Names, how do you decide? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 12:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you wait for the "ah-hah!" moment and just know? Did you discuss it way in advance and this is the name no matter what? Do you look for something popular, does that matter to you at all? Do you look for something that matches your other kids names? Do you look at the meaning to decide?

How do you decide on a name?

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#2 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 12:32 PM
 
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names is something that sounds like fun until your dh issues his first veto on a name you like. We're pretty settled on Ava Jolie. Ava was the name of my first m/c. She named herself and told it to me in a dream. I did not even know she passed until weeks later. So the first name honors her and the middle is Jolie which is more original (means pretty in French) and she can go by that if there are too many Ava's out there for her taste.
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#3 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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With our first two it was easy. We had two first names we always loved. They were unique and sound good with our last name which are two requirements for us.

We don't have another name that we both agree on though. Its been a big pain in the butt. At this point in both other pregnancies we at least had a first name picked out.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#4 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 12:43 PM
 
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Well, this is my first baby, and he isn't here yet. Still, I feel pretty set on our name, and I really like being able to refer to him by it already.

For us it was a process. We basically went through a baby name book or two circling and dog-earing anything we even sort of liked. Then, we started to weed out from that list of names; that kind of gave us an opportunity to figure out what our criteria were for names (nothing in the US top 100, nothing that reminded us of something neg, etc). Once we realized what our criteria were, the list got short fast. We were volleying betwixt two names, and ended up going with the one that went better with our middle name ideas (it was the one I preferred as well).
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#5 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 12:59 PM
 
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I DON'T KNOW!!

I have a feeling this child will be nameless. With our others, we had a few names picked out to choose from when the baby came. Then we waited a week or so until we picked one from our list that we really liked and thought "fit" our child. AH! Not this time. We don't have any names the JUMP out at us. It's going to be tough.

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#6 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by huskermommy View Post
I DON'T KNOW!!

I have a feeling this child will be nameless. With our others, we had a few names picked out to choose from when the baby came. Then we waited a week or so until we picked one from our list that we really liked and thought "fit" our child. AH! Not this time. We don't have any names the JUMP out at us. It's going to be tough.

This is where we're at. Everytime we try to talk about names, it doesn't get anywhere. I'm convinced the child will be a month old before we figure anything out. The "plan" is to have a couple names that we both like and then meet the little one and see which ones seem right. But I'm starting to worry we're not even going to have a couple in reserve.

Karen happily partnered mother of 3 beautiful girls (teen/toddler/newborn).
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#7 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 03:23 PM
 
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Our girl name is set in stone and has family meaning. We can't agree on a boy name so I really don't know what we will do if we have a boy. DH and I have very different preferences and neither of us are bending.

Rachel - Married to my Best friend & Mama to Quinn Patrick 7/18/08 - Mama to : Clover too
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#8 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 04:15 PM
 
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My husband and I both entirely independently came up with the same name when I was just a few weeks along- "Rowan". I was thinking of it for a girl's name, he was thinking of it for a boy's name, so we decided that whatever the gender that'll be the name!

I actually didn't mention it to him at first because I thought he'd hate it, so when he brought it up my jaw about hit the floor.
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#9 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 04:32 PM
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We are having a hard time, too. We have it narrowed down to 3-5 names, but go back and forth on which ones to use. For some, it seems like we will have to see her first to know which one fits her.

I thought you had to put the name on the birth certificate right away if you're giving birth in a hospital. Is that true? How long can you wait after birth to give the official name?

Mom to sweet DD 8/08, and adorable DS 10/20/10
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#10 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 04:35 PM
 
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Oh names.....:

We ask each other every couple days... "thought of any more names yet?"

We have the boys middle names pretty much decided. One that DH likes and one that I have wanted for family significance. But no first name.

The girl name we have a first name we are pretty much set on and the second middle name, a family name but nothing for the first middle spot. A couple we like tho. I think we are closer to a girl name than boy because that is what we are more likely having.

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#11 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 06:49 PM
 
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My DH and I are in love with the name Jack for our son. We have been calling him Jack since we found out it is a boy. I have recently talked to 2 women about to become grandmothers who's daughters are naming their sons Jack and two other pregnant people that I have met picked the name Jack. That's 4 other Jacks about to be born! I have always disliked popular names and had all unique names picked out but my DH won't budge and only likes "popular" names. I'm just afraid there are going to be a million other Jacks born this year and he won't feel like he has a unique name but I'm torn because I'm so used to calling him that and it fits so well for us.

Linz- Mama to DS Jack (6/08) and baby #2 due 7/25/2010
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#12 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 07:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LinzMommy2Be View Post
My DH and I are in love with the name Jack for our son. We have been calling him Jack since we found out it is a boy. I have recently talked to 2 women about to become grandmothers who's daughters are naming their sons Jack and two other pregnant people that I have met picked the name Jack. That's 4 other Jacks about to be born! I have always disliked popular names and had all unique names picked out but my DH won't budge and only likes "popular" names. I'm just afraid there are going to be a million other Jacks born this year and he won't feel like he has a unique name but I'm torn because I'm so used to calling him that and it fits so well for us.
Is Jackson (Jack for short) more uncommon?
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#13 of 23 Old 04-14-2008, 08:52 PM
 
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I think hospitals want you to put a name on, but if you don't have one, you don't have one.

I have never thought of names in advance of birth....until this time. I just looked at my kids and tried to feel out who they were. I've had pretty strong feelings about this.

So....this time....I have a girl name and a boy name all picked out...I don't even know why. But I like it, and it was easy to think of.

wierd, huh? It's my last baby.
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#14 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 01:41 AM
 
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Strangely enough, both dh and I had very strong preferences for names before having kids only to never use those names.

Each time we have named a child we narrow it down to a few we are both happy with and the right name just seems to shine from those after talking for a while. So somehow we always feel like each of us got what we wanted, which makes me happy.

*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#15 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 02:38 AM
 
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It's so strange to have a name picked this soon. We decided about soon after we found out it was a girl.
It is one the most popular names out there, but we decided we liked it too much to not go with it. I've loved the name as long as I can remember.

We don't have a middle name picked out yet, though. We have a couple of options.

With my oldest, the ex and I heard a song one day and knew that was it, with the youngest that poor child didn't have a name till the midwife follow up visit, and we really wanted to make a final decision on it at that point and did. We did have a middle name for him already, though.
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#16 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 03:50 AM
 
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We always begin thinking of names the moment we find out we are expecting.

Names are very important to us. The meanings, the associations, and the role model of the Biblical Person who had it first. They must all match who we would like our child to grow up to be. So we start thinking and looking.

When we find one that just seems to "fit" we look at all the things we can about the mentor of the name and how they were in life and what they contributed and such. Because we really think a name can define a person. And I want my child given the best. And the name we choose is a very special name choosen for a very special reason. And we want them to cherish that name because it is a gift from us to them.

After we choose the name, we pray about it to make sure it is right. But we always have it ready by the time the child enters the world.

Any misspellings or grammatical errors in the above statement are intentional;
they are placed there for the amusement of those who like to point them out.
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#17 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 12:44 PM
 
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We prefer family names and thought we had our name all picked out. Now, we have started to waver. The middle name is definitely set. It is a family name that I really wanted to use last time, but DH wanted a different name, so I guess I win this time. We have an alternate first name picked out, which DD insists is the name, but DH doesn't think it is a girl name. And then we have a short list of possibles. So, we have two strong maybes and a few possibles and a middle name. I think we are just going to wait until we meet her. It is strange though because we had DD all picked out ahead of time (she picked her own name via muscle checking but my friend who helped has moved away.) This time it is so strange to me to not know!
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#18 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 12:54 PM
 
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With our DD, we knew her name before we even got preggy! It just came to us! (Well, her first name. We always knew our 1st DD would have my middle name/my grandmother's middle name...) My DS - I always knew he would have my grandfather's middle name as his, but it took us forever of going back and forth vetoing each other's suggestions until we hit a name we liked! This time we have been round and round again! DH and I have the HARDEST time agreeing on names!!!! All we know is we want her middle name to be after someone since our other two are named after someone...

And BTW - you don't have to know the baby's name if a hospital birth... You have a bit to decide... Yes, they would prefer you to know, but it is not "mandatory"...

ETA: BTW - I always say the name (The whole name - first middle last) out loud several times - and also VERY LOUDLY! As you would if calling the child from another room - to see if the name "flows" and to see if I really like it. Does that make sense? Just me!

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#19 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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i[m convinced this baby will be nameless for like a month. well, not entirely. we have two middle names in reserve for a boy, no first names, and nothing for a girl. nothing feels right yet. we weren't planning on making a final decision til we met the baby, but i'd hoped to have a couple waiting.

Jenny (27) partner to Michael (28) mama to Zoe (8) Selene (4) Garvin (2) and baby Gwendolyn (born 14 Jan 2011)
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#20 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 01:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by christinespurlock View Post
Is Jackson (Jack for short) more uncommon?

That's a great suggestion--I love the name Jackson but it's really common now- I think it was in the top 35 for boys names last year.

Linz- Mama to DS Jack (6/08) and baby #2 due 7/25/2010
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#21 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 01:40 PM
 
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they were just 'it' for us. but i have had the girl name for like, ever.
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#22 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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Do you wait for the "ah-hah!" moment and just know? Did you discuss it way in advance and this is the name no matter what? Do you look for something popular, does that matter to you at all? Do you look for something that matches your other kids names? Do you look at the meaning to decide?
Each time just seemed to be a little different. I mostly picked names on the first three, with a little input here and there from then-DH. Except for the middle name of my second child, none were family names. I put my foot down there - my family WAY over-uses names. (I have a brother whose 5 sons all have the same middle name as him, then there's about a dozen Ray/Rae middle names, and at least a good 8 or 9 Louise's, a few Merrill's, a handful of Mae's, and a couple of Timothy's. Then-DH had about 5 or 6 Louise's and a handful of Susan/Suzanne's, and wanted to go with Louise, but I said ABSOLUTELY NOT. No offense to any Louise-lovers out there, but I hate it - old-fashioned and, in my family, worn out.)

It was more of a compromise thing with the last two. This DH wanted more straightforward, traditional names that could be translated into Spanish, hence Thomas and Gabriella. But I wanted something a little less common and with more of an Irish flavor (Tommy's middle name is Kieran) or at least that was just a little different (Gabbi's mid. name was ALMOST Siobhan, but got changed to Diane at the last minute).

This time, he had very little say at all. I picked Jayson if it's a boy. He said no. I said... well, I can't repeat it here, I'd get censored . So he agreed to it only if I spelled it Jason. I just smiled. He doesn't fill out the paperwork so it's not really up to him. He picked Scott for a middle name which I liked anyway. For a girl he said Olivia. I said no. There was an argument. I told him it was probably a boy anyway so we stopped talking about it. Now he's not in the picture so he doesn't get ANY say... oh well for him.

This past weekend I had an A-HA moment for a girl's name: Jewyll Raine. So there it is. He'll hate it but he's not even going to be there for the birth, so I don't see that it makes much of a difference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hyz View Post
I thought you had to put the name on the birth certificate right away if you're giving birth in a hospital. Is that true? How long can you wait after birth to give the official name?
I always thought you HAD to have a name. In the hospital you are required to get a physician's signature on the certificate, so how would you get that without filling it out?

Then again, when my XDH was a baby, his parents called him "Bay" for two weeks after he came home from the hospital. (Short for "Baby.") They couldn't pick anything and he ended up being a Junior.

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#23 of 23 Old 04-15-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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Having been an Ashley, it drove me crazy to have my name yelled out every place I went and to have several in my school or in my class at any one time, to the point that one year I was called by my last name. Just one of my quirks. Childhood trauma...

My main criteria is that it can't be in the SSA top 100. I also love names that are a little different. We pretty much yell out names at each other until we find one that we can just look at each other and know that's the one. No need to look further after that, we just know it's right.

My sister looked at me like I was nuts while she was visiting when I just randomly yelled to DH in the other room "Cade" and just like that he yelled back "Not it!" He knew exactly what I was talking about, but I had to explain to her that I was yelling a name. We pick them from just about anything. DH even called me from work with names.

That said, we did go 'round and 'round with boy names and finally narrowed it down to two, then we discovered we were having a girl. We knew girl names would be easier for us and the night before our u/s the first name I suggested was "the one" and we've stuck with it. Middle names generally have some family influence. It may not be an exact name, just that it may be Irish like DH's family for example.
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