Toddler on a motorcycle strapped to daddy? - Mothering Forums

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Old 08-15-2008, 11:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My DH is insane. We have three vehicles, my car, his bike, and a run down work van with unreliable - at best - brakes. DH wants to go to town (about 5 miles away) on Wednesday for an event, but I'll have the car all day and he's watching DD.

So he was looking up laws about having toddlers on bikes... and helmets, etc.
What he wants to do is use my mei tai either on chest or back, wrap kidlet up in long sleeves/pants and with a DOT approved helmet, and take DD on the bike with him into town. He promised he'd never go over 30mph and take back roads.

He's very responsible on his bike, and he's never had an accident and he's been riding for about 7 years now. The roads out here are very slow and rarely traveled, since we're in the middle of nowhere. Ohio doesn't have any laws against this, there's no age limit, etc.

I'm of two minds. On one hand, I feel it is safer than the van with no brakes. Especially with her all wrapped up. But on the other hand, my mommy-brain is going "WHAT!??!?"

Thoughts? Considering the distance, options, and background, would you allow your 13-month-old to go with daddy? Why or why not?
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:17 AM
 
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I wouldn't to the motorcycle or the van with bad brakes. Because both are unsafe for your child imo. I'd get the brakes fixed if at all possible but if not then I think dad shouldn't go.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:19 AM
 
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over my dead body
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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No way.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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From my cold dead hands!! I would never feel comfortable with that but that's just me.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:23 AM
 
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Does he think he'd be able to do something if the mei tai started getting loose?

I'm just as torn as you are..trying to find a way to make up my mind.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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Wow... I can't believe he would even consider that... Either way, I'm fairly sure it's probably ILLEGAL. And if not, well it bloody should be. Think dh would just have to miss his 'event' Or call a cab & keep the carseat at home.

ETA: ok I see he has even researched this.. and that is is unbelieveably NOT against the law. The world truly has gone to hell in a handbasket.

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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How about a nice 5 mile walk? Or perhaps a pedal bike ride? Or, have a friend pick everybody up. Or maybe you can drop them at the event? Or, get a babysitter.

Otherwise, ABSOLUTELY NOT. It is NOT safe. And there are a million reasons it is not safe.

Daddy's fun time should never never take priority over a child's safety.

Mom to two intact boys, born at home. DS1 11/07, DS2 9/10
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:25 AM
 
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We see that all the time here in Japan, but the speed limit on most roads is 40kph and most cars are used to seeing motorbikes and avoiding them. I might be okay with it if the child wears a helmet, it is only 5 miles away, on streets that aren't busy. . .not too much traffic (but I'm sure my living in Japan is really influencing my view here).

Barbara:  an always learning SAHM of Ilana (11) and Aiden (8) living in Belgium with my amazing husband.

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Old 08-15-2008, 11:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by maliceinwonderland View Post
Does he think he'd be able to do something if the mei tai started getting loose?

I'm just as torn as you are..trying to find a way to make up my mind.
He said if anything felt loose or slipping, he'd stop immediately and re-tighten. He's also used the mei tai numerous times and is comfortable with how it feels, etc. He knows when it's on right, when it's tight, how it feels when it loosens, etc.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Lit Chick View Post
How about a nice 5 mile walk? Or perhaps a pedal bike ride? Or, have a friend pick everybody up. Or maybe you can drop them at the event? Or, get a babysitter.

Otherwise, ABSOLUTELY NOT. It is NOT safe. And there are a million reasons it is not safe.

Daddy's fun time should never never take priority over a child's safety.
: Brilliant suggestions.

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by riaketty View Post
He said if anything felt loose or slipping, he'd stop immediately and re-tighten. He's also used the mei tai numerous times and is comfortable with how it feels, etc. He knows when it's on right, when it's tight, how it feels when it loosens, etc.
I dunno. I mean, I know how careful my SO is. He wouldn't even suggest something like that unless he was comfortable doing it. And if he was going slow on roads that weren't busy..

And like treemom said, it is normal in other countries.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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If baby's strapped to Daddy and Daddy goes flying, Daddy lands on baby and squishes baby. Bad scene.

There's a reason we drop our babies when we're falling, and it's not to put our hands out to save ourselves. A doctor told me this one after I fell and dropped my 4-month-old dd in the process. I was distraught that my instincts hadn't taken over and had me clutching her tight, even as I fell. That's what I felt should have happened. And he said: If I hadn't been able to separate her from me, 150 pounds of me, plus speed and gravity, would have come down on 16 pounds of her. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Setting up a situation where your dh CAN'T separate your toddler from his body in a fall would be criminally stupid. Taking a kid on a motorcycle -- well, everyone's going to have their own opinion on that. But if that's a choice you make as a family, at least have the child in a separate seat so they have SOME chance of surviving an accident, you know?
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:42 AM
 
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His being a safe driver is not the point. If that made a difference, we wouldn't use carseats, we'd just drive more carefully. He can he as safe as he wants, there risk is with the idiot out there who decides today is a good day to break the back road speed record.

nothing more to say I guess :
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by maliceinwonderland View Post
I dunno. I mean, I know how careful my SO is. He wouldn't even suggest something like that unless he was comfortable doing it. And if he was going slow on roads that weren't busy..

And like treemom said, it is normal in other countries.
In Alaska, it's normal to see babies wrapped up tight against their parents chest on a snow-mobile, which I think is much more dangerous. Ice and show and slickness. But it seems like such a faux pas down south here. I don't... quite get it. What if it's the only way to get around?

And of course if something happened to DD, this is how he would get her to medical care. Ambulances don't run out here. And the hosp. is a good twenty miles.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:43 AM
 
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His being a safe driver is not the point. If that made a difference, we wouldn't use carseats, we'd just drive more carefully. He can he as safe as he wants, there risk is with the idiot out there who decides today is a good day to break the back road speed record.
Yes. This.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:44 AM
 
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No. No. No.

I used to work as a deputy coroner.

No. No . No.

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:46 AM
 
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I cannot imagine an event so important as to require this mode of transportation.
I see what you are saying, OP. But I usually evaluate such situations (and much more minor ones) as: "If something happened to DC because of this, would I be able to forgive myself?"

Besides, it's different when you take your kid to the ER (read:emergency) compared to just going to town for fun. And it is NOT the only way to get around.

I think your DH should use a regular bike, with a proper child seat and child helmet, or not go.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:47 AM
 
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You live only 20miles from a hospital, but ambulances dont run there?? And recreational snowmobiling with a baby attached isn't something I EVER saw during the 3yrs I lived in Alaska honestly. And I saw a lot of snowmobilers. In places in AK where it WOULD be common, it would be because there is no other possible mode of transport which makes it more a subsistence thing. Dad wanting to go to an 'event'.. well really doesn't compare to the snowmobile trip to the only place near your remote community to get food/medicine etc etc.

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:51 AM
 
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No freakin' way.

-Angela
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I cannot imagine an event so important as to require this mode of transportation.
I see what you are saying, OP. But I usually evaluate such situations (and much more minor ones) as: "If something happened to DC because of this, would I be able to forgive myself?"
That's a great way to think about it. And the answer is no... so, we'll figure something else out. Thanks for the input, guys.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:52 AM
 
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Good call mama... There are a lot of other ways for him to get there that wouldn't be so risky!

Pagan  lovin'  WOW playing mum to 5 boys in the wonderful land of Oz ... FOR THE HORDE! hehehe
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:12 PM
 
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No. And my dh is a very experienced motorcycle rider and there's no way in hell I'd let my toddler ride on a road like that. It doesn't matter that he's safe, its all the other people out there. Do you know how many motorcycle/vehicle crashes there are? People don't see motorcycles as well as cars, they just don't. And even with a helmet, there's absolutely no protection.

I would never allow that. Ever.
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:14 PM
 
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Oh my. No.

No, no, no, no. no.

Sorry mama. I'm sure your DH is super safe. But accidents are accidents and can happen to the safest of safe drivers.

In your heart, you know what the safest option is: it's not the flaky break van or a baby strapped to daddy on a motorcycle. My vote is for staying at home.

Nessa, DD1 (5) DD2 (3) & expecting again in late February/early March!
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:17 PM
 
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He said if anything felt loose or slipping, he'd stop immediately and re-tighten. He's also used the mei tai numerous times and is comfortable with how it feels, etc. He knows when it's on right, when it's tight, how it feels when it loosens, etc.
When you are driving you are distracted and that thing could slip in a nano-second. Consider the attitude of the cop the pulls him over when he sees a baby strapped to his chest on a motorcycle.

No.
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:25 PM
 
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Have dh give you a ride to wherever it is going and pick you up later in the day. Or rent a car if the event is that important. I would not be comfortable with a kid on a motorcycle in a mei tai.
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:46 PM
 
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No! No way.

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Old 08-15-2008, 12:50 PM
 
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No way in hell. Motorcycles scare the crap out of me anyway, but with a baby? No no no. No matter how responsible and safe he is, there are elements he has no control over- drunk drivers, animals in the road, etc.

Newly single, chronically sleep deprived mama to my little wild thang wild.gif, born 11/17/12 

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Old 08-15-2008, 12:53 PM
 
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Hell NO! PP posters have pretty much said what I feel.

LP
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Old 08-15-2008, 01:10 PM
 
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When I was a toddler, my dad would take me on his bike strapped to his chest with a bungee cord. I think a mei tai is an improvement on that.

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