is it just my hormones? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 10-17-2007, 12:11 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm 18.. I've been with my DP for 10 months. This pregnancy was a surprise but we've decided to welcome it with open arms. Lately I've started to feel trapped. And i feel like he depends on me to much. How am i going to take care of him and a baby? I've seriously thought about breaking up with him and openly expressed it. But i go back and forth on this. Should i blame this on my hormones? Is this extreme normal enough to blame on my hormones?
Because before this pregnancy we talked about marriage and i was happy and thought breaking up would completely tear me apart.
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#2 of 5 Old 10-17-2007, 12:16 PM
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Oh honey... No one can tell you what to do or whether your hormones are contributing to your feelings, but you need to listen to your deepest voice and respect its wisdom. You may only be 18 years old (which, frankly, puts you at a slight disadvantage for deciphering these kinds of situations because everything you face now is so new) but you do hold the truth somewhere inside you if you dare to listen for it.
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#3 of 5 Old 10-17-2007, 12:49 PM
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Not in your DDC but........For me, its hormones. I go back and forth all the time. I used to do it when PMS and I been doing it since Ive been pregnant. Unless hes being PERFECT Im doubting him/us. I think its because I have a tendency to look at the world like "all is lost, time to run away and start over" when I get moody and stressed. I have to remind myself that this is going to pass, and i need to just move forward. One day at a time.

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#4 of 5 Old 10-17-2007, 01:28 PM
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I have learned to not make any drastic decisions during pregnancy or the first year postpartum....I'll tell you a story that I've never told anyone else before...

When Noah was 6 months old, I got a bee in my bonnet about moving out of soCal. My husband (ex now), bless his heart, was as supportive as he could be, even though he knew the employment prospects for him here were slim to none. I rushed headlong into moving here, so convinced it was the right thing to do....

My husband helped me move, and then he moved in with his parents in Long Beach to save money until he found a job here. A few months went by, of course no job prospects revealed themselves...and the separation was gradually getting to me. Finally, practically on a whim, I called my husband and told him that I thought he should stay in California. He was devastated, and we divorced.

Over the last 3-4 years I have gradually come to the realization that I was suffering from rolling stone syndrome (I inherited it from my father, darn him..) and whenever I am experiencing a major change in my life (like a new baby) I tend to get very dissatisfied with my life in general.

In this case, it was a mistake. I understand and embrace that fact. I broke my husband's heart, and I will always regret that. We have both since moved on; he's remarried, living in Amsterdam, and expecting a new baby, and of course I'm remarried and expecting a new baby.

Now that I know this about myself, though, I can prevent it from happening in the future.

I guess the point of my story is....I would wait to act if I were you. The last few weeks, I have been SO irritable, like PMS times 1000. Sometimes I daydream about packing my bag and moving to Switzerland. So I know how you are feeling, but for your sake, your DPs, and most importantly, your baby's.....don't do anything until you are absolutely sure that it is what you want. And it doesn't sound like you are sure.

Misti, mom to DS (12), DS (9), DD (3), and Mr. Man (October '10)!

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#5 of 5 Old 10-17-2007, 05:47 PM
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I have no idea. I'm 23 & have been with my boyfriend for a year & a half. He is FANTASTIC & I love him very much, but this wasn't planned, & yeah - I feel trapped, & I feel scared, & I feel like getting out of it.

But then we saw jellybean on the ultrasound & I felt so UTTERLY in love with him for the following week... so I'm hoping it's just the hormones. Because it's not a consistent sensation. & if it's not the hormones then I guess I am making a horrible mistake...
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