When will you try again? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 02:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh and I have been discussing child spacing because we want to sort of hammer out waiting 3 years vs. ttc sooner. Immediately after birth I said it was going to be a looong time before I'd go through all that again. But my labor was so smooth, I think the memories of the rough parts are gone already. So I don't have that to block my desire for more babies. Plus, dh and I dtd and I feel completely normal down there again - I had pain every time from dd's birth, the OB put an "extra" stitch in when sewing up my tear, dh never liked it that way, so it seems my skid mark pretty much set me back to my original state. I'm happy about that, but then again it's dangerous because I actually want to have relations with my dh again. *sigh*

And then dh said maybe he doesn't want to wait three years, and that he really loves having children in his life (awwwww). And he'd totally go for getting me a mother's helper if three kids under four is going to happen.

Plus, I'm *totally* missing our DDC experience. It was so much fun, I keep thinking about wanting to get into another one (I know - completely wrong reason to get pregnant again!).

So who else is thinking about the whole ttc/pregnancy/birth experience again? Who is all done?

Mom to DD ('06) and DS ('08)
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#2 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 02:37 PM
 
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seriously the second I had both of my kids I thought "Omg I cant wait to do this again!" I love having babies. And going to 2 just felt so natural for us. I wanted to get pregnant again at about 6 months but because of my past miscarriage I'm going to wait until about 1 year. I only get 1 more and then DH is getting snipped. I really wanted 4 but...
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#3 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 02:45 PM
 
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well none of mine were planned, so i am new to the ttc thing. we actually discussed this last night. i got the iud in at my 6 week to avoid another "happy oops" (i can never bring myself to refer to anything that resulted in my beautiful children as a mistake) so hopefully this will be the birth control that actually works for me. (because nfp and 2 brands of pills obviously don't)

we want to put about 2 to 2 and half years between them (dd2 and dd3 are 21 months apart and a little more space would be nice with the next one) so we will get the iud out in july of 2009 and officially start "trying" in september. if something happens before september (which given my track record probably will) then we will have a march-june baby, and if it happens in september or a little later we are hoping for a summer 2010 little one..

hopefully all goes as planned =)
maybe ill see some of you in my next ddc a year and a half from now.

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." -Harold B. Lee
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#4 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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I want a #4 but I don't want them for a few years lol. My DD1 and DS1 are 3 1/2 years a part thats perfect for me DS1 and DS2 are 2 1/2 years apart and thats hard as hell for me . because Christopher tries to pick up Wyatt all the time I can't even take a shower without someone else home Too hard for me.
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#5 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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We are going to TTC again in Feburary.
Boy howdy! Yee-haw! ETC. :
Pregnancy and labor were a cake walk, I'm scared about doing pp with a toddler though. If we concieve in Feb, Caleb would be 19 months old when #2 is born!
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#6 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 03:08 PM
 
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We'll probably stop using protection around December, but who knows if my cycles will be back to TTC or not by then. It t ook us 2 years to conceive dd, so it might take us a while again, although I've heard that women with pcos are more fertile for a while after giving birth. I'm a little nervous about trying to BF while pregnant, but I loved being pregnant and can't wait to be pregnant again.

Mama to Eleanore Rae, born April 6, 2008 & Adelaide Jane, born December 16, 2010, Cautiously expecting #3 September 10, 2013

I blog! Check my profile for the link

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#7 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 03:29 PM
 
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We'll probably stop using protection around December, but who knows if my cycles will be back to TTC or not by then. It t ook us 2 years to conceive dd, so it might take us a while again, although I've heard that women with pcos are more fertile for a while after giving birth. I'm a little nervous about trying to BF while pregnant, but I loved being pregnant and can't wait to be pregnant again.

There might be some truth to your PCOS comment...I too have it and it seemed that when we tried to get pg right away it happened quickly (but we also had a lot of losses too ) but when we waited we then needed clomid.

We will not be having any more babies here. dh got snippy snipped and even if he hadn't I don't think my body could take another pg. This one was tough enough and my GD was sooo much worse.
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#8 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 03:38 PM
 
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NEVER!!! Just kidding and a little overwhelmed. My answer may be different in a year. We are leaning toward being done, but haven't fully decided.
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#9 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 03:52 PM
 
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I haven't decided yet. Dh said whatever so I ust need to decide on spacing. If I'm feeling brave then it might be when dd2 is 19 months (Nov/Dec 2009). Otherwise it will be Nov/Dec 2010.

Andrea fly-by-nursing2.gif - Mommy to DD1 ('05), DD2 ('08), DD3 (6/17/11) cd.gif homebirth.jpg

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#10 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 04:02 PM
 
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We aren't preventing but we aren't trying either... given that we got pregnant the first time we ever had sex? I have a feeling we will be pregnant again soon... We are going to visit hubby in 24 days (WOO HOO) and all my friends think it would be hilarious if I got pregnant then... if that happened we would have 2 babies 11 months apart!! Ack!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#11 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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Never ever ever. LOL
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#12 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 04:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ORLY? View Post
We are going to TTC again in Feburary.
Boy howdy! Yee-haw! ETC. :
Pregnancy and labor were a cake walk, I'm scared about doing pp with a toddler though. If we concieve in Feb, Caleb would be 19 months old when #2 is born!
Originally we thought we were done with this one but we have decided to have one more and stop using contraceptive and start charting around jan/feb...so maybe we will end up together again!

"Parents are simply trustees; they do not own the bodies of their children"-Norm Cohen  Martial arts instructor intactlact.gifhomebirth.jpgnak.gif and mom to 4: DD1 (1/05) DS (7/06) DD2 (5/08) DD3 (2/11)
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#13 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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Try again?!!! laughup:

Mama to twin girls Adele and Nadia, born 5/2008
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#14 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 05:03 PM
 
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no trying here! Baby #4 was our last baby. DH gets the big V in just a few weeks, as soon as he gets home from this last rode job.
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#15 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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I keep changing my mind. After the birth (2nd birth and 2nd excruciating back labor) I said never again despite planning on having 4 kids. Hubby was in complete agreement. About a month later we watched The Business of Being Born and got back on the 4 babies train under the condition of waiting 4 years before we try again (both kids in school). Today I want to be pregnant again NOW, but I haven't quite forgot the pain part.

Because I tend to go with my head over my heart I'll most likely be waiting 4 years unless of course I win the lottery and my dh can quit his job to stay home with me and the kids!
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#16 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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I'm all done. We have two and that's perfect. If I ever want more, I'm open to adoption. Dh is getting snipped.
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#17 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 06:55 PM
 
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This whole pregnancy, I was convinced that we were stopping at two, but now I'm not so sure. The first time I brought up having a third, DH said no; I brought it up again last night, and he asked a lot of questions but didn't say no.

These two are 4 years apart and the spacing is perfect and so easy, so if we decide to have another, I think we'll start TTC at the start of 2011. It took a long time to conceive these two, but my PCOS is being treated now, so hopefully it would go more quickly.
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#18 of 37 Old 06-04-2008, 11:34 PM
 
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We never try to prevent pregnancies, but I do follow ecological breastfeeding to try and give the babes some space.

It worked well last time as I conceived DD2 just before DD1's 3rd birthday.

I'm hopeful we'll get about the same spacing as I do want to give DD2 a chance to be a baby!
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#19 of 37 Old 06-05-2008, 06:34 PM
 
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NO WAY ! We're so done. DH is getting the big V next month. 6 is enough!
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#20 of 37 Old 06-06-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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either next may or the may after that

we want our aquarius!!

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#21 of 37 Old 06-06-2008, 06:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KariM View Post
We never try to prevent pregnancies, but I do follow ecological breastfeeding to try and give the babes some space.

It worked well last time as I conceived DD2 just before DD1's 3rd birthday.

I'm hopeful we'll get about the same spacing as I do want to give DD2 a chance to be a baby!

Same for us, only the girls are 22 months apart.

Lori, mom to Elise 6/06, Ivy 4/08 and pos.gif 12/11
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#22 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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i am so torn on this subject. i always said i'd like to have 3 or 4. DH has always wanted a "six pack" - i've told him since forever that there's no way i'm having six, and did remind him that our family would be a six pack if we had four

the whole time i was pg i said i was done. it was really emotionally difficult for me being pregnant this time for a lot of reasons, not the least of which this was the first time we weren't actually TTC. i also had a lot of stuff happen that would've been emotionally difficult pregnant or not. the morning after i had her i felt sure that i never wanted to do it again. my labor was only 4 hours and incredibly intense. but not so horrible or anything, a pretty easy and beautiful homebirth, no tearing, quick and speedy recovery.

now, i just don't know. it's nice to have another baby. and she's an amazing baby - so mellow, so easy. but it's still hard to manage sometimes, and i can't help but think that i'd really be just losing my mind if i had a high need baby like DD1 was. i like the idea of having 4, but i just don't know if i could handle being pregnant again, adjusting to life with a new member of the family again. i've considered adoption, but i don't know that we could afford it.

i'm also 34, and one thing i know for sure is that it'll be at least 3 or 4 years before we'd TTC, and DH is almost 9 years older than me. i'm not sure i want to start over with an infant when i'm pushing 40 and he's pushing 50, especially when i'd finally be getting this baby off to school and have the ability to teach more and lead more retreats and maybe even (gasp!) go on a retreat myself! a selfish little voice in my head looks forward to a time when i actually have some time for myself, to do the things i love to do. i seriously dream of a day when all the kids are in school and after i get them off in the morning i can spend an hour or two just doing some yoga, straightening up the house, sewing, maybe even read a book just for pleasure and get through it in less than 5 months

i also really miss my DH. i know that sounds weird. it's not like we never spend alone time together, but it's rare these days with him having to get up so early (like 4am) and working multiple jobs. and then he comes home and the kids want his attention, and then we all crawl into bed together and we're on totally opposite sides of the bed from each other. i look forward to a day when all the kids are happily in their own beds and DH and i can just snuggle together like we used to.

sigh. i dunno. we definitely havealot more thinking to do...
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#23 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 03:59 AM
 
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I really liked being pregnant, but I want to go to nursing school and don't want to do that pregnant so it depends on when I get into that. I won't even qualify to apply for another two years so I can probably squeeze another one out before then.

We LOVE the 27 month spacing we have with these two. It works out really well for us in a lot of ways so we'll probably shoot for that.

I am already discussing the next one with my MW. At my 3 day pp appointment, we agreed that we'd put it in my records to go to at least 43 weeks b/c I WANT to go into labor naturally next time (have gone to 42 weeks both times and had water broken to induce)

Jen D.

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#24 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 08:03 AM
 
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We're pretty sure that we're done here. If we have another child, it'll probably be an oopsie event, hehe. That said, there is some talk of adopting in 5 years or so, depending upon the situation.
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#25 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 09:50 AM
 
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I think having them 18 months apart would be a good length...which means trying somewhat soon--4 more months!
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#26 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 12:29 PM
 
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I dont know. I think about this all the time. If I could find someone to carry and birth the baby, I would want them about 18 mos apart. However, with DH's deployment schedule, and my body needing a break (check my signature line..lol) it may end up being longer.

Mama to nine gorgeous babies, with finale #10 due April'14.
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#27 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 02:16 PM
 
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somewhere around 2 years. we want them all to be 2 yrs apart. i want a winter baby next though ive got my spring and autumn babes :

Waldorf mama to Autumn DD 9/05 and my Spring DD 4/08 Winter baby due 2/11
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#28 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 02:45 PM
 
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We don't believe in trying for or preventing babies... so the next one will come whenever he/she will come or not at all... we'll have to wait and see!

mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
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#29 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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We don't believe in trying for or preventing babies... so the next one will come whenever he/she will come or not at all... we'll have to wait and see!
This is pretty much how we feel about it.. we will just see what happens!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#30 of 37 Old 06-07-2008, 07:15 PM
 
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Is anyone else on the fence??

At the start of our last pregnancy, DH was pretty set on just two.
we always talked about having 2-3 so this seemed pretty right on. I LOVE being pregnant though, so I've always been partial to three.

Now that we have two, we may just be done. It may be better just to focus our attention on our two instead of going for a third.

We've talked about possibly going for baby number three when Lilah is 2-3.
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