The futility of cleaning... - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-16-2008, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've reached the sad yet obvious conclusion that my constant cleaning efforts are just useless, because the apartment keeps getting dirty! Granted, I've done some "deep cleaning", like reorganizing storage and washing walls/ceilings, but as for the other stuff, like dusting and dishes...there's just no point especially living with DH and DSS, the messiest people around! Dust reappears, dishes get dirty again, the kitchen is never totally "clean", and a 2 bedroom apartment gets cluttered quite fast...I figure, after baby is born, things are going to get REALLY messy so I might as well let go and get used to it.
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Old 06-16-2008, 10:59 AM
 
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Imagine living in a house with 3 kids 5 and under and a dh who works at home I'm like a hamster on a wheel
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Old 06-16-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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Totally. . . Also I am now living in the house of pee and poo and my toddler is being potty trained . . .and my DS bless his soul still needs help from time to time./ Can't wait to add all those newborn cloth diapers O I so know what you mean though I'm just looking around at what "needs" to be cleaned and I'm already tired

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Old 06-16-2008, 11:21 AM
 
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Urgh, I know. I have 6 furry animals who like to leave their hair everywhere. I already told DH that when we come home from the hospital he's in charge of vacuuming. In a perfect world, I'd like to vacuum before we go to the hospital, but we'll see about that.
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Old 06-16-2008, 03:31 PM
 
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Oh gosh, no kidding! That's why I'm sitting on here. What's the point? (Especially since I hate cleaning...though I also hate a dirty house...LOL!) Cleaning and cleaning and cleaning still doesn't equal CLEAN (like spring-cleaned "clean") here. We have four kids and two dogs. I clean a section at a time. By the time I've made it through the whole house, the first area is trashed again. Bleh. I go from motivated (um, rarely lately) - to demanding ("Everyone is cleaning today!") - to minimal maintenance and basically giving up. Laundry's under decent control as are dishes. I keep wiping down the upstairs toilets/sinks over and over...and the main upstairs area of the house is vac'd...and that's about it. Clutter and dust still takes over.

I think I'm extra paranoid this time since this is our first homebirth and I don't want to be embarrassed. Please, someone tell me your house wasn't 100% for your HB and it didn't matter. hehe I mean, our house isn't grimy or anything...just not as clean as I'd prefer. (Especially with my neat freak mom here...)
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Old 06-16-2008, 03:38 PM
 
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hahahahaha!!! this is so true! HOW many times will I scrub the floor and then have ds and/or dp come trapsing in with muddy paws all over them? I keep saying "YOU GUYS! I CAN"T GIVE BIRTH IN A MESSY ENVIRONMENT!!" when the fact is, sure I can! The baby doesn't mind, and like I am going to go into labor and say NO, WAIT, LET'S SCRUB THE FLOOR FIRST!!!

Now I just sweep and spot wipe the spills

My house is cleaner and more organized than it has been in a loonnnnng time, so that's a bonus!

And yes, it will just be a mess once baby is born anyway!
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Old 06-16-2008, 04:04 PM
 
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Lol! Totally Christina... except DH doesn't work from home - however he can't clean up worth a cr@p and leaves his stuff wherever until *I* usually do it. Or nag him and he does it - either way it's childish and not helping.

Hamster on a wheel - great description...

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Old 06-16-2008, 04:05 PM
 
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Argh, I know! DS I can't blame... he's 2 1/2. And he's actually really good for his age about cleaning up. He spilled a tiny bit of juice on the carpet the other day (just a few drops, nothing I was going to freak out over), and asked for a napkin, and proceeded to crawl on the floor and scrub it for 10 minutes!
DH on the other hand..... doesn't get it. I'm not even a neat person, but I've been at LEAST trying to keep up with laundry, dishes and vacuuming, so when we have our homebirth, we don't have stuff all over. I know it doesn't matter, but to me it will. Our kitchen and living room are connected as one big room, and I don't want a ton of dog and cat hair floating in the pool with me, and I don't want to have to worry about moving dishes to get the hose hooked up to the faucet to fill the pool. But DH doesn't get it.... we have a dish washer. He'll take a bowl to the sink, set it in there. And that's it. No rinsing, no sticking it in the dish washer. BAH!

Aubree, wife to a wonderful DH, mom to Colin 12/05, Hudson 6/08, and Gavin, 1/12/11.
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Old 06-16-2008, 04:44 PM
 
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I've just improved my general standard of clean, I think, to get ready, which is what I normally do. Just pick up a little more often, etc. it's easier now that the weather is nice anyways because the kids haven't been spending much time indoors.

I too have been nervous about cleanliness/homebirthing...I hope it won't irritate me when I'm in labor.
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Old 06-16-2008, 05:20 PM
 
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like I am going to go into labor and say NO, WAIT, LET'S SCRUB THE FLOOR FIRST!!!
*snicker* The sad thing is, I probably would (will) do just that with my DH telling me how stupid it is. Of course, nobody wants to stay on task around here and keep things reasonable in order to avoid that.

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He'll take a bowl to the sink, set it in there. And that's it. No rinsing, no sticking it in the dish washer. BAH!
Oh...totally! Actually, mine will generally rinse stuff out, but they only make it into the dishwasher when I do it...except on rare occasions.

Did I mention what a great guy my DH is? He really is...usually...
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Old 06-16-2008, 09:13 PM
 
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Before DD arrived our apartment was going downhill...clean wise. It went pretty fast too, because I had a week of contractions and that limited my cleaning some...and DH stopped cleaning the kitchen all together... Laundry pilled up and DS toys were all over. I asked daily for help cleaning...

DD was born over a week ago and our apartment looks the worst it's ever looked and it is DRIVING ME CRAZY. As an OCD person...I cannot clean because it hinders my after-birth healing...The more I move the more I bleed...it's aggrivating. Asking him to clean is like pulling teeth. All of the visitors we have had, had not offered to help clean anything, although my sister did clean up after her kids before she left. And the in-laws did come help watch the kids so DH could get some things done the day after she was born. I just want my clean apartment back without hemmoraging to death. DH's definition of clean is different from mine...he gets upset if I 'tell him how to clean'.

I spend all day thinking about what needs to be done, and getting depressed that it doesn't get done...and won't get done until he's back to work and I'm healed...at home by myself with 2 kids...and have no time to clean it anyways.

Getting that off my chest doesn't make me feel any better...
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Old 06-16-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by butterfly1001 View Post
But DH doesn't get it.... we have a dish washer. He'll take a bowl to the sink, set it in there. And that's it. No rinsing, no sticking it in the dish washer. BAH!
My dh does the same thing and we bickered about it for a while. He'd rather let his dishes collect for a few days on the counter and sink and then do them all at once. I came up with the brilliant idea of putting a dish tub in the cupboard under the sink. All his dishes go in there until he's ready to clean them/put them in the dishwasher. Usually, I have to remove his dishes from the sink or counter and put them in there, but at least he's the one who cleans them up. It's helped quite a bit.

I also got a big basket and placed it by the front door. All of dh's crap, I mean stuff, gets put into it so he can put it away when he's ready. It's helped me to not feel like I'm picking up after him all the time.

I haven't come up with an idea for the dirty floor, I just keep sweeping -- let me know if any of you have the solution!

BTW -- my dh is really a sweet guy and will clean up anything if I ask him to -- I'm not trying to bash him here. We just have different ideas about day-to-day cleanliness.
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Old 06-17-2008, 12:29 AM
 
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BTW -- my dh is really a sweet guy and will clean up anything if I ask him to -- I'm not trying to bash him here. We just have different ideas about day-to-day cleanliness.
:

DH means well, if I ask enough it will eventually get done...be it a few minutes, hours or days. Earlier today he listed off things to get done, laundry and dishes (cleaning the kitchen)...he gets distracted very easily...sat at the comp...did get more laundry going...now he's watching tv...

I like the idea of putting his stuff in a bin for him to put up later, but I tried this with his dirty clothes. If I found them lying around I would put them in a bin in the closet and refuse to wash them...he thought that was totally unreasonable... So now I just ask him to take his clothes to the laundry bin himself...it eventually gets done.

I know he isn't used to doing all of the cleaning...and I appreciate everything he has been doing, I just wish he would stop telling me he is going to do something just so I will stop asking. (He said that does that!)
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Old 06-17-2008, 12:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lab80 View Post
DD was born over a week ago and our apartment looks the worst it's ever looked and it is DRIVING ME CRAZY. As an OCD person...I cannot clean because it hinders my after-birth healing...The more I move the more I bleed...it's aggrivating. Asking him to clean is like pulling teeth. All of the visitors we have had, had not offered to help clean anything(
My mw gave me a really great sign to put on the front door that says:

"Welcome!
Please be a considerate friend/family member and help this family.

Providing a calm and loving welcome for the parents and the new baby is the responsibility of everyone who comes in contact with the new family. Please support this fragile and glorious begining.

It is important for the baby, parents and siblings to rest and get to know each other in a quiet and peaceful atmosphere. It is requested that EVERYONE limit themselves to short visits. 15 minutes represents a short visit.

This is a very special time and the desire to share it with you must be weighed against the need for rest and quiet. Those who can understand this need, help the most.

Before you leave, CONSIDER THE HELP IT WOULD BE to lend a hand~ quietly wash dishes, take a load of laundry home, water the plants, sweep the floor, go to the grocery or bring back a prepared meal, or any other nice thing you feel inclined to do! Your consideration and contribution will be remembered long after this child has grown.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO "MOTHER" MOTHERS AFTER A BIRTH!

Thank you for your helping hand!"

Maybe you could print out something like this. Actually after just typing this out, I think I am going to make one of these today with some slight modifications to have ready to put on the door! Hey, it may not help with the dp./dh factor(bless them!), but at least we will hopefully get our dishes in the dishwasher!
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:31 PM
 
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We were offered one of those types of signs. And we actually have it but I don't think putting it up would do any good. I can see everyone thinking, "well that doesn't apply to me".

We are slowly getting things done. Getting caught up on laundry and DH actually got the kitchen cleaned today, after many loads of dishes. I'm very thanksful that is done.

Other than laundry, we need to stay on top of DS's toys and we need to declutter our dining table and our hutch. And the big things we need to do are simplify evertything in our kitchen and in our guest room, donate and throw things away, which we wanted to do before DD got here but surprise surprise we never got around to it. Oh, and vacuum...our floor needs it badly.
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