for those with a toddler - Mothering Forums
June 2008 > for those with a toddler
Minoh's Avatar Minoh 07:50 PM 07-11-2008
I haven't been on here in a while but dd was born June 29 and is now almost 2wks old. I also have a ds who is 2.5yrs old.

How are other mamas handling the transition to two? I'm finding it really hard to balance the needs of both at this point. Ds has been handling it pretty well most of the time but he's definitely more demanding these days and his naps have been a struggle for me. I was hoping we could all nap together but it's actually dd, with her grunting and gas issues, that keeps me from being able to nap.

Anyway, just wondering how other mamas are faring.

*Karen*'s Avatar *Karen* 08:40 PM 07-11-2008
Ha ha. Struggling every day. DS is a handful and doesn't nap anymore. It is rough.
N8'sMom's Avatar N8'sMom 08:53 PM 07-11-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Karen* View Post
Ha ha. Struggling every day. DS is a handful and doesn't nap anymore. It is rough.
same here....i feel like i'm not giving enough attention to big brother....little sister is on my boob all day and she won't nap by herself. she has to be held. i feel really bad for nate. it's rough having a 4 week old and a 15 month old.
kltroy's Avatar kltroy 09:59 PM 07-11-2008
We're doing pretty well here - DS is 25 months. He's been really good and I think it helps that Claire is a super easy baby. I can't imagine how things would work if I couldn't put her down! It's hard balancing both their needs, but so far we're swinging it ok... hopefully I haven't jinksed myself in saying that she's easy... it's only been 3 weeks!
MamaHen2J&J's Avatar MamaHen2J&J 10:18 PM 07-11-2008
I've got a 2 and four year old and its going better than I thought it would, although I have little patience!

1 to 2 is MUCH harder than 2 to 3!
mamaprek's Avatar mamaprek 10:42 PM 07-11-2008
It has been a transition for us as well. DS1 will be 2 in August. The main things that keep me from going crazy are the sling and an afternoon nap! DS2 is in the sling a lot so that I can still do things with DS1 (such as library story time, park playgroup, etc). In the afternoon we all crawl into bed together. Even if I don't sleep, it is still nice to lay down and relax for a couple hours. If DS2 is awake, I just enjoy the quite time holding and nursing him in bed while DS1 sleeps beside us.
JustVanessa's Avatar JustVanessa 11:26 PM 07-11-2008
Can anyone say cartoons?

Ds1 isn't doing too bad now, still quite the handful when he is hungry/tired and I can't get him what he wants as soon as he wants it.
Lizafava's Avatar Lizafava 01:20 AM 07-12-2008
Um, yeah. I am really embarrassed by the amount of TV DS1 has watched over the past two weeks. He will watch the Maisy DVD from the library all day if we let him. I know I need to pull the plug soon, but I am afraid! He doesn't nap, and we've never negotiated a quiet time in his room or anything. TV is the only quiet I get.

Anyway, DP is still home, so we are doing pretty good. DS1 is handling it really well, and has only been whiny the last couple days. I know he is missing me, but doesn't really realize it b/c he's getting so much great attention and time with DP. Today he kept asking me to "put baby Julian in the bouncey, mama, he really likes it!" I feel terrible, but I keep trying to remember that the existence of a sibling is not punishment. I'm an only child so its all a little abstract to me

Today I tried experimenting with different ways to put the baby down. He's a pretty easy baby so far (why is there no knock on wood smiley?!) so I am hopeful that we'll be okay when DP goes back to work and school......
i*wish's Avatar i*wish 11:32 AM 07-12-2008
My dd1 is 33months and she is so so active. We are out of the house every morning until lunchtime...come home and she eats and then naps ....in the afternoon we go out again or at least play outside. If she's busy playing then it's fine....If I need to be at home with the two alone. UG. She wants me to play hide-n-seek, or this or that and, my biggest problem is: she wants to 'kiss the baaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyybeeeeeeeeee'. I try so hard to take deep breathes and be patient and let her kiss, touch, whatever, with the baby but she ALWAYS crosses the line and I end up having to tell her to move on. It totally sucks. I *hate* it and go to bed every night feeling guilty and like I'm creating the biggest problem sibling rivalry on earth . *sigh*.
So that's our situation.... slowly working through the transition.
berkeleyp's Avatar berkeleyp 12:38 PM 07-12-2008
I've been meaning to start a thread like this. Its definitely tough having two. I've been lucky to have a lot of help with my toddler but the days its been just us have been challenging. I am so much less patient with her and she is more demanding and pushing the limits of my patience ALL the time. More later.
eastvillage's Avatar eastvillage 02:28 PM 07-12-2008
Two is HARD! Wow - transition is tough. DD is 2 1/2 and my new son is almost a month old (Evan Isaac!) He is just as tough as she was, as a newborn, so I can rarely put him down - he is not impressed with the sling, either. Tough, tough, tough - DD is more demanding and throws fits easily - has regressed back into diapers for naps and sleeping - even pooped in a diaper which she hasn't done in months and months. Gross. I keep reminding myself - this is not permanent - this is not permanent.
mandalin24kd's Avatar mandalin24kd 02:31 PM 07-12-2008
Dd1 is doing horribly. Shes's reverted on a lot of things and whines about everything, she has constant "oowies", and still HATES the baby. A friend actually handed me 'raising you spirited child' yesterday.

YAY for me
SunnieP's Avatar SunnieP 03:26 PM 07-12-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minoh View Post
I haven't been on here in a while but dd was born June 29 and is now almost 2wks old. I also have a ds who is 2.5yrs old.

How are other mamas handling the transition to two? I'm finding it really hard to balance the needs of both at this point. Ds has been handling it pretty well most of the time but he's definitely more demanding these days and his naps have been a struggle for me. I was hoping we could all nap together but it's actually dd, with her grunting and gas issues, that keeps me from being able to nap.

Anyway, just wondering how other mamas are faring.
same here
Twwly's Avatar Twwly 03:29 PM 07-12-2008
DS is 21 months. This is a lot more difficult than I thought it would be, emotionally.

DS is also constantly creating 'owies' like a previous posters DD and when he throws tantrums now they are FIERCE.

I feel really spent and really guilty about how little time and patience I have.
klink2's Avatar klink2 04:09 PM 07-12-2008
No toddler here, but dd1 will be 6 in a couple of weeks and suddenly I have a teenager on my hands! Where did this attitude come from? I miss my sweet girl. She is very good with the baby and seems to have no anger/resentment directed at the baby, but she is angry at me. I hope it will get better. Thank goodness she's old enough to go on playdates!
berkeleyp's Avatar berkeleyp 12:26 PM 07-14-2008
I have days when I really wonder why I decided to have children and why I decided to have a second. My 3yo watches way too much TV on the days we're cooped up in the house. I try to go out but I can't afford the gas to do something everyday. I live in a pretty rural area so its $3-10 in gas every time we go out. Luckily I can walk to the library, which is only good for about a one hour trip a couple days a week and to a nice walking path (again no more than a one hour trip).

I have issues controlling my mood/temper when I am overtired and/or hungry which I seem to be a lot these days so I lose my patience with dd1 who is also overtired and hungry at the same time and I yell at her and then have to apologize and feel like I'm generally a terrible mother. Thankfully, my MIL has been taking dd1 off my hands or inviting us all to her house where at least I have another adult to help with the kids and talk to. Whole days with no adult interaction really ware on me mentally.

Thank heaven for my baby carriers though. I am in love with my wrap cause I can pop the lo in and then do lots of stuff with dd1. I also have a ring sling and am considering another wrap and/or a baby k'tan. The lo likes to be held most of the time except for maybe twice a day for up to one hour if I'm lucky, she'll stay in the swing.

Oh yeah and my house is a mess!
Minoh's Avatar Minoh 09:55 PM 07-14-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by berkeleyp View Post
I have days when I really wonder why I decided to have children and why I decided to have a second.

I have issues controlling my mood/temper when I am overtired and/or hungry which I seem to be a lot these days so I lose my patience with dd1 who is also overtired and hungry at the same time and I yell at her and then have to apologize and feel like I'm generally a terrible mother.
I'm feeling the same way with respect to my patience level. I also wondered more than once if having a second was a mistake. I think for me the newborn weeks and months are the hardest, so I hope that I'll relax into parenting as time goes on. I remember being quite anxious with ds when he was a newborn but things got so much easier with time. I just have to keep reminding myself that this phase will pass soon (although at times it seems like the days drag by sooo slowly).
DiannaK's Avatar DiannaK 08:26 AM 07-15-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaHen2J&J View Post
I've got a 2 and four year old and its going better than I thought it would, although I have little patience!

1 to 2 is MUCH harder than 2 to 3!

phew .... not for me! For me, going from 1 to 2 was easy, since DD#1 was so much older than DD#2. From 2 to 4 ... WHOA! I feel like a reject mom just about every day.



Quote:
Originally Posted by *Karen* View Post
Ha ha. Struggling every day. DS is a handful and doesn't nap anymore. It is rough.
Hugs to you, Karen. I feel like that about 90% of the time. Rachel is trying to give up her nap time, too. That would be fine, if she wasn't a BEAR in the evenings.

I have found that, as hard as it is, getting OUT of the house EVERY day helps tremendously for us. I seriously think that my poor child goes stir crazy sometimes, if she's in the house.

She's become a MAJOR daddy's girl, which is good/bad. Good because I can focus on taking care of the babies, bad because it makes me feel unloved when she asks her Daddy to do everything. Good because it's strengthening her relationship with her father, bad because she throws a fit when I need him to help me with the babies, or when he is trying to get work done.

I keep saying, one day at a time, but there are a lot of days when I am stressed to the max.
JustVanessa's Avatar JustVanessa 11:46 AM 07-15-2008
I take it back. Ds was a monster yesterday. If I asked him to do something, he refused outright. If I asked him not to do something (ex...standing on the back of the couch to try and knock pictures off the wall) he kept doing it until we physically stopped him. I did take him out, it continued to my bff's house (he actually hit her 16 month old) and then to my dad's house. I have never been so happy to see bedtime in my life.
Kylahroo's Avatar Kylahroo 11:47 AM 07-15-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by berkeleyp View Post
I also have a ring sling and am considering another wrap and/or a baby k'tan.
LMK what you think of it if you get one. I bought one during my pregnancy, used it once early on and haven't picked it up again since. I love my wraps, but this is 3 separate pieces of fabric that you need to put on individually. IMO, it's very time-consuming and HOT! I can wear my fleece pouch and be less warm.
Xpcting#3's Avatar Xpcting#3 04:23 PM 07-15-2008
I'm finding our move from 2 to 3 is much, much more difficult that the switch from 1 to 2 - but maybe it's just that I've forgotten. No, this is much harder.

DS1 is 4yo, DS2 is 2yo. I'm sad about the time I'm not giving them right now, although DH is home with them, too. They're acting out - mostly by being loud, loud, loud.

At the same time as I'm missing time with my older boys, all I want to do is be with this new baby. I'm sad that this will be my last baby - and the next moment I think we were CRAZY having a third at all.

I try not to panic about going back to work next month, and the havok that will bring to all of our psyches...ugh.
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