Absolutely pissed about Grandma's Actions! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 15 Old 09-24-2009, 08:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She put Brendan in a low back booster riding in Papa Truck and he was like I didn't get hurt and I go yeah & you were not in a crash either !

Now I wonder if she's going to change it to booster in her car . Now Brendan has soccer pratice tomorrow and a soccer game on Saturday.

I bet its because she weighed him and he was 40 lbs but if he was under 40 lbs because he was saying he was 30 lbs and I go you couldn't only be 30 lbs otherwise that would you lost your weight.

Plus I told grandma he had to be 5 pt harnessed until he got to 40 lbs so she better be listening to that but otherwise what if he isn't at 40 lbs .

I just wish I didn't do that would do only highback booster at 40 lbs but if i didn't make that agreement she would have just kept him in a booster at age 3 with him being under 40 he was able to stay harnessed until he was 5 .

Plus, she proably think it's acceptable to do now because he rides the school bus with no seatbelts so that's proably the reason why she thinks well he will be okay in a low back booster in papa's car because he has nothing in the bus.

Why does she think she can make the decision to switch to her choice to take a chance on my son !!!!!!!!!!!
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#2 of 15 Old 09-24-2009, 08:37 PM
 
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He's your child. You set the rules. If you want him harnessed- have a seat he can harness in and insist it's used.

-Angela
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#3 of 15 Old 09-24-2009, 09:18 PM
 
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I agree, you have to make it clear that it is NOT allowed. period. I had a similar issue (well, sort of) when after church I couldn't find my then 2 year old.. I asked hubby and he said he thought he went with my mil. I called and yep, he was there (whew! next time, tell ME!)
and I asked if hubby helped her install his seat... and she said no, he just went in his sisters no-back booster.... um, what?!?! I let her know under NO condition is that okay and he's only ridden with her a handful of times since, and always in his seat, installed by me

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#4 of 15 Old 09-24-2009, 09:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by alegna View Post
He's your child. You set the rules. If you want him harnessed- have a seat he can harness in and insist it's used.

-Angela
Exactly. Provide the seat and install it. If she still refuses to use it properly, don't let him ride with her. The end.

Carseat-checking (CPST) and WAH mama to a twelve-year-old girl.
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#5 of 15 Old 09-24-2009, 10:35 PM
 
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I don't make deals with other people concerning my children's safety (or our parenting style).

Mom to Eoin (11/02), Eilis (09/04), Eamon (07/07), and Ellery (04/10)
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#6 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 09:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by chickabiddy View Post
Exactly. Provide the seat and install it. If she still refuses to use it properly, don't let him ride with her. The end.
This.

100% this.

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#7 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 12:09 PM
 
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I've always decided what seats my children had in our parents cars, and I've been the one to install them. This policy didn't start until the day I discovered MIL drove DD to her friends house ****WITH OUT A CAR SEAT AT ALL**** at 18 months. Why? Because it was cold, and just in the neighborhood. I told her that day that I would get them a seat and install it, period. And that if DD ever rode without a seat with them again, she wouldn't be going there with out us. Period. MIL just didn't see the risk. We've since learned that they also simply can't install car seats for crap. No matter how many times I've taught them how. We have mutually agreed that DH or I does the installs.

Now, all of that said, I did let DD ride in a booster in their car sooner. Why? Honestly, it's easier. FIL has a rotator cuff injury and until this fall, he usually only took DD out by himself. He was having trouble with the 5 point, and when DD outgrew it by weight (at 4 and 40lbs) I moved her to a high back booster as her back up seat. DD sits very well, and is fine in a booster. I still keep her harnessed in my car, or for long rides, but she now uses a booster in other peoples cars. We worked a lot on proper booster use, and she is safer in the correctly used booster than in an incorrectly use harnessed seat.

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#8 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 01:17 PM
 
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My dad took my 1 yo in a HBB a couple weeks ago. *sigh*

Obviously, he didn't mean to endanger my son, he just didn't know better. I gently explained where adn how he needed to ride in the car, and showed him how to install the proper seat in case I wasn't able to do it for him. Remember that most of todays grandparents grew up hanging around in the back of a big old station wagon somewhere, or playing on the floorboards while the family took a Sunday Drive... When they had us, carseats were still largely seen as unnecessary (think back to the 70s).

Explain what the laws are now, and the best practices, and enable them to keep the child safe, but getting angry about it probably won't help.
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#9 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not as upset as I was before but would have liked to know what she was doing before.

She had put Chase in a booster & she always made sure it was tight fit againt him & tight enough to not move him or his booster seat(is that a proper fit ? that was when he was 5 now Chase is out of a booster & using an adult seatbelt (he's my step-nephew)

The seabelt I think is kind of filmsy on him and I think he needs to be in a lower back booster but of course I'm not his parent or even blood related to him.

Anyways, I was wondering because brendan don't ride with his grandma too much . His carseats are always so much more secured in her car than whenever I ride in a cab no matter how much I tighten the straps to see if the high back booster that would do a 5 pt harness up to 40 lbs would move sometimes during turns .

So I definetly think I proably will get a safety riders vest for brendan in the cab because I don't think the booster would fit appropiately with the seatbelt on the shoulder tight right ?

My boy is outgrowing all the 5 pt harness seats that are FF and I can't carry the others one because they are too heavy for me otherwise I would be using one of those higher seats for 5 pt harnessed .

Brendan sits still in grandma's car and he sits still in the cab . What if he doesn't like the feel of the safety vest in the cab ?

What should I do ?

My boy is able to be above 40 inches . Who knows maybe he might even be at 42 inches or slightly above.

Also, he's a new 5 yr old .
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#10 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 01:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickabiddy View Post
Exactly. Provide the seat and install it. If she still refuses to use it properly, don't let him ride with her. The end.
yup.
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#11 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 02:34 PM
 
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Honestly, if you cannot install seats tightly in cabs (they should NOT move during turns) and your mother will not use a harnessed seat, your son is of an appropriate age and size to use a highbacked booster. He will be safer in a good booster than in a seat that tips during turns and which he may have outgrown (many 42" children no longer fit in the 40# harnessed seats by height, and while I'm unclear on his weight, it may be 40#?).

Carseat-checking (CPST) and WAH mama to a twelve-year-old girl.
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#12 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 03:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know his weight he was under 40 lbs and in june and his new pedi said he was okay to move into a HBB because he was 40 inches then but I figure he grew even a few inches taller after that.

When I measure him on the playskool growth chart it makes it seem as if he's 4 ft and 3 inches and with shoes on it makes him be 4 ft and 5 inches.

I'm only 5'1 and he's coming more up to my chest than before .

So what would make a good safe high back booster ?
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#13 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 04:33 PM
 
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It's highly unlikely that he is 4'5" (53") and under 40#.

Still, based on the sum of your posts and my own extrapolation, I'm guessing that he has probably outgrown the HBB by height if not by weight as well. Plus, as you have written, you can't install it properly.

It's booster time. If he is not truly 4'5" and is maybe closer to 3'5" and somewhere between 30# and 40#, and you need to carry the seat with you, a Recaro Vivo would be a good choice. It folds up to make carrying easier and it fits smaller booster riders well.

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#14 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 06:52 PM
 
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My nearly 8 year old is only about 4'3" and she's pretty tall.. at his age, he'd be well over the 100th percentile. I think your best bet might be to find someone to check your install, and help you determine what seat he really ought to be in.
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#15 of 15 Old 09-25-2009, 10:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MommytoB View Post
Why does she think she can make the decision to switch to her choice to take a chance on my son !!!!!!!!!!!

Because you're not telling her otherwise and demanding that she doesn't.

I agree you need to see a CPST and have them help you determine the seat he should be in. This doesn't make sense:
* You say your son is 4'3'' (51'') when you measure him but that he was 40'' tall in June. So your son grew 11 inches in the past 3 months?
* My 7yoDs is about 49'' tall and 50lbs. He is about average height and weight. I don't think you are correct in your measurements. A 51'' child that weighs 40lbs would be very, VERY skinny.

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