Need Help Getting Excited about Gender - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-11-2008, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We're having a girl. I really had hoped for another boy, as did DH. I am worried about somehow not getting as excited since this isn't what I had wished for. My gut had told me we were having a boy. So much for my intuition. Any suggestions on how to get excited when the sex of your baby is not what you had hoped for?
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:37 PM
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Nope. I wanted a girl, and we're having a boy.
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:37 PM
 
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go shopping for baby girl clothes!
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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go shopping for baby girl clothes!
LOL. My DH would probably kill me. One reason he wanted a boy so bad is b/c we have plenty of wonderful boy clothes and they would have fit with the timing quite perfectly. Financially we don't have a lot of extra money to afford a lot right now.
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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QUOTE=happyhippiemama;10517437]Nope. I wanted a girl, and we're having a boy.[/QUOTE]

alright let's just trade.
:[
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:43 PM
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When are you due? Where do you live?

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Old 02-11-2008, 07:45 PM
 
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i was so sure our first dc would be a boy, then she turned out to be a girl! i thought it was my intuition, but really now i think it was more that i was wishing for a boy. i feel it may have something to do with a strained relationship with my mom, if that makes sense, so i had concerns about having a daughter myself. its been great though, she 3 1/2 now
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Old 02-11-2008, 07:51 PM
 
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When I had my first baby, I was positive that it was a girl. I KNEW deep in my gut that it was a girl. I even had dreams about her, named her, told people "I don't need to know! I already do!"...............
Unfortunately my SON had all HIS giblets right out for display!
I cried when I found it he was a boy. I cried for days. I didn't get excited at all. At that point it was just, oh, gee I'm having a baby!
But, boy, I will tell you, the minute I pulled that baby up to my chest after the longest, worst labor I think I'll ever go through, it was pure love!!!!!!!
And I've been in love with him ever since!!!!
It'll be fine momma!
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Old 02-11-2008, 08:37 PM
 
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I had a friend who went through the same thing. Really wanted a girl and found out it was a boy. She cried and was depressed for a while during her pregnancy. Now her son is 3 and I KNOW she would tell you that she would not trade him for any girl in the world. Just wait until you see your baby! It won't matter at all:

Oh and I second the buy some girl stuff thing. I'm all about gender neutral but to be perfectly honest, girl stuff is waaay cuter

and for what its worth, Cardinal and happyhippiemama, I have one of each, like you each will now have, and I LOVE the relationship that my two have with each other and I think a lot has to do with them being of opposite gender.(infact I worry how the unbalancing of their next sibling will effect them)
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Old 02-11-2008, 08:44 PM
 
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We don't know our baby's sex, but we have a boy already. I don't really care, but I think it would be sad not to ever have a girl, and here's why:
1. Every boy needs a sister as a basic "reality check" on women's bodies.
2. Think about all the great things you do with your mom. Even pregnancy! Have you asked your mom about her birth stories? These are special things that you will get to share with your daughter in the future. Can you imagine 25 years from now being there when she has her first baby? Or gets married, etc etc? Having someone to go out and do girly things with. I think I would really miss not having that ever, because all I had was boys.

I also agree that going out and getting some cute girly stuff (do they have a baby consignment store where you are? We have some upscale ones that have nearly-new stuff for really cheap - great for shopping when you're not feeling flush). Also consider making some cute girly blanket or hat or booties if you're crafty at all.

Mom to James (ribboncesarean.gif 5/2006), Claire (vbac.gif 6/2008), furry kitties Calvin and Bob, and wife to Dennis. 

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Old 02-11-2008, 08:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mandalin24kd View Post
When I had my first baby, I was positive that it was a girl. I KNEW deep in my gut that it was a girl. I even had dreams about her, named her, told people "I don't need to know! I already do!"...............
Unfortunately my SON had all HIS giblets right out for display!
I cried when I found it he was a boy. I cried for days. I didn't get excited at all. At that point it was just, oh, gee I'm having a baby!
But, boy, I will tell you, the minute I pulled that baby up to my chest after the longest, worst labor I think I'll ever go through, it was pure love!!!!!!!
And I've been in love with him ever since!!!!
It'll be fine momma!
My story is almost just like yours. I was sure he was a girl so was my Dh. When I found out I came home and cried. This seemed to cure me for the most part. I wasn't so happy he was a boy but I was happy to be having a baby. It wasn't that I didn't ever want a boy, I just wanted a girl first.
Let me tell you the moment the MW put his warm wiggly body on my chest I have never looked back. I can't imagine having anything other then my beautiful ds, He is the love of my life.
Now I am pregnant again and the doc thinks it looks like a girl. I'm excited but not in the way I thought I would be. I guess since I already have a boy I know they are just as wonderful as a girl. And that no matter what we end up with we are gonna love them more then anything. You will love your daughter more then you can imagine, don't worry.
Also, You can get lots of cute clothes etc second hand. Babies hardly wear their clothes out they grow so fast and aren't eating solids yet or getting into messy stuff. Do you have craigslist? I see people offering whole boxes of clothes for cheap all the time. Is any of your newborn stuff in neutral colors? You could use mostly neutrals and if you care if people know she's a girl just get a couple of pink accents.
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Old 02-11-2008, 09:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Cardinal View Post
We're having a girl. I really had hoped for another boy, as did DH. I am worried about somehow not getting as excited since this isn't what I had wished for. My gut had told me we were having a boy. So much for my intuition. Any suggestions on how to get excited when the sex of your baby is not what you had hoped for?
Hi,

I could have written your post, except that I already have a dd and wanted another girl. We found out last week we are having a boy. I cried for a day, but then I went out and bought an outfit for the little guy and it helped. I know that might sound really superficial, but I needed to have something tangible that would help me to relate to the idea of not having another girl. I am still not as into the idea of a boy as I was a girl, but when I feel him move around and realize that he is a person first, it helps.

I am not sure if any of this helps you, but as he becomes more real for me (kicking, squirming around) I find I am less focused on he vs. she and just so excited to have another precious baby!

Good luck and congratulations!

Jacqueline
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Old 02-11-2008, 10:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone for your sweet replies and words of wisdom. I think buying some cute clothes will definately help and I totally agree that girl clothes are just fun and more enjoyable to shop for, on the whole. I am worried about my DS not having a brother to play with --- he is so rough and tumble and dirt-loving. He is "all boy," although that sounds awful and stereotypical. I just wonder what it will be like if we have a girl who is very demure and docile and "feminine." There of course is nothing wrong with that, but I wonder if it will cause conflict and disconnect. I want siblings who are really close to each other. Does that make sense? It's funny b/c I don't know anyone IRL who wants a boy as bad as I do. Everyone I know wants girls and gets disappointed if it is a boy. LOL.
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Old 02-11-2008, 10:35 PM
 
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My boy is ALL boy (first word was "truck") and my girl is ALL girl (loves dolls and dresses). This despite for a year dh staying home while I worked as a fisheries biologist. But as I mentioned before Jack and Eileen are best friends. I can't believe sometimes how great they get along and play together for hours. They just balance each other out and make each other try things that they would never normally think to do alone.
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Old 02-11-2008, 10:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My boy is ALL boy (first word was "truck") and my girl is ALL girl (loves dolls and dresses). This despite for a year dh staying home while I worked as a fisheries biologist. But as I mentioned before Jack and Eileen are best friends. I can't believe sometimes how great they get along and play together for hours. They just balance each other out and make each other try things that they would never normally think to do alone.
Thank you! I hope that this holds true for our family, too.
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Old 03-01-2008, 05:58 PM
 
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I know this post was a while ago, I hope you are feeling better by now... I just wanted to add that my older brother and I are very close, we were as kids for the most part also ( he was kinda mean from 6-12). So don't worry!! My neice beats up her older cousin all the time!!!! Girls adjust to having rough and tumble boys arround : ) ANd on the plus side, DH now also enjoy the fact that I will play rough with him!
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