Super Annoyed, Sling Saftey - Mothering Forums
Family Safety > Super Annoyed, Sling Saftey
KringyBingy's Avatar KringyBingy 11:51 AM 03-28-2010
I am super annoyed with strangers approaching me and asking if I have heard the dangers of the sling I am wearing. Does anyone have something constructive I can say to these obtuse people? I am just so taken back that I am lost for words.

I have three children that have been carried for YEARS in a sling. I was at the mall yesterday with my 3 kids. Baby June who is 6 months old was scrunched up and sleeping in my hotsling when a man asked me if I had heard the news about slings. I tactfully said, "yes I have been wearing my kids for years." He went on to comment that I should be careful that the baby doesn't FALL OUT. Ha Ha Ha, wow, I can completely appreciate that there have been infant deaths from babies falling out of a sling, but I am a confident, veteran baby wearer. This is so important for infant bonding and makes my life so much easier than trying to carry

I don't know if I should even try to educate someone like that.
Kristy

womenswisdom's Avatar womenswisdom 11:57 AM 03-28-2010
You might want to point out that the recall was for ONE PARTICULAR BRAND of slings, not slings in general. And then, if they seem interested, you could go into why that brand was unsafe and why the brand you use is different. People are probably just trying to be helpful, but are unknowledgeable about the particulars of the recall and just remember "slings=bad".
cschick's Avatar cschick 12:07 PM 03-28-2010
"The recall was for a particular brand of a known-to-be poorly designed sling, not for all slings." Then I'd walk away.
Marsupialmom's Avatar Marsupialmom 12:19 PM 03-28-2010
"Oh that recall was for a specific brand, not mine. I checked. Thanks for the concern."
Juvysen's Avatar Juvysen 12:37 PM 03-28-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by womenswisdom View Post
You might want to point out that the recall was for ONE PARTICULAR BRAND of slings, not slings in general. And then, if they seem interested, you could go into why that brand was unsafe and why the brand you use is different. People are probably just trying to be helpful, but are unknowledgeable about the particulars of the recall and just remember "slings=bad".
I agree... but I find it mildly annoying that all the recent crib and stroller recalls didn't cause "crib/stroller=bad" in people's minds...
KempsMama's Avatar KempsMama 12:42 PM 03-28-2010
There are a few threads around about this right now, another poster posted this link, they are cards you can't print and hand out when strangers approach with safety concerns.

I don't wear DS1 anymore, and I'm hoping the panic will die down before DS2 is born, but I'm saving the link just in case!

http://sleepingbaby.net/sling_safety_card.pdf
Eclipsepearl's Avatar Eclipsepearl 05:06 AM 03-29-2010
I don't like the "Thank you for your concern..." It's patronizing.

I also wouldn't say that you've been BWing for years. While it's true, many parents do many dangerous things for years and they just luck out that nothing goes wrong. I consider the "I didn't/did do X and my child is fine" excuse a cop-out. I turned my first baby around too early. I put my oldest two in boosters to early. Nothing bad happened but I was ill-informed and lucky nothing bad happened. I actually urge other parents to not do what I did, even though my kids are fine.

I would just say that this is totally not the same design as the brand of sling that was recalled.

You may also add "If one brand of stroller or crib is recalled, it doesn't mean all strollers and cribs, no matter which brand, have to stop being used".

I also like the idea of saying to the person (this works well with MIL's too) "Oh didn't you read the article?!? This isn't an Infantino sling. It doesn't look at all like it. Those bag slings are not good..." and carry on. If they try to say something, just tell them to "go back and look at it on the internet" and they'll "see that it's nothing like the sling I'm now wearing my baby in which is so much safer..."

Then it's obvious that you think that they're misinformed...
Kelly1101's Avatar Kelly1101 07:12 AM 03-29-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by KringyBingy View Post
I am super annoyed with strangers approaching me and asking if I have heard the dangers of the sling I am wearing. Does anyone have something constructive I can say to these obtuse people? I am just so taken back that I am lost for words.
Perfect opportunity to educate, really. This actually happened to me this weekend. I want a ring sling for the new baby and am looking at Sleeping Baby Productions ( http://www.sleepingbaby.net/ ), and I posted the link on my mom's FB page so that she could check it out. My aunt (sweet older lady who works in a baby boutique -type store) posts on there "Be careful, there has been a lot of news lately about unsafe slings and recalls." I just told her, yes, there are a type of slings called "bag slings" that are unsafe because they cover the baby's face and place the baby in a position that can cause asphyxiation. Then went on to talk about the different in ring slings and how the face is not covered and the positioning is better. Her response: "Oh good, I'm glad you know about it."

No problem.

I'd say the same to anyone who walked up to me.

It's not people's fault if they don't know that much about baby-wearing, I'm sure they are genuinely concerned because they've heard "sling=bad" and want to help. So if you set them straight on it, you can spread the word for safe baby-wearing.
lava's Avatar lava 08:00 AM 03-29-2010
Was shopping with 4.5MO DS this weekend--he's big for his age and very active--he was in my Comfy Joey pouch, on my front, sitting up facing me and having a 'conversation' with me while he chewed on his fingers. Three different people (started with a manager while I was entering the restroom--he was on the phone and put his call on hold to waylay me) pointed out to me that "those baby carriers" are unsafe. I was good though--I patiently explained that was a completely different type of carrier, different position in a different type of carrier, and as a matter of fact (you'll like this one) since I was shopping at (no flames, please!) WalMart, "did you know that" until just recently they SOLD that type of carrier (pretty much the only type they sold). Obviously none of them read the article--quite aside from the bag sling difference, the fact that the baby was sitting up and all that...<sigh>

I also pointed out to the manager (I have been complaining to management about this with no result since we moved to this town over 3 years ago) that the straps on their carts with the child seating things on the fronts are all broken--which is a huge inconvenience to anyone with more than one small child (8 months pregnant with this baby, I was shopping with 3YO DS2 on my back in an MT so 4YO DS1 could ride in the basket) but more than that, is DANGEROUS. He didn't seem to have much to say after that...imagine that!

I have gotten to the point that I hate babywearing in public--I mean, I love the actual babywearing (and won't stop), it's the public part that I don't like! If it's not someone trying to grab the child off of my back or stick their hand in a MT on my front, or "help" me with getting him onto my back (which inevitably makes me almost drop him--I think most of you get that, helping me messes me up), now it's these "helpful" comments. ARGH!

-lava
justKate's Avatar justKate 05:29 PM 03-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by lava View Post
If it's not someone trying to grab the child off of my back or stick their hand in a MT on my front, or "help" me with getting him onto my back (which inevitably makes me almost drop him--I think most of you get that, helping me messes me up), now it's these "helpful" comments. ARGH!
Exactly. "No, REALLY. I got it. We're fine!"
Juvysen's Avatar Juvysen 05:48 PM 03-30-2010
when DD was a baby, I had her in a stretchy wrap with her arms wrapped inside so she wasn't grabbing at everything, and some lady came up and pulled her arms out of the wrap and in doing so made it an unsafe position for her! Man, was I angry Who just comes up to someone and grabs at what they're wearing, even if it's a baby? wth??
ssh's Avatar ssh 05:56 PM 03-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
when DD was a baby, I had her in a stretchy wrap with her arms wrapped inside so she wasn't grabbing at everything, and some lady came up and pulled her arms out of the wrap and in doing so made it an unsafe position for her! Man, was I angry Who just comes up to someone and grabs at what they're wearing, even if it's a baby? wth??
This probably meets the legal definition of assault.
Kelly1101's Avatar Kelly1101 06:03 PM 03-30-2010
Yeah. I sincerely hope that no one ever tries to touch my child like that. Because I'm not polite.
babygirlsmama's Avatar babygirlsmama 06:10 PM 03-30-2010
Actually, depending on the situation, I might be in a mood to educate someone and might tell them I've been babywearing for years, and then ask them if they are interested in the topic of babywearing and possibly discuss more. Depends on the moment of course, and how I was feeling.

I do think folks are trying to be helpful, but I worry about an anti-babywearing undercurrent to it all. I was at my local babies r us and noticed that the sling section was totally empty. Totally. Not just of the recalled slings....all of them. Nothing left but baby bjorns. Yikes, I wonder if they made some sort of decision to take them all off the shelves.

To the extent that there is an anti-babywearing undercurrent, don't you think it is the typical mainstream response. Ie., if they make babywearing "dangerous" then they get the green light to not babywear and to tote babies around in plastic buckets, etc. In other words, justifying the non-babywearing style of parenting. It's subtle, to be sure, but I think that is part of it.
4Blessings's Avatar 4Blessings 06:37 PM 03-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by lava View Post
I have gotten to the point that I hate babywearing in public--I mean, I love the actual babywearing (and won't stop), it's the public part that I don't like!
^^^this^^^

I have four kids and just getting out of the house is so hard. By the time we get into the store I'm already exhausted! The extra time that shopping is taking is driving me mad. I have at least two people stop me every place I go.

I'm glad that people are concerned but I like to think that I look like I know what I'm doing
calebsmommy25's Avatar calebsmommy25 08:01 PM 03-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
when DD was a baby, I had her in a stretchy wrap with her arms wrapped inside so she wasn't grabbing at everything, and some lady came up and pulled her arms out of the wrap and in doing so made it an unsafe position for her! Man, was I angry Who just comes up to someone and grabs at what they're wearing, even if it's a baby? wth??


Did you say anything to her? Holy moly...I would not have been calm AT. ALL. Seriously, I don't care who you think you are, you don't mess with a baby being held and loved by his/her parent or caregiver! Yikes.
Juvysen's Avatar Juvysen 08:11 PM 03-30-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by calebsmommy25 View Post
Did you say anything to her? Holy moly...I would not have been calm AT. ALL. Seriously, I don't care who you think you are, you don't mess with a baby being held and loved by his/her parent or caregiver! Yikes.
She came over and addressed DD saying "you don't want your arms in THERE" and popped her arms out of the wrap. I said "no, she's fine, I did that on purpose!" and turned away from her while putting things back together... I was too in shock to give her a verbal lashing I had been wearing DD like that for ages and had people interested and asking about it, but never trying to adjust the darn thing!

Fwiw - it was the last time I went to Wal-mart... in the parking lot, the same day, I caught a guy masturbating while watching us. I decided paying extra elsewhere was worth our safety...
kaitlyncakesmama's Avatar kaitlyncakesmama 08:33 PM 03-30-2010
i have been approached as well. i understand that people are saying something because they're concerned, but i was totally annoyed that this lady was not listening to me trying to explain that i had a different carrier (not even a sling- i was using a WRAP!!) and my baby was positioned UPRIGHT. at first i just brushed it off w/ a "thanks, i know but this is different" but she was so INSISTENT and even went to move the rails of the wrap away from my SLEEPING ds's face. GRR.

so although i've been waiting for a long time for the infantino slings to be recalled, i do think it's too bad that people aren't paying attention to the details. ugh. aside from the crib/stroller recalls, i can't tell you how many times i've been babies incorrectly strapped in a car seat, not in a car seat at ALL in a moving car, or in an expired seat. sigh.
calebsmommy25's Avatar calebsmommy25 03:57 PM 03-31-2010
Juvysen- Wow, seriously some people. I see your from Binghamton, if this happened at the Walmart in Vestal, I understand why you choose to go somewhere else. There are some majorly sketchy individuals that seem to congregate there. The Target in that area is much better anyways.

Whenever going home (near Binghamton) to visit my parents and I wear ds around, I get the weirdest looks. It is like I'm some sort of alien, like most in the area haven't ever seen anyone wear a baby, well now toddler. I find it amusing and upsetting all at the same time.

What is your experience with babywearing in Binghamton, besides this isolated incident? Are there other like-minded individuals in the area?
Juvysen's Avatar Juvysen 07:13 PM 03-31-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by calebsmommy25 View Post
Juvysen- Wow, seriously some people. I see your from Binghamton, if this happened at the Walmart in Vestal, I understand why you choose to go somewhere else. There are some majorly sketchy individuals that seem to congregate there. The Target in that area is much better anyways.
yep, that's the one.

Quote:
Whenever going home (near Binghamton) to visit my parents and I wear ds around, I get the weirdest looks. It is like I'm some sort of alien, like most in the area haven't ever seen anyone wear a baby, well now toddler. I find it amusing and upsetting all at the same time.

What is your experience with babywearing in Binghamton, besides this isolated incident? Are there other like-minded individuals in the area?
actually, yeah - we have a whole group of us w/a local crunchy forum (though we've sort of moved to fb) there used to be AP meetings here, not sure if they're still going or not. I do see people babywearing but not constantly. Most people are just curious about it when I'm wearing my babies, or they don't realize I have a baby there until they realize I'm talking to the baby

On a related note, so far (in 4 years of nursing various babies) I've only had good experiences w/NIP. People come over and tell me how great they think it is that I'm nursing.
~Christina~'s Avatar ~Christina~ 07:57 PM 03-31-2010
I've been having these same problems! Dh and I took all 4 kids to the Farmers Market this weekend. It's so much easier to wear the two little ones instead of pushing a stroller through the mass of people. Dh was wearing our 20 month old on his back in a BabyHawk. I was wearing our 2 month old in a Moby. I actually had a woman say, "Look at the way that baby is all wrapped around her body! And they wonder why babies are dying!" I was completely speechless. I think I may start carrying some of those cards around with me for situations like b/c I literally couldn't talk I was so angry. Both of the kids were up right faces completely uncovered. Ugh.
briome's Avatar briome 08:20 PM 03-31-2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina~ View Post
I actually had a woman say, "Look at the way that baby is all wrapped around her body! And they wonder why babies are dying!" I was completely speechless. I think I may start carrying some of those cards around with me for situations like b/c I literally couldn't talk I was so angry. Both of the kids were up right faces completely uncovered. Ugh.
That angers me so much!!!! and I wasn't even there...the ignorance of people to think that they understand the complexity of things from an alarmist news article or a blip in a local paper....and the self-rightousness to boldly insult indirectly,,,*gasp*

hugs!
Kelly1101's Avatar Kelly1101 06:17 PM 04-04-2010
ooops nevermind
sleepingbeauty's Avatar sleepingbeauty 06:38 PM 04-04-2010
I don't have any of my own to wear but believe me when I tell you that there would be beatings occurring if someone EVER touched my child like that. Beatings.
Ldavis24 07:11 PM 04-04-2010
with people out there who actually touch babies being worn I feel lucky I have only had good experiences with my ring sling. The most memorable was when I was wearing DD at a fair and she was about 5 months old, sound asleep on my front.
A woman came up to me asking if I liked the sling etc....it turned into a wonderful 20 minute conversation about how much easier it can be (not all the time) to wear DD and how much she loves it and I love it etc...It broke off with her asking me where she could get one and thanking me for answering all her questions..I felt so good and happy about it but I had to laugh to my mother after because the entire time her son was freaking out in his stroller trying to escape it and she had to keep wrestling his little body back in and finally gave up and just held him in her arms..He looked like a very heavy 1 year old or so!
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