When did you FF your carseat? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: When did you turn your carseat FF?
At one year 31 21.83%
Between 13-18 months 28 19.72%
Between 19-24 months 34 23.94%
Over 2 years 49 34.51%
Voters: 142. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just to add more guilt to my situation describe in my previous post...when did you turn the carseat FF? I would love to hear from moms of babies who hated the carseat.

Mama to Jack (12/7/06) & Liam (4/3/08) & Iris Hope (10/6/10)
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#2 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:23 AM
 
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Dd is over 3 yrs and still RF. I wouldn't turn a child under 2 who met the limits for the seat unless there were an extraordinary health issue.

-Angela
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#3 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:25 AM
 
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I turned DS's when he was 14 months. He weighed 28lbs and the problem was it was over 100 degrees and our volvo didnt have air conditioning vents. He got extremely hot and a heat rash and we had to turn him FF so he could get the a/c. I thought he'd have a heat stroke. But now we just bought a new car and he's back to RF.
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#4 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:27 AM
 
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I just did it a few weeks ago and DS turned two August 3rd. We have the Britax Marathon and the weight limit is 33 pounds. DS is really big for his age -- I wanted him to RF for a lot longer! -- but he's now over 33 pounds.

Formerly New Mama to Henry, born August 2005 and Silas, born November 2010.
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#5 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:29 AM
 
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nak twelve mos with the last two, but I didn't know any better.:
I'm planning much longer with this one...

caution: one-handed nak

typos likely

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#6 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:36 AM
 
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DD is still rearfacing at 25 months.
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#7 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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Still RF here at 20 mos.

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#8 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Dd is over 3 yrs and still RF. I wouldn't turn a child under 2 who met the limits for the seat unless there were an extraordinary health issue.

-Angela
As stated I'm looking for responses from moms who have children who do not do well in the car...and I don't mean just a bit fussy.

Mama to Jack (12/7/06) & Liam (4/3/08) & Iris Hope (10/6/10)
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#9 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BlueIrises View Post
Just to add more guilt to my situation describe in my previous post...when did you turn the carseat FF? I would love to hear from moms of babies who hated the carseat.
I voted "at one year" because you asked to hear from moms of carseat hating babies. My first was one of those, and I turned him on his birthday, and he was much happier. However, I didn't know what I know now about the safety of rear facing vs forward facing - I might have waited longer, or I might have done the same thing.

My later children were turned at 18 months (DD, when she reached the rearfacing limit of the seat) and 2+ (DS2 who is 26 months and will be rearfacing until he reaches the limit of his seat.)
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#10 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:52 AM
 
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DD1 was turned around when she hit 20 lbs, sometime around 1.5y, too early. DD2 is 13m and 2 year is my min to turn her around, I'm sure it will be quite a bit longer then that.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#11 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
I might have waited longer, or I might have done the same thing.
Just to be clear, the reason I might have done the same thing, is that I was a distracted driver for an entire year after DS was born. I had to drive one handed most of the time, because he needed my finger in his mouth or caressing his face. I even got in a fender bender when he was 6 weeks old - my fault, because I was responding to hlis cries and didn't stop completely enough at a red light and rearended the car in front of me. It really wasn't safe, especially since he was also a non-sleeping baby and I was driving sleep deprived. I don't know if it was safer for him to forward face with a lower chance of me actually having an accident, or rear face with a higher chance of and accident. And facing him forward really did help his car disposition exponentially - and when he did get upset, I was able to tend to him more easily from the front seat, since I didn't have to contort my body to reach him while somehow still keeping my eyes on the road.
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#12 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:55 AM
 
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around 19/20mths. We tryed for as long as we could to not do it, but it just kept escalating and we were driving around without him in the seat at all because i had to calm him down. We turned it, and he now tolerates it a bit more. We are looking into getting a newer one that he picks out so that might make him more tolerant of it.

he used to hold his breath, hyperventalarte, pull at the chest clip until his hands were bleeding, scream so loud and shrill it was becoming to distracting and dangerous for my dh to drive. I sit in the backseat with him all the time, we tryed everything we could, special toys (they just got thrown at us), mr click, music, simply just forcing him into it, it used to take me AND dh to hold ds down and i would quickly fasten the crotch clip then the chest slip before ds could contort his way out of it. I have had bruised on my arms from where ds pinched and bit me as i was putting him in the seat.

now that its foward facing, he will either climb into it himself, or if I ask, he waits for you to put him in and helps you do it up, sometimes he still fights, but not as hard and once strapped in he no longer pulls at the chest clip hurting his hands.
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#13 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 12:59 AM
 
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I turned DS just before 18 months at 31 lbs. He had a really hard time up until about a year but then it seemed to get better - still not great but a big improvement. So then I kept him rf until he hit 31 lbs, our seat has a 33 lb limit so I figured clothes+diaper+shoes= close to 33 lbs total.
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#14 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 01:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
Just to be clear, the reason I might have done the same thing, is that I was a distracted driver for an entire year after DS was born. I had to drive one handed most of the time, because he needed my finger in his mouth or caressing his face. I even got in a fender bender when he was 6 weeks old - my fault, because I was responding to hlis cries and didn't stop completely enough at a red light and rearended the car in front of me. It really wasn't safe, especially since he was also a non-sleeping baby and I was driving sleep deprived. I don't know if it was safer for him to forward face with a lower chance of me actually having an accident, or rear face with a higher chance of and accident. And facing him forward really did help his car disposition exponentially - and when he did get upset, I was able to tend to him more easily from the front seat, since I didn't have to contort my body to reach him while somehow still keeping my eyes on the road.
Thank you for posting this b/c this is my exact situation...over the past three weeks, my son has turned me into a one-handed driver...his BLVD in is the middle spot of our Forrester and it is a huge carseat so it is very difficult for me to actually get my hand over the top of it to even reach his cheek or hold his hand...add to it that I am 5+ months PG and my growing belly is limiting my ability to do this even more. I'm at a crossroads. I swore I wouldn't turn him FF until at least 2...I know the stats...I lost my mother to car accident when I was 10, so my fear of accidents is real...but I'm wondering which is the greater danger...him being FF or the way I have to drive while he is RF. I drive with him daily 40 minutes to/from work each way. It is a windy mountainous road and now it is winter here in NY.

I'm very interested in what moms with diffucult passengers chose to do when toys, mirrors, songs, food, and all else failed.

This has only been a problem for the past 3+ weeks since he became mobile himself...he just doesn't want to be confined. Before then he was content and usually slept in the car...it actually used to be something I did to get quiet time. Now it is a living hell and I drive in fear and full of anxiety everyday.

Two months ago before I returned to work I was very confident, smugly so, that my child would be RF until he could drive himself. Now I am desperate for a solution.

I am not talking about a child who is just a bit fussy in the car...it is a ride from hell.

Thanks to the moms of diffucult passengers for responding. I apologize for ever judging you in the past!

Mama to Jack (12/7/06) & Liam (4/3/08) & Iris Hope (10/6/10)
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#15 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 01:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BlueIrises View Post
As stated I'm looking for responses from moms who have children who do not do well in the car...and I don't mean just a bit fussy.
It's a safety issue as far as I'm concerned. I would no more turn them around at 12 months than 9. Just like I would not consider letting them ride without a 5pt harness while there's still one that fits or without a booster if they need one.

I would try different carseats and distractions, but no matter how unhappy I don't think I'd turn under 2 unless I had to due to limits.

-Angela
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#16 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 01:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BlueIrises View Post
This has only been a problem for the past 3+ weeks since he became mobile himself...he just doesn't want to be confined. Before then he was content and usually slept in the car...it actually used to be something I did to get quiet time. Now it is a living hell and I drive in fear and full of anxiety everyday.
If it is that new of a problem I would definitely wait longer. So many things change so quickly at that age.



Good luck!

-Angela
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#17 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 01:50 AM
 
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I didn't see the previous post (I don't think), but I voted "over 2 years" b/c dd is 2.5 and we are nowhere near turning the Marathon FF. She is petite and only weighs 24 lbs. She will probably still be RF at 3 yo!

Oh dear, just read on past.

It's hard when a babe hates the carseat. I have thoughts but have to go, back in a while.

Edit (just came back):

I don't know how old your baby is, but things that have helped in the past - I was just talking to someone today about how much Nora used to hate being in the carseat. FWIW, I'm not sure FF would help, if you are considering that. (But if your child is 1 year + 20 lbs. and NOTHING else works, you could try it - you obviously know it's not as safe all things being equal, but I know that a non-screaming child could possibly make the car ride safer overall than a screaming child).

--baby is probably too old for this, but REALLY loud white noise (static) on the radio

--a big bucket of interesting toys and books in the front seat which you toss back as needed. We used to have, like, 20 toys at a time ready to go. We'd use 'em all, too, sometimes in a 20 minute drive!

--let baby hold something normally forbidden, like the cell phone (turn off first?)

--obviously only when possible, one parent drives & one parent sits in the back.

--singing really really loud / CDs. try all different kinds of music. try talk radio. try NPR. something might catch his attention.

--mirror with blinky lights and music that you control by remote control, made by Fisher Price. If you want I can find a link to it. I think they sell it on Amazon.

Best of luck.

Another edit: if this is a "new" problem, it will most likely be relatively short-lived. I hope so!
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#18 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 01:56 AM
 
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liam was 18 months. Quinn is 19 months now, still rf, no plans to ff him anytime soon. He used to really hate the carseat too, but he's fine with it now.

mostly WAHM, sometimes WOHM to my : two boys.
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#19 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 01:57 AM
 
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(Ducking the crunchy tomatoes) . . .but is there any way to install a car DVD player so that it can be seen by a rearfacing child? And would something like that help your son? I think it would have helped mine if we had had something like that. I don't think TV is great for a one year old, but I think it's better than forward facing early or screaming so much that you are in danger of an accident. I know nothign about the technology, so I don't know if it's even possible to set one up that way, or how cost prohibitive it might be. Just brainstorming for you.
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#20 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:02 AM
 
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My daughter is only 11 months but she to HATES her seat! REALLY HATES IT! Screams like crazy in it, always has. We've tried diff seats and it doesnt matter. We still plan to keep her rf for a good while. I have found having a small bag of distractions works wonders. I will hold something infront of her and she focuses on taking that instead of fighting getting buckled in. I also let her have a snack trap cup with food in it, sippy cup of watered down juice (these two things are only for when in the car, a special treat...) all that together helps. She still fights it like crazy and honestly some days I just stay home to avoid the issues
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#21 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:05 AM
 
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My daughter is a VERY inconsolable screamer in her carseat... it's almost like someone is pulling her legs off and burning her with a torch back there. It brings me to tears every time she gets like that, and makes it VERY dangerous for me to drive because I am so distracted.... I am pretty sure I am going to forward face her when she's 1 years old if her attitude in the car doesn't change by then.... :

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#22 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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my first dd i turned FF at about 12months old, : at the time i thought it was the right thing to do cuz we were riding down the road one day and she started to choke and i couldn't see her i could only hear her, scared me to death so i turned her that evening. Second dd was turned FF at 15months cuz she screamed her head off when she was RF and i felt bad for her so i turned her. At the time i really thought "everyone" did that. My best friend turned her ds at 10months and at the time i didn't bat an eye
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#23 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by kibba View Post
My daughter is only 11 months but she to HATES her seat! REALLY HATES IT! Screams like crazy in it, always has. We've tried diff seats and it doesnt matter. We still plan to keep her rf for a good while. I have found having a small bag of distractions works wonders. I will hold something infront of her and she focuses on taking that instead of fighting getting buckled in. I also let her have a snack trap cup with food in it, sippy cup of watered down juice (these two things are only for when in the car, a special treat...) all that together helps. She still fights it like crazy and honestly some days I just stay home to avoid the issues
I've tried the all the typical distractions. I can get him in the seat fine. He is fine for the first 5 minutes max. Then he realizes he is stuck and he wants to walk around and all hell breaks loose. He screams and cries and I am so against CIO in addition to just not having the tolerance for his cries...it is like nails on a chalkboard to me...it tenses me up and gets me very anxious...I find myself visually distracted almost blinded when he cries. That is why I am so concerned about the problem...my attention is not on the road. Add to that, that my arm is stretched over the seat to hold his hand and stroke his face, I'm driving with one hand on the wheel.

Staying home is not an option. I have to work. I've been on maternity leave for 10 months and will back on maternity leave again for our surprise April baby. So I need to work for these 4 months.

As for the DVD player...my DH brought it up. I cringe at the thought but I do understand that a DVD is better than FF. However, I had swore he would never watch TV either but I have yet to figure out how to get ready for work in the morning w/o out a quick 20-30 minute video...which is discussed in my original post...

I'm just afraid of what to do come snow fall. I can't drive on a curvy snowy road with one hand and a distracted mindset.

Mama to Jack (12/7/06) & Liam (4/3/08) & Iris Hope (10/6/10)
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#24 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:16 AM
 
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I had a DD who would NOT sit happily in a RF car seat for even one single minute. When she was about 16mo, we turned her to FF, and it was possible to have her sitting occasionally for short periods without her screaming hysterically.

it was a nightmare, and I avoided the car like mad - to the point where I would sometimes walk up to 10 miles around town in a day with her. but sometimes... well, everytime we wanted to visit our family, which was every week or 2, (20 mi away) we had to get in the car. I basically couldnt drive. I had to sit in the back with DD and twist my back to chinese contortionist proportions to keep my boob in her mouth while staying in my seat belt and keeping her in hers, FF.

this was a HUGE improvement over the RF, but still nightmarish. Many times we would just stop the car and try to calm her, sometimes this would take up to an hour. I lived in terror. I guess some mothers on here can relate.

eclipse, (sorry, I'm all fresh out of tomatoes, can I throw flowers?) I think that's a great idea... I wonder if you could strap a dvd player onto one of those plastic bars you can get to stick on the car seat or stroller that have hangy toys on them. I dont know what that thing's called. wait... I'll google it... um, cant find one, I hope you know what I mean. actually, why not just duct tape it to the celing, or the head rest of the seat? My DD's DVD player has a special strap thing that attaches it to the back of the seat headrest in front, so why not attach it to the back seat headrest?

honestly, in cars, anything that gets the kids sitting happily in their seatbelts is a good thing

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#25 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:19 AM
 
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With DS1 he was 20 lbs so about 1.5 years. Now that I know better DS2 is still RF at 2.5 and will be until 35 lbs (he'll probably be 4 before that happens)

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#26 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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:b lush

My son would cry so hard in the car seat he would throw up, sometimes stop breathing. I couldn't stand it so I turned him FF at 8 months. He is now 13 months.



My husband loves that he is FF and I don't know the statistics but I don't think he'd care (husband). I just couldn't take the uncontrollable tantrums at 8 months old!!!.

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#27 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueIrises View Post
I would love to hear from moms of babies who hated the carseat.
<waving> Hello! My daughter screamed her head off in the carseat almost from day one...I actually think it was around three weeks when she started the car-crying. She also was not born a car-sleeper; I can honestly say that past 6 weeks old or so she never once fell asleep in the car for her entire first year+ of life. So I feel your pain.

Fast forward to now: she finally came around to taking a sort of Zen approach to the car seat and some days almost seems to like it. The magical age for her was about 14 or 15 months, when she could ride for 20 to 30 minutes without losing it. She takes her special blanket in the car with her and has access to her binky which started helping around that age.

To answer your poll, she's 26 months and still rear-facing. She's getting up towards the top weight on her Marathon but I'm hoping she lasts through the icy season. I did not turn her at a year, despite the fact that she was still protesting strongly; you really can't be at all sure that FF will help the crying and the increased risk isn't worth it IMO.
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#28 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:26 AM
 
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I turned dd at 13 months because my MIL and SIL kept questioning me about when I was going to do it. That's a very dumb reason, but I also figured she was ready.

Ds just turned 1 y.o. and I'll keep him rf until he's at the weight limit (30 lbs) or till his head is within 1 inch of the top of the seat. I'm pretty sure he'll outgrow the height before the weight, though.

Ds also is not crazy about riding in the car, but it's not nearly as bad as some of you describe. Holding the remote for the car doors really keeps him happy for a long time. I only give it to him when he's fussy in the car, so it's "special."
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#29 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:28 AM
 
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just another notch on the side of going car-free.
while necessary for safety, carseats just arent really attachment parenting.
sigh.
I'm so glad my DD finally accepted her car seat, and now in her booster she freaks out hysterically if she's not in her seatbelt

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#30 of 89 Old 11-28-2007, 02:30 AM
 
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I've just read the other responses...

I have used a DVD player a few times on longer trips with my DD rear-facing. I have a strappy-type case that secures to the headrests, but I found that I couldn't use it as is on the backseat headrests because DD could reach out and touch it (which for her was a problem, YMMV if your todler follows directions better or isn't a grab-er by nature.)

What I did to be sure that it was both out of reach and secure in case of an accident was use short bungee cords with locking carabiner clips to suspend the DVD player's case between the LATCH tether anchors (which you can be sure won't come loose) in the rear window. It worked really well. One minor safety hazard is that the driver can see the movie in the rear-view, so you have to be sure you're not watching the movie instead of the road. I would bet it's more managable and less distracting that the screaming baby, at least.
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