TMI Time, Ladies! - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-30-2008, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A few months ago, one of the other DDCs had a thread up entitled "TMI." It became this epic long thread for everyone to confess all the lovely sorts of indignities and embarrassments they were sufferring as they neared the end of pregnancy. I followed it avidly- and almost peed my pants on several occassions as I collapsed in laughter. It was a nice way to make life more bearable for all of them, I'm sure. I think we need something similar here, don't you? I'll go first.


I'm sitting on a hemroid the size of Mt. Everest. I'm not sure why my feet can even touch the floor!
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Old 01-30-2008, 09:39 PM
 
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K i just posted this in another thread, but I "gave birth" to a squid fetoid without legs last night. MW says its some strange sort of mucous and she's seen it before so its no big deal, but it was seriously interesting enough to freeze "just in case".

There is no such thing as TMI in this house, so I was chasing DH around with it last night. Nothing in this thread will phase me I guarantee it.
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Old 01-30-2008, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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: you FROZE it?

: : THAT is hysterical! ROTFLMAO! What are ya gonna do wth it-save it for scrapbooking?!? You GO girl!

There is very little that mortifies me either - 'roids are about the only thing I can think of!
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Old 01-30-2008, 09:54 PM
 
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I dont know what I was thinking. Obviously MW doesnt want to see it, but I figured there was no harm in it. I was GOING to just take a picture with my fancy schmancy camera on macro, but it wasn't charged and still full of baby shower pictures so I just froze it. Maybe I really AM saving it for scrapbooking. I guess we'll see.
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Old 01-30-2008, 10:01 PM
 
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I have globbs of hard stiff colostrum on my nipples .... So that's why DS has been staying away from those .....................

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Old 01-30-2008, 10:10 PM
 
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I only poop once every other day no matter how many fruits, veggies and liquids I consume. And when I finally go, I'm scared to flush and always thankful that we chose the "well engineered flusher" when we got new fixtures in the bathroom. And in the interim, I have the worst gas; I go out in the garage and just stand around and peek in the dryer and look in boxes and stuff to help it along. I can't believe my dh wants anything to do with me. He also had to blow a burp out of his face that escaped last night...

Mom to DD ('06) and DS ('08)
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Old 01-30-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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I thought someone told me I was suppose to have an increased sex drive well WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED I'M NEVER HORNY ANYMORE .................... rant over .

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Old 01-30-2008, 10:39 PM
 
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I only poop once every four days, three if I'm lucky... what I eat (fruits, veggies, etc) and how much water I drink appears to have no bearing. It's a laborious, slightly uncomfortable process... I consider it a warm-up for giving birth.

I often have to change my underwear at lunch because of the "creamy CM."

Today, I farted, and didn't own up to it when a first-grader yelled, "AH, WHO FARTED?!?!?!"

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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Old 01-30-2008, 10:45 PM
 
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Ow the darn discharge has gotten way out of hand .....................

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Old 01-30-2008, 11:04 PM
 
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OK I'll trade you constipated ladies your situation for pooping one tiny lone turd every single time I pee.

And I pee a lot.

...I bleed because of how much I freakin' wipe.
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Old 01-31-2008, 12:12 AM
 
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Leaky boobs, heartburn, huge ankles...it's a magical time.
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Old 01-31-2008, 12:31 AM
 
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I thought someone told me I was suppose to have an increased sex drive well WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED I'M NEVER HORNY ANYMORE .................... rant over .
:
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Old 01-31-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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uhm. Sex drive is not my problem.. seriously.. how do you fit my gigantic belly anywhere near DH?
Any time I think we're comfortable face to face, I realize is squishing DH enough that he can't breathe, but he never wants to tell me. Anything ....the other way is painful and just makes me have to pee.

And, I guess this is the TMI thread.... am I the only one that feels like my vagina is getting smaller? Its kinda the only thing on my body that I DONT want to be smaller and.. it seems to be the only thing shrinking.

XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! whale.gif :C.H.S & M.

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Old 01-31-2008, 04:28 AM
 
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I wasn't able to find maternity underwear that fit in my size, and my regular, non-maternity underwear is too tight on my stomach now, so I'm going commando. Which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the discharge. I sometimes go through two pairs of pants a day.
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Old 01-31-2008, 08:05 AM
 
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My lactose intolerance has gone insane and even without dairy I mysteriously get the runs every single night between 8 and 10 pm. Without fail. Its amazing. And I'm in the same boat of wiping so much that things are starting to bleed.

And I think I'm starting to dribble a bit, damn it. After I'm all finished, clothes up, ready to go I think a little something is coming to the party that's not invited. *sigh* I wondered when having the first one be over 10 lbs was going to factor in. The ole pelvic floor ain't what she used to be....
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Old 01-31-2008, 08:49 AM
 
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OK I'll trade you constipated ladies your situation for pooping one tiny lone turd every single time I pee.
Oh, no Anna, you don't want to trade with me! Yesterday was worse than giving birth. Honestly. Definite large square peg through a small round hole problem. I honestly don't think it was coming out of me without intervention. And boy did it HURT. Since this is the TMI thread . . . I had to REACH IN and pinch off small parts of turd repeatedly to get to the point where the rest could come out. Plenty of anal bleeding, and afterward my entire pelvic floor felt weird. Saggy. Thank goodness that went away over the course of the next few hours.

It was such a trauma I wanted to share it with someone, so my poor DH had to listen to the details. (He heard me grunting and moaning in the bathroom and honestly was worried about me anyway . . . he was worried all day, actually, since I moaned lightly every time I had to sit down.) Thanks, AlpacaWacka, for giving me a place to share it again, though I hope none of you can 100% relate!
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Old 01-31-2008, 10:15 AM
 
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: :
These faces are not due to shock, but just so sad some of you are going thru this stuff Ug
I have seen just about everything as a nurse...no shame here. But i really am thankful i don't have too much to share, yet. But heck, i've HELPED ol' ladies get their turds out by massaging their butt and helping work it down so yeah, no worries on TMI here.

Seriously not trying to rub it in but i've had a very easy pregnancy (NOT SO with DS, its my turn for ease for once!) and I don't think at this point i can top you all. Maybe could have 2 years ago tho...

I was looking at my hairline down under today...i shave the, what do you call it, woo woo part, have since 16...and i have seriously messed it up, first time i've looked in months, thought i was doing fine not being able to see. Not so. It looks ridiculous. All crooked and stuff.
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Old 01-31-2008, 10:27 AM
 
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I was looking at my hairline down under today...i shave the, what do you call it, woo woo part, have since 16...and i have seriously messed it up, first time i've looked in months, thought i was doing fine not being able to see. Not so. It looks ridiculous. All crooked and stuff.

I shaved the girly bits over the weekend sitting over a sheet in front of a full length mirror. I've been entirely too sweaty lately to be that furry!

My TMI - hemorroids, colostrum crusty nipples, gas so bad that I can't blame the dog, constipation, and the fun of rabbit turds that provide ZERO relief.

On the plus side, my little girl's movements are becoming stronger and more identifiable by body part - last night I had a knot on one side of my uterus that had to be her little butt!
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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Oh add me to the poo issues group... I used to be an every day at the same time kind of girl, but now it's only every other day, and with all the extra food I'm consuming, I'm scared to flush the toilet! I always have to make sure the plunger is nearby. And I've been equating actually going with labor practice, too. Ugh. Doesn't help that there's always bleeding due to my stupid hemmorhoids.

TMI from the first trimester, I had a hemmorhoid so bad I could barely sit or stand or walk or do anything. It even hurt to lay in bed. Stupid me didn't go to the doctor, and we moved from Michigan to North Carolina with me in terrible pain. Luckily SIL drove so I didn't have to, but the day we got down here it ruptured which ended up with me in the ER. Welcome to North Carolina... at least I found out where the hospital was... Not fun AT ALL!!!

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Old 01-31-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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Although I go poo regularly ummmm, it never comes all the way out, it's like it cuts off midway in the center of the darn turd and then I don't get a clean wipe and that results in a itchy a@$ all f'n day ::::

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Old 01-31-2008, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Splath-I'm going on day three of the Mt. Everest 'roid. Last night it started bleeding and the Prep H is doing NOTHING. So are you saying I should probably talk to someone? I can't imagine having it rupture! owwwwwiiiiiiieeeeeee!
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Old 01-31-2008, 12:40 PM
 
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Splath-I'm going on day three of the Mt. Everest 'roid. Last night it started bleeding and the Prep H is doing NOTHING. So are you saying I should probably talk to someone? I can't imagine having it rupture! owwwwwiiiiiiieeeeeee!
Does it hurt all the time or only when you're going to the bathroom? If it hurts all the time, I would see a doctor. They probably won't do much though since you're pregnant. Mine ended up inflamed and I could feel the vein all the way across my butt before it ended up rupturing. I found the witch hazel worked to relieve some of the discomfort more than the prep H did (and it's way less goopy and gross).

Mama to Eleanore Rae, born April 6, 2008 & Adelaide Jane, born December 16, 2010, Cautiously expecting #3 September 10, 2013

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Old 01-31-2008, 12:49 PM
 
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Add me to the no-pooping list.

Last year (before I was pregnant), I dealt with 10 months of constipation and what I finally learned was a fissure (Yes, I ripped my butt). This suddenly all went away when I was a couple months pregnant. I didn't ask why....I just cheered. So, last week, out of the blue, my digestion slowed WAY down. No pain or bleeding yet....but I'm waiting.....

Also, I usually epilate (instead of shaving). About a month ago I went to do my bikini line and realized that my belly was in the way.....so I only did one side. And it's been like that ever since.

---Jessica---Livin' my life from A Peace.gif(1/05 ) to Z  jammin.gif(4/08 ).....and z babyf.gif(3/11)

 

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Old 01-31-2008, 01:14 PM
 
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Okay, I've got a new one to add to the list here: vulvar varicosities. All of the veins on the left side of my labia bulge way out when I'm standing -- looks like a fuzzy squirrel face with a few nuts jammed in one cheek. Veeeeeeeery sexy.

Some days it really aches, others not so much. Must have to do with the position of the baby.

Yeah, I could add to the poopin' woes list, but I think you've all sketched that issue out perfectly.
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Okay, I've got a new one to add to the list here: vulvar varicosities. All of the veins on the left side of my labia bulge way out when I'm standing -- looks like a fuzzy squirrel face with a few nuts jammed in one cheek. Veeeeeeeery sexy.

Some days it really aches, others not so much. Must have to do with the position of the baby.

Yeah, I could add to the poopin' woes list, but I think you've all sketched that issue out perfectly.
laughup: I promise, I am laughing cause your description was hilarious, not at your plight!!!

Yeah, I've got the poop woes down. I'm never a regular kinda gal anyway, so now it's like "ha!!! try to go potty NOW!"

And the pelvic floor/peeing issues-that area has a mind of its own, I tell you-I mean, if I'm alone I can have a sneezing fit from hell and nary a drop will pass but let me be in public and laugh a little or do a tiny cough and all of a sudden the flood gates open. Yes, I kegel like crazy-it's just weird!

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Old 01-31-2008, 02:33 PM
 
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Leaky boobs, heartburn, huge ankles...it's a magical time.
this had me ROTFLMAO!!!!!

re: hemorrhoids, yes witch hazel helps a *lot*. you definitely want to try to clear them up before you have the baby. i had what seemed like a whole-butt hemorrhoid after each baby was born. The m/w i had with DD even commented on it. something to the effect of "wow, that's some hemorrhoid ya got there!" yeah, thanks. i'm thinking of calling Guinness.

my biggest complaint this past week is that my hips are *killing me*! it's difficult to even roll over in bed and move my gigantic mound of pillows without causing tears to well up in my eyes. sitting for more than 5 minutes at a time (anywhere but on my birth ball) is excruciating and i have a hard time taking the first handful of steps when i get up. it's definitely worse on days when i don't teach, especially if i don't get some yoga in for myself (which i often don't). i'd love to go to the chiropractor, but it's going to have to wait at least a month - definitely not in the budget until after DH starts his new job and gets his first paycheck.

yeah, definitely a magical time
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:34 PM
 
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Leaky boobs, heartburn, huge ankles...it's a magical time.
this had me ROTFLMAO!!!!!

re: hemorrhoids, yes witch hazel helps a *lot*. you definitely want to try to clear them up before you have the baby. i had what seemed like a whole-butt hemorrhoid after each baby was born. The m/w i had with DD even commented on it. something to the effect of "wow, that's some hemorrhoid ya got there!" yeah, thanks. i'm thinking of calling Guinness.

my biggest complaint this past week is that my hips are *killing me*! it's difficult to even roll over in bed and move my gigantic mound of pillows without causing tears to well up in my eyes. sitting for more than 5 minutes at a time (anywhere but on my birth ball) is excruciating and i have a hard time taking the first handful of steps when i get up. it's definitely worse on days when i don't teach, especially if i don't get some yoga in for myself (which i often don't). i'd love to go to the chiropractor, but it's going to have to wait at least a month - definitely not in the budget until after DH starts his new job and gets his first paycheck.

oh and don't even get me started about the discharge...

yeah, definitely a magical time
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Old 01-31-2008, 03:05 PM
 
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All of the veins on the left side of my labia bulge way out when I'm standing -- looks like a fuzzy squirrel face with a few nuts jammed in one cheek. Veeeeeeeery sexy.
Seriously, you are paying my medical bills for the mouthful of chicken sandwich that just got caught in my lung AND you are coming over and taking care of the children I just woke with my hysterical laughter followed by coughing up said lung. That deserves some kind of award.

My TMI is that thanks to my ruined tummy from having 5 children in as many years and the consequential "fold" of skin over my c/s scar, I am dousing myself in Gold Bond every night otherwise I have all kinds of scar grossness. That and the d/c is just revolting.

Mama to nine gorgeous babies, with finale #10 due April'14.
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Old 01-31-2008, 03:10 PM
 
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Oh, no Anna, you don't want to trade with me! Yesterday was worse than giving birth. Honestly. Definite large square peg through a small round hole problem. I honestly don't think it was coming out of me without intervention. And boy did it HURT. Since this is the TMI thread . . . I had to REACH IN and pinch off small parts of turd repeatedly to get to the point where the rest could come out. Plenty of anal bleeding, and afterward my entire pelvic floor felt weird. Saggy.
:
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Old 01-31-2008, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well "Everest" (hey, he needed a name.....and of course it's a he-we ARE talking about a pain in the ass here!) and I are headed off to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription for.....

drumrolll..... "Procto-foam!"

Who comes up with these names?!? Oh yes, and Elleystar will probably fill the script for me and mock me ceaselessly!

Splath, to answer your question- yes it hurts all the time! I couldn't face a full 8 hours sitting in a chair today-so I called in sick. Geeze I hope this works, cause I can't figure out how to politely explain that I'd be missing ANOTHER day of work because my ass hurts!

And Bokoto-I am SO sorry for you! You poor thing! The image that keeps flashing into my head is that of Chip or Dale of Disney fame, grinning from one side of your va-jay-jay!
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