Do you speak up about RF on Facebook? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 20 Old 03-17-2011, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In the last week, I have seen several pictures on social media of young toddlers (16 months or so) forward facing.  These are just acquaintances, and neither posted the picture of their kid with any discussion of car seat safety, but I just noticed that they are definitely not RF.  I am tempted to say something, but it's....awkward.  I know that's silly when their child could be SO much safer, but I don't want to be a total jerk or come across as a know-it-all.  These are not good friends; I have no idea why they chose to turn their kid around so early and I would hate to come across as harsh or judgmental.

 

 

So do you tell others that their FF toddler would be much safer RF?  On Facebook?  In real life?  If so....how?  

 

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#2 of 20 Old 03-17-2011, 06:59 PM
 
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I don't.  I know some people do.  I'll just post links on my wall to articles about the importance of RF past a year and hope someone notices.  Or, I'll post a pic of my son RF with a caption about how comfy he is RF, or how he likes to tell me about everything he sees as we're driving, etc.  

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#3 of 20 Old 03-17-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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I post info about rfing on my wall too.  And hope they see it and take it to heart.  The only time I ever PM with car seat safety is if it's blatant misuse.  And then it's something like "hey, I saw your picture of xxx.  I don't know if you were in teh car and hadn't adjusted the straps or whatnot, but car seats can be so confusing.... blah blah blah..." 

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#4 of 20 Old 03-17-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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My ds is FF, as is every single one of my friends kids (once they reach the weight limit). I know, personally, if someone commented about me not being safe enough with ds, I'd be pissed. Honestly, it's none of your business. My son is in a proper car seat (britax roundabout, to be exact), and buckled properly as well. I don't feel that I'm being unsafe with him whatsoever.

 

I'd suggest if you want to "speak up", that you do it by posting info in your status updates and whatnot. I think leaving a comment or messaging someone because of a picture would come across as a personal, "greater-than-thou" attack, even when it's not meant to be one...so yeah, there's this FF mama's POV ;)

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#5 of 20 Old 03-17-2011, 09:44 PM
 
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I didn't know that toddlers should be rear facing. I thought it was just infants?


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#6 of 20 Old 03-17-2011, 09:53 PM
 
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Even though i know it's like 500% safer to Rear-face a toddler, no, I don't think I would bother commenting on someone's FB photo.  If it were my brother or anyone I was close to, I could see messaging them some information in case they weren't aware - then they could make the decision for their child.  Calling them out on their page?  I don't think that's the best way to go about informing them of the dangers of forward-facing car seats. 


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#7 of 20 Old 03-18-2011, 05:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Trekkin girl, rear facing reduces the risk of death in a crash by 71%, and the risk of injury in a crash by 75%.  The APA recommends that children rear face for as long as their seat allows.  It is SO much safer for your toddler/preschooler to be rear facing in the unlikely event of a crash.  

 

Yeah, I am afraid of coming across as a jerk, but I am just sincerely worried that they just don't know the massive benefits of extended RF.  I would never comment on a photo or wall, but I have seriously considered sending a private message to them.  I mean....what if they just don't know?  

 

For those of you who have chosen to FF early, why is that?  I really want to better understand why some of my friends would make that decision.  To me (and I realize that this is just me), if I have a car that allows for it and my baby is still under his seat's weight limit, I don't really see any extra hassle with RF for several years.  


I'm Rach, full-time mama and part-time doula.  I love my city life with Mr. J stillheart.gif, Little J diaper.gif (05/03/10), and brand new Baby V love.gif (02/11/13)!

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#8 of 20 Old 03-18-2011, 06:46 AM
 
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I regularly post links, youtube videos, etc. about the current recommendations for extended rear-facing (ERF) but I only do that on my wall. I don't comment on people's photos or send them messages. The only people that I am super vocal about for ERF are to my sister for my nieces and my god-daughter's mom.

 

I actually struggled for a couple of days before even sending info to my god-daughter's mom but she had mentioned she was looking for a new seat and she was under the assumption that once her DD turned 1, she should be turned around. She had NO IDEA that infants and toddlers could stay RF after the age of 1. So she was very happy that I spoke up and gave her the info. With my sister and BIL, they have just accepted that I'm not going to shut-up when it comes to safety issues with my nieces so while they may not completely agree/understand, they know that I have done the research and they go along with what I tell them.


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#9 of 20 Old 03-18-2011, 12:10 PM
 
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my kids have sat forward facing after they outgrew their infant seats. pure ignorance on my part I guess. Why have I never heard any different? maybe a carseat awareness page on FB that you could link to? maybe that would help others know? I have learned so much since I found MDC.


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#10 of 20 Old 03-18-2011, 02:02 PM
 
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Please come visit us car seat technicians and safety advocates at www.car-seat.org.  You'll learn all you need to know and more. (No, this is not spam.  Look at my join date and post count.  I've been around a while, mostly in this particular forum.)

 

If you have any specific questions, please post here or start a new thread.

 

Rach, IME/IMO, most parents simply don't understand the vast difference in safety between RFing and FFing.  They may have a vague idea that RFing might be safer, but they don't know exactly why or how much. 


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#11 of 20 Old 03-19-2011, 10:06 AM
 
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I would not comment on the picture.  I have only sent one person a private message and it was because her 7 month old was FF I just sent a nice message and some links about RF safety.  If they were over age one I probably wouldn't send a message.  I post a lot of car seat safety info on facebook so i hope that someone learns something from it.  The woman I sent the message to sent a nice reply and thanked me for the info, then unfriended me :)  hopefully she at least read the info....(she was an a aqauintance fro a playgroup so I didn't know her too well).

 

trekkingirl- there are a lot of car seat safety pages on facebook- Safe kids, carseatblog, nhtsa, car seat lady, do some searches and you'll find several with good info

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#12 of 20 Old 03-19-2011, 03:32 PM
 
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I wouldn't personally contact the person either. I think most people would take that as a personal attack, especially if their child is over 1 and 20lbs and what they're doing is perfectly legal. I do post links on my page and hope that some people read them or watch them and learn something. 


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#13 of 20 Old 03-19-2011, 08:17 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2soren View Post

I don't.  I know some people do.  I'll just post links on my wall to articles about the importance of RF past a year and hope someone notices.  Or, I'll post a pic of my son RF with a caption about how comfy he is RF, or how he likes to tell me about everything he sees as we're driving, etc.  



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#14 of 20 Old 03-21-2011, 01:20 PM
 
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I haven't ever commented on pictures but I did just comment on someone posting a link about the new AAP recommendations. I couldn't help myself because people were commenting and using the whole "our parents didn't use carseats this way and we survived" argument. One girl even said she turned her son forward facing at 6 months because of the weight limit... which I assume she means he outgrew his infant seat... not sure what she put him in after that.

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#15 of 20 Old 03-21-2011, 01:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beansmama View Post

My ds is FF, as is every single one of my friends kids (once they reach the weight limit). I know, personally, if someone commented about me not being safe enough with ds, I'd be pissed. Honestly, it's none of your business. My son is in a proper car seat (britax roundabout, to be exact), and buckled properly as well. I don't feel that I'm being unsafe with him whatsoever.

 

I'd suggest if you want to "speak up", that you do it by posting info in your status updates and whatnot. I think leaving a comment or messaging someone because of a picture would come across as a personal, "greater-than-thou" attack, even when it's not meant to be one...so yeah, there's this FF mama's POV ;)


I agree!

 

This is a place where the passive aggressive way is best... I have several friends that parent totally the opposite of me. I just keep posting information and hope they read it.

 

ETA: The way I see it, I would be beyond irritated if someone insinuated I was a bad parent by not vaxing or co-sleeping. So I try to keep that in mind...


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#16 of 20 Old 03-21-2011, 08:31 PM
 
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I've commented on pictures of kids under 4 in belt positioning boosters, but I wouldn't comment on a toddler rear-facing.  


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#17 of 20 Old 03-24-2011, 07:45 AM
 
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I've done a couple of things. 

 

I too was misinformed about car seat safety. My article on flying with children actually forced me to learn and I realized how many mistakes I had made. I live in Europe (no excuse!) but the situation is worse here (fewer rfing seats, higher harnessed, etc.) 

 

I post pictures of my kids as babies with thick jackets on or ffing to young or too loose straps and then point out the error of my ways on my own comments. So in other words, I hold myself up to be the ignorant one while disseminating the necessary information. Of course, some of you don't have a cache of bad-use car seat photos-and good for you!

 

I'll also try to insert it when they're still pregnant, or just found out they've been matched with a child. "Congratulations! And if you have any questions about car seats, please let me know. I've done a lot of research..." 

 

I do say something when that horrible "We didn't have car seats and we survived..." argument comes up. I will say "That's because those who wouldn't have been here IF they had been in a car seat aren't..." I think we owe it to the little ones lost of our own generation to speak up for them. My mom's reply is a little more tactful. She's a nurse and tells people how they don't have enough child-sized organs for donations anymore because of car seats. "Well that's one disadvantage to using them". Not as many kids being killed in car crashes... Makes the point clear! 

 

ITA on the other parenting issues. My cousin has decided not to vax and my sister is having a fit. I'm all "Please don't say anything!!!!!!" I don't need a family falling-out on FB thank you! 

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#18 of 20 Old 03-24-2011, 08:32 AM
 
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Instead of commenting to specific people, I have posted links to articles about RFing on my own page.  The first time I did it, I got so many heated responses you would have thought I suggested that people strap their babies to the roof!  Several people (including my sister and one of my closest friends) commented that it was "ridiculous."  One friend kept posting quotes about worry, implying that I needed to stop worrying about it.  It was infuriating, but I continue to post the articles I see.  I felt vindicated when the AAP came out with their new recommendations.

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#19 of 20 Old 03-24-2011, 08:32 AM
 
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I don't think I'd mention it, either. I've learned by now, that because of my age, because I haven't had any kids yet, most of my older, child-savvy friends think I shouldn't know what I know as it is, so... All it would wind up doing is starting an argument, since I shouldn't "know anything yet" since I haven't had any kids, and since they "know much better" *shrugs*.
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#20 of 20 Old 03-27-2011, 10:08 PM
 
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I know this probably isn't the usual reason, but we forward faced after a year due to extreme carsickness. I tried forcing myself to keep him RF but eventually it became obvious that it was much more dangerous to have me trying to sweep the vomit out of his mouth and pull over than it was to FF. Mostly we avoided the car as much as possible and started biking, which I guess is a whole other set of statistical nightmares waiting to happen, but, boy, is it ever glorious fun.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rachieface View Post

Trekkin girl, rear facing reduces the risk of death in a crash by 71%, and the risk of injury in a crash by 75%.  The APA recommends that children rear face for as long as their seat allows.  It is SO much safer for your toddler/preschooler to be rear facing in the unlikely event of a crash.  

 

Yeah, I am afraid of coming across as a jerk, but I am just sincerely worried that they just don't know the massive benefits of extended RF.  I would never comment on a photo or wall, but I have seriously considered sending a private message to them.  I mean....what if they just don't know?  

 

For those of you who have chosen to FF early, why is that?  I really want to better understand why some of my friends would make that decision.  To me (and I realize that this is just me), if I have a car that allows for it and my baby is still under his seat's weight limit, I don't really see any extra hassle with RF for several years.  



 

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