DD's car anxiety is interfering with regular interactions with the outside world (x-posted from Parenting) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 10-18-2011, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD has never cared for the car and cries the duration of the trip if I am compelled to drive and she has sit alone in the backseat. We figured out pretty quickly that me sitting in the backseat with her= contentment and tranquility for all of us. 

 

 

Mirrors don't help. Singing and making animal noises helps... sometimes. Music doesn't help. White noise doesn't help. Me reaching back to stroke her face only makes her more agitated. Stopping to nurse/comfort her/take her out only angers her more when I have to put her back in her seat.  Me reciting our favorite books helps for a minute or two. A pacifier doesn't help. 

 

The bawling and screaming during our car trips have really put a damper on our excursions. I'd love to take her to the zoo (we have a membership), orchards, the pumpkin patch, etc but the drives cause us both so much anxiety that it is hardly worth the 20-30 minute drive. Of course we still go out and grocery shop and complete bare necessities. But the fun stuff is kind of... on hold.

 

Given that she is almost a year old, what is a developmentally appropriate expectation for her? I want to respect her discomfort and avoid putting her through stressful experiences that can be easily avoided. But we have a just as valid need to get out and interact with the world. She thrives on it (once we arrive). 

 

I would really appreciate words of encouragement and reassurance, as well as coping techniques. 

 

I can't wait for the day that she enjoys car rides. That probably won't happen until she is FF, which will be awhile... :(

 


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#2 of 11 Old 10-19-2011, 05:01 PM
 
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Is she in an infant seat or convertible?  How upright is it?  You may be able to put her more upright which would allow her to see out the windows.  Have you tried small toys or non-chokable snacks?  Sippy with water?

 

It can be tought at that age.  They do outgrow it.  At some point you can reason with them a bit about the car (my 2yo understands if she wants to go to gymnastics she has to ride in her car seat, for example).


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#3 of 11 Old 10-20-2011, 05:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She is in a convertible, a Britax Boulevard. She is comfortably upright. The Boulevard has  large head bumpers to each side, so it is difficult for her to look out of a window without her leaning forward. It's a not ideal, but I assume most seats significantly impact side views as well.

 

We have tried small toys and snacks, as well as her sippy. They each help calm her down for a matter seconds/minutes before they are either purposefully or accidentally tossed over the side of her car seat. 


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#4 of 11 Old 10-20-2011, 12:05 PM
 
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A seat with less headwings could potentially help.  The MyRide has deep sides, but they are further away from the head so don't block the view as much.  I would guess the True Fit is similar.


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#5 of 11 Old 10-20-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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My youngest was the same way, she would scream until she vomited every single time we were in the car for more than a couple minutes. We turned her forward facing the day she turned a year old and haven't regretted it at all. It's a world of difference. She went from angry and sick to happy and content. If I were you I would try turning her forward facing and drive somewhere safe for a few minutes (like a big empty parking lot) to see if that's the problem and if it is then at least you know that it will get much better as soon as she can be forward facing. 

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#6 of 11 Old 10-22-2011, 03:36 AM
 
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It is both illegal and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS for a child of the OP's age to be forward facing.   It is simply not an option that can even be considered.     While it may be legal to turn a 1 year old forward facing, it is not safe.  It is extremely common for children of that age to pitch a fit in the car.  Basically, you have to deal with it until it passes.


This means, like the OP is doing, limiting car trips to necessary ones and trying to find diversions that might temporarily distract the child.  It IS normal OP, but it's definitely not fun.  

 

The good news is, it is a phase, and it does pass.  My kids, all of whom had extended periods of being truly miserable in the car, went on to ride comfortably and happily REAR FACING for many years.   

 

 

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#7 of 11 Old 10-24-2011, 10:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maedze View Post

It is both illegal and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS for a child of the OP's age to be forward facing.   It is simply not an option that can even be considered.     While it may be legal to turn a 1 year old forward facing, it is not safe.  It is extremely common for children of that age to pitch a fit in the car.  Basically, you have to deal with it until it passes.

This means, like the OP is doing, limiting car trips to necessary ones and trying to find diversions that might temporarily distract the child.  It IS normal OP, but it's definitely not fun.  

 

The good news is, it is a phase, and it does pass.  My kids, all of whom had extended periods of being truly miserable in the car, went on to ride comfortably and happily REAR FACING for many years.   

 

 



Relax, take off your car seat safety hat, and reread my post. I suggested she go to a big empty place where the danger of an accident is extremely tiny and turn the seat forward for a few minutes (turning it rear facing again before she goes home). If her baby is happy during that time then she know it's just a phase and not a bigger issue with the car. If her baby is still angry during those few forward facing minutes then she can move on to try other things. 

 

It was just a suggestion of a way to see if it makes a difference while keeping her child safe. Why flip out about how it's illegal and dangerous? Chill. 

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#8 of 11 Old 10-24-2011, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am fairly certain she would be fine FF, and so I will not turn her around just to see, even in a parking lot. The novelty of getting a completely different and interesting perspective might completely override any discomfort she would be feeling. I would have to drive around FF for a good amount of time for the novelty to wear of some to be SURE there weren't any other issues. I am absolutely not willing to do that. Plus, think turning her FF only to go right back to RF would only cause a lot of frustration and confusion when I turn her back around.

 

It's like giving a child a taste of candy "just to see if they like it". Of course they will like it. But then they can't have anymore, so... where does that leave the kid...

 

I do appreciate the suggestion, but I just don't think it will work for us.

 

 


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#9 of 11 Old 10-24-2011, 06:02 PM
 
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Because it is illegal and dangerous, and car seat safety is not just a jolly game to give us something to occupy our time with.   

There is absolutely no purpose to turning the child forward facing.  The child can't be forward facing, because it is unsafe.   Children might stop tantrumming if you hand them a shiny, silver 12" knife, but who cares?  Because you can't give a child a knife to play with.   It's irrelevant. 
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by elus0814 View Post

Relax, take off your car seat safety hat, and reread my post. I suggested she go to a big empty place where the danger of an accident is extremely tiny and turn the seat forward for a few minutes (turning it rear facing again before she goes home). If her baby is happy during that time then she know it's just a phase and not a bigger issue with the car. If her baby is still angry during those few forward facing minutes then she can move on to try other things. 

 

It was just a suggestion of a way to see if it makes a difference while keeping her child safe. Why flip out about how it's illegal and dangerous? Chill. 



 


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#10 of 11 Old 10-24-2011, 11:41 PM
 
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Have you covered the windows with some sort of film to help with the sun? My baby was doing this and it turned out simply that the sun was in his eyes, or that he saw the sun and was afraid that it would be in his eyes (as it probably was once). Anyway, it was the sun he objected to...

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#11 of 11 Old 10-26-2011, 07:29 AM
 
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I agree with the PP that some window cling type sun blinds might help. They made quite a difference for us.

 

Another option that might be worth looking at is the sea bands travel sickness bands. I'm sure I've seen child sized ones and I think they were pretty cheep. Though knowing my kids they would have them off and thrown over the side in a matter of minutes.

 

 

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