anyone else tandem nursing? - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-10-2008, 11:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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im going crazy though so im hoping to find help from you mamas!!

it started out great but now my older dd wants to nurses ALL.THE.TIME! she hardly eats solid fodds now too b/c she's nursing so much. she screams in the night when i have to nurse the baby and smacksme andthe babyover and over until she gets to nurse. im nursing pretty much 24/7 and going insane! im hoping this transition period ends soonand we can get to that happy tandem place.
anyways enough complaining from me.. how are youladies doing and did you have rough patches too?

Waldorf mama to Autumn DD 9/05 and my Spring DD 4/08 Winter baby due 2/11
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Old 05-11-2008, 02:43 AM
 
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Well, my DS1 is a year and a quarter older than your DD1... and while he's been wanting to nurse more than he did before, he does take no for an answer when it's not practical, and he's still only asking maybe 3 times a day (he was at his lowest ebb only nursing 3-4 times a week). And he doesn't generally wake at night at all; if he ever does, it's just to ask us to pick up his pillow after it fell or something.

So, going fairly well for us. DH isn't liking me nursing DS1 down for naps, because it often means he's left with a cranky baby for half an hour or so... but I'm glad to be able to do it, since as I'm still recovering there's a LOT I can't do for DS1 and he's mostly looking to DH as his primary parent.
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Old 05-11-2008, 02:47 AM
 
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Aww... I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I wish we were tandem nursing, but DS weaned against my will, which is how we got pregnant in the first place.

Sounds to me like your LO #1 is jealous. This may not be the best suggestion, but could you nurse her first and then the baby, and maybe read a "special nursing book" to her while the baby nurses to help her cope and not feel left out? (Wow what a run on!) We've had a few problems with hitting over here too, but curious hitting, not jealous hitting so I don't know what to do there. DS just gets jealous when he wakes up at night needing to be rocked and I'm busy with the baby. He screams making motions for me to put her down or tried to push her off my lap so he can climb into my arms. breaks my heart when he does that.
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Old 05-11-2008, 11:05 AM
 
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I am nursing my 2.5yo DD. She was down to 3x/day (morning, nap, bedtime) but has definitely increased her nursing since the baby has been here. Part of it is that I need her to help out in the mornings to relieve engorgement, since the baby only wakes a couple times and I feed one side at a time, I usually have a REALLY full side by morning.

I was worried about naptime, but so far I have been able to lay the baby near us while I rock/nurse DD1 down and its worked well. (Except when DD1 fights her nap...)

Bedtime, I just hand the baby over to DH and nurse DD and then he takes her up to bed and settles her.

During random parts of the day, DD1 asks to nurse a lot and sometimes I say yes, othertimes I say no. If she just seems bored I try to distract.

Thankfully, she doesnt seem to have issues sharing with the baby. If I tell her she cant switch b/c that side is for Carly, she is cool. Sometimes when Carly cries, DD1 will say "she needs milkies!". Her anxiety and jealousy are more related towards me, not the baby. I think once I am back to my old self, she should get much better. And then I will be sitting much less, so she wont ask as much.

But yes, somedays I feel like all I do is nurse. And the new one isnt that much of a boobtick, so go figure.

Jenn, perpetually tired mom to DS(9): DD(4.5): DD(2) :
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Old 05-11-2008, 11:25 AM
 
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Tandeming is going really well for us. Avery, also, has upped her nursings since Zoe's been here. They rarely nurse at the same time though. Avery is a very "gracious" nurser. She always defers to the babe. She also likes sitting by me as I nurse her sister while she nurses a doll. But, yeah, she is back up to nursing a good 10X per day. Lots and lots of nursin' going on!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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Old 05-11-2008, 03:01 PM
 
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Your story sounds very familiar to me - it's more like what happened the first time i tandem nursed, when DS was born. i felt really guilty saying no to DD, but honestly once i started setting limits and explained to her that we were only going to nurse at certain times of the day, she stopped bugging me all the time to nurse and was very content to nurse during those special times, when she could have me all to herself.

so this time around, i have set limits with DS from the beginning. well, starting in pregnancy, actually. he's only nursing about 3x a day. maybe once or twice more if he's feeling sick or hurts himself or something. it has made life a lot easier. he doesn't ask much outside of those designated times because he knows it's not likely i'll say yes.

it really does get easier - once the novelty of there being milk wears off, plus the stress everyone experiences adjusting to having a new baby in the house, the three of you will find a happy place together
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Old 05-11-2008, 05:20 PM
 
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I'm with you. DS is so jealous of the new baby! I have tried to nurse him first and then the baby, but that doesn't make any difference. He tries to pull the baby away or fights to get in between me and the baby. We end up fighting and he's sobbing while I try to keep him from hurting the baby. The only solution I have found is to get him going on one side and let the baby have the other. That is not always practical though.

I feel so bad for him, he's not even two yet. This is so hard for him. I have searched for tips and tricks on how to accomodate the older one, but I can't find anything that works for us.

mama to   broc1.gif DS 6/06 and banana.gif DS 4/08
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Old 05-11-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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oh - wanted to add that nursing in a sling or other baby carrier really helps.

#1 it visually obscures what you're doing, so occasionally the older nursling doesn't notice what's going on and is less inclined to ask

#2 it allows you to have your hands free so you can engage the older nursling in an activity more easily, like a puzzle or book or whatever

#3 you don't have to sit down to nurse. DS often comes running as soon as i sit down in particular places that are familiar nursing spots. he virtually never asks me if he can nurse when i'm up and around.
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Old 05-11-2008, 06:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by pixiepunk View Post
oh - wanted to add that nursing in a sling or other baby carrier really helps.
I'm sure it would. I totally planned to have DS2 in a sling or wrap pretty much most of the time, nursing or not. And... he's fine with it, IF he's not nursing. The number of times I've been able to get him to peacefully nurse in any kind of carrier, however, are in the single digits. :-( He pushes with his feet, pulls his head back, and basically kicks up a helluva fuss about the situation most of the time.
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Old 05-11-2008, 07:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by counterGOPI View Post
im going crazy though so im hoping to find help from you mamas!!

it started out great but now my older dd wants to nurses ALL.THE.TIME! she hardly eats solid fodds now too b/c she's nursing so much. she screams in the night when i have to nurse the baby and smacksme andthe babyover and over until she gets to nurse. im nursing pretty much 24/7 and going insane! im hoping this transition period ends soonand we can get to that happy tandem place.
anyways enough complaining from me.. how are youladies doing and did you have rough patches too?
Sounds EXACTLY like us. Night time is the worst b/c she's tired plus she's getting her two year molars. Anyhow, if baby is awake dh takes baby and lets her suck on his finger until dd nurses to sleep, then brings baby in to nurse. I wish we would have created a bedtime routine before baby came. We just let dd go to bed with us before, and it worked perfect, but with another baby around things don't go so smoothly. Oh well, know we know for next time. BTW dd is 22mo.

Lori, mom to Elise 6/06, Ivy 4/08 and pos.gif 12/11
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