Phone calls driving you crazy???!!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 06:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, please tell me I'm not the only one still pregnant and getting phone calls / emails / faxes / messenger pigeons on an outrageously frequent basis from relatives/friends/coworkers just checking in to ask, "How are you doing?"

Could we send a general announcement to folks that:
1. We pregnant ladies are not all that brain dead and understand that "How are you doing?" is code for "I bet you had the baby/ies and didn't tell me" (Yes, that's right) or "When are you going to have the baby/ies?" (Oh, wait, let me pull out my Magic 8 Ball.)
2. We need quiet time before birthing to center ourselves, not energy going out constantly to respond to people's curiosities.

My mother, in particular, is driving me up the wall with need for daily contact via phone or email. And then, when she doesn't feel she is getting enough 'info', accusations of me being not forthcoming enough or questions of 'am I mad at her' come out. Um, what?! : I finally just wrote her an email explaining (in short here) that I love her and though I understand how hard is must be for her to be across the country, that at this time I don't have the capacity to respond well and fully and frequently to her emotions and that the best way she could support me right now is to allow space for me to be quiet and center myself in preparation for a peaceful birth. There was more thrown in... I think it was a good message and hope that it does the trick.

If I am ever pregnant again, I really think I'll move the EDD back by at least 3 weeks when telling people when to expect the baby. Has anyone ever done this?! Did it work?!!

Anyway... feel free to add your funny story or rant below!!!

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#2 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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Oh yes I get those and the random neighbor who sees me outside when they drive by and slams on the breaks, rolls down the window, and pretty much yells out the window something to the effect of, " Oh my gosh what are you doing still pregnant? Is everything ok? You should be in bed!"
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#3 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 07:18 PM
 
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Oh honey! It doesn't get much better post partum either. I am SO SICK of talking on the phone! Maybe it was just cause our girl scared everyone with her NICU stunt but good GOD! Look at the damn blog and leave us BE!
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#4 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 07:22 PM
 
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Ha, ha! And I am only one day overdue! My poor husband is getting non-stop phone calls from his friends/family and even people he does work for! Obviously, they would know if we had the baby and it isn't necessary to check in every two seconds...
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#5 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 07:39 PM
 
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I made the mistake of chatting with one of my cousins a week ago while I was having 5-1 contractions for several hours.. Well after a while she started thinking I should go to the hospital (having a home birth) and that I was definitely having the baby right THEN - Despite me telling her like 50x that they were not regular enough, not picking up, not too painful, at all and very likely not going anywhere.

Still, she's certain the baby will be coming any minute (I'm only 39 weeks now and this was about a week and a half ago) and she wants to be able to find out when I go into labor even though I've said I won't be telling anyone so the txt's and the IMs are coming 3x a day - I've had to sign out of everything and turn off my phone.

I feel like people are forcing me into hiding even if I didn't want to. I'm sure its good for preparing my birth space but its insanely annoying.

Luckily, my best friend is great about it and planning her wedding so we have something else to talk about and my mother is actually in total denial that the baby is coming like, any day now.. so we can have normal conversations.

XM,: mama to ds (5/08), dd (9/10) and ds (6/12) ! whale.gif :C.H.S & M.

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#6 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 08:25 PM
 
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Yeah, it's starting to get old. I just start conversations with "Still pregnant; not in labor" and people leave me alone. But gosh, it's funny to think that I might potentially have a baby and NOT broadcast the information to the ENTIRE PLANET, or at least my personal monkeysphere.
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#7 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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Yup, if people don't hear from me in a day they assume I've had the baby and haven't told them. My mom actually hasn't been that bad this time around and has left me alone about the baby for the most part.
My husband on the other hand is driving me nuts but unfortunately I have to live with him. Ugh, stop asking me every 5 min if she's going to come out soon because you don't want to go to work tomorrow! Ugh!
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#8 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 09:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Alpaca Wacka View Post
Oh honey! It doesn't get much better post partum either. I am SO SICK of talking on the phone! Maybe it was just cause our girl scared everyone with her NICU stunt but good GOD! Look at the damn blog and leave us BE!
We are blessed to have people who care in our lives, right?
BUT - Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... please no, I can't do this post partum, nor would my phone bill be able to deal And I hear ya on the blog thing... honestly, my mom grumbled something about the blog - like she's mad to get info from IT instead of ME - oh lordy!

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#9 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 09:32 PM
 
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OH, count me in on this one... and I'm not even "due" for another two weeks.

To top it off, my only phone here in Anchorage is a pre-paid cell phone... these "how ya doin..." phone calls cost money!

Me+DH+DS1+DS2+Dog=me and a house full of guys, which is really just peachy, thanks.
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#10 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 11:05 PM
 
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My husband on the other hand is driving me nuts but unfortunately I have to live with him. Ugh, stop asking me every 5 min if she's going to come out soon because you don't want to go to work tomorrow! Ugh!
Haha... yeah, DH says that too... "Go into labor. I don't want to go to to work tomorrow." Yeah, um, lemme just... no, wait, I can't WILL it to happen.
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#11 of 26 Old 04-17-2008, 11:43 PM
 
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Yes it is driving me nuts! I purposely don't reply to emails for a day or two, because I am spunky like that.
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#12 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 02:46 PM
 
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Yes, I went into hiding with this entire pregnancy. I just did NOT want anyone else involved other than me, dh and dd. I told MIL to keep her hands off me when she started in on the belly touching, I told everyone that asked (including parents) that the due date was in May, I didn't talk about my pregnancy with anyone, didn't have a baby shower, nada.

And you know what? This pregnancy was GREAT. So easy, so low stress. I got to connect to my baby on my own, with no interference. I got to share the kicks with my dh, my dd, and a couple of times I let my sister touch my belly and that was it. I didn't see anyone except one check-in with a midwife, so I didn't have essentially strangers touching me or reaching inside me. And no one (including me) could anticipate the baby arriving early so I got no late pregnancy phone calls. Totally awesome.

I would recommend this approach to anyone who likes being left alone. Push the due date back an entire month. Or don't tell anyone! Haha. Maybe next time I'll do that.

Mom to DD ('06) and DS ('08)
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#13 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 03:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I told everyone that asked (including parents) that the due date was in May
You are a wise woman. Right now I'm feeling like

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#14 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 03:25 PM
 
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I wake up every morning to my MIL asking "How do you feel?" (She lives with us).
Every day I answer, "I'm fine, how are you?" I think she's starting to get the point...
I'm sorely tempted to quit answering the phone, and start ignoring all questions about what's going on in my uterus and vagina. I hate, hate, HATE being asked if I've lost my plug yet. "No, why, are you having any excess discharge I should know about?" How come my vagina is everyones' business just because my husband put some semen in it nine months ago?
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#15 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 04:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey Incubator, have you lost your plug yet? :nana:

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#16 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 04:12 PM
 
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Ugh, stop asking me every 5 min if she's going to come out soon because you don't want to go to work tomorrow! Ugh!
My DH kept telling me I needed to have the baby on a weekday. His company gives paternity leave for the day of birth and the day of hospital discharge, and he didn't want to "waste" it on a weekend. Both kids have been Mondays, so he got his way.
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#17 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 04:13 PM
 
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Yeah, my MIL was trying to use my "condition" as yet another reason to worry. I had that one MW visit and afterwards she was hovering - "How did it go? What did the doctor say? Is everything okay?" I mean, she wouldn't stop. I had to get very up front with her and tell her that she was not welcome to use my pregnancy as a source for her worrying and I didn't want to hear one more thing about it. If I was still going to be doing all the housework and shopping and taking care of dd, she was not to be acting like I might break at any moment. That was about halfway through the pregnancy and luckily I didn't have to hear about it again.

Mom to DD ('06) and DS ('08)
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#18 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 04:21 PM
 
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Hey Incubator, have you lost your plug yet? :nana:
No, but when I do, I'll be happy to mail it to ya! :nana:
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#19 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 04:36 PM
 
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i'm in the same boat as you guys. we're staying at my mom's for the birth and she's making me a nervous wreck. and dh asks if i'm "surging" everytime i make the smallest noise. my mom even made me call the midwife last night because my back hurt and she and my in-laws are convinced that i don't know when to call or that i'm not realizing "how in labor" i am. and everyone thinks i need my cervix checked, like that's going to make the baby come any faster. grrr.:

Chelsea, Christian, Wife to Trey, Mommy to Oliver (11/3/2005), Abner (5/01/2008) and Baby #3 ( Due 9/27/2010)
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#20 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, but when I do, I'll be happy to mail it to ya! :nana:
:

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Originally Posted by scifimama View Post
i'm in the same boat as you guys. we're staying at my mom's for the birth and she's making me a nervous wreck. and dh asks if i'm "surging" everytime i make the smallest noise. my mom even made me call the midwife last night because my back hurt and she and my in-laws are convinced that i don't know when to call or that i'm not realizing "how in labor" i am. and everyone thinks i need my cervix checked, like that's going to make the baby come any faster. grrr.:
Oh, sympathy to you... that sounds truly awful/stressful.

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#21 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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As I sit here reading this thread I had one woman from our church call twice. She calls everyday. Last night she called at 7pm and I was busy finishing homework with the kids and the usually nighttime stuff so I didn't answer the phone. Next thing I know the doorbell rings, SHE WAS WORRIED!

She is making me crazy! My own family doesn't call as much as she does. This is an issue when I'm not pregnant also. She calls all the time. She thinks she's my mother since my parents don't live here. I need to find a way to tell her to BACK OFF but now I'm so fed up I think my head would spin around and fire would shoot out of my mouth instead of calm words.

Jennifer- mom to Nicholas (11), Ella (10), Andrew (8) and Anna Sophia (6)
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#22 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 09:14 PM
 
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I'm so fed up I think my head would spin around and fire would shoot out of my mouth instead of calm words.
Well if that doesn't keep her away, nothing will!
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#23 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 09:27 PM
 
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As I sit here reading this thread I had one woman from our church call twice. She calls everyday. Last night she called at 7pm and I was busy finishing homework with the kids and the usually nighttime stuff so I didn't answer the phone. Next thing I know the doorbell rings, SHE WAS WORRIED!.
that's so rude. she really needs some boundaries.

Chelsea, Christian, Wife to Trey, Mommy to Oliver (11/3/2005), Abner (5/01/2008) and Baby #3 ( Due 9/27/2010)
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#24 of 26 Old 04-18-2008, 09:38 PM
 
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that's so rude. she really needs some boundaries.
Yeah... In that situation I'd roll my eyes and just close the door. But then I've lost my rude filter, so...
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#25 of 26 Old 04-19-2008, 12:57 AM
 
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But then I've lost my rude filter, so...
No, you haven't, it's right here: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=883453

See? Catches the rude stuff for you, just like a good filter should! ;-)
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#26 of 26 Old 04-19-2008, 11:25 AM
 
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, yeah, but that's just for one person!!
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