How to tell a friend they are using the five point harness incorrectly? ? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 12-13-2011, 07:24 PM - Thread Starter
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I was riding around with a friend today with an 8 week old lo, and I have a 3 month old.  both babes were in the car.  My lo was all snugged up in her harness... we got our seat checked at the hospital and learned exactly how to do it.  That was policy at the hospital we gave birth at.  Our friend was at a different hospital, different county all together..... Anyway, her lo was SO loose in the five point harness that his arm even came out one time.  The buckle snap was SO low, it was almost touching the snap part. the straps were SO loose.  She is aware of safety, she's a great mom. I just couldn't believe she thought this was fine ... I was worried the whole time, but didn't know how to say it.  I thought if she saw my lo she would realize how different the two set ups looked, but she never did.  How can I gently tell her to fix it asap... Im worried for the little guy... 

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#2 of 5 Old 12-13-2011, 07:58 PM
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How close are you? Will you ride with them again?

Nonchalantly notice and say something like, "Dude those straps are way too loose, can I tighten them??" She might not realize.

My bff didnt realize the chest clip was supposed to be up as high, and was very appreciative when i showed her where it goes.

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#3 of 5 Old 12-13-2011, 08:17 PM
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Do it as nicely and nonconfrontational as possible.  Something like "you know, at the hospital we had xxx at they showed us how to use our car seat.  I had no idea the straps had to be tight (insert pinch test short description) and the chest clip is supposed to be at armpit level!  Can I show you how I was taught to adjust the car seat harness?   I just want to make sure your little is as safe as can be in the car [maybe adding "because I care about you both" or something like that]. 

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#4 of 5 Old 12-14-2011, 09:13 AM
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Yup, just say it.


If it is ongoing *then* you have a problem (EVERY TIME I saw my nephew he was in his car seat wrong and my BIL felt it was a "personal parenting decision").  But most people just don't know without being told.



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#5 of 5 Old 12-14-2011, 01:32 PM
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Defiantly just come out with it, I'd say something like, "Oh no her staps must have loosened do you want me to fix it?" Then mention how the hospital went on and on about how it saved all these kids lives and its so important.


Act like you assume she was doing it correctly, but it somehow got messed up and isn't it amazing how important and life saving the straps correctly can be.


I even saw a video on Youtube (can't find it) where a van got hit by a TRAIN and her correctly strapped in child survived without a scratch.


If you don't say something you'll regret it always if something happens. After you've said your peace its up to them. And you said she was a good Mom, If it were me and I didn't know something so important I'd want someone to tell me.

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