Mind if I have a little whine? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so sick. Dizzy, nauseous, and completely exhausted. I can barely concentrate on my work. I want maternity leave NOW, except I probably won't get any. I'm so emotional I just want to cry all the time. I'm really not sad but crying just seems like the right thing to do.

I don't have a single friend, sister, cousin who's ever been pregnant, that I can really connect with on an emotional level. I just want to be able to whine a little and have someone say "yeah totally" -- and the truth is, I'm so happy to be having these awful feelings, even struggling with my work and everything, because hopefully it all leads to a healthy and wonderful baby. It's just so crummy to have people waiting for things on a deadline for work and me working so much more slowly these last 2 weeks that I just feel like I'm sinking. I just have so many areas that need attention and so much less attention to give. I really need to get it together somehow.


Thanks for listening

Oh and this may not get seen b/c it's down here, but, have you all decided when you'll tell your job that your pg? I'm not sure when I should tell -- no one will notice my belly for a while b/c I work virtually 99% of the time.

XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! whale.gif :C.H.S & M.

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#2 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 01:17 PM
 
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It does suck to feel so crummy and not be able to just crawl into a hole and hide. Right now Ds is being a fussy butt. I don't know what he wants but I know he is driving me crazy. And he doesn't understand that mommy can't chase him down when he pulls things out of the draws in the kitchen over and over again.
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#3 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 02:32 PM
 
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Whine all you want!! We all need to sometimes! I told my job right away... just because I have to miss work for appointments and its a really small company...

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#4 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 05:11 PM
 
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I got pg with ds1 when I was still in grad school, had full time classes to attend and an internship quota to meet. I couldn't do it all so I delayed my internship, and continued in school. I was deathly sick with m/s for the first 5 1/2 months. I couldn't even read (much less be on the computer to write papers etc) without getting the worst motion sickness.

I do know how you feel in a sense. You really do have a shift of attention when you are pregnant. Try not to be too hard on yourself. As far as telling work, from other people's experience, it's usually best to nonchalantly find out about the maternity leave fine print and wait as long as possible before announcing. I mean, it varies from company to company but a bad reaction to you in this state will only complicate things.

As far as getting it all together... it's different for everyone but I still feel that way for at least 9 months to a year AFTER my babies are born. It's hormonal, it's stress, it's life. Do what you need to do to get yourself in a mental/emotional place of stability (not saying you're not but pg tends to really rock that boat for me ) and then just roll with it. With each passing year I realize more and more that "life is always going to throw you curve balls" and "the grass is always greener on the other side" are more than just cliches. It's life and I've got to do the best I can with what I've got.

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Originally Posted by xekomaya View Post
Oh and this may not get seen b/c it's down here, but, have you all decided when you'll tell your job that your pg? I'm not sure when I should tell -- no one will notice my belly for a while b/c I work virtually 99% of the time.
did you mean you work at home virtually 99% of the time?
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#5 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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I got pg with ds1 when I was still in grad school, had full time classes to attend and an internship quota to meet. I couldn't do it all so I delayed my internship, and continued in school.
Heh, that sounds really similar to my last pregnancy... it was my second year of grad school, I had an internship (which I cut WAY back, but they were desperate to keep me at least one day every other week), I was a reader for the first-year econ class during the first trimester (I mean the Fall Quarter), plus a full class schedule. I ended up with FIVE incompletes at the end of the year, plus a rewrite due on my capstone project. The first quarter (when there was also a bus strike, and we only had one car) I didn't actually complete any units; I dropped two classes and took an incomplete in the third (then did 4 classes each of the next two quarters).

It took me a year to get all my work completed and turned in, and then another year to chase down all my professors and get my grades recorded ;-) but I did finally get my Master's. Not that I'm planning on becoming a full-time transportation planner anytime soon ;-).

I also did end up suicidally depressed by the end of that quarter. :-/ That seems to be going a LOT better this time around; last time, I had to go back on antidepressants, but this time I'm fine. Tired, but fine. Of course, my diet's very different this time too; no gluten, dairy, soy, or canola in it ;-) so that might be contributing.

For the OP... it's really hard, I know. ;-) During that first trimester hell last time, the other reader for that econ class ended up picking up a lot of the slack for me, and I knew she kinda resented it (though she was quite good-natured about it). Then a few months later, SHE got pregnant... and she comes to me one day, and says, "You know, I owe you an apology." She had been talking about this woman she worked with before grad school who had gotten pregnant and was just plugging along like nothing... so when she finally experienced it for herself, she called up this old friend and asked, "HOW did you DO it?" Her friend said, "You know how I'd have my door closed and put up the sign that said I was "in a meeting"? I was taking a nap." ;-)

This is the part of pregnancy no one tells you about. It sucks, but you'll get through eventually.
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#6 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 08:19 PM
 
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I also did end up suicidally depressed by the end of that quarter. :-/ That seems to be going a LOT better this time around;
yeah... I know the feeling
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#7 of 10 Old 08-27-2007, 11:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the encouragement.

MissAnnThrope -- I don't know how you manage to chase another LO around. I've been thinking about that for the last 2 days. Luckily, I don't have to decide on a second until I've hopefully forgotten how this truly is, but if I did, this would be my only.

Chely - Thanks! I'm usually such a believer in positive speech/thinking, but man it really does feel good

willemsmamma -- I mean that my job is virtual. My company is made of 10 people all over the world. I can work from anywhere with just my laptop and a phone. (although sometimes I feel like I work 99% of the time!!)

Ironica -- Ya know, if someone did tell me about this I wouldn't have believed it. I could easily handle the emotional or the sick, but the combo packs a punch!

I feel way better tonight. I'm almost hesitant to go to bed tonight and start all over in the morning, but I'll just read this thread again and be encouraged I suppose. Gotta remember it's all for a good cause

XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! whale.gif :C.H.S & M.

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#8 of 10 Old 08-28-2007, 12:17 AM
 
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First trimester is miserable. I'm having similar stuff myself, as well as major pelvic/lower back pain.

Whine away, sister, most of us are whining with you.
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#9 of 10 Old 08-28-2007, 12:19 AM
 
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Heck, I did it again even though I have very distinct memories of just how awful it was the first time around ;-). But OTOH, I had a ton of external stressors that aren't an issue now. I was worried about getting enough sleep (last time I was getting 12-14 hours a day and STILL a zombie) but I haven't been quite the same sleepiness this time. Maybe I'm just used to it because of the last 3 years of relative sleeplessness of parenthood! ;-)
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#10 of 10 Old 08-28-2007, 12:34 AM
 
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Today I upped my protein big time... I ate red meat!!! I also had cheese with my read meat... and a cup of broccoli cheese soup. I also ate peanuts and took some Dramamine and got some Sea Bands... I feel some what better. I've ate more today than I have for over a week. I'm not sure what is working the best but the combo seems to be doing the trick as long as I'm sitting down and not pushing myself.

I hope you find relief soon.
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