When did you FF your carseat? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: When did you turn your carseat FF?
At one year 31 21.83%
Between 13-18 months 28 19.72%
Between 19-24 months 34 23.94%
Over 2 years 49 34.51%
Voters: 142. You may not vote on this poll

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#61 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 07:22 PM
 
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DD HAAAAATES the carseat with a vengeance. She is still RF at 28m (she's a peanut, about 32" and 26lbs) We have to plan our entire day around her if the trip will be over 20 minutes. She either has to be sleeping or eating in it or she will be screaming. I think she probably would be happier FF.

She won't be FF until she reaches the limits on her Britax Marathon for RF. I don't care how much she screams. Her physical safety in one of the most dangerous things in the world-being in a car- is a priority even above her happiness while in the car. Her screaming does not distract me- I know she is safe and comfortable, just bored and angry that she's not getting attention, which is sad, but necessary. I learned to drive while blasting metal so I guess I'm used to loud noise! But seriously, I would be FAR more distracted if she were FF, because I'd be even MORE worried about getting into an accident. I've been in an accident with DD in the car, and it was terrifying. We were rear ended on the highway and smashed into the car in front of us. DD was FINE. I wasn't. I was thinking about what could've happened if she were FF.

Kids are still going to cry sometimes, even when they're FF. It's important to learn how to operate a vehicle properly with distractions going on. If a loud ambulance is near you, if a deer jumps out, if a drunk driver's on the road- you still have to drive defensively and take control even if you feel sick, scared, shaky, etc. I'm not trying to downplay the feelings mothers have from listening to their little ones scream and cry- I'm a mom too, and I feel the same way- but in the car, I force myself to tune it out and realize she's safer this way.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#62 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 08:41 PM
 
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But if her child is forward facing, an accident as minor as a 10mph collision could internally decapitate that child, killing him immediately.
Is this true? Because we were rear-ended at a high speed. My 5 month old was rear facing. Isn't rear-facing in a rear-end accident the same as forward facing in a forward accident?

At first I was glad that he was rear facing, but after researching it, I discovered he would actually have been safer forward facing for this particular accident.

Overall, rear facing is safer because front end crashes are more common, and tend to be at higher speeds.
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#63 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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Isn't rear-facing in a rear-end accident the same as forward facing in a forward accident?
No; it is analogous in some ways but definitely not the same.

Force (i.e. on your neck) is a function of acceleration, which is an expression of how much and how quickly your speed changes.

If you are driving 40 mph and hit something big and immovable head on, your speed is going to go from 40 to 0 in a matter of heartbeats -- a severe acceleration and severe force on your neck. THis is the senario that is simulated in all the crash test videos I've seen.

If you are stopped at a red light and someone who is going 40 mph rear-ends you, you will accelerate forward (and I'm sure you felt the lurch, it's happened to me) but you will not accelerate to 40mph in the blink of an eye. The collision is very in-elastic, and energy is absorbed by your car, the other car, your brakes, the internal friction in your transmission and drive train, etc. etc. In this scenario, the mass and inertia of your car are your allies.

The point you are making is valid; someone sitting rear-facing in a rear-collison would feel as if he is being thrown toward the rear of the car rather than into the back of his seat. And it would be possible to suffer a neck injury in a case like this. But the forces involved will vary significantly from a head-on collision at the same speed.
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#64 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 11:50 AM
 
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You can get DVD screens that attach to a seat head rest.

Many different brands out there but this is an example of one(it has a car seat strap)

http://www.geeks.com/details.asp?inv...5BLK-R&cpc=SCH

Our van has a factory installed DVD player which is great for our almost 4 year old who is FF.
For our next big trip I will consider getting one that attaches to the head rest for RF DD.
I am sure it would be considered a projectile and I am very careful about projectiles in the car. But for an 18 hour straight drive I'd rather have the DVD player then my DD FF(she is almost 23 months)

DD was 18 months and 28 lbs when we switched to FF againist my educated judgment and to go back I would not allow my DH and MIL to convince me to switch.

FWIW I am an inexperienced driver(although I have had my license for 11 years I just never drove) learning to drive a van in winter conditions.

Both kids take fits in the car at some point, no matter which direction they are facing.
Its something I have to block out or I pull over otherwise its dangerous for all of us.
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#65 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 02:53 PM
 
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I think the results of the poll say it all...it is just about even among the 4 options. Thus telling me, everyone does things their own way. Whatever is best for them and their family.

I've learned one big lesson in my first year and half of parenting...stop worrying about what other parents do. (This is not directed at anyone but myself)
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#66 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 04:21 PM
 
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I think the results of the poll say it all...it is just about even among the 4 options. Thus telling me, everyone does things their own way. Whatever is best for them and their family.

I've learned one big lesson in my first year and half of parenting...stop worrying about what other parents do. (This is not directed at anyone but myself)
tottaly, i stopped worrying about how anyone else does it a while ago, its not worth it. Just follow whats best for you and yours.
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#67 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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Our van has a factory installed DVD player which is great for our almost 4 year old who is FF.
My rfing son can still see our DVD player just fine. He's in a Britax Boulevard w/ it as reclined as possible.

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I've learned one big lesson in my first year and half of parenting...stop worrying about what other parents do.
I think it's silly to say you can't ever worry about what other parents do. There are many times when other parents are doing dangerous things (like turning thier kids ffing before they should be) when you need to worry about them for the sake of the children.

Jennifer, LPN and nursing student, Doula, CPST, and VBAC mama x3 to
AJ (5/03), Evan (12/04), Ilana (11/06), Olivia (2/09), and Unity (8/2012)

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#68 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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Originally Posted by thepeach80 View Post
My rfing son can still see our DVD player just fine. He's in a Britax Boulevard w/ it as reclined as possible.


I think it's silly to say you can't ever worry about what other parents do. There are many times when other parents are doing dangerous things (like turning thier kids ffing before they should be) when you need to worry about them for the sake of the children.
Well, of course I worry...to myself. I try to keep things in perspective and realize I have ZERO idea what is going on in their life. I feel the same way you do, really.

I guess I see things *I* think are dangerous all the time. Am I supposed to go up to every foward facing toddler I see and ask about the weight limits of their seat? Or ask how much their baby weighs? Should I inquire if a formula feeding mom knows BF is best? What about the Mom's buying giant plastic toys at Wal-Mart?

Many, many parents would think some of the choices I make are dangerous. I delay vaxes, I co-slept, I don't hover over her every move and yep....she falls.

They can think whatever they want. I'm still going to do what I think is best for my child and my family. And again, it doesn't matter to me what other's choose. (Unless they ask me point blank for an opinion)
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#69 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 06:04 PM
 
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I understand that totally, I do b/c I'm the same way, but I see these threads as a learning experience for some. I don't get up in arms about these threads and shove the info down people's throats (at least I hope I don't ) but I do feel it's important for other's to share their choices and why they chose that and give mom's other ideas and things to think about. Not only might it help those who might be doing something dangerous, it gives those of us who didn't choose that way maybe a time to understand why other mom's chose that and try to understand them as well. I think we have to remember online is VERY different than real life. I can be much more open and up front here on MDC than I can a lot of times w/ moms I see at the grocery store.

Jennifer, LPN and nursing student, Doula, CPST, and VBAC mama x3 to
AJ (5/03), Evan (12/04), Ilana (11/06), Olivia (2/09), and Unity (8/2012)

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#70 of 89 Old 11-29-2007, 09:59 PM
 
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38 months and still RF (the 12 month old is RF as well)...DD1 hated the car but was so petite she didn't reach 22 lbs (the min for FF on my car seat)until 2 maybe...by that point she could look at books and was ok (maybe 18 months?).

I should also point out that my dd is a breath-holder - when she is upset she holds her breath until she passes out or goes into convulsions. Sometimes vomits, loses control of her bodily functions, etc. Soooo, yeah, I know what you guys mean by distracting...

My solution? Live somewhere where you don't have to drive all the time...:
We drove maybe once a week, strolled everywhere else (or wore her). I mean, I'd hate being strapped in a car seat all day too, you know?
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#71 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 12:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by devster4fun View Post
I think the results of the poll say it all...it is just about even among the 4 options. Thus telling me, everyone does things their own way. Whatever is best for them and their family.

I've learned one big lesson in my first year and half of parenting...stop worrying about what other parents do. (This is not directed at anyone but myself)
Thanks for posting, I appreciate your thoughts.

I didn't post the poll to get opinions about RF vs FF...I know the stats on that...I'm well-educated on the subject. I'm not worried about what other moms are doing so I can put myself on par with them, as I know my child best. My poll and question was directed at moms with car-hating children. I was searching for alternatives to FF my approx 28 lb son. I feel I have tried every possible thing to ease our MANDATORY car ride together. It is not as if he cried once and I jumped on line. I've tried snacks...and yes oyster crackers work for a brief amount of time. This is a snack I never give my son but discovered this one ride home when all I had in the car was the crackers left over from lunch with me...I've tried a paci, bottles, sippy cups, mom's cell phone, my house keys, he has a big ol' mirror, his fave CDs, constantly singing, talking out our ride or our day, having special toys just for the car, buckets of toys being passed back one at a time which NEVER worked...he throws them faster than I can pass them back. The ONLY thing that works is holding my hand. It is how he soothes himself to sleep. It is how he soothes himself to sleep when we are home. And after a long 8+ hours of being w/o me he wants to touch me...he's tired from daycare and we need to get home. I'm a teacher I work set hours, I can't travel at different times, I can't not take him to daycare, I have to be the one who takes him b/c it is near my job...DH works 1+ hours in the opposite direction. After a very lengthy daycare search this was not only the best place I could find, but it was one of two places in three counties that had openings for infants before June! I need to make this work until April when I am on maternity leave again as we are still trying to catch up from the having taken off this past year. The only thing I haven't tried is the DVD player.

Added catch is...and those of you with Forresters understand its shortcomings...two RF carseats do not fit in a Forrester. The damn car is touted as a family car but doesn't exactly fit carseats. We learned this with my son't infant seat. It ONLY fits in the middle spot. In order to put it in the side seats, the front seats have to be pushed all the way forward...we are too tall to drive like that and neither of us can fit behind the driver's seat. When we bought the BLVD it fit better in the middle spot, it doesn't reach into the front like the snugride does...but it is still big. We recently tried putting the snugride and the BLVD in together and can't fit them both next to each unless the BLVD is FF...in addition to the fact that putting the BLVD behind the passenger seat creates the same problem as the snugride in that position which is the seat has to be all the way forward and no one can sit up front then, nor can we fit in the spot behind the driver. The Forrester sucks...we are stuck with it for 2 more years w/o options of a newer car. So again I am facing having to FF sooner than I wanted. Come April my son will be 15months old...

I am troubled by the whole subject. It kept me up all last night again, as I am sure it will do tonight too.

Thanks again to all the moms of children who hate the car...I appreciate your support/advice.

Mama to Jack (12/7/06) & Liam (4/3/08) & Iris Hope (10/6/10)
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#72 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 12:14 AM
 
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Added catch is...and those of you with Forresters understand its shortcomings...two RF carseats do not fit in a Forrester.
I've heard complaints about carseats in Forresters before. How upright have you tried the blvd? I saw a mom-friend recently who had her blvd MUCH more upright than I would have thought about. But my understanding is that it's okay that way.

good luck!

-Angela
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#73 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 01:54 AM
 
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The ONLY thing that works is holding my hand. It is how he soothes himself to sleep. It is how he soothes himself to sleep when we are home.

http://www.thezaky.com/en/zaky/zaky.php

:

I know it wouldn't work - the thing actually sort of scares me. But I thought of it when I read your post.
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#74 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 02:17 AM
 
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We actually haven't turned it yet, but since ds is over two years, I chose over two years.

treehugger.gifMama to DS (3/05 )carrot.gifh20homebirth.gif, wife to DH bikenew.gif, remembering rainbow1284.gifdog2.gifdog2.gif and angel1.gif Spirit 1/07, angel1.gif Hope 5/09, angel1.gif Harmony 6/10, angel1.gif Love 5/11, angel1.gif Joy 6/11
 

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#75 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 05:47 AM
 
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I think that zaky thing is beyond creepy

:Puke

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#76 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 05:50 AM
 
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I think that zaky thing is beyond creepy

:Puke
creepy, weird, yet a good tool for preemies
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#77 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 11:08 AM
 
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I've heard complaints about carseats in Forresters before. How upright have you tried the blvd? I saw a mom-friend recently who had her blvd MUCH more upright than I would have thought about. But my understanding is that it's okay that way.

good luck!

-Angela
I can install a Britax seat VERY upright. It's also o.k. to be shoved against the front seat, they don't have to be clear of them like some seats.

Jennifer, LPN and nursing student, Doula, CPST, and VBAC mama x3 to
AJ (5/03), Evan (12/04), Ilana (11/06), Olivia (2/09), and Unity (8/2012)

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#78 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 01:08 PM
 
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I turned dd1 and ds around at about 14 months old.

18mo dd2 is still RF and will be as long as she can be according to weight limits (which would probably be 4yo if she's small like her big sis) and is happy.

She doesn't mind being RF because she's in the middle of the middle seat of the van... and her older siblings are behind her in the back seat. So it's easy for them to visit and have a good time while we drive.
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#79 of 89 Old 11-30-2007, 01:10 PM
 
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Oh, just thought I'd throw this out there... have you tried a motion sickness remedy? We like the one made by Hyland's (maker of the teething tablets).
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#80 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 12:27 AM
 
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Ds also is not crazy about riding in the car, but it's not nearly as bad as some of you describe. Holding the remote for the car doors really keeps him happy for a long time. I only give it to him when he's fussy in the car, so it's "special."
This was a bad, bad idea. Ds chewed on the remote a bunch yesterday and the car started going nuts last night, just locking and unlocking itself and flashing the lights over and over when it was turned off. I finally got it to stop by leaving the key in the ignition with it parked in the garage. So, I do not recommend giving your dc the car remote to keep them happy in their carseats.
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#81 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 12:33 AM
 
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I turned dd one around at one because I thought that was what you were supposed to do. With this baby, I am not sure what we will do. Rear facing does not work so well in my car, camry, but we have a good car seat tech locally so I will try to get her help to make it work as long as we can.

I feel for those of you with kiddos who HATE car rides. Must be hard.
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#82 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 01:47 AM
 
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blueirises, since he hates it so much and you believe it's because of lack of contact/tiredness after day care, can you just sit and hold him or nurse him before leaving daycare? Maybe tell him "let's sit here for 10 minutes and snuggle before we get on the road." Then, shorten it to 5 minutes, gradually, you know? It sounds like the poor little guy is just miserable back there, and you must be pretty miserable too. I can't imagine trying to drive like you describe.
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#83 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 02:25 AM
 
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we just just turned ds FF at 2.9 yrs only because he weighs 32 1/2 lbs and we needed his car seat for the baby who was outgrowing the infant seat. I seriously contemplated buying a scenara for the 35 lb weight limit but couldn't convince dh.

He is pretty tall too but never once complained and just sorta bent his legs or folded them. I think he was more comfy and napped more often rear facing but alas he reached the rf'ing limit of his seat.

eta: ok just read the OP and luckily none of my kids hated being in their car seat so we didn't have your issues, I do think I'd try everything possible to keep them calm before turning any child under age 2.

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#84 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 04:29 PM
 
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Justin was a year old... I didn't know any better.

Rebecca was a hair under two years old... she was small enough to stay rear facing, but she would kick the seat behind her so much that the carseat would gradually start laying back too much. And it was in TIGHT!

Ideally, I would have kept her rear facing until 33 lbs, but that would have been about another year, and it just wasn't working out.
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#85 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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blueirises, since he hates it so much and you believe it's because of lack of contact/tiredness after day care, can you just sit and hold him or nurse him before leaving daycare? Maybe tell him "let's sit here for 10 minutes and snuggle before we get on the road." Then, shorten it to 5 minutes, gradually, you know? It sounds like the poor little guy is just miserable back there, and you must be pretty miserable too. I can't imagine trying to drive like you describe.
I do hold and play with him for about 10 minutes before we leave. This gives me not only time with him but I am able to talk with his teachers too. Sometimes I am early enough that I get there to give him his bottle (I'm pregnat with #2 so my milk dried up about 5 weeks ago) so we sit and rock in the chair together. I have also asked to make sure that for at least the 15 minutes before I am scheduled to come, he is not eating at the snack table but is playing on the floor so he doesn't go from one confining seat to another.

I am counting down the days to Christmas break so I am not making the drive with him and we will be home together...then the count down will be until February break...and then April when my maternity leave begins...I just need to get through these next few weeks.

Thank you Betsy for your kindness!

Mama to Jack (12/7/06) & Liam (4/3/08) & Iris Hope (10/6/10)
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#86 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 09:07 PM
 
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Hoping for some change or improvement in your situation - SOON!

-Angela
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#87 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 09:22 PM
 
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just another notch on the side of going car-free.
while necessary for safety, carseats just arent really attachment parenting.
sigh.
I'm so glad my DD finally accepted her car seat, and now in her booster she freaks out hysterically if she's not in her seatbelt
Attachment parenting involves meeting your child's needs.

One of your child's needs is to be safe.

So yeah, car seats are most definitely AP

-sarah-
mom to three, 4 and under.
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#88 of 89 Old 12-01-2007, 09:24 PM
 
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just another notch on the side of going car-free.
while necessary for safety, carseats just arent really attachment parenting.

Maybe if we put an organic lambskin and a plastic boob in there it'd make it a little more AP? Hook a pump to mama in the front seat and run it to a nipple in the back?
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#89 of 89 Old 12-03-2007, 09:31 PM
 
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It's so "safe", in fact, that in the US the number ONE killer of children age one and up is auto accidents - exactly because they are turned forward facing when it's "legal" and supposedly safe. But no, it's not safe. Forward facing costs lives. Even adults would be safer riding backwards...but that isn't really an option right now.

Before the age of one, the number one killer of children is birth defects.

Interestingly, in Sweden where children rear face to age 5, only NINE...count them...NINE children died in five years in auto accidents.

You might want to do some looking into this.
I am wondering about this.. I fully understand (and agree) that a child should be RF as long as possible and I intend on doing that. But Im wondering about these statistics. What are the speed limits like in Sweden? Are people allowed to talk on their cell phones and drive? (its legal in my state, but not all.) Do people rely on their cars as heavily in Sweden as they do in the US? Nine children in five years sounds like such a low number, there has to be more to it than just RF.
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