Believe me, it was driving me nuts being away.
First of all, thank you everyone for your prayers and thoughts. I was glad to know so many were thinking of us. And now I guess nothing remains but to update. It seems like an eternity and a lifetime has passed since I was here last, and I am changed for the experience. I checked into the hospital Monday night, and the bleeding increased from there. But as usual, no one knew why. I was on bedrest, with bathroom priveleges, I had daily u/s, which showed a breech baby measuring in the 15% percentile, and so the conclusion was drawn that the bleeding was indeed placental in origin, and that the baby wasn't getting optimal nutrition because of it. I was put on IV antibiotics for the rupture, and very few people thought I would last a week. Almost daily I had to convince someone of the accuracy of my due dates, because, you know, I didn't rush out and have an u/s at 6 weeks, and no one can possibly know when they ovulated.
I did eventually convince one resident, who then fought the battle for me. I told him what my chart had looked like that month and he believed me. But as the days went on, I got more hopeful that I might just make it awhile yet. My mom flew in Thursday, and it was such a relief to know DS and DD had grandma to take care of them. I now wonder if that's what my body was waiting for. I went into labor about 3 hours after she arrived. No matter how much good water I drank, what position I tried, the contractions kept coming. I had a biophysical profile done in the middle of the night, 8/10, losing 2 because of the lack of fluid. They pumped 2 liters of IV fluid into me, hoping to rehydrate me, even though I knew I wasn't dehydrated. Every time I went to the bathroom during that time, I noticed more and more blood, and at one point saw what was unmistakably the mucous plug. I was given a sleeping pill, in case that helped, and it didn't. Finally, I had my cervix checked and was 2-3 cm. The attending doc said I was looking at a c-section. The baby was breech, and the bleeding was so heavy, she was sure I was heading for full abruption. She was very understanding and apologetic about not being able to turn the baby, or allow for vaginal delivery, but she said either one would bruise the baby and likely speed the abruption. I called dh, who by this time was at work, and he came immediately, and I was prepped for surgery. Then a new doc came on shift, one I had already run into and not gotten along with at all. He told me we would likely need to do a classical incision, because of how far along I was, the lower uterus wasn't stretched out enough. I asked what happened to the other doc, and he said she went home. I was totally in distress that this man I didn't trust was going to do my surgery, and I asked to speak with the other doctor. They caught her before she left, and I was honest with them, that I needed to be able to trust the person who held my and my baby's life in his hands, and the planned doctor was not that person. So my first doc agreed to stay on and assist. And away we went, into the OR. I got spinal anesthesia, because, despite all the grief and stress, I have one strong little baby, who didn't show signs of distress at all. I sobbed all the way through the surgery, which start to finish took about and hour. When they pulled the placenta out, they found a clot behind it almost the same size as the placenta. And yet it never showed up on u/s, but that's obviously why I had been bleeding for the previous month.
At one point I looked at DH and said "I failed." He told me not to talk like that, but that's how I felt. I had failed to have a peaceful pregnancy and birth my baby deserved, who had been subjected to weeks worth of a stressed uterine environment, and was now facing months in the NICU. And with a classical incision, if this isn't our last baby, no one will support a VBAC for me. Before I get too ahead of myself, the stats of the baby are:
born at 26 weeks 4 days Friday April 4 9:09 a.m, weighing 1 pound 10 ounces. There is some genital ambiguity, unrelated to prematurity, and at first it was announced we had a girl. Since then it seems apparent that we have a boy with severe hypospadias (sp?) but the hospital will wait until the chromosomal and hormone tests come back at the end of next week before officially declaring one way or another. Overall, "baby Q" is doing awesome. He came out screaming, and has been off the ventilator for 2 days now. He isn't tolerating feeds yet, but that's pretty common. He's a feisty as he was in the womb, and likes to pull his gastric tube out. Right now he is under bili lights and in an electrolyte controlled environment, so we can't hold him just yet, although just last night the NICU nurse let me hold him while she changed his bedding, but I shouldn't count on that happening too often. Right next to him in the NICU is another baby who was born at 27 weeks 2 months ago and now just looks like a small newborn. That kid is my inspiration, that this will turn out alright.
I'm in the hospital until tomorrow morning. DH went out and bought me a laptop when we thought I'd be here for weeks on end (he is so good to me) but he didn't get the internet working on it until just today. I thought about asking him to update here, but the last week has been hell on earth for us. He has been so stressed being a single parent I didn't want to ask anything more of him. But I'll be home tomorrow, which even though it will be without my baby, I still think it will be better for our family overall. We'll come back often, especially when my milk comes in.
Please keep the thoughts and prayers coming. As well as Quinn is doing, he still has a long road ahead of him. I'll post a picture when I get home, so those of you in the 26/27 week range can get an idea of what your babies look like. And then I guess I'll join the premie parenting board. Oh, here's an irony. I had a miscarriage last summer, but I was briefly part of the April DDC. My due date would have been today. I miscarried at 6 weeks, had a really long cycle and then got pregnant this time. I wonder if some aspect of this child has been with me for 9 months afterall. I believe it's possible.
Well, that's as much as I can handle for now. Good luck, July mamas. I'll check on you now and then, but I feel like I don't really belong here anymore. I hope the best births and happy healthy full-term babies for all of you.