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I feel like a failure

521 views 10 replies 10 participants last post by  elfinbaby 
#1 ·
I've been reading posts about mamas exercising prenatally and in their post-partum period, and maybe it's just today and feeling exhausted from lack of sleep...but ever since I got on mat leave, I'm exhausted EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Is it just me or what?!

I thought that resting for a few days would pump me back up and then I'd be ready to tackle my huge list of To Dos before baby gets here, but so far, I still don't feel like myself, and I can't even fathom exercising. I've never been like this before; I've always found it in me to do some core work while watching tv, or attend a drop-in yoga class somewhere in town, or even get some last minute cleaning done.

Right now, I'm just so tired the thought of what I *should* be doing makes me want to cry. Years ago, when I thought of having a child, I had always imagined myself being a fit pregnant mama, and that I'd get back into shape super fast after baby, but considering how I feel now, I don't think it's going to happen...I don't even think I'll be able to handle not sleeping for months on end (look at the shape I'm in today and I got a good 4 hours!)...and it just makes me feel like a failure. I don't even have enough diapers made! ARG!
 
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#2 ·
you are NOT a failure! I get wiped out just chasing my toddler all day, let alone exercising! We are PREGNANT. And while that doesn't mean fragile or weak, it does mean that we are actively growing human beings inside our bodies and could stand to rest a little more than usual. Seriously, this is hard work! And if your body is telling you to rest, maybe thats what you need most right now. I mean, you've been working up until now, so maybe your body is telling you it just needs a break.
 
#3 ·
I come home completely exhausted too. I teach kindergarten and after a day of walking them around the school and trying to be fun and entertaining, I'm beat. And now with us moving classrooms, I'm especially done. I vow to make myself walk a mile or so every day once I'm done with school next week.
 
#4 ·
Don't feel like a failure. You're listening to your body! Your body is telling you it's tired, so you slow down and take a break. You finally have the freedom to relax and not stress out like you did your whole pregnancy. Now is YOUR time to relax, rest, and wait for baby to come! That's exactly what you should be doing. It's tough when you're a normally very active person... but your body knows what it needs... and it's telling you... maybe you're a bit stubborn and don't always listen, so your body is MAKING SURE you listen! You're doing great!
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by klink2 View Post
"4 hours"? What do you mean? Do you mean that is all the sleep you got last night? If so, I think I discovered your problem! I get at least 8 (minus 5 or 6 pee breaks) and I still want to collapse some afternoons. You need more rest!
Yes, what she said!! I was thinking the exact same thing. I think you need to solve your sleep problems and you'll feel so much better! Is 4 hours normal for you pre-pregnancy? Or is it pregnancy related? Do you know why? Are you sore, having insomnia, just up to pee a lot?

I'm probably one of the more active people you're referring to, but I'm getting a lot of sleep at night. I'm sleeping great - solid (except for peeing every 2-4 hours) from 10-6 at least, sometimes more.

I did discover caffeine in my 2nd trimester, too. I know, it's terrible. But, the 2-3 days/week I have it in the afternooon really help and it's not affecting my sleep at all. As I'm measuring 40cm at 37 weeks, I can't imagine it's affecting baby's size, either!


I was substitute teaching when pregnant with my first and I remember my last month taking fewer and fewer jobs, sometimes just 1/2 day jobs. I really wanted to, well, do nothing. This is the last chance you're going to get that luxury. During your next pregnancy, you're going to have a child to deal with 24/7! I realize you have your dss now, but he's older and not with you 24/7, right? This is YOU time and you need to take it or you may regret it. The dishes can wait, although I would try to get up the motivation to make your diapers as those'll be hard to do post-baby!! LOL!
 
#7 ·
Oh god no, I usually need a good 8 to 10 hours of sleep per night, but the sore hips/shoulder + pee breaks, + DH getting up at 5:30 almost every morning keeps me up...I guess I want to be super (preggo) woman and the extra weight plus the fatigue is totally getting to me and casting a shadow on my (perhaps unrealistic) pre-pregnancy expectations of myself. I'm so out of my element right now I can't even imagine myself at home, alone, with a newborn.
 
#8 ·
stop "shoulding" on yourself! there aren't any shoulds. think about what your body is doing, and has been doing since the fall. You are growing an entire person in there! If that's all you have energy for, especially w/ the sleep issues, then that's exactly what you should be doing.

Be gentle w/ yourself. It'll be a bit harder to feel rested after baby comes, that's true, so enjoy the quiet now. I have a feeling if one of us other mamas posted this, you'd be one of the first to advocate taking care of herself, going easy w/ the to do list, and not worrying about it too much.

Here's what works for me. If one of your BFFs called w/ exactly the same problem, what would you tell her to do? then, do that.

peaceful sleep vibes...
:
 
#9 ·
Don't feel like a failure! I was doing so well with exercising until I got the flu in Feb/march and felt like crap for a month. I've never managed to pick back up on my routine, so I haven't done squat except chase after a 2-year-old for the last 2.5 months.

...and while I really truly hope to be back on my bike, and DH and I have both agreed that we need to take time to exercise for our own mental and physical health, I've BDTD and it is really hard to find the time. After I had James pretty much the main exercise I got was riding my bike to/from work when I went back to work.
 
#10 ·
Hi,

After all that you have been through with this pregnancy (dh finding a job, etc) I say that you have to cut yourself a break and let yourself be 'lazy'. Remember that you supported a household while growing a baby and it is ok to take some downtime now that you have it!! Besides, I think we have pretty similar due dates which puts you at 34 weeks or so, right? That is when all the books say that fatigue comes back. Yes, exercise can help with that, but it is normal to feel wiped out.

Hang in there mama, you are doing fine!

Jacqueline
 
#11 ·
You're being too hard on yourself. Just relax. Are you eating okay? Is your iron low? I've been feeling crappy and tired (and wanting to chew ice all the time) so I started an iron supplement. I'm hoping that fixes it b/c I have alot of work to do and have zero motivation to do it.

Expectations are hard. I haven't met mine this pregnancy either but so what? Just let it go. Enjoy what's left of this time - the stretches and kicks are so amazing to me. I love this part even though I'm feeling more "full" than usual. It's okay. As soon as it's over I'll wish I could do it again.
 
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