I babysat for a lady who was doing her residency at the hospital, so yup she is a doctor, and she saw me and another girl walking and pulled over to talk to us. And guess who was standing in the floor of her vehicle? Her baby! And her excuse was that they were only driving a few blocks.

fruitfulmomma is online now  
#13 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 12:58 PM
 
Ahappymel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The car rental places have carseats and as a matter of experience, will not let you off their lot with a car-seat aged child in their car without a carseat.
Ahappymel is offline  
#14 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 01:09 PM
 
DahliaRW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Near the beautiful Cascades!
Posts: 6,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahappymel View Post
The car rental places have carseats and as a matter of experience, will not let you off their lot with a car-seat aged child in their car without a carseat.
When we've rented, they've just handed us our keys and told us where the car is parked. They'd have no idea if we had seats or not.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
DahliaRW is offline  
#15 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 01:22 PM
 
Ahappymel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DahliaRW View Post
When we've rented, they've just handed us our keys and told us where the car is parked. They'd have no idea if we had seats or not.
Very bad error on their part.
Ahappymel is offline  
#16 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 01:23 PM
 
DevaMajka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Burnaby, BC
Posts: 10,519
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think people just really think that it will never happen to them. Honestly, that's the ONLY explanation I can come up with. I've seen people who I *know* love their kids and want the best for them in almost every way, who just have no regard for proper car seat use. They just really must think that it could never matter.

I also think that some people, who are using a car seat but not entirely properly, ie, straps aren't tight enough, think that it's just as safe as with the straps tightened. They just don't stop to think enough to realize that it could make a huge difference in a crash. kwim?

Maybe that's it. It's just people that aren't thinking.

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

DevaMajka is offline  
#17 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 02:26 PM
 
notjustmamie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 1,962
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DahliaRW View Post
When we've rented, they've just handed us our keys and told us where the car is parked. They'd have no idea if we had seats or not.
:

Even when DD was standing right there with us. Of course we did have a seat, but we didn't have it with us at the counter (we were renting locally for a long drive that I didn't figure our car was up to). Nobody said a thing about a car seat.

Amy loving DH 5/04, raising DD 2/05 and DS 11/09; missing my mom& my babies 6/07, 12/07; and on the side
notjustmamie is offline  
#18 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 02:39 PM
 
earthgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post
I think people just really think that it will never happen to them. Honestly, that's the ONLY explanation I can come up with. I've seen people who I *know* love their kids and want the best for them in almost every way, who just have no regard for proper car seat use. They just really must think that it could never matter.

I also think that some people, who are using a car seat but not entirely properly, ie, straps aren't tight enough, think that it's just as safe as with the straps tightened. They just don't stop to think enough to realize that it could make a huge difference in a crash. kwim?

Maybe that's it. It's just people that aren't thinking.
This was my thought. They just really think nothing will happen to them, it's not so much about not caring for their kids. It would be pretty infuriating to witness, though, that's for sure.
earthgirl is offline  
#19 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 02:55 PM
 
DahliaRW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Near the beautiful Cascades!
Posts: 6,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahappymel View Post
Very bad error on their part.

Well, we've rented at least 20 times with at least one child at 4 different locations with just about every major car rental company, all the same. Checking seems to be the exception.

Happily married to my dh, mama to ds1 (01/2005), ds2 (07/2007)  and dd (07/2009).
DahliaRW is offline  
#20 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 02:56 PM
 
KristaDJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthgirl View Post
This was my thought. They just really think nothing will happen to them, it's not so much about not caring for their kids. It would be pretty infuriating to witness, though, that's for sure.
I have never IRL seen a baby/child properly restrained in the car unless I put them in myself. I used to babysit and the mother's didn't install their seats right or put the harness on their kids right. I'm talking like they just set the car seat on the seat and buckle the belt through (no tightening) and then put the straps on the shoulders (loosely and twisted) and buckle them (no chest clip and no tightening). I wouldn't let kids in my car without a proper seat that I installed myself and I would adjust their straps to fit, but the mom's never got the hint. I think they are totally unaware of what would happen to their baby in a crash or they really don't believe they'll have an accident.

Krista; blessed mother to four earthly beings and three non-physical. Basking in my beautiful rainbow. 
 
 

KristaDJ is offline  
#21 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:02 PM
 
earthgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,644
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristaDJ View Post
I have never IRL seen a baby/child properly restrained in the car unless I put them in myself.
Really? That's so depressing.
earthgirl is offline  
#22 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:12 PM
 
dearmama22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,268
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamadelbosque View Post
I'll bet their just renting a carseat. Maybe not the safest thing to do on the planet, but its what a LOT of people do when they travel... and tbh, probably what we'd do if we were flying across the country. I just can't imagine lugging a carseat around with us.
That's what I was thinking...
dearmama22 is offline  
#23 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:21 PM
 
chickabiddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthgirl View Post
Really? That's so depressing.
I've checked over a hundred seats and haven't seen one perfect installation/use yet. To be fair, some misuses are more technical than critical (in other words, it's not right, but it probably won't significantly affect outcome), but lots *are* critical.

I know that these parents love their kids and care for their kids. They just don't know how to keep them safe. And as horrified as I might be about carseat misuse, they might be equally horrified at the (very) occasional Happy Meal my daughter gets or the computer time she's allowed.

Carseat-checking (CPST) and WAH mama to a twelve-year-old girl.
chickabiddy is online now  
#24 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:22 PM
 
no5no5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It seems like this may be an unpopular opinion, but I'm cool with that.

I recently watched a video on TED indicating that there is evidence that seat belts are just as safe as car seats for kids 2 & up. In fact, given that most car seats are installed incorrectly, and most seat belts are foolproof, seat belts may be safer. I was so convinced that I would totally switch my DD if it weren't for the legal issues.

What really shocks me is when I see people with their kids in car seats with the straps fastened but so loose they hang down, or with car seats that wobble all around...ugh. Those kids are absolutely NOT safe.
no5no5 is offline  
#25 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:35 PM
 
Sailor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: CA
Posts: 2,535
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Could it be a cultural thing? Are they from a country other than America?

In some countries, the car seat is the minority. Say, in India. I never saw anyone use a car seat there, and the driving there - wow. I was scared to rent a car to get around.

I've even seen, in Italy, parents on mopeds with their 3 year olds standing in between their legs as they weaved in and out of traffic. They did have helmets, though.

In Poland, car seats really got big in the last 10 years. Before that, hardly anyone used them. I was born in 1982, and NEVER sat in a car seat. Not even when I was 5, and moved to America.

I really think it's one of those things that has nothing to do with how much a parent regards their child's safety. I think it's more that the parent's don't consider that anything will ever happen. So, car safety, to them isn't that big of a deal because they don't ever think it will happen to them. And, really, if you look at the statistics on this, they're not being that irrational or blind.

First special delivery - April 2010 :
Sailor is offline  
#26 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:38 PM
 
hookahgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 833
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I babysat for someone who had her just turned 3 y/o in a backless booster and her 5 y/o in nothing, my almost 3 y/o was still RFing.....gawd that was the longest three minute drive to their preschool ever! I felt like I was going to puke the whole time.
Cute thing though, the 3 y/o asked my 2 y/o why she was "In a baby carseat" and my DD said, "Im not a baby, so this isnt a baby carseat, silly!"
LOL
hookahgirl is offline  
#27 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 10:50 PM
 
Equuskia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Puerto Rico
Posts: 3,259
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by no5no5 View Post
It seems like this may be an unpopular opinion, but I'm cool with that.

I recently watched a video on TED indicating that there is evidence that seat belts are just as safe as car seats for kids 2 & up. In fact, given that most car seats are installed incorrectly, and most seat belts are foolproof, seat belts may be safer. I was so convinced that I would totally switch my DD if it weren't for the legal issues.

What really shocks me is when I see people with their kids in car seats with the straps fastened but so lose they hang down, or with car seats that wobble all around...ugh. Those kids are absolutely NOT safe.
This horse has already been beaten to death many times here. His methods are faulty, and there is no way that a 2 year old child can fit properly in a seatbelt that is built for an over 5 ft, 150 pound adult. Until a child can pass the 5 step test, they are not ready to sit in just a seatbelt. If someone wants to use their children as crash test dummies to test out his hypothesis, then ok. But I'm keeping my kids rearfacing as much as possible, then keeping them harnessed until they are mature enough to sit in a seatbelt.

Equuskia in with Nodtveidt DD1 : DD2 :
Equuskia is offline  
#28 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 11:12 PM
 
an_aurora's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Palmer, AK
Posts: 6,492
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, and he also failed to take into account that in the study, children who were ejected from the vehicle were dismissed from the statistics.

CPST & mom

an_aurora is offline  
#29 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 11:25 PM
 
no5no5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,635
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Equuskia View Post
This horse has already been beaten to death many times here. His methods are faulty, and there is no way that a 2 year old child can fit properly in a seatbelt that is built for an over 5 ft, 150 pound adult. Until a child can pass the 5 step test, they are not ready to sit in just a seatbelt. If someone wants to use their children as crash test dummies to test out his hypothesis, then ok. But I'm keeping my kids rearfacing as much as possible, then keeping them harnessed until they are mature enough to sit in a seatbelt.
Okaaay, well I haven't seen any threads about it but I'm not on this board much. I'm sorry to be so behind the times, but I just saw the TED lecture a few weeks ago. Do you want to clarify the way in which you think his methods are faulty, or post a link to a thread that clarifies? I'm not trying to be a PITA. I really am interested. I thought the lecture was pretty convincing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by an_aurora View Post
Yep, and he also failed to take into account that in the study, children who were ejected from the vehicle were dismissed from the statistics.
What study do you mean? Can you clarify or link to a thread that clarifies?
no5no5 is offline  
#30 of 160 Old 06-05-2009, 11:34 PM
 
oceanbaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 11,454
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am pretty uptight about carseat safety, but when we went to NYC we did not use carseats in cabs - we just couldn't figure out a way to do it without lugging a huge carseat around all the time (ds1 was 3yo at the time). If they were literally going to be in the car for 5 minutes the entire trip, I could see not bringing a carseat.

ETA: The droopy straps do drive me crazy though. I mean, if you're using a carseat at least use it as well as you can. I drove for a preschool field trip one time, and after I put this one girl's carseat into my car, I put her into it and put her straps on. The buckle was hanging down to her knees, I mean it was totally pointless. I tightened it up and the girl said that her mom says she doesn't have to wear it tight. I just told her that in my car I feel more comfortable having it tight, and she was fine, but oh my god.
oceanbaby is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off