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#1 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry I've been missing for so long, mamas. I honestly just couldn't bear to log in here for a very long time. I haven't logged in since early March. I feel bad for just dropping out.

I lost my baby boy on March 6. I felt something was wrong, something was off, and I went into my 36 week appointment feeling a little nervous that I was in premature labor. Nothing prepared me for what happened next... they said there was no heartbeat. My little boy was gone.

I got my natural labor... well, almost. I decided to be induced that day rather than wait. They used cytotec, which I didn't realize at the time - I really didn't care at that point about anything. Apparently my body knew it was time, as it went into full labor right away. It wasn't that bad at all. I kept waiting for real labor to start (I had intended to get an epidural due to the circumstances, but I wanted to just wait until things got really painful before getting it). By the time I realized I really WAS in full labor I was hitting transition and the next contraction I was pushing.

Devin Alin was born still on March 6 at 6:58pm. He weighed 4lbs 10oz and was 17" long. He was perfect, precious.

My husband and I have been coping. I write a lot. We miss him so, so much. I have never felt as lost as I did those first weeks without my baby.

Devin was an IVF-conceived baby... and we really don't know what we're going to do now. We're "trying" again, but that didn't work too well last time. I'm hoping for the best, preparing for the worst.

Love and peace to all of you. Thank you for the birth beads. They're one more thing to put in Devin's memory box... one more thing to remind me that he really was here.

Natalie, mama to Katherine (5/22/10), missing Devin (stillborn 3/6/08)
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#2 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:45 AM
 
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I'm, so, so sorry for your loss.

I saw this on new posts, and I just wanted to suggest the Pregnancy Loss forum here. I know that there are some wise mama's there.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#3 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you... I did see that there is a Loss forum here on Mothering. Heading over there now.

Natalie, mama to Katherine (5/22/10), missing Devin (stillborn 3/6/08)
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#4 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 02:59 AM
 
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I'm not from your DDC but couldn't read and not post. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

write@home mama to big boy (04-06) and little boy (10-08)
and someone new in november stork-suprise.gif

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#5 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 11:23 AM
 
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I am not in your DDC either, but I too wanted to say that i am so sorry for your loss. Peace, prayers and blessings-

Shane mama to three boys!! Wife to an amazing man.
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#6 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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Also not in your DDC, but wanted to say how terribly sorry I am for your loss

mama to two sweet girls love.gif 8/05, fairy.gif 11/08, a handsome little guy babyboy.gif 4/11, and expecting another 5/13
always missing our angel1.gif (11/04, 4/07, 8/07, 5/10)
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#7 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:31 PM
 
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Oh honey, I am so sorry. I hope that someday you find peace.

WOHM to Leo (4/08) reading.gif and enjoying the journey with DH geek.gif

Announcing the arrival of Clara in August 2013! homebirth.jpg

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#8 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:33 PM
 
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SO sorry for your loss, there is an excellent article in this month's Oprah magazine written by a woman whose son was stillborn at 40wk. It made me cry.
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#9 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:52 PM
 
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I am sooo sorry for your loss

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#10 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 01:59 PM
 
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Not in your DDC :

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#11 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 05:04 PM
 
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#12 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 05:22 PM
 
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Also not in your DDC but I am so sorry for your loss. It isn't fair. It shouldn't happen.


alivia, mama to sunshine dd (2003), snuggly dd (2009), & bonus baby (due 06/2010), homesteader, homeschooler, writer, lifelong learner
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#13 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 05:27 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss.




mama to the Girls (15, 14, 13) and the Littles (5, 3) 
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#14 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 05:37 PM
 
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to you. I can't imagine.

milk donation : mother to Ryan (6), AJ (5), Nate (2), Maia (1) all born at home, I have a kid-friendly food & bento blog, : :
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#15 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 05:43 PM
 
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#16 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 06:04 PM
 
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i'll be feeling very sad for you. i hope you are ok.

Katie
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#17 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 06:15 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss.

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
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#18 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 08:16 PM
 
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Also not in your DDC, but : to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Mom to DD#1 8/04, nursed 43 months, DD#2 8/06, nursed 21 months and DD#3 9/08, still nursing strong
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#19 of 62 Old 07-19-2008, 08:31 PM
 
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:

Laura ~ Wife/Mommy/Doula
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#20 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 12:53 AM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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#21 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 12:58 AM
 
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#22 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 01:13 AM
 
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I am so sorry for you and your beloved baby. He is so beautiful.
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#23 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 03:28 AM
 
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I am so saddened and sorry for your loss.
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#24 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 10:00 AM
 
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I'm am so so sorry.

: feminist mama to DD 04/08
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#25 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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He's so beautiful. I'm so sad, so sorry he passed. I have added your baby to the birth announcement thread.

Love and healing wishes to you and your husband. I hope you get to give Devin a little brother or sister someday soon.

Mom to DD ('06) and DS ('08)
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#26 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 11:00 PM
 
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i am so sorry...may you find peace that transcends your understanding. Hugs hugs and more hugs....

Peace devin...as you are in heaven...
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#27 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 11:26 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Thanks for letting us know. Your family will certainly be in my thoughts.
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#28 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 11:28 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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#29 of 62 Old 07-20-2008, 11:42 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss.

Andrea fly-by-nursing2.gif - Mommy to DD1 ('05), DD2 ('08), DD3 (6/17/11) cd.gif homebirth.jpg

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#30 of 62 Old 07-21-2008, 02:25 PM
 
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I am so, so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain you have had to deal with.

Mama to Eleanore Rae, born April 6, 2008 & Adelaide Jane, born December 16, 2010, Cautiously expecting #3 September 10, 2013

I blog! Check my profile for the link

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