Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: On the river bank....
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Mama to 4 amazing little people, another little expected 3/6/12!
Avid Unassisted Birth supporter/Mama
I think I need to take someones advice from my other thread and not think about PIH this week. I mean, keep up with my diet and pills and all that, but I need to stop with the google-ing. I just feel so defeated and depressed over it, I just want my body to be normal! After DD1 I had pinpointed all the things that caused the BP increase (ate fast food, didn't exercise, etc.) and so this time I am doing everything right, everything I can possibly think of, I feel like some kind of regimented athlete (I joked with my DH that I was giving my body-building uncle a run for his money with my schedule of supplements and daily protein counting ), and I feel like I am in the exact same spot! And after reading and reading and throwing so much money into buying this product and that product and this special food, etc. I feel like I just want to give up! I know I can't actually give up, I'm growing a baby who depends on me to do the right thing. But I guess I just feel like "ok, whatever, consent to the home induction, its better than being sent to the hospital", even though its not what I want. I want to experience the joy of going into labor, of knowing that my baby picked her birthday and is ready to come greet me.
I know if it gets worse its safer to get her out than to stay pregnant, I know everything points straight to pre-E even if I want to live in denial about it, but I just want to throw a 2 year old tantrum! Maybe I'm just hormonal, I'm trying to hold it in, but so badly I just want to jump up and down and yell "not fair!!" and throw things! That probably sounds really silly. I just feel like, if I'm doing everything right this time, WHY is my body doing this?
But really theres nothing more I can do (despite wanting to run out right now and buy three more things that google has lead me to believe will help, theres always something else out there I can try... ), so I think I will just stick with what I'm doing, and reevaluate at 37 weeks. I guess my goal this time will be to make it to 40 weeks (unless I go into labor on my own before then, I'd be all for that! ), since with DD we induced at 39. And to have a homebirth. I need to remind myself that even if we induce at home it will be a more gentle entry than the one DD1 had, DD2 will have a peaceful water birth and will be placed on my chest and not torn away from me.
Anyways, sorry to ramble that all here on the check in thread, I'm having a mini-breakdown today.....
About the EPO, mine are 500, so I take 2, thats 1000, 3 times a day. I guess next week I'll add one vaginally at night. Does it fully disolve, even the gel-cap?
40 weeks 3 days - baby is transverse. We are scheduling csection for possibly Wed-Fri sometime there and hoping she turns and I start labor or she is low enough to naturally induce me. I am so frustrated and tired at this point I feel I am going to have a breakdown.
Mom to James ( 5/2006), Claire ( 6/2008), furry kitties Calvin and Bob, and wife to Dennis.
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