Join Date: Jun 2004
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Well after Phoenix's post I hope to heck you aren't insinuating her in your post as she DOES have a reason.
As for others... who are you referring to? I don't see people PUSHING their babies to be born??
I did come across as a bit of a lecture... sorry to say.
We all get to choose our choices - babies deserve to be born when THEY choose but there are scheduled cesareans and inductions even before due dates... what would you say to those mamas? I'm not sure there is anything TO say as we can only walk in the shoes given and try to understand someone else's situation...
Mama to 4 amazing little people, another little expected 3/6/12!
Avid Unassisted Birth supporter/Mama
thanks for checking on me Karen
my numbers really aren't that bad, but I really get the feeling my MW is just waiting for me to risk out. 140/90 is her cut off, even in labor. which is a little frustrating because I've read about other MWs on here who are ok with higher #s, but I can't really blame her I guess, as that IS considered hypertension. I asked her about doing a NST, she said it won't help any because her concern is placenta abruption. Theres not really any test they can do for that, is there? I was really trying not to feel discouraged this morning, but after I emailed her my #s from the weekend (she has me email her every few days), it really just seems like shes lost confidence in me. Maybe I'm just overreading her email.
A big part of my guilt too is that we were on medicaid before this pregnancy, and if I chose to have a hospital birth with an OB it would have been covered 100%. But I wanted a homebirth, so I spent our tax return on it, I put so much money that we really didn't have into this birth, I switched insurances to the one offered through DHs work for the possibility that they might cover half of my MWs fees, even though we can't really afford the 50 dollars that comes out of his check for it. And now I'm likely going to end up in the hospital, with even MORE bills because of Aetna co-pays, and no homebirth despite everything that I sacrificed. I feel really guilty about that. We could have really used that tax return money. I feel like I was selfish I guess.
I'm ready to just throw in the towel and ask for a transfer. I don't want to give up, but it feels like everyone around me has and that it would be less stressful if I just gave up now too. I don't know what to do I guess. I feel pretty lost. I just want someone to step in and tell me what to do.
Wife, mom to DS (4), DD (2) and baby heart 2.7.13