If people are offended they don't have to come. I don't know why its such a huge faux pas. In our culture we give gifts for all occasions. Why not get some cake in return!?
In my case my kids are all going to be 3 yrs apart. We thought we were done. We don't have any baby things other than a few pieces of clothing I kept for sentimental reasons and some newborn diapers I forgot to give to sil.
I gave all my newborn, small, and all but the medium prefolds to my sil.
The infant car seat is gone.
The jumpy thing ds liked is gone.
We had a bouncer for a safe place to put them while mommy showered or cooked and that's gone.
Clothes are gone.
Most toys are gone.
And my medium and large diapers that are left are worn out.
Honestly, we can't really afford to have this baby if we are going to buy everything new.
With my tax money I bought a mei tai carrier. I sold some of my knitting things and bought a wrap carrier.
I used some tax money to just now buy a dozen bumgenius one size diapers. Hopefully ds will potty learn soon but if not I can use these for both kids.
I do have friends that have said they will pass on their baby clothes to us but they both had girls so we can hope ours is too!
I also have two friend insisting on giving me a shower. People bring gifts anyway, even if you don't have a shower people give you gifts!
So yes, I made a registry. It will make things easier for people to find.
If you want to see it, you can see for yourself
that its not frivoulous. It has a few items that we could really use, I love that Amazon let's you rank the importance of the items, and a few that we don't need but were cheaper so people of all budgets can get ideas.
And I'm so blessed I got to take a few items off already. A friend is giving us her Britax Husky for ds so that we can use his old 5-40lb for the new baby. I was set to use that from the beginning but then read that most 5-40lbs don't accomodate newborns that well until they reach 10lbs or so. I'm hoping we can borrow a safe infant seat from a friend instead.
So it may be in violation of ettiquette but I will glady accept the party that my friends are throwing because she loves to throw parties and when I'm huge pregnant and feeling so overwhelmed trying to put things together I'll appreciate having all my friends around supporting me by simply being there, passing on their used baby items, or giving me a new gift of something we could really use.