I have a question....(long) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 12-09-2013, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We are fixing up a new place for us to move to. A few weeks ago when my husband was over there working, a big dog came over and was very persistent about coming onto our property. Mike had to chase him off again and again. We have chickens and of course a little boy, who fortunately was not with Mike at the time but Mike was really shook up and frightened.

 

Mike somehow figured out who is responsible for the big dog and went to talk to the party. The one he talked with was the grandson of our neighbor, David, a nice elderly gentleman. The grandson did not seem to take it seriously that their big dog kept trying to get on our property and frightened my husband. He smirked and said that yeah, it isn't the first time the dog went missing and they had no idea where he was. No apology. Just before Mike left, he said that if the dog comes back, he won't be coming to talk to them, he will be calling the dog law officer. Apparently that got them angry. A day or two later the elderly gentleman David came to our property (according to what Mike told me last night) and started talking angrily to Mike. Mike smiled and said "David, I don't want you talking to me like that, and I don't want your big dog coming down again." David left in a huff, telling Mike not to come up to his property anymore. (Mike had been going up to his property for spring water, which flows out in a pipe and is great for drinking. However there are other local places we can get spring water)

 

I didn't know that we now have an angry neighbor over there until last night, and now I'm very concerned. I think it's best to do almost anything to keep your neighbors happy, so that if and when they notice something "not the status quo" about us they will be inclined to come and talk to us rather than report us to the authorities. We have a neighbor here where we currently live who has reported us numerous times and it is traumatic, esp. when they send Children and Youth Services to our door! Of course, they are on drugs and all, but I can't help but think that my husband's forceful and combative tendencies don't help!

 

I am quite disturbed that Mike has managed to make an enemy of a neighbor over there now, too. Mike says he does want to work at speaking more softly and being more gentle, but otherwise he seems quite unrepentant. I'm thinking of contacting the neighbor and apologizing for whatever happened, telling him that I want to be a good neighbor and please, if there's ever any questions come to me (I'd give him my cell phone number) before contacting the authorities. It's just so shocking to have authorities show up for things I had no idea anyone thought they saw or is an issue with anyone. Should I contact the irate neighbor or should I let it go? By the way, I don't want the big dog to come back either! What would you do?

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#2 of 6 Old 12-09-2013, 04:09 AM
 
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Honestly....I think your husband handled it right. Well right from an outsiders perspective. If he absolutely went into rage, then obviously no but if he was calm about getting his point across then he did great. The neighbor didn't do anything,didn't even apologize and refuses to keep their dog at least fenced in. You can't be afraid to stick up for yourself just so people will be nicer to you. That dog could become a major issue and it's better to handle it now then after someone gets hurt.


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#3 of 6 Old 12-09-2013, 05:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Annlea. From what Mike says the neighbor did not apologize and did not indicate in any way that he'll make sure the dog stays home, however (thankfully!) the dog has not come back so far, that we know of. I know my husband was quite shook up but from what I know not in a rage. I just so much want for us to be able to move and no longer have neighbors reporting us when we are innocent and without even trying to  talk to us.

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#4 of 6 Old 12-09-2013, 07:25 PM
 
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You weren't there to see what tone your husband took with the grandson, and it sounds like his temper may have gotten him into some arguments in the past. Perhaps the grandson was a little shaken up (especially if he was a minor, and not the homeowner) by what your husband said and took it as a threat...he would have told his grandfather about it, and that would have ticked off the grandfather. It probably could have been handled better. I would make an effort to talk to the grandfather about the dog, and keep your husband in the loop..bring him with you, and have him be apologetic if he needs to. That said, you have a son and chickens to worry about, so make yourself very clear about your expectations with the dog. If they don't have a plan in place to keep the dog restrained, they need to make one ASAP.

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#5 of 6 Old 12-10-2013, 09:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, my husband has definitely had anger and temper problems that have caused significent problems which is why I'm so concerned. And, he tends to tell someone "You are wrong" or "You're at fault" which in my opinion doesn't bring good results. I am not sure what I would say to the neighbor though since it really is not OK for the big dog to come over unattended, ever. "Hey neighbor, I'm sorry for whatever happened between you and Mike, it's really OK, Mike was just quite shook up and his fright got the best of him. Just please be sure  not to let the dog come back unattended" somehow doesn't sound right. I personally don't think I would've told him I'll call the dog law officer next time, all the same, I would call the dog law officer if he came the second time. It's a matter of basic safety, which we take seriously. And yet, I'm also scared of ticed-off neighbors.

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#6 of 6 Old 12-13-2013, 12:03 PM
 
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I always call the police on dogs who come at me. I run a lot and can tell you that if your dog runs in the street at me, chases me etc. I will be calling the police. If you're not responsible enough to look after your pet then don't own one. Your husband wasn't wrong on this one. 

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