DP's Boss Gave DS a 'Titty-Twister' - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 06:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So... DP's boss is child-less, mid-forties, and really, really nice. He gave DP a week of paid time off when we had DD a few months ago. I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting or not... I asked DS if it made him uncomfortable when DP's boss gave him the titty-twister and he said 'yeah, it was mean.'

DP's boss did that in the form of a joke... as in 'what's more windy than a windstorm? a titty-twister!'

Another thing he did was one night when we were all sitting outside, it got chillier than we thought it would, and DP's boss tried to get DS to sit on his lap. DS wouldn't have it, tho, and ran off. Awkward for DS, me and DP.

DP really needs this job, but also plans to quit in about four months. Should I press the issue, drop it, what? I know it's my job as Mom to keep DS safe, but it's not as if he and DP's boss are ever (or would ever, obviously) be alone together.

Augh. I think maybe he just doesn't know what's appropriate, but it IS kind of creepy at the same time... so what do you girls think?

Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

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#2 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 06:36 PM
 
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Very inappropriate. Since it is only 4 more months I would avoid being in the same place with him again. If it has to happen make sure you have responses ready and you never leave him in his presence alone. Like the lap thing. I would address ds at the time it happened and say something like " Its ok ds- you don't have to do anything you don't want to- why don't we go over here and..." The titty-twister would make me so mad- "Please don't do that- he doesn't like it". Sounds like he needs to know that your ds has boundaries that must be respected.
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#3 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 06:46 PM
 
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Well I would never tell my kiddo that they don't have to do anything they don't want to do I would definately tell them that they don't have to sit on anyone's lap who they don't want to.

Alyssa
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#4 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 06:47 PM
 
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I'd just avoid situations where you all have to be together. How often do you and the kids go with DP to stuff that is boss is at? I know I rarely see dh's boss, and it is usually at the office.

Mama of three.
 
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#5 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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Honestly - sounds like the guy is just super immature more than anything. It's an issue that's going to disappear so soon - I'd just keep my distance until then.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

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#6 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 08:58 PM
 
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I don't think the actions in and of themselves are that shocking (as someone mentioned could be just an immature guy/doesn't know how to relate to kids). HOWEVER, the fact that it makes you and your DS uncomfortable is the red flag IMO. Trust that instinct. I would just avoid being around this person is general and of course be on alert when you do have to be around him.

Jenna in love with my DH Jon, loving our 2.5 year old, Caroline Tulip, and expecting another little one in August!
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#7 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 11:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alllyssa View Post
Well I would never tell my kiddo that they don't have to do anything they don't want to do I would definately tell them that they don't have to sit on anyone's lap who they don't want to.
Good catch
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#8 of 17 Old 09-19-2009, 11:22 PM
 
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It's gross and his joke is dumb and doesn't even make sense. I'd be flat out pissed if someone touched my child there boy or girl.

I hate the T word by the way and if the guy introduced that to my kid I'd be peeved.

I'm so skeeved. Ick!
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#9 of 17 Old 09-20-2009, 03:52 PM
 
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Totally inappropriate!

I would be pissed if someone did that to my kid. I would not hesitate to tell him to stand his distance.

Doing what I can to make better choices every day!
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#10 of 17 Old 09-20-2009, 06:17 PM
 
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Are you talking about grabbing the kid's nipple and twisting? I'd be pressing charges against any adult that did that to my kid.
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#11 of 17 Old 09-20-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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The man twisted your DS's nipples?!?!?!? Completely WRONG and INAPPROPRIATE and GROSS.

Press charges against the boss. Report him.

And never let him anywhere near your children again.
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#12 of 17 Old 09-20-2009, 06:23 PM
 
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Wow!! I think that that was way out of line to do to a child. I would just avoid future situations where they would have contact. If you have to have contact with the boss does your ds have to be there? Your DP is lucky though that you stayed calm and levelheaded though, I don't think I could have.
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#13 of 17 Old 09-21-2009, 12:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by rayo de sol View Post
The man twisted your DS's nipples?!?!?!? Completely WRONG and INAPPROPRIATE and GROSS.

Press charges against the boss. Report him.

And never let him anywhere near your children again.
Really? I just feel unsure about doing that. Besides DP needing his job, I can't help but feel maybe he just doesn't know how to interact with kids.

But, I wasn't raised with very strong boundaries (which I'm now working on) so maybe I'm under-reacting.

Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

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#14 of 17 Old 10-03-2009, 01:50 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BabyMae09 View Post
But, I wasn't raised with very strong boundaries (which I'm now working on) so maybe I'm under-reacting.
I might be in the same boat. I would not push the issue because the potential loss is so high and what is there to gain? The guy might just have terrible social skills. I don't know though. I would be extremely uncomfortable if someone said and did that to my child.

Jenn- Geeky momma to one fabulous Tiny Diva (10/27/08)
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#15 of 17 Old 10-03-2009, 02:06 AM
 
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Ummm, yea, my baby is still in the womb .... but, twisting a child's nipples is BEYOND inappropriate. I'd have pretty much told him that if he ever touched my child again, I'd call the police. I'd also tell him to never come by my house again.

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#16 of 17 Old 10-03-2009, 04:14 AM
 
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I don't think I'd report him or anything, but I would definitely keep my kid away from him. Let your dp go to functions on his own, and you stay home with your son.
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#17 of 17 Old 10-03-2009, 07:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I finally talked to DP about it and he basically said that since his boss doesn't have kids he doesn't really know how to interact with them. I agree. I think he probably grew up around people who thought it was funny to do stuff like that to kids, or he just really has no clue how to talk/be around kids.

Anyway, I've been keeping DS away from him. Thanks for all the replies

Me,yummy.gif   DS, Peace.gif and DDdust.gif Grateful to the baby I lost for sticking around long enough to teach me what I needed to know so badly  candle.gif  We  love our forest valley home, our goats and chickenschicken3.gif, and wild harvested food-medicine coolshine.gif

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