? for moms of 2 little ones already - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 09-29-2007, 01:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Leif is my baby (20 months old) and I rock him every night, read several books, sing about 6 songs, them hum a few more then i count to 100 and creep slow out of the room. At nap time(when there is one)I lay down and read a few books and then pretend to fall asleep while Leif empties everything out of our drawers, climbs in and out of the bed, and then finally climbs up and snuggles with me. I can not do this when his little sister comes and I have to nurse her 24 hours a day for 4 months! And I don't want him to hate her because infants are even MORE needy than Leif.
I love rocking Leif at night and i love snuggling with him at nap, but is it possible to keep this up when you have 2?
please reassure me, mamas
thanks
gabby
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#2 of 7 Old 09-29-2007, 11:57 AM
 
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Yes, you can do it with 2. Leif might need to give up a little, but he can "get" more too. He can rock with you AND baby. He gets to cover "his" new baby in kisses. He "gets" to be a big brother. He is very special and important!! He can cuddle up with you and baby. Present to him what a wonderful thing this is. Don't tell him he will be jealous, you just set him up to be. Instead present how blessed he is, how happy he will be, that it is "our baby", His baby"... You can do it mama. Helping Leif understand that there are other important people in the world will help him in life too.
My 2 oldest children are 23 and 22. They were close as babies, close as kids, and now as adults, married with children themselves, they are still good friends. It certainly can be done!
Traceyky, blessed mama to many, alternately sailing and struggling through the queasies!
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#3 of 7 Old 09-29-2007, 12:05 PM
 
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I always just read one book a song or 2 and then but ds to bed. He was 14 months old when I had dd. I would put ds in bed at about 8pm and then dd would nurse for about 45-60 minutes and then be asleep by 9 (even as a newborn, but then she would wake up in the middle of the night obviously). I warn them that it will be bedtime soon so they kind of get it in their head to wind down. ('bedtime in one hour" then "bedtime in 30 minutes" etc). My sane-ness seriously depended on a routine b/c I was a teen single mom and college student.

Now with 2 our routine is:
-bath (not every single night but most)
-brush teeth and get PJ's on
-both make one last potty, dd then will get a diaper on b/c she still wets at night
-read a book on my bed so we can all see it
-put each one in their beds in their own room and tuck them in
-sing 2 songs standing inbetween their rooms (so they both can see me)
-kiss and hugs and I compliment them on being so good that day or something then I leave

Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
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#4 of 7 Old 10-03-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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This is a great time to start getting the daddy involved.

I have 2 little boys and when I was pregnant with baby#2, I gradually started letting/encouraging my dh to do the bedtime routine. So now, he does bath and gets teh boys ready for bed while I clean the kitchen after dinner.

I come upstairs and hug/kiss them both, and send the older boy (he's 3 1/2) to his room with his daddy where they read some books together and I snuggle up with the 20 month old and nurse him. He does many of the things your 20 month old does, lol. Eventually he gets tired, nurses a few times in between all his antics and falls asleep in our bed.

My oldest son moved to his own room at HIS CHOICE when he was about 2 3/4 - not quite 3. He knew the room was/is his and his brother's, he just didn't want to be in it til then. He's been happy and secure in it since. Every once in a while that's not true and he spends the night in our bed. It's all good.

I'm hoping that his brother will decide similarly to move. . ..

Really it's not that difficult with 2 little ones - you just have to remind the older child(ren) often that baby is delicate and needs to be treated gently and lovingly. Realize too that the first 6weeks or so may be quite memorable and sometimes difficult, but after that, it gets easier and they become the best of friends and inseparable and when the youngest is mobile, look out! they team up and man, the things they think of to do!!! . . . .at least that's been my experience.

BettyAnn
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#5 of 7 Old 10-03-2007, 07:25 PM
 
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no solutions for you, just as i am in a similiar situation as a momma to a 21 month old who is a total momma's girl.

my husband is very worried about what she is going to do when she finds out she has to share her momma and specifically her "milks." i have been trying to encourage more daddy time and it seems to be working wonders, especially since i've been sick and daddy is MUCH more fun than momma now
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#6 of 7 Old 10-03-2007, 07:39 PM
 
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Daddy can be a HUGE resource at this point. If he is willing, let him take over bedtime. Assuming they have a secure attachment, ds may express some displeasure, but count on things settling down quickly. You may even get the benefit of a few months of free evenings before the baby comes

My dh has done bedtime with ds since he was 14mos and now that we are expecting again, he has started with 15mo dd as well.
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#7 of 7 Old 10-04-2007, 03:11 AM
 
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I'm worried about this too. DH isn't going to be very helpful as he works 60 hour weeks and goes to school at night. It doesn't help that DS could be lying next to him in bed crying and it doesn't even wake him up!:

My two will only be 19 months apart, and DS is addicted to the boob. I am already looking up postpartum doulas, housekeepers and mother's helpers so I can negotiate a low price and start saving up now. I don't know how I'll cope those first few weeks otherwise.

DS cannot sleep without me. For right now, we're planning on sliding a full sized mattress under our queen sized bed, and we're hoping we'll be able to get DS to sleep on the mattress (with me) and then I can move up to the bed with the baby. Not quite sure how this will work.
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