- I had a dream last night in which I was telling somebody that I was sich of standing up for everybody else and having nobody ever stand up for me. When I woke up I realized that it's COMPLETELY how I feel! I'll speak up when I hear people talking smack about my loved ones, but I feel like I'm surrounded by people who will listen, not say anything and then either tell me or NOT tell me. It's sad. I need to know that somebody would raise hell for me (yes, this is completely melodramatic)
- When I found out that I was pregnant, a friend offered me all of her maternity clothes. We've talked a couple times about me picking them up, but nothing had worked out. Today I found out that she had offered them up to a group that we're both part of for anybody who needs them. When I let her know "Uh, yes, I still want them" she responded that her husband had already brought them to Goodwill. :
- I'm out and about today and stopped at Target for a couple things (I'm not a fan, but I needed to find some one stop shopping). As we're getting out of the car Amelia tried to dart past me into the parking lot. I use my lighting-fast mama reflexes to grab her before she runs. I give her the quick "That is NOT okay" talk and then look up to see a car drive past. The woman glares at me and shakes her head. I was so ticked off about that and trying to walking briskly across the parking lot that by the time I got to the store I was out of breath. I stopped and tried to ctach my breath but I just couldn't. Finally I realized that I was about to pass out. I grabbed the nearest shelf and lowered myself to the floor. Meanwhile my not-even-3-year-old is asking me what's wrong and if I'm okay. I look up (completely panicking) and watch several people walk past me...some customers, some employees....not one person asked if I was okay. I quickly grabbed the things I needed and paid. Then I spent 30 minutes in the parking lot sobbing in my car.
-These three things (along with my general feeling fat and gross and lonely) led me to cry uncontrollably on and off until I left for work 3 hours later.
I feel like I've done a good job recently keeping my emotions in check. But today was a complete slap in the face. I just kept thinking that I CAN'T handle this anymore.
I hope tomorrow is better.
---Jessica---Livin' my life from A (1/05 ) to Z (4/08 ).....and z (3/11)
I had a sucky day too. Yelled at my kids and then cried in front of them. It's the stress of the holidays, probably the worst I've ever felt it, and I feel all the stress around me (like those jerks you encountered at the store) affecting me too.
I am so ready for Christmas to be over. It feels both crappy and good to say that.
Hang in there. We can sympathize.
Christine, mom to C(7.5) - E(5) - J(3) - B(10 mos)
Doula, childbirth educator, Co-leader of ICAN of Atlanta
"Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it." ~Anonymous
Take it easy, no letting some judgmental woman (or any other mean people in the coming months) make you so upset that you almost pass out!